Down in the medical facility, Dr. Glavnic checked me out. I had some scrapes on my shins and calves that he carefully cleaned, a lump on my head where I’d been kicked and plenty of bruises, but there’d be no lasting damage. “You were lucky,” he told me.

“I had Mr. Buchanan,” I told him.

I checked in on my father, but there was no change. I slowly climbed the stairs up the tower to my room. Just lifting each foot was an effort: I was exhausted. Everything’s such a mess. Garmania about to invade us. My own people close to rioting. I’d seen Jakov’s face when he heard about the vigilante justice. All his fears were coming true. I’d hidden the cherry candy I’d bought in America away in a drawer. I knew I wouldn’t be able to convince him to give it to Simone, not when things were like this.

In my bedroom, I fell into a chair. The sun was low and the room was a mass of shadows.

Something moved out from behind the drapes. A figure. I let out a half scream and dived for the door. There’s someone in here! I turned on the lights—

“Sorry,” said Caroline absently. “Didn’t mean to scare you.”

I wilted, panting, my hand to my chest. “Jesus! What are you doing in here?”

“I just wanted to be alone,” she whispered.

She looked thin and drawn. Is she eating? “Caroline…”

She shook her head and tried to push past me. I had to grab her arm to stop her. “Talk to me!” I demanded.

She was close to tears. “You have a country to run,” she said.

So that was why she hadn’t been talking to me. Being Queen had even messed up things with my best friend. “Oh, Caroline!” I gathered her into my arms. “I always have time for you.”

She hiccoughed. Her face crumpled. And suddenly it all came out, all the tears she’d been holding back since we discovered Sebastian was a traitor.

“I’m just—” She sniffed. “I just want to see him. Even after what he did. I just—Why can’t everything just go back to the way it was?”

“I know,” I whispered, stroking her blonde hair. “I know.”

She shook her head viciously. “You don’t know,” she said. She pulled back and looked at me. “Kristina, I thought he was the one!”

She threw herself against my chest again and started sobbing. My chest ached for her. I’d had no idea it was that serious. No wonder she was heartbroken.

“They have him in a cell!” she sobbed. “And everyone’s—”

She broke off, but I frowned. “Everyone’s what?”

“I heard some of the other maids talking. They think I must have known. Or that I’m stupid for not realizing.”

My arms tightened around her. I was going to have some very stern words with those maids. “He was very convincing,” I said gently. “I liked him too. He had us all fooled. He’s so nice.” Shy, in fact. That’s why I’d been so surprised at the idea of him and Caroline together.

“That’s what I like about him,” croaked Caroline.

I released her from the hug so that I could look at her.

“Other men just want to…” She looked down at her feet. “You know. They think I’m blonde, and a maid, and they want me for... fun. But Sebastian, he treats me like I’m something special.” Her lower lip trembled and she looked up at me. “He makes me feel like—”

She broke off and started sobbing again, but it didn’t matter: I knew what she meant. I’ve always known that it must be hard for her, being best friends with a royal.

Sebastian had made her feel like she was the princess.

I hugged her close. “I’m sorry,” I told her. “I’m sorry all this happened.”

She shook her head. “It’s not your fault,” she managed.

But that didn’t stop the guilt that was welling up inside me. It was me they were trying to kill. All the casualties of this thing: the dead FBI agents, Caroline, Garrett’s dad... I felt responsible. I held Caroline for a long time, until she’d cried herself out.

“Do you want to do something, when all this is over?” she asked, sniffing.

I nodded. “That spa in the mountains, with the hot tubs?”

“I’d really like that.” She hugged me again, then let me go. “You have work to do.”

I nodded reluctantly. “I have to call the Garmanian Prime Minister.”

I saw her hand tighten on the doorknob at the mention of Garmania. “Give the bastard an earful from me.”

When she’d gone, I slumped into a chair and picked up the phone. I stared at the old-fashioned receiver for a moment. I was exhausted, battered and in pain: I was in no shape to be attempting negotiations. But on the way down to the medical facility, Aleksander had shown me a report that left me no choice. I had to try to stop this turning into a war.

I took a deep breath and asked the palace secretaries to put me through.

“Your Majesty.” The Prime Minister’s accent took me straight back to the soldiers in my nightmares. “I’m relieved to hear you’re alright.”

“Thank you,” I said carefully.

“I was concerned to hear about the attempts on your life. And the bombings. A terrible business.”

I crushed the receiver in my hand, furious. I thought of Garrett’s dad, of Caroline. A terrible business?! I knew he was a master politician, knew he’d been playing this game since before I was born. But how could he lie so brazenly? “Mr. Prime Minister... we know that the group responsible is led by Silvas Lukin, the Garmanian war criminal. We know that his men are Garmanian soldiers from his old squad—”

“Terrorists,” said the Prime Minister calmly. “I assure you we don’t support—”

“They’re using Garmanian weapons!” I snapped, already losing my cool. “The rifle used to shoot my father! The mortar and incendiary rounds used to try to kill me in Texas! All manufactured in Garmania!” I snatched up the report Aleksander had given me. “I’m looking at a report on the bombs placed in our city: the explosives are the same type your army used in the war!”

He faked righteous indignation. “Are you suggesting—”

“Prime Minister, we know what you’re doing. We know what you’re planning!”

“Let me tell you what we know,” he said coldly. “We see Lakovia close to falling apart, its people panicked, its leadership failing to protect them. You lash out at our country, accuse us of supporting terrorism in your media. We see Garmanians in your country persecuted, attacked in their homes—”

“We’re already moving to stop that,” I said quickly.

“Meanwhile, our satellites show activity at your airbases. You’re preparing to attack. If you do, we’ll have no choice but to defend ourselves.”

What?! That’s how he was going to play it, turn it all around and paint them as the victim? “Mr. Prime Minister, please,” I begged. “I—” I took a deep breath. “I don’t want a war. But I’ll do what I have to, to protect my people.”

“As will I, Your Majesty.”

And the line went dead.

I stared at the receiver, panting in frustration, and then hurled the thing across the room. I put my head on the desk and wrapped my arms over it. I just wanted to break down and cry. Whatever I did, war was coming. Millions were going to live or die based on what I did. I’m not ready for this! I’m not a queen!

Garrett’s words came back to me. I believe in you.

I let out a long sigh, then swept my hair back from my face and sat up. I picked the phone up off the floor and called in General Novak and Aleksander. When they arrived, I filled them in on the phone call. Neither of them seemed surprised.

Aleksander sighed. “With this, the attack on the coronation and the evidence that the explosives they’re using are Garmanian... Your Majesty, there’s only one choice here. We have to attack.”

I shook my head. “There must be some other way.”

“Your Majesty, your father trusted me,” said General Novak. “I ask that you do the same. War is inevitable at this point. We must attack first.”

I wish Garrett was here. “How many?” I could only manage a whisper. “How many will die?”

“My latest estimates are two million of our people, over the course of the war.”

“How many in total, General?”

“Two million of ours, Your Majesty. Eight million Garmanians.”

The numbers were horrific, unthinkable. “And if I don’t attack first?”

“Then their bombers will likely target our cities. Six to eight million of our people, a longer war: one I’m not sure we’d win. At least as many dead on their side, maybe more.”

Ten million people. Dead. Or more than that if I didn’t attack first. I wanted to throw up. They were right, there was only one decision I could make but that didn’t make it any easier. “We attack,” I said. “How does it work?”

General Novak nodded somberly. Thank God he’s here. “The bombers will launch tomorrow morning at dawn, Your Majesty. They’ll enter Garmanian airspace and start their bombing runs roughly an hour later.”

“You’ll go on TV and issue a formal declaration of war just before they cross the border,” said Aleksander. “Also: the President of Sorvatia is on his way. Once the war starts, we’ll have to move troops and supplies through his country to reach parts of Garmania. He’ll be here this evening.”

I nodded. “I’d like to be alone now.”

I managed to hold on until the door had closed behind them. Then I ran to my bathroom and threw up.

Kneeling there on the tiles, I started shaking and couldn’t stop. I’ve failed. I’ve failed my people. My bathroom’s not big, but the room felt enormous, a vast plain with winds whipping across it to chill me. I needed to get warm. I needed Garrett’s arms around me.

But I couldn’t have them.

Instead, I walked on shaky legs to the bathtub and ran a hot, deep bath. I dumped in some of the mandarin and patchouli oil I loved so much. I’d been dreaming about taking a bath ever since this whole nightmare started. But when I got in, it didn’t relax me. I wanted him.

And then I heard his unmistakable, heavy footfall in the hallway outside my chambers. The thump of his knock, like a giant who has to knock with just one knuckle, or he’ll knock down the door. That deep Texas rumble...but there was something wrong, a halting tension in his voice. “Your Majesty?”

Immediate, overwhelming relief. He’s here. I needed him: God, I needed him. This rock of a man, the one person who wasn’t all about double-talk and scheming. And right on the heels of that, the knowledge that we couldn’t be together. It isn’t fair, damn it!

I swallowed. “Come in. I’m bathing.”

I heard the door to my bedroom open and then close. His footsteps approaching the bathroom door. My heart started to race: did he understand I only meant come into the bedroom? What if he just walks straight in here and sees me— My eyes went to the unlocked bathroom door and the lust slammed into me, pushing back my problems for a moment. The effect he had on me was physical, immediate. I could actually hear my breathing growing quicker and more ragged with each footstep that came towards me. Imagining his big hand turning the handle, the door swinging open, his eyes roaming over my body….

He stopped. I heard him hunker down and sit, right outside my bathroom door. I actually saw the door move a little as he leaned against it. I let out a long, heavy breath.

“The war’s about to start,” I told him through the door. “Whatever I do, however hard I try, I can’t change it.” I lay there staring at the door, wishing I could see him. “Garrett... did you ever send people to die?”

“No, Your Majesty. I’m just a grunt. I get the easy part.”

He didn’t try to tell me it would be okay. I loved that about him: the total lack of bullshit. But then he went quiet and I knew something awful was coming.

“Your Majesty,” he said at last. “There’s something I need to tell you.”

Despite the hot water, a chill started to seep into me. “Go on,” I told him.

“It’s been an honor to serve you,” he said. “But I have to leave.”