When I become aware the next morning, I smell her before I open my eyes. It’s like I’ve slept in a blanket all wrapped up in peaches, and I instinctively pull her closer just so I can have more of it. In sleep, she’s soft and warm and perfect, and I take a minute to just enjoy this unguarded, pliant Olive because I know the second she wakes up she’ll tense up and pull away.

When I’d heard her moving around last night, I was up and out of bed before I even really thought about it. All I knew was that I didn’t want her to be up alone. So I snuck out of my room, and when I saw her sitting there on my couch, all huddled up and small, something in my chest broke apart. She was scared, that much was clear, and the urge to get close to her, to comfort her, was unstoppable.

My thoughts flash to Elle, and I allow myself one minute to compare. It was a rare occurrence to wake up next to Elle, because she was such an early riser. I usually woke up to the sound of her cooking in the kitchen, or to music playing as she got an early start to cleaning up around the apartment we shared. Olive is taller, a little more slender and graceful than Elle was, so the way she fits into the curve of my own body is more compatible and I like it way more than I should. My dick, especially, responds, hardening against her ass as she sleeps.

Elle was also an open book. Every thought or feeling she ever had was written across her face, and if she was pissed it came out in a slew of Spanish curses. She was a fireball, but she melted just as readily as she sparked. Olive is so much harder to read, to understand. She’s a puzzle that I can’t seem to totally figure out.

But what if I really tried? If I opened up to the possibility of truly knowing Olive? If I tried to get to the bottom of her mysterious nature, would she let me in? She’s been dating Ken, apparently. Has he been able to penetrate her walls?

Something inside me doubts it.

It also seems, from the tone of her conversation with Ken on the phone last night, that whatever they had is over. That thought makes me smile.

A soft, sleepy moan comes from the woman in front of me, causing the erection in my pants to become painfully aware of her closeness. I can’t cover my answering groan even though I try, and the redheaded beauty goes stiff and cold in my arms.

I know she’s awake, but she doesn’t say anything and I just wait.

Finally, tentatively, she turns onto her back and I loosen my hold to let her. She glances over at me, finding my eyes open and staring back at her, before she quickly turns her head toward the ceiling.

“Good morning.” Her voice is a sexy, throaty whisper that almost makes my eyes roll back in my head. I haven’t even touched her, not really, and she’s doing things to my body that I haven’t felt in a long damn time.

“Hey.” That’s all I’ve got. Fucking brilliant.

“Ronin?” Her eyes remain glued on the ceiling, and there’s trepidation in her tone.

“Yeah?” I turn onto my back like she is, folding my hands on my chest.

“Who’s Elle?”

I freeze; every muscle in my body, including my tongue, locks up. I can’t move, speak, or think.

What the fuck?

Elle isn’t a secret. Jeremy knows because he had my back when I returned to finish my tour after her funeral. And my team at Night Eagle deserve to know, because they’re like my brothers and we all have each other’s backs every day. I don’t keep secrets from them. But there’s an understanding that what happened to her is in my past. I don’t talk about it. I don’t think about it.

Until I got the call from Detective Watson.

Now I can’t stop thinking about Elle.

Olive doesn’t turn toward me, but when I don’t answer her question she barrels on. “I mean, it’s just that you said her name a few times in your sleep. One time I woke up and thought you were talking to me, but you…weren’t. And you said her name again. More than once.”

Sitting up, I push the blanket onto the floor and scrub a hand over my face. I can’t deal with this shit. Not now.

Maybe not ever.

Rising from the couch, I head toward the kitchen. “You want coffee?”

Olive doesn’t answer and I don’t wait for her response. Pulling two mugs down from the cabinet, I fill the single-cup machine with water and place a mug under the spout.

As it fills, I lean against the counter with both hands and close my eyes. Concentrating on taking deep, calming breaths, I try not to let the images of Elle bombard me, take me over.

“Ronin?” Olive’s soft voice is right behind me, and I turn to face her.

“Yeah.”

She stands with her arms folded, her figure slim and feminine in her silky pajamas. “I didn’t mean to pry. She’s someone who is important to you, that much is clear. I won’t ask again. But you don’t have to run from me.”

Realizing that Olive is going to be hanging out with me today, because there’s no way I’m going to let her go anywhere without me by her side, not with Mick running around, I meet her gaze. I don’t want her thinking that there’s a woman in my life right now who could walk in when she and I are lying close together like we did last night.

And fuck me…yes, I want that to happen again. And again.

She was honest with me about her past, even though it was painful for her. I can give her that same honesty.

“I’m not running, and you didn’t do anything wrong. It’s just…it’s a tough subject for me. But…you should know.”

She sucks her bottom lip between her teeth as she waits for my revelation.

“Elle is…was my wife. She was murdered seven years ago.” The words feel like bombs every time I have to drop them.

The deep dark blue of Olive’s eyes goes dim and glassy. “Oh, God. I’m so sorry, Ronin.”

I dip my chin, both to accept her condolences and her genuine sadness.

I’ve heard it so many times before. Every time I’ve told someone that I lost my wife. They’re always sorry. And it never makes a damn bit of difference.

But as I look into Olive’s eyes, I can see the hurt there. The sadness echoes mine, and I know that she feels my agony because she’s felt real pain herself. Our aches are different, but pain recognizes pain, regardless of the source.

I try to shrug it off. “It’s been seven years, you know? That’s a lot of time passed.”

Her head tilts to the side, understanding shining in her gaze. “That’s true. It’s been a lot of time, but that doesn’t mean the scars aren’t there.”

Spreading my arms wide, I laugh bitterly. “I really think I could have moved past it by now. But they never found her murderer. I never found him.”

“It wasn’t your responsibility to do that, Ronin.”

“Maybe not, but as long as her murder goes unsolved, I can’t move past it. I need to know why it had to be her. She was in trouble, that much was clear. But she never told me about it. I failed her.” I almost choke on the last words as the familiar hook takes hold in my gut and pulls.

Turning away from Olive, I pull the filled mug from underneath the spout and start the second cup. Taking a sip of the hot black liquid, the scald as it slides down my throat feels good compared to the burning in the place my heart used to be.

Two small hands slide up my back. They leave a trail of burning skin in their wake, and my whole body stiffens. Goddamn…her touch. It’s enough to make me weak, leave me wanting. When I turn around, her hands slide until her palms are pressing against my chest. I glance down at them, before looking her in the eye.

Those eyes…it’s like they can see things inside me I’ve tried for so long to hide from. The hurt, the anger, the loss…but also the longing I have for someone to mean something to me again. The heat between us surges, pulls tight.

“I have to go into NES today. I want you to come with me.” I try to keep it together, but the words are strained with the straight-up need rolling through my body.

Her mouth turns down at the corners as she takes a step back and I can see her defenses rise like a flag. “You don’t need me tagging along after you. I’ll be fine here.” She goes to the refrigerator and takes out a carton of milk for her coffee. “I already told Beth I wouldn’t be in, and it’s not like Mick knows where you live.”

Placing my now-empty mug on the counter, I lean against the granite and fold my arms across my chest. “I don’t know what the hell Mick Oakes knows, and I won’t leave you here alone. Please, humor me, Red.”

She sighs, rolling her eyes. For the first time since we woke up, I notice how adorable she is in the morning with her hair tossed into a messy bun on top of her head and her eyes still bleary from sleep. She’s more gorgeous this way…more Olive. There’re fewer barriers she puts up between us, and I like it. I really fucking like it.

Then Elle’s face pops into my head, and I remember what else I need to do today.

My voice firm, I give Olive a pointed glance. “You’re coming with me.”

She huffs. “Fine. God, has anyone ever told you how annoyingly bossy you are?”

Hiding a smirk, I turn away. “Be ready to leave in forty minutes.”

Then I turn and walk to my bedroom, ready to take a long, cold shower.