Chapter Three
The sun had finally set and, with it, the heat of the day had receded. July in Kentucky was usually hot and muggy, but they’d been blessed this summer that it’d been one of the coolest on record. It was comfortable enough that they actually had a bonfire going. Roni sat in the corner, nursing a glass of strawberry margarita that Bianca had given her at some point. She wasn’t in the mood to drink tonight, was barely in the mood to be around other people. She should have told Liam that she hadn’t been up to dinner at the clubhouse.
“I think I’m gonna head out,” she told Denise, tapping her on the shoulder.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” she asked, worry in her eyes.
“I am. I’m just really tired trying to get the office back in order. Bless his heart, but Liam is not a businessman in that sense of the word,” she laughed. The words weren’t a lie. He’d done the best he could with what he had, but Liam hadn’t been prepared to run a shop at the drop of a hat.
“Don’t work too hard,” Denise told her. “And come around more often. Tatum forgot what you look like,” she whispered as she cradled the toddler in her arms.
“No she didn’t,” Roni laughed. “But I’ll make sure to be around more often if that will make you feel better.”
She said her goodbyes to the rest of the group and then made her way back into the clubhouse. There were leftovers and she would be damned if she’d let them go to waste. Being single, she hated cooking for only herself; when the opportunity presented itself, she stocked up. With a sigh of relief, she left the building and made her way quickly to her car.
“Goin’ home without even sayin’ hi or bye to me? Really, Roni?”
That voice stopped her. She stood with her hand on the door, her back to him. She’d almost made it, all she’d had to do was open the door and climb in. That was all. So close she could taste it. Instead, she breathed deeply, popped open the door, and stuck her food inside on the seat. Plastering a smile on her face, she stood and turned around to face him. On first glance, her breath caught. Up close, allowing herself to look at him, she could see that he’d changed—significantly since her birthday.
“Sorry.” She pushed her dark hair behind her ear. “Just got a lot going on right now with helpin’ Liam at the shop.”
“That’s BS and we both know it,” Rooster told her, leaning back against the car that was parked beside her.
She wanted to tell him that he was wrong, but he was oh so right. He’d never been more right about anything in his life. “C’mon.” She ran her tongue along her bottom lip. “I just wanna go home.”
He shifted on his legs and uncrossed his arms. This time, he leaned towards her, bracing himself against the frame of her vehicle.
It was then that she realized just how much he had changed. The heat pouring off his body was enough to burn them both. The T-shirt he wore barely concealed the bulging muscles at his biceps. His hair, that had once been so closely cropped people had assumed he was in the military, was now a head full of hair. “What do you want, Rooster?”
“You to be honest with yourself.” He whispered the words next to her ear.
They threw her off balance because she hadn’t realized just how close he was. To prevent herself from falling, she instinctively reached out and grasped his shirt, digging her fingers into it at his hips. She wanted to take that shirt off and see exactly how much he’d changed, how he’d grown as a man. It had been a long time since she’d wanted that with anyone. Being one of the only women in town related to the leaders of a motorcycle club hadn’t left her with many options. To be honest, she hadn’t wanted many options; she’d been in love with Rooster since she was a teenager, and nobody would ever be able to measure up in her eyes. It wasn’t fair to let someone try.
Rooster moved one hand from the doorframe and used it to cup her cheek; he didn’t miss that she was so small compared to him that he also managed get part of her neck. It brought out some protective instinct in him. He watched as her eyes widened and her breath started coming faster. Leaning down, he hesitantly kissed her. It had been a long time since they had really kissed. They’d given each other a peck or two here and there over the years, but they’d always stopped at that, afraid that Liam would find out. They were no longer in that situation. He and Liam were good with one another and he no longer had the weight of the badge on his chest. Giving himself the permission to do what he wanted to do, he shifted his hand back, digging his fingers into her hair and tugged slightly, situating her mouth to his liking.
Roni drew a deep breath in her too-tight lungs as Rooster slowly moved closer. When their lips met, she heard the noise at the back of her throat—it was involuntary and maybe made her sound like a prostitute—deeper than her normal voice ever was. Her fingers flexed in the soft cotton of his T-shirt as she fought to hold herself up. Never had her knees been this weak, never had she felt this all-consuming feeling—not even when they were younger. She pulled the T-shirt hard, knocking him off his balance, so much so that he had to lean heavily against her. The hand that had been resting on the car secured itself to her hip, spanning the skin there, pushing up the T-shirt she wore. Feeling his hand on her bare skin affected her more than it should have. She wasn’t a young girl anymore.
He’d not felt this way in a very long time. He situated himself as best he could so that every part of him touched every part of her given their height difference, but he had to touch her. Rooster realized he’d denied himself for way too long. “Roni, God, I missed you,” he whispered as he pulled his lips from hers, smearing the kiss down the side of her neck, tilting her head back so that he had more room to work.
Her fingers traveled up the back of his shirt, grasping the hard skin there, digging her nails into the flesh. She wanted him closer, needed him to be right with her. She was restless as she moved her body against his, sighing when his teeth nipped the smooth skin at her neck. In the dark, in the club’s driveway, they were making out like two teenagers.
Someone came out of the clubhouse, slamming the door. It was like a gunshot, and the two of them broke apart quickly. Neither one of them looked away from the other as they tried to get their breathing under control.
“We can’t do that again, Rooster,” she told him, situating her shirt to where it sat at her waist again.
“The hell we can’t. It’s been seventeen years and it’s not gone away, Roni. Don’t you see?” He put his hand at her neck and forced her eyes to meet his. “It’s never going to go away. I’m not interested in spending another seventeen years without you.”
Those words from any other person would have made her roll her eyes, but those words from Rooster scared her. They’d been down this road once and it had broken her.
“Let me rephrase that. I can’t do this with you again and I won’t.”
Rooster fought to keep the anger out of his voice, the rage off his face. “I’m not gonna let you run away from me again.”
“You have no choice,” she told him sadly. “Because I won’t put myself in the situation again.”
“We’ll see,” he told her as she got into her car. “We’ll see how long you can deny the feelings between us.”
She wanted to hurt him, tell him that she’d done it with no problem for seventeen years. That, however, wasn’t the truth. She’d had a major problem with it, always wondering what would have been. Would they have gotten married? Their child would be around the same age as Drew and Mandy now. How would she have been as a mother? Would he have been a strict father? “Please, let it go.” She was tired of fighting it. Keeping their secret was tiring.
“You no longer have Liam to hide behind. He and I are good now. I’m not going to sit back anymore and live my life without you. It’s not happening. I let people take you away once. I’m not doing it again.”
Closing the door, she started the car, not wanting to hear the words he was telling her. Now wasn’t the time. Her heart wasn’t as open as it had once been, and she wasn’t sure she believed in love anymore. There were plenty of people in her immediate life who had found love and were making relationships happen, but she didn’t think it would ever happen for herself.
She was okay with that. At least she had been up until five minutes ago when Brandon Hancock kissed her like he was dying and she was the air he needed to breathe. Years of emotions that had lain dormant were back, and Roni wasn’t sure that she’d ever be prepared to deal with them.