Chapter Twenty
It turned out that Airin snored.
It was a gentle and adorable snore, and Hunter could have listened to it all night. But after a while she shifted against him, making a kind of murping sound like a sleeping cat, and fell into a deeper slumber.
She stopped snoring. But he could still listen to her breathing, and he did. And with his eyes adjusted to the darkness, he could watch her sleep.
Making love with Airin was the best and worst thing that had ever happened to him.
He was no longer the ideal astronaut. Not as he defined it, anyway. Because now there was someone in his life he didn’t want to leave behind.
He stayed where he was, Airin nestled against him, while he groped behind him for the phone he’d left on the bedside table.
He had to type the email slowly, using only his right thumb, because his left arm was under Airin’s body and he didn’t want to move it.
Airin did great on the parabolic flight. She was born to go into space, whether you want to admit it or not. This will be the last report I send you, because I’m ending our arrangement. I understand I won’t be part of the DelAres crew. But I’ll be at Cape Canaveral when your mission launches, cheering them and you on. With luck, NASA will only be a few years behind you.
Another hour, maybe more, went by. Airin shifted again, and this time she yawned, stretched, and opened her eyes.
He watched her remembering where she was and who she was with. Then she looked up at him and smiled.
“Hi,” she whispered.
He pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Hi.”
“What time is it?”
“I think it’s about three in the morning.”
“Have you slept?”
He shook his head. “I can’t sleep. I can’t stop looking at you.”
She blinked. “You’ve been watching me this whole time?”
“Yeah.”
She stared up at him for a moment. Then reached out and traced the lines of his face with the tips of her fingers—his cheeks, his temples, his jaw.
He closed his eyes and leaned into her caress. “That feels good.”
She brushed her fingertip across his lower lip. “Hunter?”
“Yeah?”
“Do you have another condom?”
He opened his eyes and smiled at her. “No. But, angel, there’s a lot of other stuff we can do if you’re so inclined.”
She thought about that for a moment. Then she shifted again, sitting up this time.
“I know what I want to do,” she said.
He rolled onto his back and clasped his hands behind his head. “Lay it on me.”
She put a hand on his chest. “I want to talk about the future.”
He raised his eyebrows.
“That’s pretty diabolical. First you drug me with sex, and then you get me to have The Talk?”
She nodded solemnly. “Exactly. This is the technique I’ll use with all the guys I—”
A wave of possessiveness went through him. “Don’t talk about other guys.”
One side of her mouth quirked up. “It was a joke. So can I tell you what I was thinking?”
“You’re too intimidating sitting up like that. Lie down and you can tell me anything.”
She slid down onto her side, her head pillowed on her arm. “Okay,” she said. “I want you to know I don’t expect anything from you. Anything permanent, I mean. Both of us have big plans for the future, and we shouldn’t do anything to derail them. I’ve only just started the application process for medical school, and I have no idea where I’ll end up. Meanwhile, you’re at NASA’s mercy. You’ll be here in Hawaii for another year, maybe two, but after that? Maybe they’ll send you to Houston. Maybe Florida. Maybe California to the Jet Propulsion Lab.” She paused. “Maybe to the International Space Station. And I don’t want to get in the way of any of that.”
He was on his side, too, facing her. “I understand what you’re saying.”
“And,” she went on, “I know you’re not looking for a relationship. I know this because you told me. Several times. So I want you to know I don’t expect that to change just because we’ve slept together.”
He nodded slowly. “I see. So . . . what do you expect?”
“Nothing. I don’t expect anything. Except . . .” She hesitated.
“Except what?”
“Except . . . I’d like to be with you like this again. For as long as we happen to be sharing a house. Or as long as we both want to,” she amended. “With the understanding that either one of us can call it quits at any time, with no hard feelings. And we decide right now that we won’t let things get weird and awkward again. We’ll make a real effort to be friends, no matter what.”
She looked so serious as she said that. God, she was so sweet . . . so sweet and so earnest. How the hell had he resisted her for so long?
Of course, he knew the answer. He’d resisted her because he’d understood, on some level, what would happen if he gave in to his desire for Airin.
He’d go up like tissue paper in a fire.
But Airin herself had talked about an escape route—the ability to call it quits “at any time, with no hard feelings.” They didn’t have to go too deep too soon.
He should be grateful for that built-in safety hatch. But he found himself saying, “There’s something I want, too.”
“Of course. I didn’t mean to sound like I was setting the rules for both of us or anything. What do you want, Hunter?”
A wave of affection went through him that was as powerful as the lust that was already making him hard.
“I want you to keep an open mind.”
She frowned a little. “An open mind? Open to what?”
For most of his adult life, his pillow talk with women had included a warning label. I really like you, but I don’t want to hurt you. I want to be sure we’re going into this with our eyes open. What Airin had just laid out were the ground rules he’d always set himself in the past. So the tack he was taking now felt a little strange.
“I don’t want us to close the door on any possibilities.”
“What do you mean?”
He tried again. “I don’t think we should rule out the idea of a relationship. Not right off the bat. Shouldn’t we see where things go? In a kind of structured way.”
She blinked. “A kind of structured way? What would that look like, exactly?”
“We’d tell Val and Dean we’re involved, so we don’t have to keep it a secret. And while we’re seeing each other, we . . . wouldn’t see other people.”
A slow smile spread across her face. “I know I don’t have much experience in this area, but that sounds an awful lot like dating. Are you asking me to be your girlfriend?”
Shit.
“Yeah. I guess I am. But I agree with all that other stuff you said, too. I don’t want to get in the way of your goals or your dreams.”
“And I don’t want to get in the way of yours.”
“Okay then.”
“Okay.”
They lay still for a few moments, just looking at each other. Airin’s brown eyes were warm, thoughtful, intelligent, and playful at the same time.
There weren’t a lot of women who could operate on all those levels, especially when they were lying naked in bed with you.
A woman like that was someone you could spend your life with. A woman like that was someone you could go into space with.
But he wasn’t ready to think about that possibility. There was too much uncertainty there, too much that scared him.
And anyway, there was something else he wanted to do right now.
He reached out and combed his fingers through the silken mass of her hair in one long, luxurious stroke. “Will you do something for me, Airin?”
He could read her response to his touch in the way her breath caught and her nipples puckered and hardened.
“What?” she whispered.
“Lie on your back and spread your legs. I want to taste you.”
She closed her eyes and shivered. “I want that, too. But, Hunter?”
“Yeah?”
“After that, it’s my turn to taste you.”
His body hardened in one zero-to-liftoff rush.
“If you insist.”
He trailed a hand down her body until he reached her center, where a trickle of moisture was already making her soft and ready.
“But first things first, angel. First things first.”