Chapter Eighteen
Harrison stood at the front of the group in the “old” stone church that had been built on the property. Actually, there had been a church there a few hundred years before. Granny had been ecstatic when she’d found out he was restoring it. Well, recreating it. There hadn’t been much left but a few broken down walls. At the time, he hadn’t been remotely happy about the added expense for a building whose only purpose was to serve as a tourist attraction for rabid fans from that book.
But now…it was perfect. A flawless recreation of the show version. The torch and candlelight flickered on the stone walls, casting their glow on the thick, lead-paned glass windows that let in the watery light from the evening sun. Every corner had been decked out with greenery and wild Highland flowers, and an almost tangible excitement ran through the “guests” as they stood, arrayed in their Scottish finery, waiting for the bride to arrive. He could almost believe that they’d stepped back in time a few hundred years.
The sun was briefly blocked out as Nicole entered through the small doorway, her voluminous dress filling the narrow space. She looked nervous, her eyes darting about until they landed on him. He didn’t know why she was anxious. She was as much of a crazy fan as the crowd spread around them. He’d have thought this would be the highlight of her trip. Stage fright maybe?
He gave her an encouraging smile, but although her gaze locked with his, her face paled another shade or two. He took a step toward her, his forehead creasing in a frown. When he took her hand in his to lead her the rest of the way, it was like he held a block of ice.
“Are you all right?” he whispered to her.
She nodded. He didn’t believe her. Something was going on.
They stood before the priest, a local actor his mother had hired. The man certainly looked the part, and sounded it as he opened his scripture and droned on for a minute in Latin. There were tremulous inhalations and even sniffles from the audience, and Harrison just resisted rolling his eyes. He tried to catch Nicole’s gaze again, share his secret amusement at the whole thing with her. She wouldn’t look at him though, aside from a few quick glances.
As the fake ceremony continued, Harrison’s amusement faded. Even having to ramble the ridiculously long name of that man didn’t quite kill the atmosphere. It didn’t feel fake anymore. He stood with the most beautiful woman in the world, before a priest, repeating vows that had been spoken between man and wife for centuries.
He should be panicking. Freaking out. Pretense or not it felt real enough that he should be quaking in his boots. But he wasn’t. He was calm. Collected.
Happy.
He’d never considered himself the marrying kind, but then he hadn’t met Nicole. She wasn’t anything he’d expected. She didn’t check any of the boxes on his mental list. And yet there he stood, her hand in his, repeating vows—the whole fake aspect not withstanding—and instead of cringing from the entire thing, he found that he liked the way it felt to be standing there with her. It felt good. Right.
It was time for Nicole-as-Claire to repeat her vows.
He stared into her eyes, waiting to see the same realization that he’d just had. Waiting to see the surprise, maybe. The happiness. The desire. Instead, he saw a mixture of emotions he couldn’t quite identify, mixed with sheer panic.
And then he saw the back of her head as she picked up her skirts and ran for it.
…
Nikki sank onto a bench in the garden. The pain radiating from her breaking heart made her want to crumple into a ball. But with the damned corset, she couldn’t even bend, let alone curl up enough to hug her knees to her chest. So she settled for hunching over slightly and covering her face with her hands. Not nearly as comforting, but it would do.
“No point in crying about it, lass.”
Nikki looked up with a gasp until she spotted Granny a few feet away, digging under a shrub. “What are you doing down there?” she asked.
“Looking for my treasure o’ course. It occurred to me it was more likely Bertie hid it here. We loved this place.”
She got a faraway look in her eye that made Nikki’s heart clench.
“Run out on yer wedding, did ya?” Granny asked.
Nikki gave her a half-hearted smile. “Something like that. Weren’t you there? I thought you were excited about the whole thing.”
Granny snorted. “Too big a crowd for me, and full of people I’d never seen or heard of.” She frowned and shoveled through the dirt again. “People will turn up out of the clear blue sky if there’s a party going on. Probably not a one of them is connected to the family.”
Nikki smiled again. Granny had no idea how right she was.
“Ran out of me own wedding the first time,” Granny said.
Nikki was surprised. “You did?”
“Sure thing! Well, almost. Two days before the ceremony. Left Bertie a note that said I couldn’t go through with it and I hoped he had a good life, but that we wouldn’t be any good together.”
“What did he do?”
“Hunted me down and told me he disagreed. Then went about showing me how wrong I was.” She winked at Nikki who couldn’t help smiling.
“But…I thought he was the love of your life.”
“He was. Still is. But sometimes a lass just needs to know that her man loves her enough to come after her. Not that I knew that was why I was doing it at the time.”
“Why did you do it?”
Granny sat back on her skinny haunches, her skirt rucked up enough to show the world her bloomers. Her shiny, red, lacy bloomers. Nikki bit her lip and kept her gaze locked on Granny’s face.
“I suppose it was your classic case of cold feet. I loved Bertie, don’t ever doubt it. But I loved my freedom, too. The thought of being tied to one place for the rest of my life, of being someone’s wife…and not just any someone. Bertie was a fine gentleman, owned a castle and a handful of other bonnie estates. What could he want with the likes of me? I was a poor barmaid trying to save up enough to start living the life of adventure I’d always wanted. Getting married, settling down, even worse, being the lady of a fine family…that wasn’t the life for me. I didn’t think I fit with them nor they with me. I wanted my own life, and we’d only known each other a few months. In some ways, it felt like we knew each other inside and out. In others, like we were total strangers.”
“Wow. Preaching to the choir on that one,” Nikki said, floored at what was basically her story coming out of the woman’s mouth.
“Choir? What choir? You a singer?”
“No,” she said, waving her off with a smile. “What happened after you ran off?”
Granny got that faraway look in her eye again that Nikki was beginning to associate with thoughts of dear old Bertie. “He came after me. Said I was making a huge mistake not giving him a chance. He promised me that marrying him didn’t have to mean settling down. It didn’t mean my adventures were over. They were just beginning. And he was right.”
Her smile transformed her face, giving Nikki a glimpse at the carefree girl that Granny had once been. “We had such adventures, Bertie and me. Even when we were here at home, just being together was a grand time. Always. I didn’t lose a life, I gained one. A better one. One full of life and laughter. And love. Such love.”
She leaned forward and gripped Nikki’s hand with surprising strength. “Love like that is worth a little sacrifice.”
“But…” Nikki hesitated, not sure how to word her fears. “Didn’t you ever regret the things you weren’t able to do? Or resent that you had to lose yourself, all your hopes and dreams, in order to be with him?”
Granny shook her head, giving her a sad knowing smile. “I didn’t lose myself, lass. I gave a part of myself to him. I gave him my heart, a piece of my soul. But I didn’t lose anything, because I got a piece of him in return. And together we made something that was infinitely more wonderful than anything I could have ever imagined. I was still me. I still lived a wondrous, magical life, but it was even more so because Bertie shared it with me.”
Nikki looked down at her clasped hands, thinking on everything Granny had said. She made a lot of sense. But just because things had worked out for Granny and Bertie didn’t mean they’d work out for Harrison and her. Times were different. And they were different people.
“Your thoughts are so loud over there you’re giving me a headache,” Granny said. “Might as well share them. I can practically hear them anyway.”
Nikki took a deep breath. “I don’t know. I get what you’re saying, and part of me does want to give us a shot. See if we could work out. I’ve never met anyone like him before.” The heat rushed to her cheeks, and she tried to will herself to keep her cool, which was a little difficult when the man she was gushing about was Granny’s sweet little Harry.
Granny patted her knee with a dirt-covered hand, leaving streaks behind on the gorgeous fabric of her dress.
“Harry is one of kind, and he deserves a woman who appreciates that.” She gave Nikki an appraising look. “I’ve been watching you. You’re good for him.”
“I am?” she asked, startled but pleased at her words.
Granny nodded. “He lights up when you enter a room. Never seen him do that for anyone else before. And he tries harder since he met you. He’s more patient. Seems to have lost that ramrod that’s been up his arse since he was a boy.”
That startled a laugh out of Nikki. “He did seem pretty uptight when I met him.”
“He’s not always that way. Those friends of his who came to visit are good for him, too, even if they are Americans.”
Nikki smiled. “I’m American, you know.”
Granny snorted and waved that away. “You’re not American. You’re the girl my Harry loves.”
That sobered Nikki instantly. “I’m not sure whether to hope that’s true, or hope it’s not.”
“Why is that, dearie? You love him, too. I can tell. Don’t you?”
Nikki took a deep breath and let it out slowly, afraid to admit it out loud. “Yes,” she finally said.
“Well, then,” Granny said with a self-satisfied grin.
“But how do I know if that’s enough?” Nikki looked back at her hands. “If I’m enough.” She groaned and dropped her head into her hands. “Hell, I don’t even know what I want. How can I expect anyone else to?”
Before Granny could answer, Nikki plowed onward. “I mean, when you met your husband, you’d already been on your own, pursuing your dreams. I haven’t even really figured out what my dreams are yet. And if I tie myself to another man, I’ll never find out. I’ll get wrapped up in him. Start living for his hopes and dreams. Doing what I can to make them come true while completely ignoring my own needs. Just like I always do.”
“Horseshit,” Granny said, shocking Nikki into silence. “If you’re with a man who really loves you, he’ll give you the room to find out who you are. He’ll encourage you to figure out what you want, support your dreams, hope for your hopes. Your problem, my girl, isn’t that you haven’t been able to figure yourself out because of men. It’s because of who those men were. Someone who really loves you won’t stand in your way or hold you back. They’ll push you to get yourself out there and be the support you need to do it well.”
Nikki opened her mouth to respond but closed it again. She didn’t have an argument for that logic. “I guess I’ve never thought about it that way before.”
Granny gave her a satisfied nod and went back to digging while Nikki drowned in her thoughts.
A few moments later, Granny cried out, holding up a small wooden box that she promptly tore open.
“Oh my God. There really was a treasure,” Nikki said, dropping to her knees in a poof of skirts so she could see.
Inside was a silver chain and locket shaped like a heart with Celtic knots. Granny opened it and smiled at the picture inside. Nikki glanced over her shoulder. A young Granny and a very handsome gentleman who looked a lot like Harrison smiled at her from the locket’s depths.
“I take it this is Bertie?” Nikki asked.
Granny nodded, her eyes misty. “My treasure. He was always hiding things around the property for me to find. This was the last one. I didn’t have time to find it before he left me.”
She laughed and looked up at the sky. “I found it, you sly old fox.”
“Let me help you put it on,” Nikki said, taking it from her and clasping it around her neck. “It’s beautiful.”
Granny patted her hand. “He’ll come for you, I know it.”
Nikki sighed and stood, helping Granny get to her feet. “I don’t think he will, Granny. And even if he does…” She shook her head. “I’ve been relationship jumping my whole life. I need to go into my next relationship knowing I’m doing it for the right reasons. Knowing it’s love and not infatuation or fear of being alone. Harrison deserves more than that.”
“He deserves someone who loves him as much as you do,” Granny said, squeezing her hand.
Nikki shook her head. “I love him enough I’d rather drive a knife through my own heart than hurt him.” She let go of Granny’s hand. “I think I should go.”
Granny watched her walk away, but thankfully didn’t call her back. Nikki wasn’t sure she could handle more of the woman’s suddenly lucid logic. She needed to get out of there before Harrison found her. If he was even looking. It might not have been a real wedding, but she did leave him standing at the altar, in front of all the guests.
Nikki groaned and ran faster, heading straight for her room. Wonderful. Not only had she probably upset Harrison, but she’d ruined the big finale as well. Hopefully, they’d been able to smooth over her sudden exit. Maybe spin it into some fun tale. If she had any kind of conscience, even from a business point of view, she’d go make sure she hadn’t completely ruined the guests’ experience. But doing that would mean coming face-to-face with Harrison again, and there was no way she wanted to do that.
Leaving was going to hurt enough.