The smart thing would have been to leave because if I didn’t leave, her life would change, and I wasn’t sure if it was for the better. I pulled back and looked into her eyes. They were heavy with desire.

As if our lips were magnets, she pulled me in again. My tongue traced the soft fullness of her mouth and slipped inside to take more. I kissed her like she was the last thing I’d taste before I die, and if she was, I’d be satisfied.

She shuddered in my embrace. Was it from the cold or the kiss? When I wrapped my arms tight around her, I didn’t care. All I wanted was more. She was like getting a taste of my favorite ice cream. A taste wasn’t enough, and I knew if I didn’t stop now, I’d devour her.

I warred within myself. Keep her. Let her go. With reluctance, I pulled away. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come here.” I scrubbed my fingers through my hair and turned to leave.

She grabbed my arm and tugged me to the front door. “Stay,” she pleaded. “Please.”

I looked past her to the door. It was such a tempting offer. Should I say yes? Could I say no?

“It’s late.” I pulled my arm from hers and tucked my hands in my front pockets. I lowered my head because if I saw what I heard in her voice reflected in her eyes, I wouldn’t be able to leave.

“I’m up. You’re up. Let’s be up together.”

I made the mistake of looking up and seeing her eyes. The last time I’d seen anything resembling that was when my mom had stood at the Christmas pageant and watched me play St. Nick. She’d mouthed the lines I couldn’t remember the day before and that I’d hoped I wouldn’t forget that night. I had recited them with perfection, and I had been rewarded with my favorite ice cream after the play.

Oh, fuck it. I stomped up the steps and opened the door for both of us. Inside, the soft yellow glow of the lamp threw shadows against the yellow walls. Everything in here was familiar and yet it wasn’t. Ana had a way of taking shit and making it shine. Even Dad’s old desk was new again. Painted in cream and soft green with vines twining up the legs, it resembled something you’d find in a high-end store, not something that was recycled from a garage.

“I like everything you’ve done here.” I walked around the room and traced the edges of the furniture with my fingertips. The couch and tables never looked this good in my place. The old leather chair looked like a loved piece of furniture with its throw pillow positioned just right. At my place it looked like an old leather chair ready for the junkyard.

Nate called Ana Ms. Sunshine, and in a way, she was exactly that: Everything she cast her light on seemed brighter and happier. I closed my eyes and said a silent prayer that I wouldn’t dim her in any way.

“You want a glass of wine?” she asked sweetly.

“Sure, I can get it if you tell me where.”

“It’s the cheap box wine. I can’t afford the good stuff, and honestly I’m not sure I like the good stuff.” She walked to the kitchen and I followed. She opened the refrigerator and pulled out the box of Gallo Chablis. “Grab two glasses.” Her finger pointed the way, and I found two mason jars on the bottom shelf. She still didn’t have much, but for a girl who’d shown up with only clothes, a lawn chair, and a popped air mattress, I’d say she was doing all right.

A feeling of goodness filled my chest, because I knew I’d brought something of value to her life even if it was only hand-me-downs.

She pushed in the spigot and filled the jars half full before putting the box back on the top shelf.

“Where’s Grace?” I assumed she and Nate had made it back from the diner.

Ana walked from the kitchen and nodded toward the hallway. “She’s sleeping. It’s been a tough week for her.”

“Who’s the father?” Grace didn’t look pregnant yet, so she couldn’t be that far along, but the words baby and prenatal got tossed around a lot—it didn’t take a rocket scientist to understand what was going on.

“Her boss.”

I swallowed a drink of wine. “Shit. That’s not good. Is it?”

She plopped down on the couch that was made up into a bed and patted the spot beside her. All the fight I had in me had gone the moment I walked into the house. In truth, all the fight had left the minute she’d climbed into the back seat with me.

“No, it’s not good. He told her to get rid of it, but she won’t. That’s not Grace. She can overlook twelve years of Catholic school when it comes to premarital sex and birth control, but there’s no way she’d terminate her pregnancy.”

“What an asshole. I hate motherfuckers who don’t see the value of a child.” I clenched my jaw, trying not to say any more. I’d been in many homes that saw children as a commodity—a paycheck. The more the better was their motto. They collected orphans like rare coins, but instead of shining them and keeping them safe, they tarnished them and then made them feel worthless with their words and their fists.

I hadn’t realized I’d fisted up my free hand until Ana covered it with hers. “Tell me about you.”

“There’s nothing I could say that would impress you.”

Her smile was disarming. “I’m not asking you to impress me. I’m asking you to trust me and talk to me.”

It was like she could look inside my soul and see the wounds that were still bleeding.

“What do you want to know?” I leaned back on the couch and let my arm hang across the back cushions. My fingers found her hair and began to twirl it around and around.

“Let’s start with why you needed to work for me.” She moved closer until she was next to me. The sides of our bodies pressed together like peanut butter and jelly.

“I’ve got two brothers, but one has been missing since we were put in foster care. Private investigators are expensive.”

“Oh my God, that’s awful. No one can tell you where he was placed?” Her hand fell to my thigh and drew a zigzag pattern up and down the faded denim.

“Nope, the adoption was closed. Silas and I have no idea where he is, but we know our parents would have wanted us to be together.”

“Where’s Silas?” She went from drawing with one finger to rubbing my thigh with her palm. The way her hand caressed me made my dick hard.

“He’s in Afghanistan. Army. I’m hoping he comes home soon. I’m always hoping.” I twisted halfway around to face her.

“He’s the one you went to jail for, right?”

“Yep, and I’d do it again.”

“How did your parents die?” She stiffened when she asked it, or maybe it was me who turned to steel.

The subject always caused my hackles to rise. “Listen, I don’t want to talk about it, but I’ll give you the shortened version. There was a major gun battle here twenty years ago. A lot of bullets flew, and a lot of people died, including the people that used to live here. Many kids were orphaned that day, not just Silas, Decker, and me. It was a tragedy that could have been avoided.”

She curled into me. “Thanks for letting me in.”

I pulled her into my lap and crushed my mouth to hers. She took every punishing kiss like she needed them as much as I did. Our lips were glued together as her fingers worked the zipper of my hoodie. I shrugged it off and broke the kiss just long enough to pull my T-shirt over my head.

The flannel she wore was gone in seconds, and my hands were on her breasts. The very air around us crackled with need. I needed. She needed. There was a hunger that floated around us. A hunger that had to be fed. In one movement, I switched her position from on top of me to under me.

I unclasped her bra and tossed it aside. Dusky pink nipples pebbled against her milky white skin. I pulled back, looking for any sign that she wanted me to stop, but her eyes said more, and her hands tugging at the button of my jeans sealed the deal.

While I stood to remove my pants, she shimmied out of hers and lay naked on the sheet before me. I was no stranger to women, but this one was special all the way from her pink painted toenails to the puckered scar under her collarbone.

I traced it with my fingers, but she pushed me away as if it caused her pain. I knew the pain of scars that showed and those that didn’t. I stared into her brown eyes and tried to let her know that I understood.

“Are you sure?” I asked, poised above her. I didn’t know what I’d do if she denied me.

“I’m not sure about anything, but I’m not turning back. I want this. I want you.” Her voice had gone from sweet to needy. The gravelly tone sent a quiver to my dick, and my balls tightened painfully.

I pulled a condom from my pocket and slid it onto my length. I loved the way her eyes grew large as the rubber sheathed my cock inch by inch. I looked down at her with awe. She was beautiful. A tiny thing with a big attitude and a great set of tits.

I fell to my knees in front of her and pulled one tight nipple into my mouth while I rolled the other between two fingertips. I wanted to tease her forever, but it had been too long since I’d sunk myself into a woman. Ana’s moans of pleasure spurred me on, and I moved lower to taste her. When her legs fell open, I gazed at her glistening flesh and growled. But it was when I dipped my tongue into her heat and pulled her taste into my mouth that I became lost.

I feasted on her until her hands gripped my hair and she shook under my mouth.

“Oh God,” she repeated over and over until her hips bucked, and then I pulled her tight bundle of nerves between my lips and sucked. She stilled for a second and then her body exploded beneath me. I didn’t stop until she begged for it. That was a beautiful sound, Ana begging me to stop. Nirvana would be reached when she begged me to start again.

I’d thought that I’d be able to fuck her and forget her, get her out of my system. And maybe that could happen, but something told me that Ana Barrett was going to be an addiction I couldn’t kick.

One of my legs was bent next to her on the couch, and the other was on the ground. Ana’s legs were wrapped around my hips. The head of my cock danced at her entrance.

I pressed inside her. Just the tip was in, and it was nearly enough to send me over the edge. She looked up at me with passion-heavy eyes and licked her lips. Lips that I wanted wrapped around my cock some day.

Her fingers traced the bird on my chest, then lowered to my hips. She grabbed them and pulled me forward. I filled her inch by inch. Her body tensed at the intrusion.

“Let me in.” I lowered my lips to hers and kissed her softly while I plunged the rest of the way inside her. I ate up her groan and waited until she relaxed around me.

“God, you’re massive,” she whispered against my lips.

“God, you’re tight.” I pulled out and slid in and started a rhythm that she met stroke for stroke.

The couch wasn’t the ideal place for a first sexual encounter. We fucked like teenagers in their parents’ living room. Anytime I got too loud, she pulled me down and kissed me. “I don’t want to wake Grace,” she whispered.

I didn’t give a fuck about Grace, but for some reason I did care about Ana, and so I pulled in my voice and bit my lips each time I wanted to moan or groan. The pace increased, and her head snapped from side to side.

“I’m close again.” She lifted her hips and pounded upward. I adjusted my angle, hoping to hit the perfect spot to take her over the edge. The flutter of her muscles started weak but soon became like a throbbing vise around me, and there was no turning back. She stilled as the waves of pleasure silently washed over her. I stilled as my release broke free. What I experienced in that moment scared the shit out of me. A feeling of peace blanketed me, and I wanted to live inside Ana forever. I’d never known anything that good.

We lay there for a minute until my body became too heavy for her to bear. I was almost standing when she pulled me back for a kiss. “I don’t regret that. I hope you don’t either.” The softness in her eyes tugged at the space in my chest where my heart used to reside. Was it possible that Ana had planted a seed of hope that could bloom into something more?

“I won’t regret that either. It was fucking amazing.” I covered her with the blanket and found my way to the bathroom where I disposed of the condom. When I looked into the mirror, I saw a man I didn’t recognize. The man in the mirror wasn’t full of anger. The man staring back at me was full of calm.

When I returned to the living room, Ana was dressed and lying on the couch. This time she wasn’t wearing my flannel. She was wearing my T-shirt. She pulled it to her nose and inhaled, and that space in my chest filled.

“Do you want me to stay or go?” I had no idea why I even asked. I knew I needed to go before things went too far. Staying here would only make things worse. I didn’t do attachments. I didn’t need complications. My life was a shit storm, and I didn’t want to bring anyone else into the eye of the disaster.

“No, stay with me for a while.” She scooted as far back into the couch cushions as possible, making as much room for me as she could. I pulled on my jeans and went to her. I was a big man and took up the whole couch and then some. So instead of crushing her into the corner, I picked her up and laid her on my body. Her cheek rested on my chest cradled perfectly by my hawk’s wings.

I rubbed my hands up and down her back. “Where did you get that scar?” It was an odd scar, much like my own, only there was no exit wound.

Her fingers reached up to trace mine. “I was in a car accident when I was little. A truck lost its load of rebar, and my family suffered the disaster. My parents died instantly. I was lucky, I guess, because it only went through one side of me.”

I squeezed my hands against her, pulling her tighter into my chest. I knew the pain of losing parents. “I’m sorry for your loss.”

She reached up and pulled the blanket from the back of the couch over both of us. “Weird that we were both orphaned so young.”

Nothing surprised me any more. “Yeah, Nate was telling me about some article that said orphans struggled with relationships. Guess that’s why I’m twenty-eight and still single.”

“You too? Grace told me about that same study.” Ana wormed her body around until she was comfortable. “Weird.” A few minutes later, her breath became slow and shallow. I held her for several hours before I slipped out from under her and quietly made my way to the door. I took one last look over my shoulder at the woman who made me feel something other than rage, and I knew I was in deep shit.