Thomas

Thomas paced the kitchen anxiously, his bare feet eating up futile miles that meant nothing at all. What did one say to their fiancé after she put her twin sister in place to do something she didn’t have the courage to do herself?

His head whipped around as the front door creaked open and closed just as gently. His pace faltered as he braced himself for the storm to end all storms. This was it. It was really over.

Evie appeared in the kitchen a minute later. Her normally pale skin was ashen. She stared at the floor, rather than meet his eye. Her hands, which he noticed were shaking, were soon tucked firmly in front of her, fingers woven together tightly. She wasn’t wearing her ring, the ring she’d taken off and put on the finger of her twin sister.

“You’re a coward,” Thomas hissed. He figured preamble or small talk wasn’t worth it. It was probably best if he cut right to the chase. He was right. Evie’s eyes slowly met his as she looked up.

“Me? If I’m a coward, then what does that make you?”

What indeed? “I never claimed to be perfect.” He took care to moderate his voice, so as not to frighten Evie. He’d made someone a promise that he’d keep his head straight and he meant to honor his word, even if she didn’t deserve it. “I never wanted any of this to happen, but you were planning on leaving before the accident. Why didn’t you? Instead, you went through hell with me and barely came out the other side. We were like two dead things, existing because we had to.”

Her composure faltered and she shook her head sadly. “I would do it differently if I could have, but put yourself in my shoes. How would it look if I walked out on you after you were so badly burned? It would have killed you and it would have made our friends and family so ashamed.”

“So instead you did the honorable thing and stuck with me. Even when you could barely stand to look at me.”

“Yes,” she hissed, her emotion rising, color flooding her cheeks. “Yes, I stayed. I stayed through it all.”

“And you expect what? A medal? A congratulation? A badge of honor?”

“A thank you would have been sufficient. It would have been, but I know you’re not thankful. You’re not thankful you survived at all. I wanted to up and leave, but I was afraid of what it would do to you.”

“Afraid of what it would do to me or afraid of what people would think?”

Evie crossed her arms. Her eyes burned with the intensity of her disdain for him. She’d never looked at him like that, never with outright hatred, and it rocked him to the core. “It’s the same thing. We both know that. My sister-”

“Leave your sister out of this,” Thomas growled. His hands closed into fists at his sides.

“I was going to say, my sister had the idea to switch places. She had this ridiculous notion that she could help you.”

“And that’s ridiculous? Kindness? Compassion?”

“No. The fact that she thought you were worth it. We both know differently, though don’t we, Tom. You’re so far beyond that. So am I. We were beyond it before the accident ever happened.”

“Maybe you were. It was different for me.”

“Was it? You hadn’t touched me in weeks. Months.”

“Because you didn’t want me to! I still loved you, Evie. I remember waking up in the hospital. I didn’t care about the pain I was in. That’s all anyone asked me about. Pain management. How much pain are you in today? This is going to be painful. I’ve brought your pain medication. All of it- it never mattered because I thought, I hoped against hope, that we could come out of it and fix this. Fix us.”

“So maybe the fact that I was there did bring you through it. I’m happy to hear it. I don’t want to be a bad person, Thomas. I don’t, but you turn me into one. This, us… I don’t want it anymore. I haven’t loved you for a long time.”

“So why didn’t you leave then? Before the accident? There was time. We both know that.” Eve’s eyes flickered away and two identical spots of color rode high on her cheekbones. He had his answer before he even asked. “This. All of this. It was the only thing that mattered to you. This house, the things, your clothes, the car… what I could provide. The money. You stayed because you didn’t want to give it all up.”

“Yes, alright? Yes, that was part of the reason, but only part. It was also because I didn’t know how to end it. I knew I’d hurt you and that it would be a mess. I didn’t want that. I just kind of hoped that you had fallen out of love as well and we could walk away as adults.”

“As adults,” Thomas scoffed. “Right. That’s what we’re going to do right now. I’ll tell you how it’s going to be. Tomorrow you’re going to go to a lawyer and ask them to draw up papers splitting our assets down the middle. And by that, I mean you will keep this house, your car. Everything that mattered so much to you and I will keep the same dollar value for those assets. The remaining money will be split down the middle. You can go and do it with my blessing.”

“Why would you do that?”

“It’s yours by law. We lived together long enough. I figured I’d save us both the time and hassle of battling it out in court. This shit, the house, the car, all this stuff, it doesn’t mean a thing to me. I would rather invest my efforts at putting my life back together into something that truly matters.”

Thomas took a step forward and Evie backed up. He paused when he saw the flare of fear in her eyes. It cut him, wounded him deeply. Did she really ever think he could hurt her? He loved her. Or at least, he thought he did. Now he wasn’t sure. He wasn’t sure who it was he truly loved at all.

Della’s eyes, so very different than Evie’s though they were the same pale blue and size, flashed through his mind. Della looked exactly like her sister, yet she couldn’t be more different if she tried. He thought that he’d fallen in love with Evie all over again after that day in the kitchen. Maybe he’d just fallen in love period.

“I… I don’t know what to say,” Evie mumbled. Guilt settled in on her face. The fact that she’d so blatantly chosen material things over what he thought and felt couldn’t sit well.

“Just say goodbye, Evie. I’ll make this as painless for you as I possibly can. We don’t both deserve to live in hell, after all.”

“And my sister?”

“What about your sister?”

The hair on the back of Thomas’ neck and arms stood on end. A strange, protective instinct stabbed him right in the gut. His heart beat a little faster in his chest. He blinked and in that split second of darkness, he saw Della. Saw her bending in the kitchen, wrapping her arms around him, telling him he was safe and she was there and he was going to make it through his living hell. he saw her defending him in that store when they’d gone to buy dishes, her hand in his at her parent’s house, the hope in her eyes when she’d found a therapist she thought could help. Finally, he saw her as he’d seen her earlier that afternoon. Making love to him, face beautifully screwed up in the throes of passion. She’d touched him, adored him, tasted and caressed and loved each and every single scar that was a part of him now.

Evie shrugged. “She’s a mess. She came back to her apartment to tell me what happened. Sobbing. I’ve never seen her like this.”

“I didn’t mean to hurt her.”

He was surprised when she rolled her eyes callously. “Get over yourself. You didn’t hurt her at all. She hurt herself. She told me that she’s loved you since she met you. All these years we were together, she secretly wanted you… or something. I don’t even know. It’s weird to think about. I don’t even know my own twin.”

Thomas shuddered. He couldn’t believe that Evie could be so callous. How was I ever in love with this woman? He felt like he’d been blinded by Evie’s charm, her beauty, her natural grace. The way she looked at him in the beginning, acted, felt… it had to have been real. He thought so, but he was no longer sure.

“Has this past year really made you so hard that you would say those things about your own sister?”

Evie blinked. She finally shrugged, her face a carefully composed mask that gave away nothing she was feeling. Maybe she felt nothing at all. It was hard to even tell.

“Look, Thomas, I’ll fix things with Della. Don’t worry about anyone finding out what happened. She already told me and I certainly won’t tell anyone. This is between the three of us.”

He nodded, only because he didn’t want to hurt Della any further. The anger he felt at having been tricked hadn’t faded entirely, but a slow understanding was starting to take its place. He’d seen the way Della looked at him. He knew that love was real. The tenderness, the understanding, the compassion, her soft heart. It was all real. She hadn’t meant to trick him or play him false. She truly was worried about him and she had every single right to be.

Without her intervention, Thomas didn’t know where he’d currently be. Probably at the bottom of another whisky bottle feeling damn sorry for himself for having lived at all.

Della would probably say she hadn’t done much, but she’d done everything. She was everything he needed. Without her, without those simple actions and genuine emotions, he knew he’d still be a mess. Probably worse than he was that day in the kitchen. He was just starting out on the road to recovery, but at least he was on his way instead of beating a fast pace to his own destruction.

“Tell her I’m sorry for being angry with her. I don’t want her to feel bad…”

“Feel bad? How can she not? This whole bad idea was hers. She just wanted to see what it would be like to be me for a couple days. She wanted to sleep-”

“Enough,” Thomas cut her off. “That’s enough. Please just leave. In the morning I’ll sign the house over to you. Find a lawyer and do it fast. Have them contact mine. You know who I’ll use.”

“Yes.” Evie nodded. “I know.”

The silence in the kitchen grew and stretched on, heavy and oppressive. “That’s it then. Tomorrow I’ll move out. I’ll find somewhere else. Welcome back to your life, Eve. You’ll have everything you ever wanted.”

She had the grace to look a little ashamed. Just a little, before she spun on a pair of ridiculously high heels and left. The front door slammed a moment later.

Thomas stood, glued to the floor, breathing heavily. He glanced around slowly. He didn’t know what he’d take with him. Nothing in here mattered to him. Nothing at all. There was not one thing he couldn’t live without.

At least not in the house.

Della.

He wanted to talk to her. To tell her he understood. That he forgave her and wanted her to move on and be happy. He couldn’t do that. At least not right now, not when it was all still so fresh and raw. He’d disappear. Start his life over somewhere else, somewhere no one would find him.

For the first time since the accident, he wasn’t running. He wasn’t hiding. He just wanted to be on his own, by himself. He could live with that now. Della’s plan, ridiculous or crazy as it might have been, had worked. She’d pointed him in the right direction, the direction of healing. The rest was up to him.