Ian.

He’s in my dream.

Looking around, we’re in the lobby of my office building. I can see people working out in the gym. The girl behind the counter at the coffee shop is the same girl that took my order this morning. Justine and Allison are giggling to each other as they walk past the windows to the gym, pointing at someone.

A few minutes pass as Ian sips his coffee. Suddenly he pulls his hat lower on his head, covering his eyes, and averts his attention toward the table.

There I am. With Ryder. We’re holding hands as we walk through the lobby laughing. I look happy. I can see us, but I can’t hear us. I’m standing next to Ian as he watches from the cafe.

He’s watching me, waiting for the right moment to approach.

I can hear what Ian’s thinking and it scares me. He wants to hurt Ryder. He wants to take me back. He thinks I still love him and he blames Ryder for tearing us apart.

He doesn’t understand that he was the problem. He’s still pointing blame. He’ll never see it.

Ryder and I step into the elevator. As soon as the doors close, Ian tosses his coffee in the trash and heads toward the exit.

“I will get her back. No matter what it takes,” he says aloud to himself.

Why won’t he let go? Why can’t he see that I don’t love him anymore? I love someone else.

* * *

Waking with a start, I look around the room and get my bearings. I’m at Angela’s. I’m alone. My heart is racing and tears are streaming down my face. What the hell scared me?

Glancing over my shoulder, I check my alarm. It’s almost six o’clock in the morning.

Tossing and turning for the next hour I attempt to remember my dream. As hard as I try, nothing comes back to me, so I give up on sleep and roll out of bed. Two cups of coffee later, my phone chimes with an incoming text message.

“What has you smiling this early in the morning?” Angela groans as she makes her way to the coffee maker.

Was I smiling? I didn’t realize.

“Nothing.”

“My ass. Who were you texting with?”

“It was just Ryder. He’s picking me up for dinner tonight. What are you wearing?” I ask, attempting to change the subject.

“Probably my short, white and black striped dress. What about you?”

“I only have one black dress that fits right now. I bought it for Ian’s thing last week.”

“That’ll be perfect, then. The place is pretty swanky. I’ve only been there once, and I was afraid to look at the check.” Laughing, Angela blows across the surface of her coffee attempting to cool it. “So Ryder, huh? How’s that going?”

“Nowhere,” I state firmly.

“Why not? You’re single. He’s single.”

“I also work for him, Ang. You know that would be a horrible idea. Why are we even discussing this again?”

“So don’t work for him anymore. Talk to Herman tonight about switching you to a different department.”

“Sure. I’ll just tell him that I find his son attractive and that it’s hard to control myself around him and he’ll agree to find a different position for me. And I’ll do this in front of Ryder. That sounds like a genius plan,” I remark as I roll my eyes.

“I’m not saying you confess that you have the hots for Ryder, especially not in front of him. I just think that if you want to pursue something with him that you should think about talking to Herman about changing departments. You can work for Tyler instead of Justine. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind.”

“I don’t have the hots for Ryder,” I defend.

“Whatever you say, Em. I’ve known you long enough to know when you are lying to me and to yourself.” Walking out of the kitchen, Angela peeks her head back around the corner to put her final two cents in. “Plus, I’m pretty sure he has the hots for you too judging by the look on his face when I ‘interrupted’ you two the other day.”

Angela smiles when I flip her off before disappearing again, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

She has a valid point. I would be lying to myself if I didn’t admit that I like Ryder as more than just my boss. He’s sexy as hell and charming to boot. I’m not sure what I would have done if he kissed me, but my gut says I would have enjoyed every second of it.

When my phone chimes again, I feel myself grin before I even look at my phone.

Cue the horror music. My smile is lost and my head begins to pound. This has to stop. I can’t do this anymore. I don’t want to.

He said that if I walked away from him we were done. If he really felt that way, he wouldn’t be messaging me. He needs to let me go, but I don’t think he knows how.

When he doesn’t reply after a few minutes, I pray that he gets the message. We’re over. There’s no chance that we’re getting back together. He can try to convince me all he wants, but he’ll never change.

Angela convinces me to spend the morning at the spa with her. When I agreed, I didn’t realize that she meant after the gym. I’m sweating more than I’ve ever sweat before and aching in places that shouldn’t ache. Thankfully she’s booked us each a massage. I’m going to need it if I plan to walk without looking like an idiot in the near future. Especially tonight, in heels, at the swanky dinner that I’ll be attending with my boss. Mr. Sexy Pants.

I gave him a nickname.

It’s a stupid one, but it’s how I’ll now refer to him when I talk about him in my head from now on. I’d never call him that to his face or admit to anyone I gave him that name.

It’s for me and me alone.

Mr. Sexy Pants.

My boss. My date for the night. The one who’s knocking on my door right now, and I’m not ready yet.

Angela lets Ryder in on her way out. Tyler called and asked her to stop by before she headed to the restaurant. There was a sly grin on her face before she scurried out the door. It wasn’t until I stepped into my dress that I realized why.

Holding my dress against my chest, I peek around the corner into the living room. I’ve zipped it up as far as I can, but I need help, and Ryder is my only option.

“Hey,” I say, smiling at him.

“Hey. Are you ready?”

“Almost. Can you help me with my dress, please?” My cheeks heat as I say the words.

Smiling, Ryder stands, dropping his cell phone on the couch and heads over to where I’m hiding in the hallway.

“Thanks. I got it as far as I could but I have short arms.”

“No problem,” he replies, the zipper slowly moving higher and higher. “Nice tattoo.”

Squeezing my eyes closed, I pray he doesn’t ask any more questions right now. That’s a topic for another night. Or, maybe not. How do you tell your boss about the one night in college you let yourself drink too much and thought it would be a great idea to tattoo your zodiac sign on your shoulder blade?

You don’t tell him. You don’t want him to think you’re irresponsible, or a drunk.

Turning, I smile at Ryder, nodding. “I’m ready,” I announce, louder than necessary. My nerves are getting the best of me.

Extending his elbow, I wrap my hand around it, attempting to keep our bodies as far apart as possible. When I glanced around the corner to ask for help, my jaw almost hit the floor. Ryder’s wearing a black suit with a white shirt underneath and a black bow tie. I’ve seen him in a suit before, but this is different. Maybe it’s because he was sitting on my couch, maybe it’s because of the bow tie, either way, he looks sexier than normal. If that’s even possible. I mean, I’ve seen him with his shirt off, and the way he looks right now is making it hard to breathe.

Ryder is the perfect gentleman. He holds doors open for me, helps me in his truck, and drives like a saint. I’m starting to relax slightly as we jump on the highway, our conversation all business until it takes a sharp turn into dangerous territory.

“So you’re living with Angela. I thought you lived with your boyfriend.”

“I did,” I reply, directing my attention out the window without elaborating. Maybe he’ll take the hint that this is a topic I don’t want to discuss.

“And now you live with Angela. When did you break up?”

Nope. He’s not catching on. Or, if he is, he’s not letting the topic go.

“Last week.”

Ryder keeps probing me for information and I keep my answers short. One or two words. I’m not rude, I just don’t want to discuss my personal life with my boss, even if we are outside the normal working hours.

“I’m sorry,” he finally says as he pulls into the parking garage behind the restaurant.

Looking around, I see plenty of parking spaces. I could have driven myself. There was no real reason for Ryder to pick me up other than the fact that he wanted to.

“For what?” I ask as he shifts his truck into park.

“For prying into your life. I want to get to know you better, but it’s obvious that you don’t want to talk about your boyfriend.”

“Ex-boyfriend,” I reply quickly, correcting him.

“Yeah, him.”

“It’s fine, it’s just recent and raw and I’m still not ready to talk about it with anyone. Not even Angela. And talking to you about it feels weird.”

“Why’s that?”

“You’re my boss, Ryder. Do you talk to all your employees about their personal lives?”

“Only the ones I care about,” he replies softly, exiting the cab of the truck before I have a chance to ask what he means.

Silence falls between us as we make our way into the restaurant. We’re the first to arrive which doesn’t surprise me. If Angela was stopping at Tyler’s before dinner, she’s going to be late. I’m surprised Herman wasn’t here to greet us, though. He strikes me as the type of person who shows up early, before anyone else, no matter what time of day or what the occasion is.

Ryder orders us a bottle of wine, white, which surprises me. Everyone I know prefers red wine.

“I’m sorry. I should have asked what kind you like,” he says after the waiter pours us each a glass.

“No, it’s fine. I like pinot grigio. It’s actually my favorite,” I admit.

“Mine too. The rest of my family likes red wine, but it’s too dry for me.”

“Angela and I have fought about this same thing before. She’s a fan of red as well.”

“She and Tyler really are made for each other, aren’t they?”

“I guess,” I reply, taking a sip of water while we wait.

Looking around the restaurant, I spot Angela walk through the front door. I raise my hand to wave when her date for the evening appears from behind her. Either Herman looks really good for his age or he ditched her tonight.

Standing, Ryder greets Ang and Tyler. He’s less surprised to see his brother than I expect. As they take a seat across from us, I gently kick Angela under the table. We’ve played this game before. This is our silent code.

When she smiles at me but makes no attempt to get up, I kick her again. Harder this time, causing her to grimace. I need answers and she’s going to give them to me right now.

“I’m going to use the restroom before we order,” I announce, the pitch of my voice slightly elevated, giving away the fact that I’m lying.

Ryder slides out of the booth and helps me up. Angela nudges Tyler to let her out as well.

Once we’re safely in behind the doors of the restroom, I begin pestering Angela with questions.

“What the hell, Ang? Why is Tyler here with you? This feels more like a double date than a business dinner.”

“I guess Herman thought Tyler and I would have more fun tonight. He’s not wrong, you know. We’re going to have a great time.” Angela bends down and inspects her shin. There’s a tiny red mark where I kicked her, but she’ll survive. I’ve kicked her harder before.

“But this feels like a date now!” I practically scream at her, my voice echoing off the walls of the empty bathroom.

“It’s not a date, Em. Sure, he picked you up. Yes, he’s paying for everything. Just relax and enjoy the evening. It’s not like you have to take him to bed after.” Angela laughs at her comment as she fixes her hair.

“I can’t believe you just said that,” I remark, making eye contact with her in the mirror. The smirk she’s been sporting lately is plastered across her face.

“Why? Because now you’re thinking about what it would be like?” she retorts, turning the faucet on to wash her hands.

Yes. That’s exactly why. I won’t admit that to her, but now I’m thinking about it. If this were a “real” date with Ryder, I’d be thinking about how the night would end until it was over. Sadly, I’m going to be disappointed tonight.