Chapter Twenty-One

If Pete rearranged the furniture in his kitchen just so, Seth could prop himself up on the kitchen table in front of the stovetop long enough to cook some bacon and eggs. It hurt like a bitch, but seeing Pete get flustered about him cooking was pretty much worth it.

“I promise, I can make eggs,” Pete said for about the fifth time. “I don’t mind if you really want to, but…”

“You’ve been putting me up in your shack for three days now,” Seth said. “Least I can do is cook you a little bit of a meal.”

“If you’re sure,” Pete said. He hovered on the edge of Seth’s territory in front of the stove, watching him with evident worry on his face.

“Come on, I think I’ve rested enough,” Seth said. “I gotta keep my legs from wasting.”

“Whatever you say,” Pete said. He walked across the room and picked up his phone from the charger on the counter. The annoyed noise in his throat told Seth everything he needed to know.

“Marcie and Nadia still blowing up your phone?” Seth said.

“You can’t blame them for being worried about you,” Pete said. “I don’t know. You could, you know, say something to them at least.”

“I don’t have squat to say to them,” Seth said.

“Marcie and Nadia didn’t…”

“Look, Pete, my family knows what it’s doing here,” Seth said. “They’ll get all the womenfolk worked up over little old me, and they’ll try and make me look like the bad guy for being mean and not dealing with my brothers’ bullshit through them.” He carefully scraped an egg off the pan and flipped it over in the sizzling butter. “I’m done, man,” he said. “I don’t want to lay eyes on those untrustworthy sons of bitches as long as I live.”

“So, do you want me to pass that on?” Pete said, pointing to his phone. “Because they are not going to stop texting me.”

“Just block their numbers,” Seth said. He moved the bacon a little around in the pan, making sure it all got nice and crispy.

“And it’s not going to increase the crazy?” Pete said.

“It might,” Seth said. “Can you grab that plate and put some paper towels on it?”

“Sure thing.” Pete put his phone down and just about jumped across the kitchen to get the plate ready. “Babe, I...look, your family terrifies me,” he said, “and if I were in your circumstances I’d want to cut them off, too.”

Seth couldn’t help but smile when Pete called him “babe.” He took the plate from him and started scooping hot strips of bacon out of the pan onto the towel. “It’s more complicated than cutting them off,” he said.

“What,” Pete said, “once you’re in the Double Eagles, you’re in for life?”

“Basically,” Seth said.

The way Pete’s body stiffened, he obviously hadn’t meant that seriously. “Wait, what?” he said.

“That’s how it goes when you get on the wrong side of the law with people,” Seth said. “You can’t just walk away from a family like mine. Those people own you, body and soul, the rest of your life.”

“Jesus,” Pete said. “That’s no way to live.”

“Yeah?” Seth rolled his eyes. “Works just fine for the rest of my family,” he said. “Has for about fifty years now.”

“I’m not trying to put you down,” Pete said. “I’m trying to figure out what in God’s name you’re still getting out of this relationship when they treat you like you’re disposable.”

“They’re my family,” Seth said. He handed the plate of bacon to Pete. “It’s just...you know, you don’t like your mom too much, but you still need a mom.”

“Have you even talked about the possibility of, I don’t know, not doing the criminal shit anymore?” Pete said. “I mean, look. You’re already starting to go to school. You’re not happy with the way your brother’s running the business. Your brothers think you’re trying too hard to keep up.” He handed an empty plate to Seth. “It looks to me like you’re halfway out of the Club already.”

Seth put an egg on the plate and handed it back to Pete. “Whatever,” he said. He didn’t like how little anger was left in him when he thought of being out of the Club. That just wasn’t how Seth was. Being part of the Club was part of his soul, dammit, or at least it had been.

Pete traded him the egg for an empty plate again. “Just think about it,” he said. “I know better than to think I can tell you to do a damn thing you don’t want to.”

“Yeah.” Seth smiled as he turned the stove off and put the other egg on the plate. “Hey. I know you’re just trying to look out for me.”

“Trying is about all I can do,” Pete said. “You’re impossible.”

***

As far as Seth was concerned, he was killing time at a safe house until he calmed down enough to face his family again. Pete would leave for work in the morning and be out most of the day, and Seth would half-ass a chore or two in between stints of studying and playing video games.

The incident with the Corovic boys, believe it or not, had very little to do with his gradual switch from Point Command IV to Villagers. Yeah, Point Command was prime entertainment, and even six months in a wheelchair hadn’t given Seth enough down time to run through all the missions in all the campaigns.

You couldn’t set up a goddamn empire in Point Command the way you could in Villagers. Yeah, you were selling acorns and bird feeders and little animated tea sets, but that wasn’t the point. Whoever had designed this game had a real understanding of the way business worked in the real world, and they’d put an effort into making it work that way in Villagers. The game seemed to have a cute cartoon animal version of every complication and bullshit twist you could think of, and something about it was absolutely addictive to Seth.

“No, fuck you,” he was saying to the moose in the ushanka. “You booked that storage space and you’ll pay for it, my friend.”

The moose could put its head in its hooves and cry all it wanted. What was gonna happen to it in a T-rated video game that it needed to cry on him?

His phone started buzzing on the table next to Pete’s futon. Seth sighed, paused the game, and reached over to grab it.

He almost chucked it across the room when he saw his brother’s name on the caller ID. The wood stove door was cracked a little; maybe he’d make the shot.

Instead he picked it up. “What?” he said.

“What?” Cody didn’t sound any happier with him than he’d been last time. “Is that all you got to say to me?”

“I got a few things to say to you, actually,” Seth said. “After you turned your back on me and left me to die.”

“Nobody was leaving you to die…”

“Bullshit!” Seth said. “You know damn good and well I was disposable to those motherfuckers, and it didn’t matter one way or the other to you what happened to me!”

“That’s a fuckin’ weighty accusation to throw at your own brother,” Cody said. “I have done nothing since your accident but support you and help you out!”

“Accident, my ass!” Seth said. “I lost my legs saving our brother’s life in a fucking ambush…”

“Yeah, and you’re not getting them back, so stop acting like it,” Cody said. “Dad wants you to get your ass back to the Clubhouse and…”

“Man, fuck you!” Seth hung the phone up and gave into his initial urge. The phone missed the wood stove and smacked against the wall. Seth was a little disappointed that it landed in one piece.

Pete came home to find Seth in front of the sink, leaning on his walker with one arm while he scrubbed a pan with his free hand. Seth’s phone had rung seventeen times since Cody’s call, and he’d gotten more text messages than he could count.

The phone itself stayed where it had fallen on the floor.

“Hey, Seth,” Pete said as he hung his coat on the hook by the door. “I think your entire extended family has my phone number.”

“You’re getting it too, huh?” Seth said.

“Babe, something’s gotta give here.” Pete walked up to him and put a hand around his waist.

Seth sighed and bowed his head, closing his eyes for a moment. What would it be like if this was all he had? Just him and Pete, looking after each other like this?

“Yeah,” Seth said. “I...I gotta go see my folks.”

“You do,” Pete said, “but I don’t think you need to go see them right away.”

“I don’t know, Pete,” Seth said. “I just...I just want this to be over.” He opened his eyes and looked at his phone. “I want to be done. I need to be done.”

A knot was forming in his throat. He didn’t think he’d ever given serious thought to actually getting out of the Double Eagles. It wasn’t something you could really do, as far as he knew.

But if he wasn’t a Member anymore, what was he?

“I’ll drive you over there,” Pete said, “if you want.”

“No,” Seth said. “If someone gets it into his head that you’re trying to convince me to get out of the Club, you’re dead.”

“Oh.” Pete’s eyes got big for a second, and he sighed as he walked across the room to pick up Seth’s phone. “I guess that makes sense,” he said.

“Jess will take me,” Seth said. “She might not bring me back, but she’ll take me over there.”

“Don’t talk like that,” Pete said. “It’s not the end of the world. You don’t have to make any commitments. Just...just call your dad.” He handed Seth his phone.

“My dad’s not really much for phone calls,” Seth said. “I’ll have Jess pick me up and take me over there.”

***

He figured that Watty’s was a better place to meet up with his dad than the Clubhouse. Seth could at least find a way back to Pete’s place from Watty’s without getting anybody in too much trouble.

His heart still picked up speed as Jess set his wheelchair up outside her SUV. He had his jacket folded on the console next to him. He figured he was never going to have the courage to do this again, so he might as well ride the wave while it was here.

“It’s fucking cold out today,” Jessica said as she helped him out of his seat. “You sure you don’t want to wear that?”

“Just give it to me,” Seth said.

“Seth.” Jessica stepped back and looked at him with her arms crossed.

“Jessica.” Seth adjusted himself in his chair.

“Look, I know you’re pissed,” Jessica said. “I’m pissed, too, and I’m gonna stay that way for a long time.”

“Just give me my jacket,” Seth said. “What I do from here on out is my business.”

“Nothing you do is just your business, Seth,” Jessica said. “So try not to do anything too goddamn stupid.”

Seth ignored her and turned around to go into Watty’s. He opened the door on a silent, empty barroom. His father stood at the pool table, sighting a shot down his cue while his brothers looked on from their chairs.

“Nice of you to make an appearance,” his father said.

“Good afternoon, sir,” Seth said.

His father took his shot, setting off a chain reaction of clicks and thuds as the balls shifted their formation on the table. Seth approached him slowly, looking him carefully up and down as he got nearer.

“I’m shutting down the grow on Road 37,” his father said. He stood up straight and gave Seth the same cautious eyeball he was getting. “I’m putting you in charge of scoping out new facilities for the replacement operation.”

“I think I’ll pass on that, sir,” Seth said.

“You think you’ll what now?” His father closed the distance between them in three heavy strides.

Seth took a measured breath and looked his father in the eyes. “I’m here to turn in my colors,” he said. “Cody’s right. If I can’t ride, I have no place in the Double Eagles.”

“I didn’t say a damn thing of that kind and you know it,” Cody said, rising to his feet. “I can’t believe that after all we’ve done for you…”

“What, you don’t like it when people turn their backs on you?” Seth said. “Fuck you. If I can’t trust you to stand by me, I’m not going in on another job for you as long as I live.”

“Son, you need to let go of that incident,” his father said. “Your brother did everything he could to resolve that without losing any of my professional connections, and Jessica fucked that right up.”

“You weren’t there, sir,” Seth said. “Those bastards would have…”

“You will not second guess me under my roof!” His father banged the pool cue’s butt on the ground, hard enough to rattle the salt shaker on the table next to him. “I gave you a job to do, and you’re going to do it without giving me any more bullshit.”

“You think so?” Seth said.

“I said so,” his father said.

Seth picked his jacket up off his lap and dropped it on the floor in front of him. “I told you, I’m done,” he said. “You turn your back on me, I turn my back on you.”

“That’s not what happened!” Cody stepped forward and snatched the jacket off the floor. “Quit being a little bitch and take the job we’re giving you, Seth,” he said. “You don’t get to bitch about Club Rules and honor and decide you can just walk the fuck away from us…”

“You don’t have any place for me here anymore,” Seth said. “You’ve been telling me I’m in denial for all these months, and now you wanna turn around and act like everything’s fine? Like you’re gonna respect me even though I can’t ride with you?”

“You get the respect you earn,” his father said. “And right now, you ain’t earning the respect of anybody in this room…”

“I’m done trying to earn your assholes’ respect!” Seth said. “All right? It doesn’t matter what I do or what I sacrifice. You just want more, and more, and more, and you’re never gonna stop until I’m dead. This Club used my mom up and now you’re gonna do the same to…”

“You don’t know a goddamn thing about what your mother went through!” His father stepped toward him, and his brother pulled him back. “You’re not worthy to speak her goddamn name!”

“Then I’m not worthy to wear your goddamn colors, am I?” Seth said. He turned his wheelchair around and went for the door. “Fuck you. Fuck the Club…”

“Get back in here, Seth!” Nick bolted for the door after him.

“The only way you’re leaving the Club is in a body bag, you stupid piece of shit!” His father’s voice was harsh with rage.

“Dad, can you calm…”

“The fuck I’ll calm down!” his father said.

Seth got the door open and wheeled himself out onto the sidewalk. He didn’t know where exactly he was going from here, but Watty’s was no longer an option.