Chapter 3

The White House didn’t intimidate Gabe, because he’d been on the vice presidential protection detail, but as he drove into the compound, he experienced the same sense of loss he’d felt when he’d been here helping Isabelle. He pushed away the negativity. This time, his visit was about starting over.

At a side entrance, he was escorted in by a younger agent who called him sir. Gabe took a deep breath and followed the new guy to the Oval Office. When he reached it, the agent stationed out front knocked on the door, and Gabe heard, “Come in.”

Being escorted inside seemed odd. The president sat behind the big oak desk, backdropped by three windows that let in the sun. Broad-shouldered, fit and resembling his sister with his green eyes and blond hair, he smiled. Seemingly mild mannered, Manwaring was a force of nature, which was why his code name was Pit Bull. “Good morning, Gabe.”

“Good morning, sir.”

“Take a seat.” He motioned to the leather chairs that faced the desk, and when Gabe dropped down on one, President Manwaring leaned forward. “You said this was about the training center.”

“It is. Seth Lincoln, my top man, my second-in-command who I’ve purposely trained to be able to step in for me, can’t take the director’s job.”

“Why?”

“His wife has breast cancer.” He explained the situation.

“God, that’s awful.”

“Yes, I know. And I don’t want to sound insensitive, but we have to discuss how this affects my plans.”

“Surely, there’s someone else up to speed.”

“Yes, Marilyn Higgins. I also just found out she’s pregnant. And it’s high risk since she’s over forty. So she won’t be taking over, either.” She’d also told Gabe she needed a few weeks off her feet and wouldn’t even start with the new class.

“You’re scheduled to be coming on my detail next week.”

“That’s not enough time to train another person at the center. There’s a third guy, Dave Franklin, who’s great, but he’s never been in charge of a class. He did say if Seth can’t come back when the current training is over, he’ll take the position temporarily.”

“Shit.”

“My sentiments were a lot more graphic.”

“I’ll bet. But Gabe—”

Gabe held up his hand. “Let me stop you, Mr. President, so you don’t have to say it. I know I can’t take the PPD. I can’t let the training fall to someone inexperienced.” God, this next part was hard. “And I don’t want Nick to have to continue. Especially with the news that Isabelle is having more babies.”

Manwaring’s eyes gave a brief flicker of pleasure at his sister’s second pregnancy.

“I also don’t expect you to hold the position open for me. I have to stay at the center for almost five months, and that’s too long for a substitute.”

The president shook his head. “You know, Gabe, I’m not sure how I ever let you out of Washington. You’re one of the most unselfish agents I’ve known.”

Yeah, and look where that got me. “Thank you, sir. This is tough.”

“I imagine. Now, here’s my decision.”

Gabe leaned into the back of the chair, like a man about to be told he was going to the gallows.

* * *

Simon hurled his basketball against the back of the house, wishing Gabe was out here with him. But Gabe was going away. Just like everybody went away. Even his father. Simon remembered what his dad said the last time he’d left them. Simon had only been five but remembered acting crazy sometimes.

You have to step up, son. Stop this behavior nonsense.

His father didn’t get that he couldn’t make himself stop.

But Gabe did. I know you have a hard time behaving. Maybe I can help with that.

But Gabe was leaving.

“Simon?”

He saw Gabe come into the yard. His heart got excited. Shit. He didn’t want to be glad to see him.

Gabe got closer. “Can we talk?”

Simon shrugged.

They were near the picnic table under a tree, so Gabe sat down on the top. It was bitchin’ hot out. Simon moved into the shade but didn’t sit.

“I know you’re sad that I’m going to work in D.C. But I told you I’m only forty minutes away.”

“I saw it on the Internet.”

“What?”

“How guarding the president works. You travel a lot.”

“Yes, I will. But I’d have time off, too.”

“Maybe you should go away Monday and leave us alone.”

Gabe got really serious. “I won’t do that, Simon. What’s more, I’ll be staying on for the next class, which means I’ll be in Maryland for almost five more months.”

“You’re not going right away?”

“No, and I’d like you to consider spending time with me while I’m still here.”

“You going after that?”

“I am. The president agreed to let me work at the training center here in town until this new class is completed. He’s insisting another agent take my place guarding him temporarily. But when I do leave, maybe you and I can set up a schedule to make sure we see each other.”

Simon didn’t know what to do. So he yanked some leaves off the tree and shredded them. Finally, he said, “I’ll think about it.” Then he ran into the house. He wanted bad to be with Gabe, but maybe he shouldn’t. Adults let you down.

* * *

Macy had been watching from the window and went into the yard when she saw her son jog off. Busy at the restaurant, she hadn’t seen Gabe arrive. She crossed to where he sat on the picnic table. A sliver of sun cut through trees and beamed off his dark hair, highlighting a few strands of gray. “Hi, there. What’s going on?”

Gabe raked his hand through that hair. She liked that he wore it longer than when he’d been on a detail. But he’d have to cut it again soon. His expression was lighter today. “I have some news. I came around back when I heard Simon hitting the wall with the basketball. Maybe I should have asked you first if I could talk to him.”

“No, no, I trust you. What’s your news?”

“I saw the president.”

“Come sit over here. It’s more comfortable.” She’d bought an umbrella table and placed the set closer to the house. They took seats. “Is your news good?”

“Yep. President Manwaring said he’d save my spot until the new trainee class is over.”

She felt something inside her loosen. He’d be here until right before Christmas. She tried to tell herself her delight was because she wouldn’t have to deal with his absence from Simon’s life yet, but her reaction was more than that. The feminine side of her rejoiced. “Oh, Gabe, this is wonderful.”

“I can’t believe he’d wait for me.”

“You need to understand how valuable you are, Agent Marino.”

“You’re good for my ego, Mrs. Stevens.”

She laughed.

He smiled.

They held each other’s gazes.

“So,” she finally said, breaking the silent communique. “Simon wasn’t happy?”

“Simon wouldn’t let himself be happy. I don’t blame him. He allowed me into his life, now I tell him I’m leaving.” Reaching out, he covered Macy’s hand. “I’m sorry. I never expected to get anything other than a training position.”

“I’m not sorry. You’ve been a godsend with Simon since Spike died, more than he ever was.”

Gabe’s brows rose.

Oops. She’d carefully avoided any revelations about Spike as a father—or as a husband.

“I didn’t know he and Spike had problems.”

“I didn’t want you to know, Gabe.” She glanced away as she felt herself flush. “I’m embarrassed I told you now.”

“Why? Whatever caused that couldn’t have been your fault.”

She looked over Gabe’s shoulder remembering…

What the fuck is wrong with the kid? I never signed on for this, you know.

Macy, maybe we should send him away.

And then, It was a fling, Mace. Nothing serious. I’m gone so much, and when I’m here, we’re always so busy with the kid…

“Macy, where’d you go?”

“To bad memories.”

“Want to talk about them?”

“God, no. What’s worse than a woman complaining about her husband?”

“A husband giving her reason to complain.”

“You always say the right thing.”

“I’m usually right, where you’re concerned.”

She slid back her chair. Mostly because she wanted to confess all and throw herself into his arms. “I’ll get us lemonade. You can tell me all about your meeting with Jimmy.”

When she passed him, he grabbed her hand, held it in his strong, safe one. “I’m here for you. And I will be when I go to D.C.”

She squeezed back. “Thanks.”

* * *

In order to stay fit for the PPD, Gabe planned to keep up with the workout he’d established when he’d first been offered the job. He cross-trained every day, picking different exercises. Before joining Macy and Simon later at an amusement park, he’d gone to the center this Saturday morning.

Hopping on a bicycle, he began his trek over the acreage. Gabe had sprung for a top-of-the-line bike. A versatile, sporty design that was comfortable and gave a smooth ride. Excellent steering response and oval handlebars combined with disc brakes completed the package.

As always, he started out slow. One thing he held as creed was warming up and cooling down. A lot of men in training suffered strained muscles and pulled tendons from not adequately preparing for exercise. Women usually did this right.

The end-of-August day was hot. He was keeping up the easy pace, thinking of the president and how he’d supported Gabe, when another bicycle flew past him. Unusual, though the trainees had been given their passes this week so they could work out on the grounds. He got a glimpse of blond hair, but that could indicate more than one of them.

Dismissing him, Gabe began to accelerate. In a mile, he’d reached top capacity, breathing hard and sweating. He’d gone another mile when he saw someone up ahead. The person who’d flown by him. On the ground. He skidded to a halt.

Clay Langston lay in the grass, holding his calf. And moaning. Sweat saturated him. Gabe dropped down on one knee. “What’s wrong, Langston?”

“Got a cramp. Ahhhhhhhhhhh…”

Leg cramps were debilitating. “Let me do it.” He replaced Langston’s hands with his own. Began to knead the hard muscle.

“Jesus, that hurts more.”

“Give it a minute.”

The kid’s face was contorted. Gabe continued to knead until the spasm eased. “Now get up.”

“Not yet.”

“Now. You have to walk it off. And I have to move or I’ll be in the same position as you.” He reached out his hand.

Langston took it and struggled to his feet. They began to walk, more like a hobble for the trainee.

“God, that hurts.”

“Do you know what happened?”

He ducked his head. “Yeah. I didn’t warm up like you did.”

“Right. There might be times when you have to sprint on the job, but when you work out in order to stay in shape, you have to be kind to your body.”

“Yes, sir.”

Gabe wondered if he was being sarcastic but decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. They went farther.

Finally, Gabe said, “Let’s go back.”

When the pain finally subsided, Langston’s face relaxed. “I’m exercising every day so I can keep up when classes start.”

“Good. As I said, you’ll have to do that as long as you’re an agent.”

The trainee stopped, so Gabe did, too. “Will I be an agent?”

“Here’s what I think. Most people can do what they really want to do, with some obvious exceptions. You’re healthy, you’re young, and appear physically able to do the job. Mentally, that’s another story.”

“What do you mean?”

“You gotta want it, Clay.” He purposely used the young man’s first name.

“I do.”

“So you said before. I’m waiting till you prove that to me.”

A mask came down, like the one the trainee had donned that day in his office. Gabe reached out and squeezed his shoulder. “But you can also prove me wrong. More so, you can show yourself you can become an agent. So, to answer your question, yeah, I think you can do this.”

When they parted, Gabe watched Langston stumble off. Once again, he thought of Simon. Huh.

* * *

Feeling sluggish because she’d been inconsistent in taking her morning walks over the summer and going to classes, Macy went to her gym before taking Simon to the amusement park. She needed an outlet. Pilates was just the thing. So she stood on the mat in front of the instructor in a sports-bra-type top and cropped leggings.

The instructor began the class. In a perky voice, she said, “Stand straight, feet together, hands at side. We’re going to connect our breath with the exercise to get the most benefit.”

Macy remembered the routine from this class and from yoga, which the gym also provided. Soon, she got in the zone.

“Now, inhale up from the belly button into ribs and slowly release. Do that three more times.”

Macy followed directions, glad she had to concentrate on something other than her own life.

“Now, let your arms hang down…flex, release, flex, release. Keep going. Remember that the goal of Pilates is to use our whole body as the weight instead of barbells or machines.”

Soon the movements got harder, more physical. “Lie flat on your back. Knees bent. Slowly lift your torso off the ground.” Macy remembered yogis called this bridge pose.

“Now, extend one leg and hold it out for ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five…” Macy had to lower her leg before the woman got to one.

She was wiped long before the class ended so she stretched out on the floor to rest. While everyone else kept going, she noticed the other people in the room. She recognized one. Carrie Conrad, Simon’s teacher. The woman who’d flirted with Gabe.

After enough downtime, Macy put extra oomph into the next routine. She turned on her side, drew up knees, arm crooked, head in hand. Raised top leg parallel to bottom one.

By the end of class, Macy felt a hundred years old as they stretched and cooled down. Instead of the exercise making her feel better, she was disappointed in herself. She was still lying on the floor when someone came to stand over her.

“Macy, nice to see you.”

“As soon as I can breathe, I’ll say hello.” Turning on her side, she boosted herself up with her hands to a sitting position. “Hi, Carrie.”

The woman dropped down across from her. Perky as hell in a tank top and skinny shorts, Carrie looked healthy and fit. “I haven’t seen you here before.”

“I’ve been busy. Today, I more than regret my absence.”

“Busy with that handsome guy you brought to school?”

She swallowed hard. “Um, yeah. Some.”

You never flirt back.

Should I flirt more?

Oh, God. She realized she was going to mislead Simon’s teacher about her own relationship with Gabe.

* * *

“You’re gonna kill me, kid.” Gabe rose from his seat on a bench where he’d insisted they take a break. Macy was next to him. “Does it have to be the flume?” The ride at Breezy Waters Amusement Park, where the cars zipped up and down canals and splashed water into the seats and onto the patrons. At least it was August, so getting wet was something to look forward to.

“Come on, old man.”

Plopping his hands on his hips, Gabe decided to tease since the boy seemed amenable. “How come Mom gets to sit out?”

“Because she got sick on this ride the last time and hurled.”

Gabe frowned at the thought of Macy ill on the Flume, but she smiled up at him. From beneath a baseball cap emblazoned with Orioles, her freckles stood out in the bright light of day. “Sorry.” She didn’t seem sorry. She took a book out of her purse. “I’m gonna read another chapter.”

“Yuck.”

“Why’d you say that, Simon?” Gabe asked.

“Mom reads romance novels. All kissy face and stuff.”

She chuckled. “And stuff.”

He couldn’t help himself. She was so cute. Seemed so young today. So carefree. “Hmm. That bears thinking about. It’s a side of your mom I am totally unacquainted with.”

“Get out of here, you guys.”

He and Simon started off. The boy often didn’t like to be touched, but Gabe noticed he walked close enough to bump arms. He’d been pleased when Simon texted him…

Okay.

Okay what?

We can hang out. You know, until…

That makes me happy Simon. How about tomorrow?

Can we go to Breezy Waters?

Only if I can pick the rides.

No way.

Which was how they’d ended up here. Heading toward the flume.

As they waited in line, Simon busied himself with one of the displays off to the side and Gabe thought of Macy, back in the shade. Reading a romance novel. He knew about those books from Isabelle, who was a staunch defender of the genre. She said they empowered women: that they showed the female sex making their own way in the world, getting what they needed from men. And, yes, there was lots of sex.

It was the latter Gabe was unable to put out of his mind. For God’s sake, he was standing here with her kid amidst tons of other kids, thinking about making love.

When they reached the top of the line, Simon choose the first row, of course, which was empty because only fools asked to be drowned. The little craft rocked unsteadily as they stepped in.

“Isn’t it great we got up front?”

“Yeah, great.”

The first incline was small, a tease, but the turn was sharp, sending them to the edges of the car. Simon hooted. Gabe guessed he could withstand a little water to hear the joy in Simon’s voice.

Two more inclines, each bigger than the next. Water splashed into the car, wetting their feet. Gabe had purposely worn deck shoes and dressed in clothes that would dry fast in the sun. Simon stomped his foot in the little puddle, sending even more water onto them both.

Finally, the largest peak yet, and from the bottom of the incline, it appeared threatening.

Gabe said, “I dunno, Simon, you might have to hold my hand.”

“No way, man. We’re letting go of the bar.”

Gabe chuckled and let go of the bar. He was still laughing when he stepped off the ride with a dripping Simon, equally wet but content.

* * *

The weather was hot, but a breeze sifted through the trees. Macy sat in a comfortable chair under a big oak. She picked up the novel one of the female agents at the training center had brought in for her. They’d traded books for years, but recently, Anna had starting reading romance novels. This time she’d supplied Macy with a boxful, and in her haste to leave the house today, Macy had reached in and picked out one without checking the novel’s content. In the Line of Fire. A romance with a Secret Service agent as the hero. Not surprising because her friend worked with agents all the time.

But also not a good idea. So not a good idea. Gabe was all male today. In the absence of worry and tension, and in the pleasure of Simon asking to see him, he was at home in a red V-neck T-shirt and black shorts with a red stripe. His legs were corded with muscle and his chest ripped, she could tell through the light material. When she first met him, he was wearing the classic Secret Service suit, and now, the navy polo shirt worn with khaki slacks or shorts at the training center. Once in a while, she’d seen him in running clothes or dress outfits, like at school night.

School night. Had he called Carrie? No, or Carrie wouldn’t have asked about him this morning when Macy had practically lied to the teacher. She was embarrassed to have done so. The thing was, she knew she was attracted to Gabe, wished they could have a relationship. So she sometimes succumbed to that side of herself.

Back to the book. This guy worked in the Threat Assessment Center, a safer position, like Whitney, Gabe’s cousin, did. Why couldn’t Gabe go for something like that? The hero was divorced and trying to get his wife back.

Soon, she was engrossed and had read the first twenty pages before she heard, “Mo-om,” and saw Simon running toward her. Gabe jogged behind, all athletic grace. “We got soaked, Mom.”

Even his hair was wet. Gabe’s, too, so it looked darker.

“I know, baby. That’s why I brought extra clothes.”

“Gabe’s are already drying. He said he could get me some of the same kind.”

“We can afford new clothes, honey.”

A frown. “I want Gabe to.”

Gabe knelt down in front of him. “Hey, buddy. I’d be glad take you shopping. But your Mom has the last say in this.” He glanced at her with apology for causing a reaction in her son. “You think maybe you should talk more gently to her?”

“Yeah, I guess.” Her son turned to her with real apology in his eyes. Simon was a good boy underneath, who couldn’t control his emotions sometimes. “Sorry, Mom.”

“I accept your apology.”

He pointed to a little pond with ducks in it. “Can I feed the ducks?” The abrupt mood shift was common with his disorder.

“Sure. We bought some bread. Go ahead.”

They moved to a picnic table where she could better keep an eye on him.

Gabe plunked down next to her. “Sorry, Mace. I never know what’s going to set him off.”

“Me, either. But he’s a lot better today, no sulking. He missed you.”

“Same goes for me.” He pulled out a bottle of water from the backpack he’d brought. “Want some?”

“I’ll have a sip.”

After, he took it back, and when he put the rim to his mouth, she was entranced by his lips replacing hers.

Damn that romance novel.

* * *

Gabe understood why Simon had asked for him to read him a story before bed, which Macy usually did, when the boy took the book away from him. “I got a question.”

“Is that why you asked me in here?”

“I guess.”

“You don’t have to make up excuses for wanting some alone time with me, Simon.”

“Okay.”

“So, shoot.”

“You know Mom reads those books. That have kissing and stuff in them.”

“Yeah.”

“What’s the stuff all about?”

Oh, Lord. Simon was ten and hadn’t had a father in five years. Would Macy have talked to him about all this? What to say?

“Gabe?”

He went on his gut. “The stuff, as I think you either know or suspect, is sex.”

“Yeah, I know about it. We learned about all that in health class, and when Mom found out, she talked to me. But, Gabe, she’s a girl.”

He remembered when his father delivered the facts of life to him. He was about Simon’s age and wouldn’t have wanted to hear the details from Deidre. His mother had let it go then, but when Gabe wanted to start dating, she intervened and insisted on being part of the conversation. She also gave him condoms.

“Mom’s very wise in the ways of the world, son. But if you need a man to talk to, I’m him. What do you want to know?”

“Is the…you know…doing it fun?”

“Of course it is.”

“Aren’t you embarrassed?”

“No, because sex will happen, hopefully, between you and someone you care about. There’s no shame in physical contact. You’ll want to be close like that.”

“What if something goes wrong?”

Gabe chuckled, thinking about his first sexual encounter. He wasn’t going to lie to the boy. “It probably will the first few times. But as I said, if you care about the person you’re with, you can talk about what happened.”

Simon’s eyebrows flew up. “Talk about sex with a girl?”

“Uh-huh. Verbalizing your feelings will be hard, but you’ll get the hang of it. Remember, though, you both have to care about each other.” He kept repeating that mantra but it was important.

“The guys at school call it getting off.” He hesitated. “With or without girls.”

“Ah. Simon, do you know anything about getting off without a girl?”

“Sort of.”

“You can ask me questions.”

“No, you just describe how it’s done. Then I’ll know for sure.”

He remembered telling Nick about masturbating. Could he do it with Simon?

At the anticipation on the boy’s face, he realized he had no choice.

* * *

Macy scrubbed the wall of her bedroom while Gabe was with Simon. She wanted to paint another mural, here in her own private space. Mostly, though, she was getting rid of too much energy. Sexual energy.

The romance novel had thrown her off-kilter. When she got to the couple’s first kiss in the book, she couldn’t help but picture Gabe in the place of Aaron and her as Judith.

Gabe had never kissed her. Of course he hadn’t. They were friends and they were going to stay friends if it killed her. But the thing was, his presence around here had erased all the resistance she’d built up over the years. He was lethal to her peace of mind.

“What are you doing? It’s ten at night.”

She turned to find Gabe in the doorway. “I have to take advantage of the time off I have. I want to paint this wall tomorrow.”

He studied the surface. “What’s this one going to be?”

She pointed to the paper on the dresser. He crossed to it and she wondered what he thought about the ocean-view scene. “You’re so talented. This is beautiful.”

“I always wanted to live by the water.”

“I didn’t know that.” A pause. “Nick and Isabelle have a place on a lake nearby. We should go there sometime.”

She kept washing so she didn’t have to look at him. “Sure. How’s Simon?”

“I can help with this, you know.”

“No, I want to do this house by myself.” She glanced over. “Simon?”

“Well, seems like your romance novels, which were a surprise to me, I must say, got him thinking about sex.”

He’s not the only one. “Lord.” She put down the cloth, moved to the bed. She sat, scooted back and crossed her legs. “Make yourself comfortable on the bed.”

A very male chuckle. “It’s been a long time since a beautiful woman said that to me.”

He thought she was beautiful in her painting clothes, her hair windblown and turning curly?

After he leaned up against the headboard and stretched out, he smiled. “Don’t worry. You’re not being a neglectful parent. He said you talked to him.”

“And the school had a presentation and discussion with the psychologist about sex.”

“I know. But he wanted details.”

“What kind of details?”

Gabe’s face reddened.

“Are you blushing?”

“Maybe. It was a very personal discussion.”

“I’ll bet.”

“About masturbation.”

She laughed. “I never thought to talk about that. I wonder if the school did.”

“He wanted to know if he understood how to do it right.”

“Good for him.”

“I told him.”

She raised a brow.

“When I was fifteen and Nick was ten, we had a similar discussion. Mama and Pa talked to all the kids, but there were some things that came easier from a brother.”

“Did you ever talk to Whitney about this?”

Now he laughed aloud. It was full and throaty and very masculine. “I’m afraid so. I was twenty when she and Connor turned ten. They’d waited till I came home one time, to ask questions that they were embarrassed to ask Mama or Pa.”

Tears clouded her eyes.

“What’s wrong, Mace?”

“Every time I think you can’t get any nicer, any more unselfish, there’s something else I discover about you. It makes me emotional.”

“Why…thank you.”

“I hate that you’re going away.” She didn’t mean to blurt that out. She’d promised herself she’d never tell him her true feelings. But his story had filled her with yearning.

His face darkened. “Why won’t you believe me that I’m not going away? I’ll always be here for you.”

“Because I’m afraid to believe that.”

He reached over and tugged her beside him, slid his arm around her and pressed her head to his shoulder. “I promise you, Mace. I promise.”

Macy buried her face in his strong, solid chest because she was afraid she’d confess something more.