CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Jim knew that he shouldn’t kiss her back.
He knew it, but he didn’t let that stop him as he pulled Ashley hard against him, one hand wrapping around her waist and the other against the smoothness of her face, fingers tangling in the softness of her hair as he damn near inhaled her.
Because in the cosmic scheme of things, what did it matter? Why not have a moment or two of pleasure while he could…?
She seemed to want what he wanted, so… fuck it.
As they kissed and kissed and kissed and kissed, Jim thought—a few times—about her penchant to surrender. And he wondered—briefly—if this was that. The path of least resistance. Yeah, he could tell she was uncomfortable doing this here, in Dunk’s outer office. But other than looking hard at the door to make sure it was locked after he’d backed them into it to latch it, she kinda wasn’t hesitating.
True, she didn’t exactly unfasten his shorts to stroke him. But when he pulled her with him onto the sofa so that she was straddling him, she definitely pressed even closer, rubbing herself against his length. And she voluntarily adiosed her shirt, pulling it swiftly over her head and tossing it onto what Jim would forever think of as the grandpa-chair—the one that wasn’t as mushy as the others, and had solid arms so he could use his shoulders to help his less-than knees lift his body weight.
It was possible that, after they did this, whether it be make-out session or sex—he still wasn’t sure whether or not she was going to stop them, but he knew damn well that she should—he was going to have to ask Ashley’s help in pulling himself back up, off the soft couch.
And the shame of that added extra fuel to his fuck-it philosophy. His future was gonna be filled with pain of all kinds, but right now…? As Ashley made things more interesting by unfastening the front clasp of her bra…? Right now was pretty freaking awesome.
The marks she’d gotten from the paintball game were already mostly faded, but even with them, she was unbelievably perfect.
Her breasts were soft and delicious, and his mouth and lips on her nipples—first one than the other as he kissed and licked and sucked and breathed in her sweet scent—made her gasp and softly moan.
But then she pulled back, and Jim braced himself for what had to be coming—a breathless confession that they’d gone too far but now sanity had intervened and they really had to stop.
Instead, she said, “I have to…” as she tried to unfasten both her jeans and his shorts.
To which he gallantly responded with, “I got mine,” and made fast work with the button and zipper as she pushed herself off of him and did that distinctly female dance of shimmying out of her skinny jeans.
She wanted to be more naked, not less. Which was fine with the part of him that wanted to orgasm himself into oblivion in an attempt to stop feeling this hair-on-fire panic.
But the other part of him—the part that really, really liked her—controlled his vocal cords, so he opened his mouth and said, “In full disclosure, I just had a phone call with my CO. My former CO. I just got notified that… my days of active duty are over.”
Ashley had finally managed to kick her feet free from her jeans, but now she froze—all blue eyes, golden hair, pink panties, and bare breasts.
“Oh, my God,” she said. “Jim, I’m so sorry. I had no idea.” She must’ve realized that she was nearly naked, because she hugged her jeans to her chest even as she came to sit beside him on that sofa, her concern nearly palpable. “If you’d rather talk about—”
He stopped that insanity by kissing her. And pulling her back onto his lap when she kissed him back.
Talk.
Right.
He was following the time-honored SEAL tradition of going commando, yet he hadn’t freed himself from his pants—it had seemed presumptive.
But as Ashley kissed him—as he kissed her back and ran his hands over all that gorgeous, soft skin—she straddled him and pushed herself against him and he was well aware that there was only a slip of pink silk keeping him from doing something seriously stupid.
“Please tell me,” she breathed between kisses, “you have a condom.”
He did. So he told her that he did, and she quickly shed her panties as he used it to cover himself, even as the stern or stupid part of him felt the need to say, “We shouldn’t do this.”
But she just kissed him again, her hands around him, stroking him, guiding him…
And then, God, he was inside of her.
* * *
Ashley pushed Jim deeply inside of her as she heard herself cry out.
This was better than the A-plus-plus fantasies that she’d imagined. The way he was looking at her, the way that he kissed her, held her, moved both with and against her…
She honestly hadn’t known that making love could feel this perfect—this all-consuming and complete. And she’d had plenty of great sex in her life with which to compare.
But Ashley could see more than fire in Jim’s eyes—she glimpsed the fear and hurt of his still-raw loss beneath his desire and need—and she knew that she was seeing it only because he was letting her in. She was seeing a soul that he’d bared for her alone.
She tried, through touching him, kissing him, making love to him, to tell him that everything was going to be okay—that she’d help him, gladly, as he transitioned into the next phase of his life. That he was going to do something amazing and important and satisfying. That moving into the unknown didn’t have to be scary—it could be exhilarating, and bring him great joy.
A lot like the joy she was feeling right now.
This man—this amazing, smart, funny, thoughtful, intelligent, caring, imperfect, complicated human being—was the man that Ash been waiting for, all her life.
And she came undone even as she held his gaze; until she had to give in and close her eyes because it was just too much to let him see into her soul, to let him see all she was feeling as she unraveled.
But her chagrin at coming too quickly—she wanted to do exactly this for hours and hours and hours—was tempered by the fact that he then came quickly, too. Bucking beneath her as he groaned, “Ashley…”
The sound of her name ripped from him like that was everything she’d ever wanted, and she kissed him again and again and again.
And then there they were. She could feel his heart still pounding as fast and as hard as hers as he held on to her as tightly as she clung to him.
“Jesus,” he breathed into her ear.
She laughed softly.
But then he said it again. “Jesus, what have I done…?”
And Ashley stopped laughing as she pulled back to look at him.