CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Motorsport Park was just as imposing as the first time I’d stood in front of it. I chewed quietly on my lower lip, the wind sharp against my teeth. I walked in once—I could do it again, right? My legs shook as I crossed the street toward the glass giant, the track nestled behind it like some surprise horror.
With any luck, I could tuck myself onto some corner bench out of the way and surprise Derrek after his breakfast with Olly. My heart skipped the closer I got, the echoes of revving engines and screeching tires slowing my pace as I grit my teeth, pushing myself forward.
The facility seemed busier than the last time. Careful to avoid anyone who might have been around on my first visit, I reached into a pocket for my phone, remembering too late that it was still missing. I grimaced, thinking about all the messages I’d missed, but the store would be in good hands with my assistant managers. I’d drop by in the evening to make sure things were all right.
Darting between small tour groups and short lines of men and women dressed almost too professionally for a race track, my eyes scanned back and forth for any corner of the expansive hall with somewhere to sit.
I jingled the keys in my pocket with one hand, practically dancing on the spot, when I noticed someone staring from a set of double doors across a shorter length of hallway. When I stopped scanning and looked back, I caught a hand poking out the end of a tailored sleeve just as whoever stood there went on their way.
I cocked an eyebrow and hastily weaved my way through a group of tourists toward the doors, throwing one open as I stumbled forward and into the stairwell beyond, but whoever it had been was already gone.
There were only three or four people I knew who’d definitely be at the track, but none who would remember me after just one meeting. I’d barely spoken to Brent and Steven when we met, and I couldn’t imagine Diana stopping in a stairwell to see me—she gave Derrek enough hell on the phone, if the last call I’d been there for was any indication. Besides, I was sure it was a man.
For as many people as there were meandering through the main hall, the stairwell was surprisingly empty, but too cold to sit for long. I turned back toward the main hall and walked until I found a wide corridor dotted with benches along one wall. They were low, the metal of them looking just as cold as the concrete of the stairs I’d just left, but at least they were away from large glass windows and would be warmer.
I fished through my gym bag and found a loose set of ear buds, frowning at my lack of music to keep me occupied while I waited. Maybe I should have gone to the gym after all.
I stuffed my hands back into my pockets as I slumped onto a bench, slouching against the wall behind it while my stomach grumbled beneath layers of outerwear. Coffee was clearly a poor breakfast option when paired with nothing. My legs jackhammered against the pristine cream floor as I counted seconds in my head, willing time to move even just a little bit faster.
There wasn’t a single clock along the hall that I could see, and my restless legs were already threatening to pound a shallow hole in the ground, so I kicked off the bench and shuffled toward the far end of the hall, around a corner.
Empty.
Whatever the few doors spaced sparingly throughout the corridor led to, they didn’t seem to be popular attractions for the track. I opened one and was met with a metallic creak that made me jump back with a grimace, the gray slab of door pounding shut in front of me. I looked around nervously, but I was still alone, and the noise in the main hall was more than loud enough to mask a heavy door thudding shut.
Inching toward it again, I pulled it open in one broad swing to reveal a lecture hall that cascaded down toward a small podium dwarfed by the massive screen hanging above it. Industry updates, up-and-coming talent profiles, sponsorship goals—just a bunch of professional development stuff.
“Thrilling…” I mumbled as I spun and let the door creak shut behind me.
There was clearly a lot more that went into professional racing than I cared to know, especially since Derrek had teased the idea that he might be done with it all.
I held on to that thought and moved on to the next set of large gray doors, moving from lecture hall to lecture hall until I found one that didn’t have a presentation queued on the screen.
It would be the perfect place to sit out of the way, and it was far enough from the track beyond the building that I couldn’t hear the same echoing revs and screeches of rubber on asphalt as I could from the street outside.
I pulled out a chair and tucked my gym bag underneath, slumping over the desk in front of me to bury my head in my crossed arms, but I was back on my feet almost immediately. I was crap at doing nothing, or maybe I felt guilty about shirking things at my store so often since meeting Derrek.
Whatever the feeling was, it had me pacing up and down aisles, poking at buttons on the podium and putting disheveled seats back in their places throughout the room. The double doors opened once or twice as I made my way through the space, but nobody stuck around longer than a few minutes, probably assuming I was a stray operations staff member doing last minute work before a presentation.
Eventually, I flopped back into my seat and pulled my gym bag onto the desk to riffle through it. I hadn’t emptied it completely before stuffing it with a fresh set of clothes and was happy to find a book tucked next to some stray deodorant.
Two witch boys who fall in love while fighting the forces of evil.
I smirked at the cover, remembering my conversation with Theo at work when Olly dropped his emotional bomb on me. Oliver was like emotional fireworks—it was never the same feeling twice, and if it was, it might not look the same. I loved that he was making an effort with Derrek after just a few days since his confession, but I was going to be worried about him until he felt more like his old self around us both.
I tapped the spine absently, turning the book in my hands before I pulled out the bookmark and flipped it open to page one.
If Olly said he’d be fine, then he’d be fine. Besides, he was right. I was in love with Derrek, and losing myself in a fantasy romance was exactly the kind of thing I needed to psych myself up enough to tell Derrek exactly what my feelings were—before the nameless thing between us swallowed us whole. He needed to know.
I needed to know.
It wasn’t many chapters into the book before I must have fallen asleep. Blinking stupidly in my seat, slumped over the book and my open gym bag, I ran my tongue over my teeth and wrinkled my nose up at the stern looking woman in uniform standing in front of the desk, a shiny silver badge glinting on her chest.
Security.
“You can’t sleep in here, sir,” she said firmly, maybe with too much excitement.
“I have literally been the only person in this room for probably a couple hours,” I replied, clearing my throat between words once or twice as I tried to wake up.
I glanced at her crossed arms and caught the time on her watch. Late morning. It had been maybe two or three hours since I’d arrived, although I wasn’t sure when exactly I’d fallen asleep reading.
“I’m not even bothering anyone,” I said, fighting a yawn.
Her stance softened as she turned and motioned with a hand for me to follow.
“Some people here are a bit…”
“Up their own asses?” I offered, seeing Diana clearly in my mind, and the security guard barked a laugh that made me jump as I gathered my things and stood up. “I can think of at least one,” I said, rolling my eyes.
“Up their own asses,” she repeated, chuckling softly as she led me back into the drab corridor. “If you know someone here, I can take you back to the info desk. You seem harmless,” she said, giving me a quick once-over, her eyes resting for a few extra seconds on the bag I slung over my shoulder as I stood.
I shrugged it off and held it out in front of me, making it clear she could check it if she had to. She waved it away and I slung it back on, moving to walk beside her as we made our way back to the main hall.
“I appreciate it,” I said, offering a smile.
“Who are you here for?” she asked, pushing a loose strand of straight black hair behind her ear before pulling a hair-band off and re-tying a tight ponytail. She was much shorter than me, but I could tell from the way she carried herself down the corridor that she’d mean business in a fight. I was immediately glad that she’d laughed at my joke about uppity patrons.
The noise level rose as we turned the last corner toward the main hall, but the frown on the security guard’s face seemed to indicate it wasn’t the same hum of activity as when I’d walked in earlier. Her shoulders tensed, and though I couldn’t make out any words, I could hear shouting that cut whatever quiet chattering remained among people passing through—and I recognized both voices.
I stopped with the security guard as we entered the main hall to see nearly everyone frozen where they stood, a small ring of people forming around Derrek and Diana in front of the information desk.
The same dark-haired girl who had greeted me on my first visit shrank back from both of them, inching her way toward the two security guards just beyond the desk, two towering men with sandy hair and tense muscles, ready to act. I thanked the guard who’d woken me up and cautiously made my way closer to the desk to join the ring of onlookers, many of whom were starting to raise their phones.
Derrek’s eyes could burn holes through steel with the way he glared at Diana, whose arms were crossed over her chest, the shoulders of her pitch black blazer pulling as she tried to maintain her stance. Derrek’s arms were balled into tight fists at his sides, the sleeves of his black leather jacket ready to tear themselves into shreds.
His entire body shook where he stood, clothes pulling tight against flexed muscles. His chest heaved with heavy breaths. It would have been incredibly hot if I didn’t think it had something to do with his shirking practice to spend time with me.
Diana uncrossed her arms and tugged at the ends of her blazer, her bright red lips stretched into an impossibly thin line. I moved around the circle to get a better look at them and caught Diana’s roving eyes as they scanned the crowd, undoubtedly calculating her next move. I sneered as I pushed my way up through the ring of people, pushing down arms with phones raised and ready as I twisted my way toward Derrek’s side.
“Send him away,” Diana spat, flicking a ruby-nailed finger toward me as I made my approach. “You have too much to make up for, no more distractions.”
She clacked a sharp heel, as if to threaten Derrek by splitting the ground in front of him just to keep him trapped. He softened beside me, the angles of his face like diamonds again instantly as he took a small step toward Diana, who was already waving her own security over from his perch along the wall.
“We’re not fucking dogs, Diana. He’s not going anywhere and you’re not about to walk away like I’ll just follow wherever you go!” Derrek thundered, his voice a harsh growl that rumbled through the room. A few of the onlookers close to him shrank back, some even starting to scatter.
“But you will,” she spat back, her teeth practically dripping venom. “You will because it’s what you agreed to, Mr. Luna, when I approached you all those years ago. Or do you think this little show will make your current sponsors happy? Any one of these videos hits the internet, you’re in trouble,” she hissed, getting close to Derrek as she pushed herself toward us.
I wasn’t sure if the threat was aimed at Derrek or the crowd. I put myself between them, letting my gym bag hit the ground as I braced myself when her security, the same man who’d witnessed my panic attack, began to move faster toward us.
“Oh, fuck you,” Derrek huffed.
I reached a hand behind my back and he gripped it with a fierce squeeze.
“I’ll see you on the track, Diana. I’ll put in whatever time needed for this next race, and then I’m finished. I’m finished with you and this whole thing,” he said, gesturing widely with his other arm. “It was supposed to make me happy, and all it ever did was get me rich and keep me away from the rest of my life. I’m done.”
“The rest of your life?” she echoed, and then loosed a cold laugh. “You didn’t have one when I plucked you out of obscurity. I gave you your life, your money, your purpose. You’ll have nothing if you walk.”
Her security—Brent, I remembered—barreled between us, scooping an arm around Diana’s waist as he ushered her away from the desk and toward the same stairwell doors I’d gone through.
“He—he’ll have me!” I shouted at her back.
She stopped for a moment, and I could almost feel the air in front of me ripple as she bristled on the spot, shaking off the sound of my voice. They continued on their way, Brent nodding at something Diana must have said under her breath before they disappeared behind the double doors of the stairwell. I could feel Derrek break his aggressive stance beside me, his grip on my hand less vise-like.
I turned to face him, his steely eyes trained on the doors beyond the desk.
“You’ll have me,” I repeated, cupping his prickly cheeks in my hands as I pulled his focus toward me.
The security guard who had walked with me was now busy dispersing the crowd, a few others entering the hall from different corridors to assist. I pulled Derrek off to one side, where we found a vacant bench and sat down. He rested the back of his head against the wall behind us, arcing his back as he took a deep breath in and stretched his legs out, digging his heels into the floor. I slid my arm around his and slumped to lean my head against his shoulder.
“I told you she fucking sucked,” I said.
“You were fucking right,” he said, his face softening until he was the Derrek I was used to seeing.
He untangled himself from my arm and hugged me over the shoulders, pulling me into him.
“What are you even doing here?” he asked. “Not that it isn’t a nice surprise.”
My lips pulled themselves into an involuntary smile and I shuffled on the spot, my legs taking turns jackhammering the ground again.
“Olly and I were talking before you got up this morning and there’s something I wanted to tell you,” I said, my chest growing tight as it became a little harder to breathe.
I rose to sit at my full height, turning to cross one of my legs on the bench so I could face him. Derrek cocked an expectant eyebrow, silent as I squirmed in front of him.
“He mentioned this look,” I said, trying to find the right words.
“A look,” he said.
“Yeah, a look. Like, this way that we look at each other,” I continued, clearing my throat.
Derrek leaned even closer to me, our noses a breath apart, and whatever air remained in my lungs vanished. He tilted my chin up with his thumb and forefinger, his brown eyes soft and hypnotic.
“This kind of look?” he whispered.
“Y—yes,” I said, my voice breaking. “And it made me, um, it made me realize that we’ve never…you know,” I rambled.
I opened my mouth to finish, but before I could speak, Derrek closed the distance between us and kissed me. He pulled my face closer, nibbling on my lower lip as he pulled away, and I lifted my arms to pull him back again.
There was a hunger in him fueled by the rage that simmered just beneath his skin, and I could feel it in his lips. They burned, and I leaned into him, wanting that fire to fill my lungs and sear the words I wanted to hear into my skin.
He pulled back and a low groan escaped me, my cheeks burning and my jeans tighter than when we’d sat down. Derrek’s eyes darted off to the side, where a small group of three or four women had stopped near us, but for a very different reason. He stood up and pulled me by the hand through a set of doors into yet another stairwell.
“You were saying?” he goaded.
“Right, yeah,” I stammered.
I looked around at the concrete steps and panels of glass that looked out into the city. No grand gestures. No romance. Just the two of us face to face in a cold stairwell as Derrek quietly bristled and failed to hide it. Impulsive decisions still weren’t me, and it showed. Surprising Derrek was a bad idea, even if I couldn’t have known that he and Diana would have a blowout in the middle of the welcome center.
If Olly was right—if Derrek and I were way past falling for each other—then saying the words out loud could wait until he was in a better head space. I’d tell him at his apartment.
“I need the keys to your place,” I blurted hastily. “For a surprise.”
“Oh. Oh?” he intoned, his eyes searching me from top to bottom, burning through the layers of my coat and sweater and jeans, and I met his quiet grin with one of my own. I wasn’t a great liar, either, but he’d given me something to work with, and I wasn’t about to admit defeat and tell him I loved him after a fight with the devil. I knew it shouldn’t matter, but it was important to me.
“Monster,” I scoffed, holding my palm open as he fished through a pocket and unhooked the key to his condo from a small key ring, resting it softly in my hand. Derrek’s fingers tickled my palm, and before I could stop him, I was pulled forward into another heavy kiss.
He planted his hands firmly on my waist, slipping one under the back of my coat to search my back, scar and all, his hand hot and strong as it pressed me even closer toward him. Our tongues were practically wrestling in each other’s mouths, slick and wet and passionate, and my hands made their way slowly forward and down as I slid my fingers from his chest to the zipper of his too-tight jeans.
I worked my palm against his swelling bulge, massaging it gently as he nibbled on my lip. My knees felt like they might collapse under me and I loosed a long, low groan.
He knew what I was going to say.
He had to know.
He jumped and grunted when his pocket began vibrating again. I sighed as our kiss was cut short, the small of my back suddenly freezing without his hand there to share heat. My hand stopped cold mid-massage and I pulled it back into my pocket, the stairwell suddenly gray and drab around us again.
Derrek yanked the phone from his pocket and sneered.
“I’m being summoned,” he spat, turning the phone for me to read a very curt text from Diana demanding he stop wasting her time.
“I’m sorry,” I sputtered.
“What the fuck for?” he shot back. “I told you she was out of line.”
“Yeah, but she wouldn’t be if I—”
“If you what?” Derrek interrupted, and I froze, my mouth flapping open and shut as I tried and failed to finish the thought. “If we weren’t together? If you’d never met me? Don’t find a way to blame yourself, Aiden. This is all her.”
He punched at his phone with sharp thuds before stuffing it back in a pocket, his eyes hungry to continue our kiss, but his heavy exhale as his eyes rested on mine told me it wasn’t going to happen.
“Tonight,” I said, moving to hug him as tight as I could before nodding toward the stairs behind him. “Don’t do anything dumb, Derrek. One more race, and then we can figure it out.”
He smiled, his pearly teeth bright and neat, and I raised an eyebrow.
“You said ‘we’,” he said, and I could feel my cheeks grow hot.
“Sure did,” I said. “Go deal with Beelzebub so you can come home and deal with me,” I said with a wink. Derrek sucked in a breath and caught the corner of his bottom lip between his teeth, shifting backwards toward the stairs, until he let it go and turned to leave.
“Tease,” he rumbled quietly. “See you later!”
I watched him skip steps to reach the top faster and didn’t move until I heard a door open and click shut again. Grinning dumbly to myself, I pulled open the doors to the welcome center and meandered my way through toward the street.
When I finally walked into Bay Window Books for the day, the key to Derrek’s place had become so hot in my hand I thought it might burn a scar into my palm.
I was closing for the night again before I knew it. I’d let everyone else off an hour earlier, not sure if I was letting nerves stall me from going to Derrek’s or if excitement had put me in a working mood.
A huge part of me wanted Derrek to show up at the store while it was empty, just the two of us, and I let that daydream carry me through the last hour of my night. With a satisfying click, I flipped the sign on the front door and turned out the lights, making my way to the back.
I rattled a few keys, and as I entered the storage room from the storefront, locking the door behind me, I felt the familiar sting of cold wind through the thin denim of my jeans.
“Seriously?” I muttered, passing shelves and cleaning supplies to find the back door wide open and rattling softly in the wind.
Someone had left it unlocked again, and nobody had mentioned it before leaving for the night. I was glad the back door opened into a quiet alley of loading zones for all the shops on some of the block. Nobody was out there in cold weather, and nobody would have heard the door rattling from the street.
I’d make sure nothing was stolen in the morning—I wanted to see Derrek, who would definitely be back at his place by the time I got there. Diana couldn’t keep him driving for six solid hours—I hoped. I shrugged on my jacket and made sure the door clicked shut with a few tugs before turning to face the cold, but the weather had other ideas.
The wind fought back as I wrestled the door into submission, but it clicked shut, and after a few extra pushes and pulls on the handle, I was sure it wouldn’t open until I unlocked it in the morning. Leaves crunched underfoot as I stepped carefully toward the street, but I didn’t take more than a few steps before I felt a heavy thud against the back of my head.
A large pair of boots swam into view as I hit the ground and did my best to look back before everything went dark.