Chapter Eighteen
Chanel
I paused, my fingers around the door handle of the deli, inhaling, trying to calm my nerves. I’d been preparing myself all morning for this meeting. Hell, I’d been trying to prepare myself for a week.
Once I’d gotten the return email from Ethan saying he was free the following week, I’d agreed to meet him and see what he wanted. There I was, ready to talk to the man I’d once thought I was going to spend my life with, but now hadn’t seen in five years. A man for whom I’d waited until he’d left for work, then packed one suitcase and flew across the country to break free from.
I thought about all of that as my hand rested on the door handle to the deli. I started when a patron pushed the door open to exit. It brought me back to the present moment. I wasn’t the same woman I was five years ago; at least, that’s what I told myself as I entered the deli. Ironically, it was the same place where Xavier claimed we had our first date. And thinking of him somehow made me feel a little stronger, made me straighten my stance, and walk with just a little more confidence than I’d had just seconds before.
At first, I didn’t see Ethan, but as I looked toward the back, my breath caught. He didn’t immediately see me, allowing me to study him from afar for a moment. He appeared the same, his six-foot frame looking huge around the small table, his caramel skin clear, and he’d let the goatee he’d had when we were together grow into a full beard.
He looked up. His honey eyes locked on mine as he rose from his seat. He was dressed casually in a pair of dark jeans and a Polo top, the muscles of his arms bulging as he stood. He was still as imposing and handsome as the day I’d met him. I swallowed and made my feet move in his direction.
“Chanel,” he greeted, a shy smile playing on his lips. “I was wondering if you’d show up.”
“I considered not coming,” I answered honestly.
“I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t.” He rubbed his hand down the side of his jeans. “Please, sit.” He pulled out a chair for me, and I obliged, but scooted farther away. I was still leery of what this was all about.
“Are you hungry?” he asked.
I shook my head. Getting food made this feel too much like a date, or old friends getting together. This was not that.
“I’ll just have a smoothie.”
“I’ll get it. What kind?”
“Strawberry banana.”
I turned and watched as he went to the counter and ordered a sandwich for himself and the smoothie for me. I studied him, his mannerisms, trying to discern if I could glean anything. I still wasn’t sure of his intent, and that made me nervous.
“Here you go,” he said, handing me the smoothie. He sat down, barely making eye contact with me. Not knowing what to say, I took a sip of the smoothie, allowing it to coat my dry throat.
“Ethan, what is this about?” I finally asked.
“I wanted to apologize. For everything.” He turned, staring off into the distance before turning back to me. “I, uh, I was a terrible boyfriend and an even worst fiancé to you. You didn’t deserve any of my abuse or cheating, and I just wanted to tell you that, face-to-face. I’m sorry.”
I could’ve been knocked over with a feather. I slumped back in my chair. I looked him right in the eyes, trying to figure out if his words were sincere. Trying to figure out what his angle was, and how or why he would be trying to manipulate me.
“How am I supposed to believe you?”
“You’re right. You have no reason to believe me. I lied to you so much when we were together. But, I…I’ve been making changes in my life over the last few years. I’m trying to right my past wrongs, and I know there’s nothing I can do to make what I did right, but I can offer my apologies and continue to work on myself so that I never treat anyone like I treated you.”
“You came all the way to Houston to apologize?”
“Nah, I don’t live in D.C. anymore.”
“Oh.” I didn’t bother asking him where he lived now, because in all honesty, I didn’t have the energy to care.
“How did you know I was in Houston and where I worked?” I’d been curious and alarmed that he was able to find me.
He gave a small smile. This Ethan I wasn’t familiar with, the bashful one. The Ethan I’d been with was so full of arrogance, it bordered on hubris.
“You told me.”
I tilted my head and gave him a confused look.
“While you were in law school, you’d said that one day you’d like to go back to Houston to practice law and when you did, you’d practice under your mother’s maiden name, so no one would think you only got to be successful because of who your father was.”
“And you told me it didn’t matter, because no wife of yours would be working anyway,” I added, remembering those conversations.
He lowered his eyes to the table. “I did. I’m sorry about that too. I said a lot of bullshit that shouldn’t have been said. I’m glad you didn’t let me stop your plans.”
I was shocked.
“Yeah, I know, but it’s true. Leaving was probably the best thing you did. For the both of us. You’ve been able to accomplish a lot of your dreams and me, well, I was in a bad place for a while afterward. But it ended up being the best thing for me.”
Something inside me told me he was sincere. This demure person wasn’t the braggadocious Ethan that needed to be the center of attention. This was closer to the person I’d thought I’d once fallen in love with. The one whom I’d spent talking with all hours of the night when we were just friends, getting to know one another. The person who’d let his guard down. I don’t know what’d happened to Ethan over the last few years, but I believed him.
I reached across the table, squeezing his hand, “Thank you.”
His larger hand covered mine, patting hit.
“I need to get back to work,” I stated, pulling my hand back.
He rose from his seat. “Yeah, I should get going. I’ll just have this wrapped up,” he indicated the untouched sandwich. “Thank you for meeting with me. Good luck with everything,” he added.
I gave him a smile, grabbed my smoothie and headed toward the door, feeling a weight lift off my shoulders. I didn’t want to head back to my office. Instead, I pulled out my phone, calling the only person I wanted to speak to at that moment.
“Hey, baby girl,” his deep voice answered.
“Hey, Xavier. Are you busy?”
“Never too much for you. Hell, I should be asking you that. It’s the middle of the day.”
“I know, but I wanted to see you. Are you in your downtown office?”
“No, I decided to work from home since my flight got in late last night. Everything all right?”
“It will be once I get a chance to see you. You up for a visit?” My tone had dropped to a seductive purr.
“Hell, yeah.”
“Good. I can be there in twenty minutes.” I hung up and quickly called Liza to let her know I’d be out of the office the rest of the day and to forward any important calls to my cell.
****
Xavier
As soon as I opened my front door, I saw exactly what she wanted written all over her face. The way her eyes ate up my entire body from head to toe sent a chill straight to my dick. I didn’t even have time to say hello before she grabbed the collar of my shirt, pulling my head down to meet hers. My arms went around her waist as she stepped into me, and just like every other time, our bodies fit perfectly together.
“Mmm,” she moaned into my mouth. “I missed you,” she whispered. That little confession lit my entire body on fire—even more than her kiss.
I pulled her into me, stepping back to close the door, before I pushed her body against it.
“Tell me again,” I instructed nipping her earlobe, eliciting another moan from her.
“I missed you.”
I covered her lips with mine and stooped down to pick her up. She wrapped her legs around my waist as I easily strode to my office where I’d been working. I just barely managed to set her down on my desk before she reached for my belt buckle, making quick work of undoing the buckle along with the button and zipper of my pants.
“In a rush?” I teased, tipping her chin up so she was look at me.
She grinned and licked her lips before nodding. Seconds later her hand made its way into my boxer briefs, stroking my manhood.
“Fuck,” I moaned low. I stepped between her legs, pushing her knees further apart and hiking up the black skirt she wore. I wanted to taste her before I entered her. Moving her hand out of my pants to allow me to bend down I gripped her by the waist, and pushed her back by the shoulders to lean back on the desk. In the background, I heard papers and pens falling to the floor, but my sole focus was on getting between Chanel’s legs. Her hunger for me turned me on even more when she pushed my head down, lifting her skirt and spreading her legs even wider for me. I was shocked as hell when she pulled her skirt all the way up revealing she was naked underneath.
I raised an eyebrow, grilling her. “We’re gonna have a talk about you going around not wearing any panties,” I growled.
“I removed them in the car,” she giggled, pushing my head back down. Her laughter turned into a moan as I dipped my head and licked her outer lips. She sighed loudly as I felt a shudder run through her entire body. I captured her swollen button in between my lips and let one finger sink inside her wetness. “Ohh, Xavier,” she panted.
My stomach muscles clenched at her coos and panting, inspiring me to go on. I lapped her up, enjoying her unique taste on my tongue. I inserted a second finger at the same time I felt her thighs tighten around my head. I knew she was close when her hips began bouncing up and down.
“Ahhh!” she screamed as her orgasm reached its peak.
I stood up and watched as she panted to regain control over her body. Damn, I’d missed the hell out of her over the last few days.
“Come here,” I told her, pulling her up to meet me as I hovered over the desk.
She cupped my face with both her hands and outlined my lips with her tongue, sending a shudder through me. My dick pressed against her stomach, seeking its intended target. When she moaned into my mouth at tasting her own juices on my lips, I couldn’t hold back any longer. Pressing her legs apart once again, I positioned myself at her apex and sunk in fully. Chanel leaned back, pressing her elbows against the desk and wrapped her legs around my waste, granting me better access. I stared down into her big brown eyes and felt myself grow even harder at the look of total submission I saw there. Her lids grew heavy as I stroked in and out of her.
“Open your shirt and take off your bra.” I wanted to see all of her.
Sitting up, she managed to unbutton her top and remove her bra. I pressed her back against my desk, leaning over to take one of her nipples into my mouth as my hips continued to piston in and out of her. Her hand came around to cup the back my head.
“Mmm, Xavier, that feels so good,” she squealed.
“How much did you miss me?”
“So much, baby!”
I pulled back, gripping her thighs and began hammering into her. The feeling of not being able to touch her for the last few days had left me hungry for all of her.
“Ah yes! Just like that. Make me cum,” she cried out.
“You gonna cum all over my dick?”
“Yes!”
I angled my hips to dig into her better, hitting that special bundle of nerves deep inside her core. Seconds later I felt her tremble before a gush of wetness coated my appendage. The tightening of her walls around my cock was it for me. My own orgasm took over, causing my entire body to stiffen and then shake.
“Fuck!” I yelled out as ripple after ripple of pleasure moved through me. I leaned down, lowering my head into the crook of her neck, nipping at her earlobe and the sensitive flesh of her neck. I remained there until every drop of my cum was released. When I went to stand, Chanel gripped my face again, forcing me to stare at her. She gave me a look I’d never seen before. Raising her head to me, she pressed a quick kiss to my lips.
“Thank you.”
I tilted my head. “For what?”
“For being you.”
I wasn’t quite sure what that meant. I turned my head, pressing a kiss to the inside of her wrist, before standing upright, and pulling myself completely out of her. I realized we’d had sex without any protection. Again. For some reason that knowledge didn’t alarm me as it would’ve in the past. We’d discussed STDs and all of that before.
“Do you have to go back to work today?”
She shook her head. “I told Liza I was taking the rest of the day off.”
“Good.” I pulled her to me. “We’ve got some more making up for lost time to do.”
****
Chanel
“If I didn’t already know you were coming home with me, I might have to kill every man in here for looking at your ass in this dress.”
I grinned and shivered at his whisper in my ear. We were at The Museum of Fine Arts, at a charity event to raise money for cancer patients. Xavier was a guest of honor, after donating a sizeable amount each year. His grandmother had died of ovarian cancer, which prompted his generosity.
“Lucky you,” I teased.
“I sure am.” He kissed the tip of my nose. “Come here; there are some people I want you to meet.” He steered me toward a group of people. He introduced me to a few investors and managers of his restaurants. Grant’s was catering the event, and the new crab cakes were on the menu.
“There’s Jay and Tori with your pops and Marjorie,” he gestured with his chin. I looked over. While Tori, Jason, and Marjorie wore genuine smiles, my father’s smile was accompanied by a pinch in his eyebrows. I remembered the conversation we’d had in his home office prior, and wondered what his real concerns were.
“Chanel, you look great,” Tori exclaimed, looking me over in the sleeveless burgundy cocktail dress with a slit up the left thigh. I loved a thigh slit. I had great legs from dance class and didn’t mind showing them off.
“Thanks, Tori. You all look great.” I greeted my sister-in-law with a kiss on her cheek, then my brother, then Marjorie, and finally my father. We talked for a little bit until someone pulled Xavier aside to discuss a business proposal. I watched him walk away with a group of men, which included my father and Jason. They looked great in their tuxedos, but my eyes kept returning to Xavier’s profile.
“Daaaamn, girl! Wipe the drool off your chin,” Tori laughed.
I glared at Tori. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I took a sip of champagne.
“Umm, you know. Marjorie, you saw the way she was watching him?”
I squinted at Tori, especially not wanting to have this conversation with Marjorie involved.
“Oh, I saw,” Marjorie giggled. “Looks a lot like the makings of love. Are you all right?”
“You okay?”
She and Tori asked at the same time when I began choking on my champagne. “Y-yeah, I’m fine,” I answered, holding up my hands. “Also let’s not bring up the L word again, okay? Thanks.”
I watched Marjorie and Tori exchange a look, the meaning of which I wasn’t quite sure, but I knew I didn’t like it.
“Please, let’s change the topic.”
“Well, you know I don’t usually like to bring up business in off-hours, but I heard you’re the lawyer for Michele Wyatt. That’s a big deal,” Marjorie began.
“Oh yeah, I heard Jacob Wyatt’s wife filed for divorce. I didn’t know you were her attorney, Chanel. Why didn’t you say anything?” Tori added.
I shrugged. “A little thing called attorney-client privilege.”
Tori frowned. “I’m married to a lawyer, so I know telling me someone is your client wouldn’t violate that privilege.”
She was right, it wouldn’t, but I didn’t go around bragging about who my clients were.
“Wait, isn’t Jacob represented by Jason and Elliott’s firm?” Tori looked over to where the men stood.
“Yup,” Marjorie added.
“Oh, that’s messy.”
“Not really. Robert’s handling the divorce, so it’s not like I have much interaction with Jay or dad.”
“Well, I’m proud of you. It’s a huge case and from what Elliott’s been saying, you’re giving Robert a run for his money,” Marjorie laughed.
I paused, my champagne flute halfway to my face. “He’s mentioned it to you?”
“Oh yeah, he read over the deposition you did a few weeks back and was spouting some legal mumbo jumbo about what he would do next. Following day, he comes back and is like, she did it, she filed this claim or that claim with the judge.”
I crinkled my brows. I wanted to ask Marjorie if she was sure we were speaking about the same person.
“He’s proud of you.”
That almost made me choke again.
“Jay, too. He’s always talking about when you come to work at the firm, it’ll finally be complete,” Tori interjected.
I knew she wasn’t embellishing. Jason had already made his feelings clear on my working for the firm. But I was still digesting Marjorie’s comments.
“You okay?” I heard in my ear. I was instantly comforted by the hand on the small of my back as I looked up into Xavier’s handsome face.
“Perfect. You’re done with all your man talk,” I teased, as both my father and brother came to stand by their wives. I noticed again how my father easily slipped his hand around Marjorie’s waist, gracing her cheek with a kiss.
I blinked away, noticing a familiar face at the entranceway.
“There’s your mom.” I nodded to the door.
“I didn’t know she’d be here.” Xavier held up an arm to get her attention. She looked stunning in an off-the-shoulder beige dress that hugged her petite frame. She spotted Xavier and started in our direction. About halfway there, her steps faltered as she noticed the rest of our group. I wondered what that was about, but Tori mentioned something about the kids, and redirected my attention.
Wanda Grant joined us a moment later and greeted everyone, though her demeanor was a bit icy. It turned out her company was a big donor to the organization and at the last minute, had asked her to stand in for the executive who’d been supposed to come that night.
“Did you know Grant’s was catering tonight?” I asked, making conversation as Xavier and Jason excused themselves to talk with some other people. “The crab cakes are delicious.”
Wanda nodded. “Yes, I’ve tried them at the restaurant.”
“Wanda, that dress is lovely,” Marjorie complimented.
Xavier’s mother gave her a funny look. “Thank you.”
“Sweetie, I’m going to go speak to John for a minute,” my father told Marjorie.
“I need to go to the bathroom; excuse me,” Wanda commented, and before I could even acknowledge her, she was strutting off.
Marjorie looked at me and shrugged. We made idle chit-chat for a little while before Xavier rejoined us and introduced me to a few more people.
“I have to go to the bathroom. I’ll be right back,” I whispered to Xavier.
“Hurry back.”
I headed down the long hallway to the bathroom. Instead of the main bathroom, I knew of a more private bathroom that was up one floor. I headed up the back steps and through a door to the bathroom that was thankfully empty. I used the toilet and then went to the sink to wash my hands and check my makeup.
After pulling out a blotting towelette from my bag, I blotted my face, reapplied another coat of the nude lipstick I was wearing, and headed to the door. As soon as I opened it, I heard voices that seemed familiar, but were hushed. There seemed to be tension between whomever was talking, so, not wanting to interrupt or make them aware of my presence, I just stood by the cracked-open door, hoping they would leave soon.
“You never told him about us, did you?” A male whisper sounded, and a chill ran down my spine.
“Of course not!” the female answered, and I felt bile rise in my throat. I knew these two people, but I continued to hope against hope that they weren’t who I thought they were.
“Xavier doesn’t need to find out about this. He likes Chanel.”
I closed my eyes and began to tremble.
“I don’t need anyone finding out, either. Chanel would hate me even more.”
“I doubt that’s even possible,” I stated coldly, stepping out into the hallway.
My father and Wanda turned to me, eyes wide. I looked at Wanda first, unable to look at my father. Her head was downcast; shame etched into every line of her body.
“Chanel, you weren’t supposed to hear that,” my father started.
“I bet,” I laughed, almost maniacally. “I mean, what man wants his daughter to overhear his mistress tell him her son likes his daughter? Wait, did I even get that right? This is a confusing scenario. And what about Marjorie, your wife? Does she know about you two?”
“No! There’s nothing to know,” Wanda nearly shouted. “Not anymore,” she added.
“Anymore?”
My father looked as if he might take the attitude that he didn’t have to answer to anyone. That was often the attitude he took when my mother questioned his whereabouts when he’d come home in the middle of the night.
His chest heaved. “What happened between Wanda and me was years ago, before Marjorie.” He sounded unusually ashamed.
“Years ago? So, while you were married to Mom?” I looked between them, Wanda’s shoulders sagged, and I knew the answer. I shook my head, alarming both of them when I began laughing again.
“This is just great,” I continued to laugh.
“Chanel, I’m sorry,” Wanda apologized.
“For what?” I asked between laughs. “For having more of my father’s attention than I ever had in my life?”
“Is that why you told me to ‘be careful’ of Xavier?” I looked to my father, putting air quotes around be careful. “Not out of any concern for me, but because you didn’t want your little secret exposed? Wow.” I was looking at my father with all the disgust I had in my heart.
“What?”
I looked up to see Xavier standing at the end of the hall, his face a mask of confusion and anger.
“What the hell did you just say?” he asked me, but looking between my father and his mother.
“Go ahead, Dad. You’ve been awfully quiet. Why don’t you share with Xavier the news I just found out?” I folded my arms across my chest.
“Xavier, baby, we can discuss this at another time. Not here. Not now,” Wanda began, turning to her son.
“Pssh,” I tutted. She didn’t have a problem talking about it there with my father when she thought they were alone.
“You know what, Wanda? You’re right,” I said. “I’m leaving.”
“Chanel,” my father called. “Look, this is complicated, and I’m sorry—”
“Sorry? Are you sorry? Why, because you got caught? Tell me, Dad. Was Wanda the woman you’d been out with the night before Mama died, or was that a different woman?” My anger was boiling over.
My father gave me a horrified look. Likely because of the fact that I’d thrown my mother’s death in his face. Yeah, he could live with that too.
“Don’t bother answering. I’m leaving.”
“You’re not going any damn where,” Xavier’s thunderous words bordered on a threat as he grabbed my wrist, preventing my escape.
“Xavier…” I sighed, just wanting to get out of the presence of these two people, especially my father.
“Nah, you’re not leaving. Mama, we’ll talk later,” he stated abruptly, turning and guiding me with him down the hall.
“Let go of me. I just want to go home,” I tried to keep from yelling as I attempted to break free of Xavier’s grasp.
“And I’ll take you home once the night is over.”
I looked at him like he had two heads.
“After the night...did you just hear what I heard in there?” I pointed to the door we’d just passed through. We were now standing in the stairwell.
He nodded calmly, which served to infuriate me. “I did, and like I said to my mother, we’ll talk about it later. Right now, I have to make a speech, and I want you here with me.” His eyes bored into mine, imploring me to grant his request.
I closed my eyes against the intensity of his gaze, feeling like I’d say or do anything to please him. But I didn’t want to do anything just to please another man. I didn’t feel like smiling for a bunch of people while I was bubbling with anger and hurt inside. I’d grown up seeing my mother smile on the outside to everyone else, only to yell and cry behind closed doors over her hurt. Hell, I’d even been my mother when I was with Ethan. Smiling when people commented how great he was, only to fear going home, because who knew what type of mood he’d be in…or to go to the bathroom to reapply another coat of makeup so the bruises didn’t show through.
Then I got angry with Xavier for even asking me to do this. Yes, I knew I was selfish, but shit, I was tired of smiling for men while feeling like I was breaking on the inside.
Yet, despite my resolve, once I opened my eyes, I knew I couldn’t leave Xavier hanging.
“Fine. But I want to go straight home afterward. And…” I paused when the door of the stairwell opened, and my father and Wanda passed through. “Keep them away from me,” I added, fleeing down the remainder of the steps.
The rest of the evening was a blur, as I made polite conversation with a few other guests Xavier introduced me to. I noticed my father leaving early with Marjorie, and not too long after, Wanda left. Tori gave me curious looks, obviously sensing something was off, but I couldn’t answer her. I prayed for the time to come for Xavier to give his speech so we could get the hell out of there.
When it finally came, he was riveting, of course. Charming the crowd and conveying the pain and grief he’d felt watching his grandmother die of ovarian cancer, and why he felt compelled to give to such a worthy cause. I applauded just as loudly as everyone else once he finished, a part of me glad I’d decided to stay. However, that didn’t quell my anger, and it made me even sadder for what I needed to do.
We gave our farewells to Tori and Jason, and headed home. Even though my original plans were to spend the night at Xavier’s, I couldn’t do it. Not then. It took some convincing, but he finally directed the driver to my condo. Each mile we passed, the weight on my chest grew heavier.
****
Xavier
I had no idea what the fuck had happened tonight. One minute, I’d been enjoying myself, looking forward to the end of the night when I could slide in between my favorite pair of thighs. And then, I was following Chanel as she hurried down the hall to her condo, obviously thinking she was going to shut me out. Not happening. My mother was a whole other issue I’d have to deal with, and I didn’t even want to think about that right then. I ran my hand down my face and sighed as Chanel unlocked her door.
“Thank you for tonight, but I just want to be alone now,” Chanel began.
I took one look at her and pushed the door behind her open, brushing past her. “Nah, fuck that.” I could feel her pulling away from me, and I didn’t like that at all.
“Xavier, I don’t have the energy for this tonight.”
“Too bad. Why do you have to ruin our evening over some shit that has nothing to do with us?” I folded my arms across my chest, stood with my legs apart.
“Nothing to do with us? Are you serious? Did you hear what I heard? Our parents had an affair while my mother was still alive!” she yelled, eyes watering.
“Yeah, I understood that. Still, that has not a damn thing to do with you and me.”
“It has everything to do with me!” she yelled.
“How?” I wasn’t understanding. Yes, it was foul as hell what our parents did, but that didn’t affect the feelings I had for Chanel, or even Jason for that matter. He was still my best friend, and Chanel was still the woman I wanted in my bed at night, and waking up to in the morning. With her stubborn ass.
She rubbed her forehead, obviously feeling frustrated. “Because it does.”
“Nah, Chanel. You’re one of the best lawyers in this damn city. ‘Because’ isn’t a good enough explanation.” I was growing pissed, too. I knew she was using this to put distance between us. I could feel it.
“Because!” she yelled. “He was my goddamn father, and he couldn’t be bothered while I was growing up. He was too busy running around with any woman who’d have him. As long as that woman wasn’t his wife.” She stepped closer to me. “And knowing your mother was one of those women is just too much. I don’t want any part of this.”
The words were like a knife slicing through my chest. I grit my teeth. I ran my hand down my jaw and let out a sardonic laugh. I took a threatening step toward Chanel. She backed up, and I took another step. We did that until her back was against the wall next to her front door.
“You’re fucking full of shit.”
She gasped.
“You know it, and I know it,” I continued. “That shit between our parents has nothing to do with us. You and me.” I pointed between our chests. “Fuck all that bullshit in the past. You’re trying to put distance between us, and you’re using this shit to do it. I’ll only allow you but so long to keep this up.
“Right now, I’m going to go check on my mother and give you space you so clearly want, but this ain’t over by any stretch of the imagination.” I pressed a hard kiss to her forehead before throwing her door open and stalking down the hallway. I fucking hated how out of control this woman made me feel. I usually had no problem keeping it cool and collected on the outside. Even in the most strenuous business negotiations, I rarely lost it, but this thing with Chanel. At that moment, I was feeling more pissed off than I had in a long time, and I knew it was because I felt out of control.
I met the waiting driver of the town car downstairs at the front of Chanel’s building. Instead of directing him to my home, I gave him the address of my mother’s house. If I wasn’t going to get the answers I wanted from one woman tonight, I might as well get some answers from the other woman in my life.
****
“Hey baby, I figured you’d be over sometime tonight,” my mother greeted as she opened the door.
I took in her weary expression. She’d changed into a pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt. In her eyes shone of the shame she was feeling. That hurt more than anything, knowing my mother felt shame or embarrassment. I stepped over the threshold and pulled her into an embrace.
“Hey, Mama.” I removed my tux jacket and threw it over the coatrack next to the door.
“Tea?” my mom asked as she headed toward the kitchen.
“Yeah, sure.” My mother always made tea when we needed to talk.
“You know where the honey and lemon are.”
I turned and grabbed a pre-sliced lemon out of the drawer in her fridge and the honey out of one of the cupboards above the sink. It was silent as we let our tea cool down. I sat on a stool across from my mother.
“The renovators did a good job in here,” I said, as if this was my first time seeing her kitchen since she’d moved back in. Although, the last time I had seen it was with Chanel, and my mind had been otherwise occupied. Thinking about Chanel reminded me of the reason I was there so late in the first place.
“You want to tell me what happened?” I asked.
My mother’s eyes lifted to meet mine as she lowered her tea cup. “I didn’t go there tonight to start anything. I would never do that. You know that, right?”
“Of course. What happened?”
She stared off into the distance. “John at work had to cancel, so at the last minute, I was asked to stand in for him. Anyway, I knew you’d be there. I didn’t know Elliott and his wife were going to be there. It’s been a few years since I last saw him. At one point in the night, he asked to speak with me. We found a private—well, what I thought was a private hallway. He wanted to know if I’d told you about what happened between us. I told him of course not. I guess he was concerned about Chanel finding out, since you and she…” She trailed off, looking at me. “But well, she’d been in the bathroom I guess, and you know the rest.”
I nodded. “Mama, I get that part of the story. What I want to know is what happened before? You had an affair with my best friend’s father?” That was what I couldn’t comprehend. This was the woman who’d taught me everything I knew about being a good human being, doing right by others, and living by one’s moral compass.
“I don’t know what you want me to tell you, Xavier.”
“How about the truth? Let’s start there.” There was an obvious bite in my tone, but I kept it respectful. She was still my mother. The woman who made me the man I am today.
“Uh, it started while you were away in college. Elliott and I knew each other, of course, through you two boys, but nothing had ever happened. I knew his reputation and knew he was very much a married man. But a few years after you moved away for school, he and I took on a client together. I was asked to come in and help with the accounting of one of his clients. He and I ended up working well together, and one thing led to another. It lasted for six months, but I broke it off when I realized what I was doing. I just got caught up. You were out of the house, and I suddenly had all this free time, and I began compensating with work, and then him. But I saw him out with another woman one night—a woman who wasn’t Chanel’s and Jason’s mother—and realized how trifling my behavior was. We’ve rarely spoken since.”
I blew out a breath, pushing my cup to the side. My anger and disappointment began to subside. I understood better where she was coming from. She’d focused so much on raising me and getting an education, and then working hard so she could take care of me, that she’d never dated. It must’ve been difficult for her when I left home to have so much free time all of a sudden, and no one to give it to. And shit, I knew Elliott’s ass. We all knew his reputation. He was a smooth-talking, charming dude.
“And that’s why you tried to warn me about getting too attached to Chanel?”
My mother hung her head. “Yeah. With Chanel, I saw how you looked at her. I knew if you two kept spending time together, eventually there’d come a time and place where Elliott and I would be forced to confront the elephant in the room.” She reached across the island counter to cover my hands with her own. “I don’t have anything against her. I like Chanel, and I can tell you do too. I was just selfish. I didn’t want you knowing my shame. I’m sorry, son. I never want my actions to compromise your happiness.”
I chuckled, although I wasn’t feeling happy about shit. “Yeah, well, it might be over,” I sighed.
“What? Why?”
“Chanel. She’s pissed. No, she’s hurt, and she’s claiming she can’t deal with this, or rather, with us,” I admitted. Just saying those words had me flexing my fists again. I knew Chanel’s ass was lying. Even if she didn’t know she was, I knew her pulling back had nothing to do with our parents’ bullshit.
“Aw, baby, I’m sure she didn’t mean that. Just give her some time to cool off.”
I nodded, agreeing with my mother’s words, but remained silent.
“I’m going to head home.” I stood, moving around the island to give my mother a kiss.
“Are you sure you should be driving this late? You still seem upset.” My mother’s forehead creased with worry.
“I have a driver for the night. I’ll be fine,” I told her, patting her arm. “I’ll give you a call in the morning.” I turned and made my way to the front door. I was beat and didn’t need any more company for the rest of the night, unless it was the stubborn woman I’d left earlier, but I knew that wasn’t happening.