Oh, my God.

When I woke up this morning, I never would have imagined that this is where I’d end up. Lying like this on Ronin’s bed, underneath him, with his beautifully intense green eyes staring down at me while he sinks inside…whatever my imagination might have dreamed up never could have been this good.

Because it is good. Even though Ronin knows my story, he doesn’t treat me like a broken doll he needs to fix. I really thought he would have. Instead, he handled me like a man who knew exactly what he was doing. He knew exactly where to touch me, where to hold me, how to make me explode under his tongue and hands.

I’ve always hated losing control. I’ve made sure to be in control of everything in my life up until this point, and for good reason. But with Ronin…I think I might learn to like letting go for a change.

He doesn’t slide inside me inch by painstaking inch. No, Ronin Shaw does everything with full power, and he sinks into me right to the hilt. Then he stills, the look in his eyes hot enough to melt my bones.

Ronin’s filling me up in a way I’ve never felt before. I’m deliciously stretched, and there’s a growing, furious need inside of me for more. More of him, more of everything.

There was a time in my life when I thought I’d never want this again. I never wanted a man anywhere near me, much less inside me. And then when I was with Mick, everything we did was tainted by my own insecurities and the hold he had over me.

But now, with Ronin? I’m struck by how free I feel, even in the midst of losing control.

How is that even possible?

His fingers firm on my chin, the expression in his eyes burns but softens. “Talk to me. Are you feeling this? You’re okay?”

God. Was I okay? The epic truth is yes. It’s like he’s poured some kind of salve all over the scared young woman inside of me who doesn’t want anyone to get too close.

“More than okay.” I breathe, trying to convey exactly what I’m feeling through my gaze.

Lust flares in his stare. “Good girl.” His eyes drop to where we’re joined, but he still hasn’t moved.

When I can’t take it anymore, I reach around him and grab the firm muscles of his ass, pulling him toward me. I need him to move.

His eyes going dark with desire, one side of his mouth tips up as he watches me. “My Red is impatient.”

His Red. Oh, how I wish that were true.

With a frustrated little growl, I thrust my hips up, grinding against him. And finally, he begins to move. He pulls out of me, almost all the way, before driving back inside. The feeling is exquisite; the long, rock-hard length of him caresses me exactly where I crave it, and my eyes slide shut.

My hands slip up the broad expanse of his back, and as he pulls out and thrusts into me again, my nails find his skin and dig.

When it comes to lovemaking, I’m a “vanilla” kind of girl. I know it has to be done, and I like to get in and get it over with as quickly as possible. I don’t allow anything rough, anything boisterous, anything loud, because I come from a fragile place when it comes to intimacy.

But as my nails dig into Ronin’s back and I open my eyes to see the pleasure written across his face because of what I’m doing to him, a brand-new sense of power washes over me. Maybe sex doesn’t have to be something I check off on a list of to-dos when dating. Maybe it can be something freeing, exhilarating, and amazing.

At least with this man, it can be.

“Red,” grinds out Ronin. “The way your body wraps around mine…it’s killin’ me, sweetheart. I need to let go, okay?”

My muscles tense automatically, and a slight spark of fear ignites inside me. I can’t help it, can’t control it. My past…it haunts me and Ronin knows it.

“Hey.” Ronin’s big hand caresses the side of my face. “Look at me, Red.”

I lift my eyes to meet his, my heartbeat racing in my chest.

“I’m not going to hurt you. I’ll never hurt you. And you say the word if you want me to stop, got it?” He stares down at me, his gaze burning and sincere.

My breath, which had been coming in increasing quick little gasps, slows. I stare into his eyes and see the truth written there. I trust that truth. Ronin would never hurt me. He’s been doing everything in his power to protect me.

I’m safe with him.

I nod, circling my arms up around his neck.

Holding my gaze with his, he hitches one of my legs up over his hip, sinking deeper inside me as he does. We both groan at the feeling of it, and I’m right back in this moment with him. Here and now.

I know, deep inside my soul, that Ronin won’t hurt me. It’s been his mission for the past few days to make sure I’m safe, and something inside of me recognizes something inside of him. I can’t explain it, but I know it’s true.

My toes curl as he pounds into me, the rough rhythm he finds making my insides melt. Again and again, he hits the very center of me, and I bite my lip in an attempt to stifle a scream.

“Don’t.” Ronin orders. “Don’t ever hold back with me, Red. Let it out, dammit.”

His eyes are wildfire as he scans my body, his gaze dancing from my face to my breasts, down to the place where we’re joined, before starting his search all over again. It’s like every time his eyes land on a spot on my body, he gets even more excited, even more turned on. And that’s the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.

Unwrapping my hands from around his neck, he pins one above me and inclines his head toward my free hand. Dipping his head toward mine, he murmurs in my ear and a shiver rolls through me.

“Touch yourself, Red. Make it feel good.”

It’s something I’ve never done before. I’ve never felt the need to pleasure myself, not even in the nights when I’m lying in bed alone. And when I’m with a man, I don’t have any illusions that he’s going to be able to do it for me, I just accept the fact that it’s not going to happen for me. But Ronin has already given me my first orgasm tonight.

What if I’m able to help him give me my second?

The thought is intriguing, wildly appealing to all the parts of me that want control, and I tentatively allow my fingers to drift down my belly toward my heat.

He makes a deep sound of approval in his throat, his eyes simmering, as he watches me. “That’s it, sweetheart. Think about how you like me to touch you, and do it for yourself.”

His voice is like honey poured over almonds, or silk wrapped around a rough stone. It’s the place where soft and sexy meets rough and rugged, and it’s a side of Ronin that I’m naïve enough to believe only I’m getting to see.

Letting my fingers trail over my hip bones, I’m shocked at how erotic this is, at how good my own hands feel while I’m slick with the sweat Ronin’s caused. I find the spot just above where he and I are fused together, my fingers brushing the soaked length of him. He shudders, and I glance up at him, surprised.

Looking down at me, he smirks. “You have no idea what you do to me, do you?”

But I can’t answer him, because on their own, my fingers have found my clit and I begin to circle it gently. It’s the same thing Ronin did with his tongue back on the kitchen island, and when he starts to thrust into me again the pleasure is so good I have to close my eyes against it.

“Oh, God,” I moan, and I hear Ronin’s answering rumble as he thrusts faster.

My breath hitches and my fingers and Ronin’s rhythm seem to match it. Stars dance behind my eyes, and my hand falls away as I sink deeper into the bed. “I can’t…Ronin…please.”

“You’re so incredible, sweetheart.” He kisses me, and it’s a fusion of tongue and lips and teeth and I cry out against his mouth as I fall over the edge of my own pleasure.

Pumping into me several more times, I feel Ronin’s body go stiff and he grunts out his own release before falling over me. His sweat mingles with mine, the breathless sound of our gasps for air match, and I’m suddenly very, very afraid.

Not afraid of the man lying over me, but afraid of what will happen when this is over. Being with Ronin tonight changed something fundamental inside of me, and I’m terrified that I’ll never go back to being the old Olive.

All I want is to be the one I am when I’m with him.

When Ronin returns to bed from the master bathroom, he slides in beside me and pulls a sheet over us. Without a word, he pulls me into his side. I rest my head against his chest, and the steady thump of his heartbeat seems to keep pace with the pulse of the blood running through my veins. I sigh.

“Talk to me,” he whispers, and his fingers trail along the bare skin of my arm.

“Did we cross a line here?” I ask softly.

He chuckles. “Probably. But it’s one I don’t want to cross back over. Do you? Do you regret that it happened?”

I’m so sure of my answer I don’t need to think about it. “No.”

Ronin’s deep inhalation makes my head rise and fall with his chest. “Glad to hear that, Red. Because now I’m gonna want to make love to you on every surface in my house. It’d be a shame if you weren’t down with that.”

A shudder ripples my body, and I peek up at him. “Is that a promise?”

He stares down at me, a sparkle in his eyes I’ve never seen there before. “Absolutely.”

“Do you want me to go back to my room?” There’s a hint of uncertainty in my voice. Just because we had sex doesn’t mean that he’s going to want me in his bed all night.

Ronin’s arms tighten around me. “Fuck, no.”

I grin into his chest. We lay there silently, letting the moonlight wash over us, and my thoughts are lazy and haphazard until Ronin speaks again.

“Listen…”

I glance at him again, startled by the seriousness in his tone. “Yeah?”

“There were some things that Oakes said tonight that I’m going to have to take back to my team in the morning. We’re working on something, and the information I have now is going to play a vital part.” There’s a cautious undertone to his words.

Propping myself up on my arm, I look at him fully. “What kind of something are you working on?”

His expression shutters. “I can’t tell you that.”

I stare at him for a minute. My first instinct is to be hurt, angry, because after what we just did together I felt like I’d given him a piece of myself. I want him to want to share everything with me. Then again, after being at the Night Eagle office, I know that a lot of what they do there is classified, and me sleeping in his bed doesn’t mean I suddenly have a security clearance. I try to rein in my anger, telling myself that even if he wanted to tell me about his work, he probably couldn’t.

I sigh. “Yeah, okay. But if it has something to do with M.J., I don’t have a good feeling about it.”

Ronin’s expression is troubled. “Neither do I. I was serious earlier, Olive. I don’t ever want you to put yourself in a situation where you’re alone with him. It’s not an option, okay?”

His voice has gentled, like he expects a repeat of our earlier argument, but he’s not going to get one from me. Not now.

Bending, I brush my lips across his. “Okay.”

My stomach rumbles, and I realize for the first time that we haven’t had dinner. Ronin chuckles, sitting up and pulling me out of bed with him.

“Come on, Red. Let’s feed you. And then there’s something else I want you to do.”

“What’s that?” Curious, I peer up at him.

“I want you to call Ken. And tell him you won’t be seeing him again. You belong to me.” His eyes, full of possession and intensity, blaze into mine just before he lowers his lips to my forehead.

Sighing, I snuggle into him. “Yes, sir.”

Calling Ken is something I had planned to do anyway, but Ronin’s asking me to just cements in my mind that it’s the right thing to do.

And his wanting to feed me? It’s such a nice, normal thing for him to say, to want to do, that a light peal of laughter bubbles out of me. With Ronin, at his place with the ocean crashing on the shore just outside, lying naked in his arms, I’m feeling something I’ve worked so hard to manufacture over the years.

I feel like I’m at home.