Sometime around midnight, my parents come home. They’re loud, boisterous and, it seems, ready to party. I look around our family room to find Holly curled up on the couch, Aiden passed out next to her and Calvin asleep in the recliner. There’s some infomercial on about a special glue that will hold anything playing on the TV, and I find myself wanting to buy it to try it out.

Luckily, the noise from the party animals is enough to wake everyone, except for Holly. Honestly, I think the girl ate so many cookies she’s in a food coma after her sugar crash. Aiden stretches and his shirt rises a little, showing off a small sliver of skin. I look away and giggle. The action is completely school girlish, but I don’t care.

“What’s going on in here?” my mom asks as she comes into the room, making eye contact with each of us. I watch as she pauses on Holly before turning attention to Aiden. “Hello, Aiden.” She draws out his name, almost as if she’s surprised to see him. She shouldn’t be since I’ve done nothing but talk about him since I spent the night at his house. Sure, it was more of me talking to myself, listing all the reason why I should friend zone Aiden, and her listening, providing me reasons why I should give love a chance, and how Aiden and I deserve happiness.

Thing is, we do deserve happiness, but maybe not with each other. I know I have a lot to offer him and Holly, but I also come with baggage. I’m gone for months on end. My hours are horrible. My life is constantly under scrutiny. Although, after his neighbor blabbed to the entire town that she saw us making-out, his life is too. The worse part is that Aiden and I weren’t doing anything wrong or anything at all for that matter.

“Hi, Mrs. Du Luca,” he says groggily. Aiden sits up and rubs his hands over his face. He offers my mom a quick smile before turning his attention Holly.

“Do you want some help?” I ask, even though I have no idea what I’m going to do to help.

“Why doesn’t she stay here?” Mom offers.

“Thanks for the offer, Ms. Du Luca, but I’ll take her home. We have a big day tomorrow.”

“Yes, I suppose we’re all so busy with the festival.”

“And we have the policeman’s Christmas party next week,” Aiden reminds her. “Surely, you haven’t forgotten.”

“Oh, of course not. The Women’s Guild has been busy wrapping presents for all the children. Santa is so excited to be there. It’ll be so much fun.”

It’s been years since I’ve been to the ball. When we were teenagers, we had cleanup duty since we were too old to participate. Nevertheless, I remember going when I was younger to sit on Santa’s lap. He always seemed to know what I wanted.

Aiden scoops Holly up and I follow him to the door, where I help him slide Holly’s coat on. “She’s out cold.”

“You fed her too many cookies,” he says, causing me to step away.

“I didn’t mean to say it like that. She had a lot of fun here, Laney. I haven’t seen her this happy in a long time and that’s because of you.”

“She’s a great little girl, Aiden. I really…” Do I like her? Care for her? Love her as if she were my own?

“I know,” he says, filling in my missing words with whatever works for his life. I open the door for them and follow them out into the cold night air without a jacket. Aiden hurries to put Holly into the truck and runs around to the driver’s side to start it. He closes the door and comes over to me, using his hands to rub up and down my arms before pulling me into his embrace. “I had the best time tonight. I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to thank you for making Holly’s Christmas so magical. She hasn’t stopped talking about you since you came over the other night.”

“She’s amazing, Aiden.”

“So are you. And Calvin… I’m glad you brought him here. I’ve enjoyed getting to know him.”

Is Aiden deflecting? Is he hiding his feelings from me by bringing up Calvin? “You and Calvin seem to be good friends.”

“He’s great. He really cares for you, Delaney.”

Does Aiden think Calvin has a thing for me? I certainly hope not. Relationships between employee and employer are common, especially in my industry, but Calvin is my best friend. He’s my confidant when I need to unload. He’s my protector when I have no one else. “Yeah, he is. He’s my best friend in Los Angeles. Honestly, I’d be a hermit if it weren’t for him.” I adjust slightly so I can look at Aiden, hoping he can see in my eyes, what I’m telling him.

“He told me you were crying the other day. Why?” Aiden looks concerned.

“I don’t even remember, actually. Probably something Dominic did to me. You know how he is.” I shake my head, hoping to convey my tears were for nothing. He doesn’t need to know I heard people talking about him and how he was romancing another woman until I arrived. Aiden and I may not have stayed in touch, but I can’t imagine his character has changed over the years. The Aiden Fisher I know isn’t a cad.

Aiden brushes over my cheek with the back of his hand. Our eyes never leave each other’s. We’re so close. If I were to rise up on my tippy toes, I could kiss him right here and now, but not with Holly in the truck. I don’t want to put Aiden in a situation where he has to explain why he’s kissing someone other than her mommy. “Goodnight,” I say, stepping out of his grasp.

Aiden pulls me back to him and kisses my forehead. His warm lips linger, burning into my skin, my thoughts and my heart. I close my eyes and wish for a time when everything would be perfect. Sadly, a time like that existed ten years ago. Things could’ve been different for the both of us or we could’ve easily ended up like many of the other failed relationships. It’s hard not knowing if you made one change in your life, how different things could be.

I step away and head into my parents’ house. I do so without looking back to see if he’s watching. I want to think he is and want that to be my last thought of the night. Inside, the house is quiet, but the glow from the television tells me someone is still awake. In the den, my father’s in his recliner flipping through the channels.

“Hey.” I sit on the couch, choosing the spot closest to my dad.

“Aiden gone?”

“Yeah, he is.”

“You know he waited in line for a ticket to see you tonight. Told Maryann he wanted the last two.”

“I heard. I’m not sure why though. All he had to do is ask me to meet him.”

Dad sets the remote down and looks at me. “You know sometimes men like to take things slow. I know in your world, everything moves at such speed, but here we like to stop and smell the roses.”

“It’s winter. There are no roses, unless men have some magical garden us women don’t know about, in which case you should start sharing because I know Mom loves red roses, especially at Christmastime.”

My dad gives me the side eye and a sly grin. I just nailed one of the gifts my mom will receive in the next few days. For as long as I can remember, my dad has given my mom a gift every day during the week leading up to Christmas. I’ve always wanted this type of love and I’m still waiting to find it.

“What I’m saying, dear daughter of mine, is sometimes us men like to take things slow. We want to enjoy the chase. We want our victory to be sweet.”

“You make love sound like a game.”

“Isn’t it though?” he asks. “Where’s the fun in walking up to a beautiful woman and saying ‘I want to take you on a date?’”

“Sometimes being forward is the best way,” I counter.

Dad shakes his head. “Nah. Sometimes getting to know the person you’re interested in makes dating so much sweeter.”

“Why are we having this conversation? It’s not like Aiden and I are going to start dating.”

“Oh!”

I roll my eyes, knowing he can’t see them in the dark and won’t be able to chastise me for it. “Aiden and I come from two different worlds, as you mentioned. At the end of the month, I go back to my crazy, hectic life, and he stays here protecting the people of Ramona Falls and raising his daughter. I would never wish my lifestyle on him and Holly, and although Holly would love the glitz and glam, I don’t think Aiden would. Everything about my world is unpredictable and somewhat scary. I have a bodyguard for a reason. Being under the scrutiny of people, twenty-four seven is tiring. Aiden wouldn’t want this type of life.”

“Have you asked him?”

I scoff. “Daddy, we’re not dating. We’re not even seeing each other. We’re hanging out, being friends and enjoying what little time I have here. Besides, the rumor around town is he already has eyes for another woman, and I’m probably in the way, always inserting myself into his life.”

“You can’t listen to everything you hear around town, Delaney. If I did, I’d worry about whether or not I’m doing a good job.”

“But you are.”

“According to you, I am. However, not everyone feels the same as you. People like to stir pots.” He closes his recliner and gets up, handing me the remote. “Listen, all I’m saying is, things aren’t as they always seem. If a man is willing to buy the last two tickets to see someone, and wait in the freezing cold for his turn, he may be worth the chance.” Dad kisses me on top of my head and ruffles my hair. “Goodnight, dear. See you at your booth in the morning.”

Ugh! Personal appearances on a lack of sleep never bode well for me. Still instead of going to bed, I lie on the couch and continue to flip through the channels until I land on the Sound of Music. For the life of me, I’ll never understand why this is a Christmas movie. No one sings any Christmas carols. There isn’t a tree, presents or even snow and it takes place in Austria, which surely has snow in the wintertime. I just don’t get it, yet here it is, on TV, before the holiday. I still watch it, though, and sing along to every song. Living here though has afforded many of us to grow up with the Von Trapps. I’ve even asked their great-grand children why their family’s movie is mostly shown at Christmas and they don’t understand it either.

When the movie ends, I drag myself to my bedroom and fall onto my bed without changing my clothes. I do remember to set my alarm for the morning though, which then has me looking at Aiden’s contact information. Is my dad right? Does Aiden want to pursue something with me? I press the icon to send him a message and start typing.

I’m often up late at night even when I have to be someplace early in the morning. I don’t know why I’m writing to you or if you’re even awake, but I am. Thank you for letting Holly come over tonight. She’s such an amazing little girl and I had the best time making cookies with her. Spending time with the both of you has been the best present a girl could ask for. Hopefully, I’ll see you tomorrow. If not, enjoy your weekend, Aiden. ~ Laney.

I hit send before I can chicken out, and watch as the message delivers. I read it over, wondering if I should’ve said something different, but it’s too late. What’s done is done.