Chapter Ten
Cash’s hand shook as he turned the handle to his lawyer’s office door. Today they’d find out for sure whose daughter Sophia was.
And he was terrified. He couldn’t lose her.
His lawyer followed him into the room. No one else came, because he hadn’t told anyone. Not even his family. He figured he’d tell them if the results showed Marcus as the father and Cash had to fight to keep Sophia. But, other than Will now, none of them even knew about Georgia leaving because of Marcus. Just like with that situation, he figured why worry them. Telling them changed nothing.
He only needed a lawyer for this part anyway. As soon as Holly left the station, he’d called up the best child protective services worker he knew and gotten a list of lawyers’ names. He and his lawyer had already discussed the options and Cash’s wishes should the tests show Marcus to be her biological father. Given the time limit, the statute of limitations had passed, which gave him more rights than if she’d just been born.
Cash would’ve done a test on his own before this, to know for sure, but Marcus called him the day Holly dropped that bombshell and started the system moving. A separate test would’ve been no faster. Now, though, he regretted waiting. Maybe he could’ve walked into this meeting already knowing.
He adjusted the gun strapped to his belt as he sat in the generic conference room across the table from Marcus, who nodded at him. They hadn’t interacted, letting their lawyers do all the work. Cash had a deputy contact Marcus about the dead horse because there was a snowball’s chance in hell he’d be able to look at the facts with a neutral eye. His deputy’s finding said no wrongdoing, in large part because of Holly’s observations about the care of the animal.
Right now, Marcus didn’t look excited; he looked sick—pale, his face pinched, leg jiggling away under the table. Was he worried he’d be landed with a child? Would he be a good father to Sophia?
Not as good as me, Cash knew in his gut.
Rain beat against the windows, which showed the swirling black clouds of the thunderstorm blowing through outside. Every so often, the sky flashed with a streak of lightning, followed by a roll of thunder. The weather reflected his mood exactly. He tapped his fingers on the solid wood tabletop as they waited for Marcus’s lawyer and the caseworker assigned. As both he and Marcus had agreed to the test, the case wasn’t in front of a judge. Yet.
As soon as they sat down, the sealed document on top of their paperwork, a roaring started in Cash’s ears. He didn’t even hear what they had to say leading up to opening the document and reading the results.
Even then he had to ask them to repeat it.
“The result is a ninety-nine percent match to Cash Hill. Mr. Hill, you are the biological father of Sophia Ivy Hill,” the caseworker repeated.
Cash dropped his head to his hands and swallowed against the emotions slamming through him, and the tears pushing at the backs of his eyes.
Relief.
Elation.
Continued anger with Georgia for putting him through this fucking ordeal.
But mostly relief.
“Thank God,” he muttered.
His lawyer clapped him on the back. “I think that’s the best result for all parties involved. Especially for Sophia.”
Cash stood, just wanting to get out of there, but Marcus stood as well, his chair tipping over in his haste. He held out a hand to shake. “I agree—this is the best result. I can’t say I’m not disappointed.” He shook his head. “I was so sure, or I wouldn’t have…”
Cash left his hands at his sides, not taking Marcus’s proffered hand.
Marcus seemed to realize this and slowly lowered his. “I’m sorry I had to put you through that. But if she was mine, I wanted to be there for her and to support her.”
Whatever. Cash had zero interest in Marcus’s side. “Well, now you know.”
Marcus stood up straighter. “You do too. You’ll never have to guess.”
What does that mean? Fuck it. I don’t care what that means. Sophia is mine.
“Would it be possible to see her sometimes?”
Cash had to catch up with the question. “Sophia?”
Marcus nodded. “Georgia used to bring her around all the time. And I thought she was mine, all these years. Not that Georgia ever said so. I just believed it because of the timing. I gave your little girl my heart. I—”
“No.”
Marcus’s jaw hardened, but he nodded. “I understand.”
Cash turned to leave the room.
“You should know…”
Cash clenched his fists at his sides before he turned. He just wanted to get out of here. “What?”
“Holly wanted no part of this. It took a ton of convincing for her to agree to be deposed. She didn’t want to hurt Sophia. Or you.”
Cash stared at the other man, part of him wondering if he could believe Marcus. The other half suddenly feeling lighter at the information.
Oddly, he’d missed her the last two weeks. Sophia asked about her almost every day, wanting to go over and visit her. Seeing her at Reed’s ranch with the horse, he’d wanted to stick around, spend more time with her, listen to her funny laugh. Not that she’d laughed. A totally confusing response given how pissed he was at her.
“She insisted that, if the test showed Sophia was mine, I run any decision or idea about what to do by her first.” Marcus hitched a shoulder. “I think she wanted to do what she could to protect you both.”
Well, hell.
Had he been too harsh with Holly? Could he forgive her for her part in all this? Easier with the results being what they were. He doubted he would’ve been able to had Marcus been named the father. Though, with the way she got under his skin, maybe he could’ve. He’d never know now. The question was, how did he feel about her now that this was over?
*
Holly hustled through town, eager to get out of the rain, which poured down in a sideways motion, thanks to the accompanying wind. Today was a day off, which she was using to get some errands done around town. Her once pitifully empty refrigerator was full, and now she was downtown to pick up more feed for her horses. The feed was in the process of being loaded into her truck, which meant she had a little time to kill.
Trying not to splash more water up as she moved, she crossed the street, glad she’d worn flip-flops today since she was soaked up to her knees, her umbrella close to useless in this weather. Nothing was worse than soaked socks, in her opinion. She headed for Pete’s BBQ, on the other side of the square that surrounded the old courthouse, for some dinner.
“Holly?”
She turned at the sound of the deep voice calling her name, her heart rate kicking up a few notches. She knew before she turned that the voice belonged to Cash. Had he gotten the results and Marcus was the father? Her heart ached at the mere thought.
As she waited under the overhang of the building, mostly protected from the rain, she managed to stretch her lips into a semblance of a polite smile, which froze on her face when she caught sight of him—in full uniform.
Cash was obviously on the clock, dressed in the khaki shirt and pants, complete with a holstered gun at his hip, sheriff’s badge on his chest, cowboy hat on his head and boots on his feet. She’d noticed when she visited his office a few weeks ago, of course, but had been too nervous to pay much attention. Now, however… Holy hell, was there anything sexier than a man in uniform? At that precise instant, Holly couldn’t think of anything.
“Sheriff.” She tipped her chin up as he came closer, proud of her steady voice and gaze, determined to hide her inner turmoil as she searched his face.
She couldn’t read his expression. As he stared at her, unsmiling and intense, she just resisted shifting under his gaze. A desperate urge clawed at her to ask about Sophia and the paternity issue, but she ignored it, not wanting to poke a sleeping snake. Instead, Holly tipped her head in question and waited.
Cash nodded toward Pete’s. “You planning to stay and eat?”
“Yes.” She drew the word out, wondering where he was going with that.
“Mind if I join you?”
Her eyebrows flew up before she lowered them in a frown. “I was pretty sure that you wanted nothing to do with me.”
He shifted his weight, rocking back on his heels. “I’d like to talk to you about that. That all right?”
Honestly, she wasn’t sure. “Are you allowed?” She searched for an excuse to avoid the conversation.
Cash tipped his head in question.
“The uniform.” She waved at his clothing. “Aren’t you on duty?”
Understanding cleared the lines from his expression. “Oh. I’m off, and I haven’t eaten.”
Guess I’m not getting out of this. She gave an internal sigh. “Okay, Sheriff. Lead the way.”
That elicited a smile, but a brief one. As they headed inside and placed their orders, a sense of dread came over her. He must have something bad to tell her, otherwise, why would he even be talking to her? The past several weeks had made it clear he was keeping his distance.
As they took their orange trays piled with food, filled their soda fountain drinks and found a table, Holly mentally steeled herself for what was coming. Suddenly, the smoked sausage and turkey that’d sounded tasty earlier didn’t seem all that appealing. She popped a piece of sausage in her mouth and chewed without tasting or enjoying the spicy meat and tangy sauce.
“Sophia is my daughter.”
She inhaled a piece of meat and started a round of violet coughing ending in a spluttering intake of breath. Finally, once the coughing stopped, she jerked her head up to stare at him.
“Sorry.” He grimaced. “I didn’t mean to just blurt it out. But I only just found out.”
Holly had no idea what she’d expected her reaction to be, but it certainly wasn’t the loud sob that erupted from some place deep inside. Then she couldn’t seem to stop crying. And not pretty crying like in the movies, but ugly, body-heaving, face-contorting blubbering.
“Are you okay?” Cash asked. She couldn’t see his face through the tears.
She held up a hand and tried to nod, because speech was not physically possible at the moment.
But she kept crying. And crying. And crying.
After watching her for a few minutes, Cash got up and came around to her side of the booth. He scooted her over, then wrapped his arms around her.
Finally, his touch seemed to calm her and after a few more minutes, she was able to suck in a stuttering breath.
“I’m okay now,” she muttered against his chest.
He let go, but stared down into her eyes as if trying to see her soul. When she shifted uncomfortably, he moved back to his side, and she shoved down the feeling of loss, missing his warmth, the sandalwood scent of him.
Grabbing a napkin, she wiped her face. “Sorry about that. Seems like I should be the one comforting you. I was just so worried…”
She looked up finally, to discover him watching her with that same unreadable expression.
“I’m so happy to hear that news. For Sophia…and you.”
He nodded. “Thanks.”
Holly bit her lip when he didn’t say more. “Was that what you had to tell me? You don’t have to stay with me to eat if you don’t want.”
He dropped his gaze, seeming suddenly unsure, and fiddled with his silverware, moving it around on the table.
When he still didn’t speak, Holly did the only thing she could think of and shoveled a bite of food into her mouth, not even paying attention to what.
“I’d like to apologize.”
She froze mid-bite. That was not remotely what Holly had expected. She blinked a couple of times as her brain caught up with his words, and she slowly lowered her fork back to her plate. He wasn’t telling her to keep away?
“Holly?” he prompted when she didn’t speak.
She gave a tiny shake of her head. “Apology accepted, of course. But…for what, if you don’t mind my asking?”
He sat forward, arms propped on the edge of the table, and gave her a small grimace. “I was angry and terrified I’d lose my daughter. I took it out on you. I’m sorry.”
She shook her head. “I understand. Sophia’s your child. Of course, you were scared to lose her. And my part…” She shrugged. She’d be pissed if she were him.
Pissed at her. Pissed at Georgia. Pissed at Marcus. Generally pissed.
He regarded her searchingly before he glanced down. “I realized when she came home so excited, talking about visiting you and the hawk, that I wasn’t being entirely fair, but I was still too angry to let that influence me. And I had to focus on the paternity suit first.”
“I thought you’d be furious that I saw her.”
He huffed a laugh. “I was at first, but then I calmed down.”
She could tell he was holding something back, but she wouldn’t press. “I didn’t invite them. They sort of showed up.”
“Yeah. I figured that out.”
Holly pushed food around her plate, hesitant about bringing up a sore subject, but if she was allowed around his family again, she needed to know what was still secret. “I take it you didn’t share the paternity issue with your family?”
His lips settled in a grim line. “No.”
“Why not? Seems like you could’ve used their support?”
“I didn’t want to worry them if there was no reason.”
“Are you going to tell them now?”
He shrugged, which she interpreted as no. He had such an amazing, close family. Why wouldn’t he share such important news with them? “You can’t go around shouldering every burden by yourself, Cash. They would want to be there for you.”
“Let me worry about it, Holly.” His tone brooked no argument.
She held up her hands in surrender. “I see. I won’t say anything, of course.”
“Thanks. I already know you’re good at keeping secrets.”
Ouch. Holly cringed. “I am sorry Cash.”
“I kinda figured that out.” He waved a hand at her face. “All the crying.”
He might never forgive her, but at least he wasn’t still shutting her out. Somewhere deep down, that small step was important to her.
There didn’t seem to be much else to say on that topic, at least that he’d want to hear, so Holly picked up her fork—again—and took another tasteless bite of her barbecue.
“I hear Sophia’s getting a horse for her birthday?” She tried to divert the conversation to something less tense.
Cash sat back. “How do you know about that?”
“Sophia told me.”
He choked out a laugh. “That little imp! It was supposed to be a surprise. I wonder how she found out.”
Holly grinned. It was good to see him smiling, though the dimples that showed up did things to her insides she’d rather not acknowledge. “Carter didn’t seem too surprised when she said it.”
“Huh. Guess I’ll have to talk with my sister then.”
Holly laughed, and they both fell silent. He took a bite of brisket and chewed thoughtfully. After a few minutes, he focused back on her. “Sophia loved your horse, Mischief.”
Holly grinned. “She’s certainly excited about getting her own horse. Where is she tonight?”
“Sleeping over at my parents’ house, which she loves. Even before Georgia died, they took Sophia a lot. She’s their only grandchild.”
“I’m sure they enjoy spoiling her.”
Cash grinned again, those darn dimples teasing her. “She loves to let them.”
“I bet.” Holly peeled her gaze off the sexy dimples and took another bite as she debated whether or not to ask him about Sophia. She’d been poking at him enough already. She should just leave it alone.
“What?”
Cash’s question broke into her internal waffling.
Holly raised her eyes and looked around her. “What, what?”
“You’re thinking of asking me something.” He said it without question, as a statement. “So, ask…”
Holly opened her mouth but didn’t say anything for a second. Most people couldn’t read her like that. Ever. Not even Grams when she was a kid. But Cash seemed to have some kind of sixth sense where she was concerned. She snapped her mouth shut. Holly unconsciously tapped her fork against her plate as she thought about how to word her question.
“I’ve noticed that you and your family all seem…surprised, I guess…when Sophia laughs or hugs me, or things like that. I was wondering why.”
Cash grimaced then stared at his plate. “Ever since her mama died, Sophia’s been different. She used to be this little happy-go-lucky chatterbox. Since the wreck, she’s closed in on herself.”
Much like her daddy.
He glanced up and trapped her with his blue-eyed gaze. “The first time I’d heard her laugh since that day was in the grocery store with you.”
Holly didn’t know what to say to that. “Oh.”
Cash’s mouth tilted up in a sexy half-smile, a dimple flirting with her again but not quite coming out. “Maybe you cast a spell on her.”
Holly rolled her eyes. “I’m nothin’ special. Sophia was just ready to start communicating again, or maybe I remind her of Georgia in some good way. Healing comes in different forms and at different paces for all people.”
Cash shook his head slowly. “No. There’s something about you that draws people in and sets them at ease. Like with the animals. What did Marcus say they call you? A witch doctor?” He cocked his head. “I think they might be right. Remember when you helped tutor me for chemistry?”
She blinked. “I thought you’d forgotten about that.”
He shook his head. “I always found you easy to be with. And suddenly chemistry made sense.”
Oh. She’d been friend-zoned even as she’d been drooling over him. Not that she should worry about that anymore.
His gaze trailed over her face, pausing at her lips. Suddenly, she could almost feel his kiss again. The way he’d held her so close to his body in the parking lot that night.
Mentally, Holly started to backpedal. “Do you know how that rumor got started?”
Cash raised his eyebrows. “What rumor? Oh, that you’re a witch doctor with animals? No.”
Holly grinned. “I was out at the Sheffields’ looking over one of their horses when a bull managed to knock over a loose fence post and get into the paddock with us.”
“Not Bull Frog?”
“That’s the one.”
Cash whistled. “He’s a mean s.o.b. Always has been. What happened?”
“It was the oddest thing. I froze and stayed very still. I was too far from a fence to run for it—he’d have beaten me there. He looked at me, then he sort of trotted over.”
Cash sat forward, all ears.
“He wasn’t angry or aggressive, so I—stupidly, thinking about it now—reached out and petted him. He seemed to like it. Very slowly, I inched my way to the fence, petting him all the way, until I got him back through the knocked-down section. One of the hands followed and rigged the fence so he couldn’t get out, and I then climbed back over.”
Cash blew out a low whistle as he leaned back. “I can see why they call you a witch doctor. I hear most of the hands won’t go near that bull.”
It was Holly’s turn to grimace. “It was the craziest thing I’ve ever done, but I didn’t have much choice. Honestly, I was just really lucky.” She grinned. “Apparently I had some kind of effect, though. Sam Sheffield informed me a few weeks later that Bull Frog has been as docile as a lamb since then.”
Cash tossed his head back and laughed. A deep, rumbling sound that rolled along her nerve endings. Just the fact that she’d managed to pull that reaction out of him—especially when she’d believed he’d hate her forever—tugged at her heart. His amusement proved contagious, and Holly giggled with him. She looked down and realized that they’d finished eating, or at least he had.
Sobering, she stood. “Time to go, I guess.”
She felt Cash’s gaze follow her as she threw away her trash and stowed the tray.
“I’ll walk you to your truck.” He joined her.
“Thanks.”
Thankfully the rain had stopped, leaving the streets glistening, the sounds of dripping from the trees and roofs plopping all around them. They crossed the street in silence as thick as the humidity in the air. Hyperaware didn’t begin describe her sense of him beside her—his warmth, the spicy scent of his aftershave. The heat inside her suddenly had nothing to do with the warm May evening.
The feed store was closed by now, so they headed through the alley that took them to the back, where her truck was parked. The gap between the walls narrowed, forcing them to walk single file. Cash waved her ahead of him, but as she moved, she brushed up against him.
He swore under his breath right before his hand circled her wrist, pulling her around to face him. Her gaze collided with his, and suddenly she knew he was feeling the same fire she was. Holly backed up a step, but the space was so tight, she backed right into the wall. Cash followed, placing his hands on either side of her, effectively caging her in his arms, but not touching.
“What is it about you?” he murmured.
Holly shook her head, saying nothing.
“You’re not using some kind of spell on me like you did with poor ol’ Bull Frog, are you?”
Her lips twitched. She shook her head again.
“I promised myself—” He closed his eyes. “After Georgia, I promised myself I’d never get tangled up with a woman again. Especially not you.”
Cash opened his eyes, and she reeled with the heady combination of longing and need reflected in those blue depths.
He tucked a strand of her long hair behind her ear. His lips quirked. “I like the pink streak.” He glanced down. “And the toes. Green tonight?”
She nodded dumbly.
He trailed his fingertip softly down her jaw. “Tell me to walk away. To leave you alone,” he whispered.
But Holly couldn’t. She wanted whatever came next too much.
With a groan, he lowered his head and slanted his mouth over hers. The kiss started out as a sweet exploration but swiftly escalated to a level that clenched her gut and had her heart pounding like that of a trapped animal. Her hands fluttered up to his belt, where she latched on.
The balmy night air caressed her sweat-slicked skin, and her breath mingled with his as they broke apart and came back together again and again. Holly was giddy with the feel of him.
His hand moved to her waist, where he slowly pulled her shirt out of her belt then swept underneath and up, exploring the smooth skin of her stomach, tickling her ribs, inching slowly upward. The brush of his fingers lingered and teased just under her breast.
Holly shuddered and felt his smile against her lips. He continued to kiss her as though she were the very air he needed to live. That wandering hand moved down to her hip, and he pulled her even closer in to his body. His hard length rubbed her through their clothes and, if anything, she was even more turned on.
After a good long while, Cash pulled back to gaze deep in her eyes. That’s when sanity slapped her in the face.
She was falling for Cash Hill.
Not like the hero-worship crush in high school, but a deeper emotion. The love a woman had for a man. She had no idea when or how it had started, but while his kisses sent her spinning, his hot and cold actions left her confused. Georgia would always be between them. Besides, she already knew she was wrong for the single father—she wasn’t mother material. The whole damn town knew that only too well.
No. She couldn’t do this. If she could fall in love in such a short time, then she damn well could fall out of it.
Holly pushed him away, and Cash stumbled back. She registered the surprise in his eyes but ignored it.
“I can’t do this.” She scooted away rapidly, sliding along the wall.
He held out a hand to her. “Wait.”
Holly shook her head. “No. This was a mistake. I—” She clenched her hands at her sides. There was no way to explain this to him. Cash was a cowboy and a lawman. He’d need tangible, logical reasoning. All her reasons were driven by her emotions.
He lifted his hat, brushing his hair back. “A mistake,” he muttered.
He seemed to rethink what they’d just done. The coolness returned to his eyes. That was a start, but better she put a full stop to this now.
“Yes.” She took a deep breath and said words guaranteed to make him run. “I can’t kiss my best friend’s husband. Not with everything I know.”
Cash stilled and tensed. Everything about him turned to granite.
Instinctively, Holly reached out, but he jerked away from her. “Cash?”
He pinned her with a look somewhere between deadened and furious. “Don’t.”
“But I—”
He held up his hands. “Just…don’t.”
Holly’s heart cracked. Now that she’d said it, she wished she could take it back.
Silently, he turned and walked away, back down the alley in the opposite direction.
Holly walked the rest of the way to her truck and got in, not even closing the door. Just sat there for a long while, surrounded by the sweet, earthy scent of the Coastal Bermuda hay in the back of her truck. A scent she usually found comforting, but not tonight.
All she could see was the anger in Cash’s eyes as he’d run away. From her.
And this time, she’d made him run. To protect both of them from a bad idea, yes, but that didn’t dull the pain inside her heart any. Love could make you do stupid things. So could guilt. She was Exhibit A.