CHAPTER SIX
Alessandra
NOT BEING ABLE TO sleep, I slide off the bed and find a clean pair of panties, shorts, and pull a t-shirt off the floor over my head. Crossing my arms hiding my hard nipples, I look outside for Machete keeping watch on me. There’s nobody, and the hallway is dark. Slipping out I quickly shut the door, so Rocky can’t get out and tiptoe down the hall. The sound of moaning coming from a room in passing. Sounds… interesting.
Coming to the bar, I step behind it and grab a bottle of tequila and a shot glass. The floor is sticky and grimy beneath my feet, and it smells like cigarettes and perfume.
“Make that two?”
I jump in panic, falling into the line of liquor sitting on the shelf behind me. Jillian sits on a barstool at the end of the bar concealed in the dark. The only light coming from a couple of neon signs hanging on the wall around us.
“You scared the shit out of me!” I huff, and she smiles.
“Sorry, Zeek woke me up for sex and now I can’t sleep,” she informs matter of fact. “But from the sound of it, I think both of us got lucky,” she winks, and I quickly look down at the bar for that second shot glass. I don’t know what Felix and I did, or what it means. I don’t want to think about it either. “Oh, I see. Not going to give me the details?”
“There’s nothing to tell,” I reply sharply.
“Mhhm,” she responds cheekily. Pouring her a glass I slide it over to her and she catches it.
“Just shut up and drink,” I sass, pouring my own shot. Downing my shot it burns all the way down, and I’m hoping it works fast as I want the voices in my head to shut up.
“I’m just saying if you did… I get it. These men are a force you can’t deny. Trust me.” She shakes her head, sliding the glass back over to me.
“I’m just doing some business with him,” I tell her and this piques her interest, anything to get her off the whole sex thing. She won’t get it because I don’t get it.
“My dad… wasn’t really my dad apparently.” Jillian gasps, covering her mouth. “I am just trying to get some answers about him, who he was, how he died. All of it,” I tell her, my eyes focused on the granite bar as I ramble what is on my mind.
“I am at a loss for words,” she mutters.
“Makes two of us,” I reply, pouring another glass and pounding it back. Leaning across the bar, I stare at my best friend, someone I trust more than anyone in the world. “But I think finding out the truth is going to do more than I think,” I tell her, my eyes glossing over.
“What do you mean?” she tilts her head to the side. Sighing, I dig my nail into a chip on the bar.
“I don’t know,” I mumble. “Being here I feel… like a side of me I never knew existed is being pulled from the grave if that makes sense.” I raise a brow at her and she looks at me confused.
“Forget it,” I shake my head trying to muster a smile. “I’m just tired and over-thinking things.”
“Well, fucking an outlaw will do that to ya,” Jillian retorts. Rolling my eyes I slide out from behind the bar and flip her off.
“Goodnight,” I state.
“Hey Alessandra, is he a cock-a-saurous Rex?” she winks, taunting me. Her and I used to laugh back in the day about Zeek having a dick the size of a Rex, so of course she would flip it around on me.
Walking back to my room I can’t help but laugh and yell, “Bigger!”
It true, it’s taking everything I have not to waddle when I walk, he fucked me so good.
Climbing back into bed, I stare at the wall nibbling at my bottom lip. It was a one-night stand, a moment of weakness obviously. The bedroom door opens and shuts, the familiar smell of Felix filling the room. I close my eyes and pretend to be asleep, hoping the bed dips and he lies next to me. Seconds that feel like minutes pass and I don’t hear or feel anything so I slowly look over my shoulder finding Felix sitting on the floor with his head leaned back against the door.
He looks tormented, but sexy. It’s got to be that sexy man bun and beard that bring me to my knees. He’s so rugged, and rough looking I crave his rough touch.
He stirs and I quickly roll back over, making sure to moan and hike the blanket up my thigh a little. What can I say? I’m a tease.
***
Rolling over I glance at the door where I last saw Felix last night. He had his head leaned back and was sleeping against the door. It was like watching a lion at rest. He seemed peaceful, but intimidating at the same time. Rubbing at my collarbone I wonder what the events of last night mean, if they mean anything. Rubbing my thighs together I feel sore, beautifully sore.
I am used to having random hook-ups, but last night there was something different about it.
Like there was so much hate and tension built up that you couldn’t help the heat bonding us together.
What am I saying, Felix will never be with a cop.
Sighing, I slide out of bed and shuffle through my bag for some clean clothes. I’ll change into my uniform at the department, as I don’t want to get the club riled up wearing it here. Standing up straight I suddenly notice Rocky isn’t in here. I wonder if Felix took him when he woke up. I hope he’s with someone responsible.
Walking into the bathroom I notice the counter is spotless as everything was randomly tossed on the floor from the throes of last night. Images of Felix and me together flash behind my eyes and my nipples suddenly ache from the reminder. Shaking my head of the memories, I tip my head over and pile my brown hair into a messy bun as I don’t want to fish the hairbrush out of the trashcan. Raising my head, I notice the mirror is split from our tryst, showing two sides of me and I don’t think it’s a coincidence. I feel different being around the criminals, and maybe that’s why Felix’s statement about not being so different hit me so hard.
Like my urge to snap someone’s neck when they’ve hurt a child instead of take them into custody. The way I don’t see drugs as being terrible and experiment myself. These are parts of me I don’t understand and feel that aren’t normal. I’ve known that my whole life, but have refused to acknowledge the difference between me and others. My urge to sin, have fun, and live wild are becoming hard to ignore being around the side that lives free and by their own laws.
Stepping outside the room, Dolly and Gia come out of a room across from me. Their clothes are disheveled, and their makeup is running down their face like Popsicles left out in the sun too long.
“My ass is so sore from fucking Felix,” Gia whines, and my heart falls from my chest hearing her say that.
“That’s nothing, I saw Machete fuck someone with the handle of his ax last week,” Dolly laughs and cringes. I bite my inner cheek as I click the door shut behind me, thus gaining their attention.
“Oh, we didn’t see you there,” Dolly plays innocent. I give a tight-lipped smile, acting as if I’m indifferent to whatever they’re getting at.
Continuing my way down the hall Gia grabs my forearm, her grip tight. My eyes slowly fall to her hand, and I can’t help but notice it reeks of rancid pussy.
“Don’t get any ideas about Felix, he’s claimed, honey. Besides, no cop has any business here,” she sneers.
“You were just the thrill of the chase, sweetheart,” Dolly states.
“An easy chase at that,” Gia laughs, letting me go.
My breathing picks up as I feel like I’m in high school all over again. Glaring at Dolly, I eye her dark eyes from where I elbowed her the other day.
“Nice eye shadow,” I insult, and her nostrils flare with hostility. Head held high I continue my way through the club, fighting back tears. I don’t know why I feel so hurt, I didn’t have sex with Felix expecting anything. Yet, this weight on my chest is crushing.
On the couch sits Machete and Rocky. Machete is feeding him jerky and ruffling up his puppy hair around his face. Rocky seems happy, as Machete does too.
“There you are,” I half laugh, half choke on emotion.
“Oh yeah. He was scratching to get out this morning, so I let him out. I hope that’s okay?” Machete informs.
I nod. “Yes of course. Thank you.” Only a crazy person would disagree with him, especially hearing what he did with the handle of his ax.
“Hey baby, you look like you could use some coffee this morning?” Carola suggests from behind the bar.
“Coffee? You have coffee?” I ask with more gusto than I intended. She laughs and turns around grabbing a mug.
“How else do you think I get through the day with these boys? Then again, I do add whiskey to mine.” She laughs to herself, before planting a mug of hot coffee on the counter.
Cupping it with both hands, I take a sip. It’s black, which isn’t usually my go-to, and it’s hot. I like iced coffee, with lots of sugar but I wouldn’t ever turn down a cup of joe. Coffee is a liquid hug.
“Hey, you working today?” The familiar voice of Felix tears down my spine like the claws of a cat. Placing the cup down, I turn on my heel, avoiding eye contact.
“Yeah, I can take myself,” I inform. The way he fucked me like he couldn’t get enough, and then couldn’t get away fast enough isn’t lost on me. I feel used, and hate how attracted I am to him.
“How are you going to do that, your car is at your place. Remember?” He tilts his head to the side, trying to look me in the eye.
“I’ll walk or something,” I mutter pushing passed him.
Outside the weather is cloudy but warm, the smell of rain is thick in the air.
“What the fuck is your problem?” Felix barks from behind me. I scoff, is he serious?
“I don’t have a problem, I just think we need to stay away from each other is all,” I insist, not bothering to stop and talk to him. We’re just a sweet disaster waiting to happen.
He wraps an arm around my waist, stopping me in my tracks.
“Whoa! What’s with the fucking tone?” his brows furrow.
“Don’t give me that shit!” I snap, and his eyes widen like I slapped him. “I’m not stupid, I know what last night was, and I’m a big girl I can handle it. What I don’t appreciate is you fucking me, and then literally going and fucking the club whore right after!” I point at the club’s door and his jaw ticks, his shoulders tensing beneath his cut.
“I’m sorry, was there fine print somewhere that said once I fuck you? That I’m to be monogamous to a cop?”
Heat flaring to unbearable lengths my hand slips from my waist and lands right across his face.
His head whips to the side and catcalls sound from the clubhouse.
“I’m just the cop, remember? So stay the fuck away from me!” My throat clogs with emotion, tears wanting to spill their heart out. I can’t believe I let him get to me.
“What the fuck is going on out here?” Zeek roars, stepping out of the clubhouse. His eyes land on me and Felix and I look away.
“I need a ride to work,” I mutter, not addressing the situation between Felix and I. Zeek looks between Felix and I catching on to the tension between us.
“Bomber Jack will take you in the SUV,” Zeek clips dryly. His eyes boring into Felix like he wants to strangle him. For what, I don’t know but I want to do the same right now. Maybe because Felix wasn’t supposed to sleep with me, or maybe he hid his attraction toward me from his president.
“Great,” I whisper softly making sure to avoid eye contact with Felix.
Sliding into the leather passenger seat I can’t help but glance back at Felix in the mirror. Zeek is yelling at him and pointing at the clubhouse. He must have done something pretty bad, as I’ve never seen Zeek yell at him before. Felix’s face is red, his hair blowing in the wind as his eyes focus on the SUV like he can see me staring at him.
Leaning my head back on the headrest, Bomber Jack climbs in talking about something, but my head is somewhere else to really listen. I need more coffee. I need away from the outlaws actually.
Looks like Felix and I are back to where we were.
Hating one another.
Like it’s supposed to be.
Cop and outlaw.
Felix
“What the fuck? Tell me what I think happened, didn’t happen!” Zeek barks at me like a disobedient child. It pisses me off. Puffing my shoulders out I get right in his face. He’s my president, but he’s also my fucking cousin. My blood. I think he forgets we grew up together.
“What?” he juts his chin, silently challenging me. Everyone is surrounding us, hoping we break out in a fight. If I didn’t have so much respect for him, I’d fight his ass right here.
“Who I stick my dick in doesn’t concern you,” I spit back, turning away I head to my bike.
Zeek steps in my way, his boots scuffing against the concrete.
“It does when it’s in my clubhouse. It does when it concerns my ol’ lady.” He points to himself. Jillian will be more than furious if I hurt Alessandra, and will bitch to Zeek. “But most of all what about all the shit you gave me about fucking a sheriff!”
My brows furrow, remorse not settling well within my bones. I did give him shit, and I still will.
“You don’t think I feel like a disloyal bastard screwing around with her? Huh?” I shout, my brows furrowing as my gut knots from the betrayal setting heavy on me.
Zeek shoves me, and I shove him back just as he throws my hands off of him. Nose to nose, I can feel the heat radiating off him, the eyes staring at us to see who will throw a punch.
Truth is I can’t make this right, I fucked Alessandra and knew when I did I was handing over more than my dick.
“She’s more than a fucking cop, she just doesn’t know it yet,” I counter, my own words surprising me.
“Yeah, I get that but why haven’t you told her?”
I shake my head, rubbing the hair lining my chin. I can’t tell her. I feel like she needs to find out who she is before I give her the answer. I’ve seen what Alessandra is capable of by a glimpse of her past. She’s lost and I’m the reaper that’s willing to show her the dark side. The tips of her white angelic wings are dipped in black, she just needs to be held under to fully commit to her inner demons.
Zeek growls, slamming his fist into the side of the shed next to where we park our bikes.
“This won’t end well, brother,” he replies softly. “She has baggage,” he mutters and my head snaps in his direction.
“This is your fucking fault to begin with. If you wouldn’t have made me a goddamn babysitter and stuck to the bylaws of an outlaw, I wouldn't have gotten close to Alessandra and seen her for something more than a snitch. But you did, and now I’m all fucked up!” I roar, pointing to my head. The shit in my head is not well. The urge to hurt Alessandra and care for her all in one, not normal. To feel her delicate skin, then tear into her like I hate her. It’s an impulse I have to control every time I’m near her.
Looking down I sigh.
Suddenly Gia appears smoking a cigarette outside with a Red Bull in her hand. Pushing past Zeek I stomp toward her. Pissed she went and told Alessandra I fucked her, done with her fucking claiming ass.
Coming up to her I knock the Red Bull right out of her hand, and her eyes snap to mine in panic.
“What the fuck?” she snaps angrily.
Slamming my hands into the wall, a hand on each side of her head I get right in her face.
“Stay away from Alessandra or your ass is gone, do you understand me?” I sneer, and her eyes widen.
“But—”
“We’re done,” I ground out between clenched teeth, taking a step back I eye her like the slut that she is and shake my head.
I need to find Alessandra and set shit straight. She will listen, or I will fucking make her.