We headed for the pharmacy in the next town over because I didn’t want anyone in my business. We got a couple different kinds just to be sure and went back to the house.
“You want me to come in with you? Hey look at me, we’re gonna be fine there’s nothing for you to worry about.” I kissed her softly before letting her into the bathroom.
“Come with me Jeremy.” She held out her hand to me and in that moment more than any that had come before I realized just how fucking innocent she was. I also gave her a little more of my heart when her fingers closed around mine. She was scared as fuck as we walked into the room.
I watched her pee on the stick and then we waited; of course the results were what I expected but Nikki had to go through them all before she was convinced. I had to hold her for the next half hour sitting on the toilet seat as she shook in fear. I had to wait until she calmed down so I could talk to her. There was only one outcome as far as I was concerned in all of my years of fucking I’d never gotten anyone pregnant but I always knew that if that day ever came I would take care of my kid. It was a good thing that I actually liked her that I’m already falling for her because I’m old enough to know that getting married just because of a kid never worked out but I also am not a man to leave his kid to be raised without me.
After we’d been sitting there for a while letting her get herself together I decided the best course of action was for me to treat this as normal as I could, me telling her not to worry was only gonna go so far, she had to make peace with it on her own at her own pace. For me the writing was already on the wall, I was already planning my strategy in my head.
“Come on baby you need to eat.” She was pretty despondent while she sat in the kitchen and watched me cook. I didn’t push her to speak, she had to come to terms with this on her own with no interference from me, at the end of the day it was going to be up to me to take the reins and bear the brunt of whatever we had coming. I was sure of a few things though one of which was that no one was going to be allowed to mistreat her, if there was going to be any shouting it was going to be directed at me, the minute my kid was planted in her she became my responsibility and that’s all there is to it.
She started picking at her food but I’d had enough I couldn’t have her going into a depression on me that wouldn’t be good.
“Do you need me to feed you Nicola? I told you not to worry didn’t I what do you think is going to happen?”
“My dad…”
“You’re carrying my kid babe, anyone hurts you they hurt him or her that’s just not going to happen. You have to accept that this is happening first and foremost, I’m not going to ask you how you feel about the baby because there’s only one outcome you’re having it that’s not up for debate.”
“I wouldn’t kill my baby Jeremy.” She rolled her eyes at me like I was a dunce.
“Good then that’s settled, I’m not going to leave you holding the bag we’re in this together I’m not a teenage boy who’s going to run off and leave you on your own okay so that’s one less thing you have to worry about.” And the way she’d been going I’m thinking her parents should be pleased about that, it was a minor miracle that some snot nosed kid hadn’t knocked her ass up in the backseat of his car before now with her teasing ass.
She finally started eating and I got lost in thought; I’m a planner it’s an old throw back to my days in the marines, always have a plan. The biggest obstacle as far as I can see is the parents but they’re her specters not mine, I’m not afraid of them but it’s pretty obvious that she is so my first order of business is to relieve her of that fear. In my heart I’m already a dad, he or she is only a stain on a stick right now a tiny dot in its mother’s tummy but it’s mine. My job is to protect it starting now; to see that he or she has a fighting chance in this fucked up world. I know for sure that the best way to do that now is to see that their mom is healthy and okay physically and mentally.
“Okay from here on out if you have any worries I want you to come to me no matter what it is all this worrying can’t be good for you right now okay.”
“I don’t want to be a bother.”
“Don’t be an ass Nicola this is real life this is not high school, according to that stick up there you’re pregnant, it’s not the end of the world it’s something to look forward to. We didn’t plan it but it happened so all we can do is move onto the next step. First you need to accept it, it’s not exactly something that you can give back. I will deal with your father you have nothing to worry about there, but you’re going to have to grow up and grow up fast. I’m going to be here for you please get that through your head If one of the things you’re afraid of is me leaving you to face this alone you can lay that to rest. We’ll go into town tomorrow and get some books to read about this shit because I don’t know what the fuck they’re teaching you kids in school these days anyway and I don’t have the first clue about babies.” That got the first laugh out of her before she went quiet on me again.
“Are you mad at me?” Her voice had gone soft and unsure.
Where was the bright bubbly girl that came to my house? The one that teased and flirted and gave me fits, she was like a complete stranger sitting across from me right now, shoulders slumped, head down.
“You didn’t fuck yourself Nikki I was there too remember? Are you mad at me?” She shook her head no.
“Then why the fuck should I be mad at you?”
I spent hours calming her fears after that the best way I could and by bedtime she was a whole lot better but still not one hundred percent so I decided to take her mind off of it the best way I knew how.