One of my favorite things to do is stroll along Michigan Avenue and peek in all the brightly colored shop windows. This is exactly what Chloe and I are doing today. Chloe has been invited to a fancy work dinner and needs a cocktail dress. I would loan her one of mine, but she’s six inches taller than I am and not as curvy.
Chloe has the body of a runway model.
Skinny bitch.
Know what’s worse than that?
She eats like a teenage boy going through puberty and never gains any weight. It’s so unfair. I don’t like going out to lunch with her because she’ll order a burger loaded with the works, chili cheese fries on the side, and a large Coke. She always polishes everything from her plate. I order a salad and a Diet Coke and am up a pound the next morning.
She’s also allergic to working out. I’ve cajoled her into running with me along the lakefront a few times, but we always end up walking after two blocks. Whatever genes she inherited need to be cloned.
Pausing mid-stride, we stop to gaze at the gorgeous display of purses in the window of Salvatore Ferragamo, one of the many high-end shops lining this busy street. Chloe points to a tan and white snakeskin shoulder bag.
“Is that the most stunning handbag you’ve ever seen or what?”
I have to agree. It’s beautiful. I could definitely see it on Chloe’s arm. She would rock the hell out of a purse like that. I ask, “Do you want to go in and take a look?”
Her bubbly excitement fades as she shakes her head. “No, I’ve already been in there numerous times to drool. If I step foot in that store again, there is no way I’m walking out without it.”
I shrug. “Okay.”
With a conflicted expression, she casts one more wistful look at the handbag before pulling me along with her. It’s a beautiful Thursday afternoon. I’ve already finished classes for the day, and I’m not on the volunteer schedule at the museum. I’m spending a few hours with Chloe before heading home to submerge myself in my studies.
“A few more months of shaking my ass at Covet and that purse will be as good as mine.”
I make a quick mental note of the bag she’s lusting over. Chloe’s birthday is coming up, and I would love to buy her something special. She’s been such a good friend, even after I pushed her away. It’s been over a month since our reunion, and we’ve fallen right back into our old friendship as if there had never been a two-year hiccup.
I don’t think Chloe has any idea just how meaningful her friendship is to me.
With the weather being so pleasant, we’re certainly not the only ones out shopping today. Sometimes it’s fun to walk around and watch tourists trying to navigate the city, professionals rushing from one place to another, not wanting to waste a single moment of their time, and people simply going about their daily lives. The energy on this street is infectious.
Chloe’s eyes meet mine as we continue making our way up the block, heading toward Water Tower Place, a seven-story mall on the Magnificent Mile. “You mentioned something about Dominic on the phone. What were you going to tell me?”
I stifle a groan.
Right… I’d started to tell her about what happened between us at The Field Museum before we were interrupted.
Now that I’ve had more time to think, I’m not sure I want to bring it up. I can imagine how she’ll react if I tell her everything Dominic confessed. I’m not sure if I want to hear it right now. Because I know Chloe, and she’ll tell me to go for it.
She doesn’t understand that it’s more complicated.
Ever since Dominic revealed his feelings, I haven’t thought about much else. I keep vacillating, thinking that there’s no way we can just begin a romantic relationship. I don’t want to risk ruining our relationship and losing the only family I have left.
He’s right about us getting along so well and having so much in common. We have a solid friendship. I think that’s why I’m having such a tough time with this decision.
I already love him.
But it isn’t that kind of love.
Is it possible for the love we have to bloom and grow into something more?
At this point, I haven’t come up with a definitive answer. It sucks, because I know he’s patiently waiting for one.
Maybe I do need Chloe’s advice on this matter since I’m so confused.
Inhaling deeply, I force the breath out before I can change my mind. “Dominic said that he’s interested in exploring a romantic relationship with me.”
I didn’t realize what a relief it would be to say the words out loud.
One moment Chloe is walking beside me and the next she’s not. The couple behind us nearly crashes into our backs. They grumble under their breaths and shoot us dirty looks. But Chloe couldn’t care less. She doesn’t pay attention to them. Her saucer-like eyes are fastened on me.
She practically bellows, “Shut the fuck up!” A few people swing around, gaping at her.
I grimace in embarrassment.
Grabbing my hand, Chloe stalks towards Saks Fifth Avenue, which is a few stores up the block. Once we’re inside, she drags me behind her like a rag doll until we reach the shoe department. She finds two chairs and drops into the first one, staring at me expectantly.
“Park it, sister. Then you’re going to fill me in on every single juicy detail. And I’m sure there are plenty.” With a gleam in her eyes, she rubs her palms together in anticipation. “God, I hope this story ends with you two sweaty and naked in bed.”
Maybe this wasn’t such a great idea after all.
I sit next to her and chew my bottom lip until it feels like a slab of raw meat. Which doesn’t take all that long since I’ve been chewing on it for days. It’s a bad habit I’ve never been able to shake.
“I should have known something was up.” She glares at me. “Your lip is a disgusting mess.”
I release it from my teeth and gingerly touch it with my fingertip. She’s right about it being a disgusting mess. “Yeah.”
When I remain silent, she snaps, “Spill! I’m dying here!”
Chloe leans back and crosses her legs as though we’re going to be here for a while.
Just as I’m about to open my mouth, a salesgirl approaches. “Is there anything I can help you with today?”
I wait for Chloe to tell her to beat it.
“Ummm…” Narrowing her eyes, Chloe studies the displays surrounding us. “Yeah. Actually, I’d love to see those black Manolo Blahniks with the crystal embellishments.” She then points to a pair of black velvet Gianvito Rossi heels with satin bows. “And definitely those.” Face filling with excitement, she gestures at a glittery pair of Monique Lhuillier suede sandals. “And those gorgeous little darlings.”
They really are beautiful. Chloe has amazing taste.
Expensive taste.
What I admire most about Chloe is how she’s willing to work for all the pretty things she wants to purchase. She doesn’t need a man to buy them for her. She works as a paralegal during the day and dances at Covet a few nights a week.
“Eights, please.”
With dollar signs in her eyes, the salesgirl skips off to do Chloe’s bidding.
Chloe turns back to me and lifts her brows as if she’s been waiting patiently for hours.
Unsure of how to explain the situation, I bottom-line it. “Dominic and I went to the Field Museum on Tuesday, and afterward, we sat by the lake.” I shake my head. I still feel blindsided by the declaration days later. “He said that he’s always loved me, but his feelings changed over the past year or so. They’ve become more,” I pause, “romantic in nature.”
Chloe’s hand flies to her mouth. “No! Are you serious?” In the next breath, she says almost threateningly, “You’d better not be screwing with me!”
I give her a look.
Still shocked, she shakes her head. “I can’t believe he actually said that to you!”
“I know.” I collapse in the cloth-covered chair.
“Have you slept with him?”
How could she even think that? It’s Dominic for goodness sake. Dominic! “No! Of course not.”
“Well, that’s a pity. I bet he’s amazing in bed. Lord knows he has a ton of experience under his belt.”
Yes, a ton of experience is right. He’s probably slept with hundreds of women. The man is forty-five years old.
The salesgirl returns carrying four boxes, carefully setting them down on a chair next to Chloe.
“We had the three you asked for in your size. I also brought another pair that just arrived today.”
Chloe perks up at the words just arrived today. They’re like music to her ears.
The girl dramatically lifts the cover from the box and removes a beautiful sandal. Almost reverently, she whispers, “Jimmy Choo.”
Chloe’s eyes widen as she takes in the crystal-studded silver leather.
“Oh my God,” she breathes, “those are stunning.”
“They really are,” I agree, feeling slightly awed.
She nibbles at her lower lip and asks, “How much?”
“Twenty-four hundred.”
Chloe shoots the girl an exasperated look. “You’re seriously killing me right now.”
The girl grins evilly in response. “I’ll leave these here for you to try on. Let me know if there’s anything else I can help you with.”
As she walks away, Chloe mutters, “Bitch.”
With a small smile, I shake my head. “It’s like they see you walking in and just know.”
She huffs in irritation. “Tell me about it.”
She zeros in on the Jimmy Choo sandals first. All talk of Dominic goes on the backburner as she slips a foot into each one. She reminds me of Cinderella trying on the glass slipper. Standing, she struts back and forth a few times before turning her foot from side to side.
Sighing, she says, “I love them.”
I snort. “Of course you do. They’re twenty-four hundred dollars. Did you really think you wouldn’t?”
“I kind of hoped they wouldn’t fit. Or they’d be uncomfortable. Or not look amazing on my feet.” Her lips turn down at the corners. “But they fit perfectly and are super comfortable.” She gives me a determined look. One I’ve seen many times before. “I want them.”
“Maybe you should try on the others before rushing to any decisions.”
Sitting down, she lovingly removes them and opens one of the other boxes.
Picking up where our previous conversation left off, she adds, “A man who’s slept around and gotten the whole I can’t keep my dick in my pants phase out of his system is the perfect candidate for a long-term relationship. He’s seen what’s out there and is ready to focus on being a good boyfriend or husband.”
Boyfriend? Husband?
Yikes.
This conversation is moving at warp speed. I’m not even sure if I want anything romantic with Dominic and she’s already talking marriage.
Wearing another pair of shoes, she walks along the row of chairs and poses in front of a mirror. I can tell she doesn’t like them nearly as much as the first one.
“I don’t know…”
Sitting back down, she unwraps the third pair. “What are you going to do? Have you talked with him about it yet?”
I shrug and pick at my thumbnail. “We’ve texted back and forth. I don’t want it getting weird between us.”
“Yeah.” She grimaces. “That would definitely suck.”
Taking a deep breath, I ask, “What do you think?”
She gives me a look that says, Ummm, duh! “That you should go for it.”
No surprise there. Which is why I hesitated to bring it up. The ramifications could be disastrous if it doesn’t work out between Dominic and me. I’m not even sure if I can mentally shift gears and think of him as a love interest.
It just seems… I don’t know… weird.
There, I said it.
It feels weird to think of Dominic like that.
The question tumbles out of my mouth before I can rein it back in. “You don’t think it’s icky that he was my father’s friend? That he’s known me since I was in diapers?” A shiver zips through me as those disturbing thoughts bounce around my brain.
It just sounds so… pervy.
“Listen, if you were still in diapers, then I would say- yeah, it’s totally creepy. But you’re not. You’re a twenty-three-year-old woman. He’s forty-five. And hot as hell. I would be all over that if I were you.”
Yes, I know she would.
“I’m not sure if I can get past the fact that he’s my godfather. The person who my parents set up as my guardian. The man who’s supposed to take care of me.”
She grins and winks at me. “Oh, he’ll take care of you, all right. No doubt about it.”
I shake my head. “That’s wrong on so many levels.”
She rolls her eyes. “Well, I guess that’s something you need to consider. No one can help you with this decision. You’re the one who needs to be comfortable with it.” Sounding more serious, she continues. “You’ve always loved Dominic.” She waves a hand in my direction before I can interrupt. “Yes, yes, I know. It isn’t that kind of love. I got it.” She shrugs as if that’s hardly problematic. “There’s an undeniable bond between the two of you. Is there any reason that platonic love can’t grow into something more? To me, it’s a no-brainer.”
What she said is true. I do love him. Maybe it is possible for romance to flourish from our current relationship. “I really don’t know what to do.”
Just when I think Chloe has become wise beyond her years, she leans closer and whispers, “Are you telling me that you’ve never touched yourself, not even once, while thinking about him?”
I’m sure a horrified expression mars my face. How could there not be? “Good Lord, no!”
She arches a brow and says, “I have. Lots of times.”
My face crumples. “Ewww. Come on! I did not need to know that.”
Unaffected by my reaction, she asks instead, “Are you attracted to him? Do you think he’s hot?”
“On some level, I know he’s handsome.” I’ve always thought so. It’s kind of like when you have a cousin or a best guy friend and you know they’re good looking-hot even-but that doesn’t necessarily mean you’re attracted to them. Or that you want to jump their bones.
Starting a relationship with him would mean that I would have to change my perception of him.
Can I do that?
Chloe gets a little dreamy-eyed. “Yeah, he is. All that thick, blond hair shot through with silver and those gorgeous blue eyes. For a man his age, he has an incredibly buff body. I bet he works out every day.” She licks her lips. I don’t want to know what image is rolling through her head right now. “Yeah,” she confirms to no one in particular, “I would do him in a minute.”
“You already mentioned that,” I remind her drily.
“I really do love older men. They last so much longer in bed and are way more focused on a woman’s pleasure. I’ve been with too many guys under thirty who only think of themselves, the selfish bastards.”
Matteo pops into my head. Maybe hookups with selfish men has been Chloe’s experience, but it certainly wasn’t mine. Matteo took his time. I’ve never orgasmed so hard or so many times in my life. But that was just sex. I doubt it will morph into a relationship. He doesn’t seem interested in one. Plus, once again, he’s disappeared. For all I know, he’s purposely avoiding me.
Dominic, on the other hand…
He is interested in something more.
Chloe’s eyes narrow as she studies me for a moment. “Are you sure you haven’t slept with him yet? ‘Cause you just got this look on your face.”
I school my expression. “No. Nothing has transpired on that front.”
“Well, maybe that should be your next step before deciding whether a relationship is worth exploring. I can’t imagine him being a dud in the sack, but I guess it’s always possible that the two of you might not click between the sheets.”
“No! I can’t just have a one-night stand with my godfather.”
Again, I get a weird, jiggly feeling in the pit of my belly when I think about being intimate with Dominic. “I can’t just jump into bed with him. What happens if we aren’t compatible? What if things don’t go back to the way they were? He isn’t someone I can walk away from.”
Not like the guy next door.
“I’d still sleep with him.”
Now I roll my eyes. “Yes, I know. You keep telling me you would sleep with him at the drop of a hat. Or the drop of your panties.”
She smirks. “I’ll drop them right now if you want.”
I hold up a hand. Chloe would do something that outrageous without a second thought. “Please, I beg of you… leave the panties securely in place.”
The salesgirl sidles up to Chloe and sweeps her hand toward the boxes. “Have you made any decisions? Are there any other shoes I can show you?”
Shoulders slumping, Chloe sighs. “No, I’ve made up my mind. I’ll take the Jimmy Choo sandals.”
Looking pleased, the girl beams. “You won’t regret it.”
Chloe snorts. “Oh, I’m pretty sure I will when I open up my credit card statement next month.”