Brooklyn

Molly’s house is quiet when I let myself in later that evening. The lack of sleep over the past few days is starting to catch up to me, but I need a night with my friend to figure things out.

The instant I step into the kitchen, Molly rounds the corner from the den, her eyes filled with a myriad of emotions. I expect her to hound me for information about what’s going on between Drew and me, assuming he told her we spent yesterday together, but she doesn’t. Instead, she heads toward me and wraps her arms around me tightly.

“I’m so happy you’re here.” Her voice catches. “I was worried we wouldn’t be friends anymore.”

“Oh, Molly.” I return her hug, rubbing her back. “We’ll always be friends. Nothing will come between that.” I pull back and meet her eyes.

I’ve been so wrapped up in my indecision regarding Drew and Wes, I never stopped to consider Molly. She reached out to me several times this week, yet I didn’t respond to any of her calls or texts. I assumed she’d want to talk about Drew. Never did I think she was worried about our friendship.

“Promise,” I add.

“Pinky swear?” She lifts her pinky, just like we used to during our adolescence when we’d agree not to go after the same boy. It was never a difficult thing to ask of me. Her brother was the only boy who interested me.

“Pinky swear.” I hook my pinky with hers, giving her a reassuring smile.

Our fingers remain linked for several moments before she releases her hold on me. “Come on. There are drinks and food in the den. Your text came at the perfect time. Noah’s on call, so he’s sleeping at the facility tonight.”

She heads into the den and I follow, sitting on the couch beside her, pouring a glass of wine from the bottle of cabernet she’d opened. I sip on the liquid as I try to figure out what to say. Earlier, I would have loved to have a mother to discuss what was going on. All throughout my life, Molly was the only person I could talk to about everything... Well, almost everything. I never talked to her about Drew. During our younger years, it was because I didn’t want her to tease me. Now that we’re adults, I’m worried I won’t get the neutral opinion I crave when faced with a life-altering decision.

“I really am sorry, Brook.” Molly’s voice cuts through my thoughts.

I snap my eyes to hers. Just over her shoulder, I spy a framed photo on the side table. The same photo of Drew, Molly, and me as kids that sits on my coffee table. I wonder if this is another instance of the universe reminding me of how deep and profound my history with Andrew Brinks is, that I shouldn’t throw it away because of a mistake he made when he was eighteen. I’ve made my fair share of mistakes, too. Would I want someone to hold a grudge against me for years because of those?

“What are you sorry about?”

“Everything.” She shakes her head, taking a moment to compose her thoughts. “I always knew there was a connection between you and Drew, but never in a million years...” She trails off, her lip quivering as her emotions overtake her once more. “If I had known, I never would have teased you about dating him all these years.”

“It’s okay. You didn’t know. But now...” I pause, considering the situation. For so long, I’d made it my mission to keep the past a secret. I refused to let all the heartache Drew caused define me. Maybe that’s not such a bad thing. “I’m glad you do.” Our eyes lock so she can see the truth in my words, then I take a long sip of my wine.

“He’s an idiot, if you ask me,” Molly states. “The doctors warned him about potential memory complications from the number of concussions he’s suffered. He knew alcohol would only impair his memory even more. They told him not to drink like that. I’m sorry you’re the one who had to suffer because of his stupidity.”

I swallow hard. I’ve had a lot of time to think lately. As angry as I want to be at Drew, I can’t blame him, not when I hold some of the blame, too. “I could have told him the truth.”

Molly regards me thoughtfully, her eyes pensive as she considers my words. “No, you couldn’t,” she says finally.

“Wha—”

“I know you, Brooklyn. One of the many things I love about you is that you are my polar opposite. That’s why we’ve always gotten along so well, why we’ve stayed friends our entire lives when other people have grown apart. Not us. And because we’ve been inseparable the past three decades of our lives, I know things about you most people never would...even Drew. If I were in your shoes, you know damn well I would have told the prick exactly what happened. In explicit detail. Hell, I probably would have embellished a little and added sound effects for good measure.” She waggles her eyebrows, smiling mischievously. My laughter fills the space and I’m thankful for the break in tension.

“But that’s not who you are.” Her voice turns sincere as my smile fades. “Your entire life, you’ve put other people’s needs ahead of your own. So when you overheard Drew talking to Carla, you figured you had only one option. It didn’t matter what you wanted. As much as it pained you, you did what you thought was best for Alyssa and the baby on the way. It’s what you’ve been trained to do in your line of work.”

I hang my head, biting my lip, nodding.

“When are you going to start doing what’s best for you, Brooklyn?”

Her question hits me hard, almost knocking the breath out of me. I shoot my eyes to her, blinking repeatedly. “What do you mean?”

“I understand why you feel your relationship with Wes is the right thing. I get it. He’s dependable, committed, devoted to you. Even better, he’s never hurt you.”

I raise my wine glass to my lips to hide my quivering chin. It takes everything I have to keep from breaking down, from sobbing into her chest and telling her how much I want Drew but the past is holding me back.

“I don’t know...” She’s contemplative as she stares at the ceiling, shaking her head. “If I’d secretly been in love with someone as long as you’ve loved Drew and he constantly took advantage of me, I’d probably write him off, just like you tried to do. But that’s the difference between us. I would have written him off, regardless if he was my best friend’s brother. Not you. And now...” She squints as she observes me, seemingly trying to read the thoughts circling my mind.

“I’m scared to death I’ll never find anyone else like him,” I say when I can no longer take her scrutiny, the truthfulness of my words surprising me. “Worse, I’m scared I don’t want to.”

Blowing out a breath, Molly wraps her arms around me, pulling me against her. All it takes is one show of compassion and the floodgates open, my tears spilling down my cheeks. It feels good to let it all out, to not have to keep it in and pretend everything is okay.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do,” I confess. Now that I’ve finally given voice to these concerns instead of allowing them to fester, a weight’s been lifted. “My heart burns for Drew, but my head...” I trail off.

“Remembers all the times he made you feel invisible,” Molly finishes.

“You have no idea what it was like. Every time I was at your house after he left for college, I could still smell him there. And when he came home on breaks...” I shake my head, transported back to those days. I’d never felt more invisible in my life than when I was at Molly’s house and he walked right past me, not saying a word, not even acknowledging my presence. A part of me wants to tell Molly about that summer, as well, but it’s too hard, too raw.

“You’re right. I don’t know what it was like.” Sympathy covers her expression as she rests her hand on my bicep, squeezing. “And I can’t tell you what to do now. I can’t even attempt to empathize with what you’re going through.” A thoughtful look lights up her face. “But I can tell you what a wise person once told me when I was unsure of the path I should take.”

“Oh yeah?” I swipe at my tears, knowing all too well this will entail yet another one of Aunt Gigi’s pearls of wisdom. “And what’s that?”

“If this doesn’t scare you, it’s not love.”

I lift my gaze to hers, my chin trembling. “And if it does?”

She shrugs, giving me a knowing look. “Then maybe you have your answer.”

I lean back into the couch. Molly places her arm around my shoulders, kissing the top of my head, her gesture soothing. “No matter what I do, someone ends up hurt.”

“Or two people.”

My eyes meet hers. “How so?”

“You’re thinking about everyone else again. You’re not even taking yourself into consideration. You think you’ll hurt either Wes or Drew, but you never even stopped to consider your decision may hurt you, as well.”

I stare straight ahead, pondering her words. They’re alarmingly accurate. “So I should choose the safe bet.”

“That’s not what I’m saying.”

“Then what are you saying?” I sit up, looking at her.

With a sigh, she smiles. “What I’m saying is people shouldn’t be forced to pay for their mistakes for the rest of their lives. People change. You see that on a daily basis. How many cases have you had where the mother or father completely turned their lives around to give their kids a better chance?”

I shrug, averting my gaze. “A lot.”

“It sucks it took state involvement to make them finally open their eyes, but at least they had the opportunity to make things right. What is it you always say when people ask why you spend the time you do developing action plans for families?”

“Everyone deserves a second chance,” I answer as a voice in the back of my head reminds me of all the chances I’ve given Drew over the years. Can I find it in my heart to give him one more?

“I know this isn’t an easy situation,” Molly says as I sip my wine. “And I know you don’t think Drew ever noticed you, but he has. He put everything on the line for you.”

“I wish I could believe that was true, but he’s never sacrificed anything for me. Not like I’d have to in order to be with him.”

Molly opens her mouth, then snaps it shut, worrying her lower lip.

“What is it?” I can’t help but think she’s keeping something from me.

“It’s not my story to tell. But trust me when I say things aren’t as they appear.” Her expression turns severe. “Some things were out of his control.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You know how you didn’t tell Drew about that night?”

I nod, guilt bubbling in my stomach.

“Why?”

“There were a lot of reasons.”

“But one of them was to protect him, right?”

I nod again, the motion almost imperceptible.

“Well, he’s done the same. I’m not so sure I agree with it, but I can see where he’s coming from. Just like you, he was faced with a choice, and no matter which he chose, he would lose something he cared about.”

“What did he lose?” I ask, unsure I want to know.

She contemplates an answer, then shrugs. “Everything.”