Chapter Six
Airin had found Hunter’s bio online yesterday. First in his class at the Air Force Academy, fighter pilot, joined NASA three years ago. Nothing about his family or childhood, although some of the other astronaut bios had been more personal.
Now he’d cut off conversation about his parents. So she wasn’t the only one with topics she’d rather avoid.
Well, that was fair enough. It wasn’t like they were going to become friends or anything. He was about to go into a sealed biosphere for eight months. And he was an astronaut. After the Mars simulation ended, all his time and energy would be focused on getting into space.
The two of them had tonight, and that was all.
A wave of sadness went through her. She was out on her own for the first time in her life, sitting on a beach in Hawaii with a man who made her bones turn to water, and it was as though the universe were dangling things in front of her she could never have.
Hunter would never know her secrets, and she would never know his. They would never grow close, never become friends, never—
He shifted beside her, putting an arm around her shoulders as they looked out at the ocean.
She closed her eyes.
His arm was heavy. Her mother put an arm around her sometimes, and her favorite nurse from the old days used to as well. They were both small women, and their arms had felt light.
The weight of Hunter’s arm made her cognizant of the size of him. It made her think of dense bone and heavy bands of muscle and a kind of physical capability that was fundamentally different from her own. It made her imagine him in bed, that big body over hers, overwhelming her.
Her heart was pounding in her chest. She remembered her surgery a year and a half ago and the doctor saying after her last follow-up appointment, “You’re completely recovered. No restrictions. You can do anything anyone else can do.”
Tell that to my mother, she’d thought at the time.
But maybe it wasn’t her mother who was holding her back. Maybe she was holding herself back.
Because right now, with the heavy promise of masculinity beside her, the weight of it palpable, she didn’t know if she was feeling excitement or fear.
But what was there to be afraid of? She didn’t have to worry about making a fool of herself or not knowing what she was doing. It hadn’t mattered two nights ago, had it? And after tonight, she’d never see Hunter again.
Right. She’d never see him again. A moment ago that had seemed a terrible negative, but maybe, like two nights ago, she could view it as a positive.
Her heart was beating so hard and so fast the vibrations seemed to reverberate through her whole body.
Your heart is as strong as anyone else’s, the doctor had said. Maybe stronger, since you’ve done so much work in the exercise room.
All the times she’d repeated those words to her mother, she’d believed them. But now that she was saying them to herself, suddenly she wasn’t so sure.
Stay strong, heart. You’ve been through a lot, but I need you now, okay?
Hunter’s hand began to move against her bare skin. It was a small and subtle movement, a caress that made goose bumps spring up everywhere.
“Airin?”
“Yes?”
“Was our kiss that night really your first?”
“Yes.”
He took his arm from her shoulders, and she felt forlorn. But then he shifted, turning to face her, and she turned to face him.
“How can that be?” he asked. “I mean, damn. I’m sitting here looking at you, and you’re one of the sexiest women I’ve ever seen in my life.”
His words sent a thrill through her. But what could she tell him? Not the whole truth—if she told him who she was, the focus would all be on Dira Delaney. He was an astronaut, after all, and Dira was a rock star in the aeronautical world.
But she could tell him part of the truth.
“I had some medical issues growing up. They’re solved now, but I had a really sheltered childhood, and it’s been hard to break out of that.” She took a breath. “I wondered so many times if it was too late to have a first kiss. If it would ever happen. And then, with you . . .”
His eyes, already dark in the moonlight, seemed to grow darker.
“Yeah,” he said. “That was a pretty good kiss.”
All she could do was nod.
He leaned in closer. “Hey, Airin?”
“Yes?” she whispered.
“I’m going to kiss you again.”
He was so close she could smell the clean male scent of him, and it went to her head like wine.
“You are?”
“I am.”
“Well, I think—”
And then his arms were around her and his lips were on hers and her breasts were crushed against his chest, and she was so, so glad she wasn’t wearing a bra, because it was one less layer between them.
Before she knew what was happening, his weight, that glorious masculine weight, was bearing her down until she was on her back and he was above her, kissing her, his tongue in her mouth and his hands in her hair and oh God, it was more perfect than she could have imagined.
Everything in her yearned to open to him. Her mouth, her heart, her body. His kiss was deep and then deeper, wet and electric and so, so carnal.
Carnal.
The scrape of his teeth against her lips. The scrape of his stubble on her skin. The way his tongue stroked and teased and assaulted and soothed.
Open. Open.
Everything he was doing demanded that of her.
Open your mouth. Open your body.
She wanted to. She needed to.
And then, responding to the most primitive urge that had ever swept through her, she parted her legs.
That one movement changed everything.
Hunter made a low, rumbling, growling sound that was like nothing she’d ever heard. And then his weight shifted, taking immediate advantage of the opening she’d given him, and his lower body sank into the cradle she’d created.
Her whole being responded with a primal yes.
Her dress was rucked up around her waist, and only Hunter’s jeans and her cotton panties separated them. But more important than clothing or anything else was the sensation that had become the center of her universe. The long, thick, rigid erection pressing against her.
Hunter broke their kiss and rested his forehead on hers.
Now that they weren’t kissing, there was nothing to distract her from what was happening below her waist, and all she could think about was how to get him closer.
She wrapped her legs around his hips, and he made the growling sound again. And then he was moving, pressing hard against her center and pulling away, pressing hard and pulling away, in a motion that made her feel desperate and frantic and helpless and feverish all at the same time.
The friction. The pressure. The . . .
Oh God.
When she froze, Hunter did, too.
He pulled back and looked down at her, his dark eyes wild.
“Am I hurting you?”
She stared up at him, panting.
“I just . . . I just . . .”
“What?”
“My panties are wet. Soaking wet. I—”
Hunter closed his eyes. “Airin.”
“What?”
“I didn’t think I could get any harder. Jesus fucking Christ, I think you’re trying to kill me.”
“I want you so much,” she whispered. “I didn’t know it was possible to want anything this much.”
He opened his eyes again, and his expression was equal parts lust and tenderness. “I know the feeling. I want you so much right now I’m fucking wrecked.”
He leaned in and pressed a quick, hard kiss to her lips. Then he rolled away, surged to his feet, and reached down to help her up.
She felt weak and shaky. “What’s happening?”
“Nothing. Not one goddamn thing, for about a hundred different reasons. Not the least of which being that we’re on a public beach.”
She was leaning against him so she didn’t fall, her hands fisted in the material of his T-shirt. Now she looked around, and there were, indeed, other people on the beach. There was a couple walking hand in hand toward them, another couple kissing by the water’s edge twenty yards away, a few people in the water enjoying a night swim.
They were in public. And she’d been lying on her back with her dress up around her waist, her panties soaking wet, writhing like an animal in heat.
“Oh my God.”
“Yeah.”
“Hunter, I’m so sorry.”
He grinned at her. “For what? I was the one who started all that craziness. I was the one ready to do you on a beach.”
She still felt shaky. But there was something else she still felt, too.
Desire.
She gripped his T-shirt harder. “Hunter.”
“Yeah?”
“Is there somewhere we can go that’s not a beach?”
He stared at her. “Airin—”
“I want you,” she said, the words tumbling out. “I know we’re never going to see each other again. I don’t care. I want you. I want—”
“Airin.”
He was going to say no. Of course. She was out of her mind, and he recognized that, and he was going to save her from herself. Or something.
“How far away is your hotel?” he asked gruffly.
He wanted her, too.
“Not my hotel.”
“Why not?”
This was definitely not the time to explain about Thomas.
“Family stuff.” Her head was spinning, her heart thudding against her ribs. “Let’s go to your hotel.”
“Angel, nothing would make me happier. But I’m not staying in a hotel. I’ve got a place in Kailua.”
“Kailua?”
“It’s sixteen miles away. Half an hour by car.”
That desperate, feverish feeling between her legs was only getting more intense. She wanted to twine herself around him like a vine around a tree.
“Let’s go. Do you have a car? Do we need to get a taxi or an Uber or—”
“Airin.”
“What?”
Her hands were still against his chest, and she felt his rib cage expand with a deep breath.
“I am more than willing to take you to my place in Kailua. But I drive a Mustang convertible, and you’ll be feeling the cool breeze on your face as we cross the mountains, and there’s a chance that you’ll come to your senses between here and there.”
What was he saying?
“I—”
He covered her hands with his. “Airin, if you want me, I’m yours. Just for one night, but I’m yours. I won’t change my mind. But if you change yours, that’s one hundred percent okay. I just want you to know that.”
A sudden wild affection swept through her.
“Deal.”
Hunter had told her he wouldn’t change his mind, but as he drove the most beautiful woman he’d ever met along the winding, climbing Pali Highway, he wondered if he’d lost his mind.
He was doing everything he’d told himself he wouldn’t do. He was going to be a virgin’s first time, and he was going to do it the night before he went into the biosphere.
But every time he questioned his sanity, he looked over at Airin in the passenger seat and knew it wouldn’t make a damn bit of difference.
This would be his last chance for a long time to make a crazy decision, and he couldn’t think of one he’d rather make.
They’d driven the last few minutes in silence. Pali Highway was spectacular even at night, with the dense, lush forest scenting the air, and he wondered what Airin was thinking.
“Talk to me,” he said after another minute. “You’ve gotten kind of quiet. Are you experiencing a wave of regret, or are you enjoying the drive?”
Airin turned to look at him, and even though it was nighttime he could tell her smile was radiant. “I’m enjoying the drive. It’s so beautiful up here in the mountains. I almost wish it was daylight. It smells like heaven.” She paused. “What about you? Are you having second thoughts?”
“Not a one. But I like the sound of your voice, and I want to keep hearing it. Tell me something.”
“What should I say?”
“Anything you want. Tell me about yourself. Not the things you don’t want to talk about,” he added, downshifting as the road climbed higher.
The air was getting cooler. Beside him, Airin tilted her head back and let the wind blow her hair. It flowed behind her like a black silk banner.
“My favorite movie is Rear Window,” she said. “What’s yours?”
“Mad Max.”
“Seriously?”
He grinned. “Yeah. Ever seen it?”
“Yes. I hated it.”
“Well, I hated Rear Window. I thought it was boring. I mean, the whole damn thing happens in that guy’s apartment.”
Highway 61 wasn’t well lit, and he slowed down before taking a curve.
“Let’s keep going,” he said. “I bet there are a ton of other things we don’t have in common. What’s your favorite music?”
“Bach. You?”
“Metallica.”
Airin laughed, and the sound went to his head like whiskey.
His groin, which had calmed down a little since the raging inferno on the beach, was rising to attention again.
“What do you fantasize about?” he heard himself asking.
Shit. Did I ask that out loud?
There was a short silence.
“You mean like . . . sexual fantasies?”
“Yeah,” he said, his voice sounding husky.
“Well. That’s a pretty dramatic change of subject.”
“We can go back to music if you want. But all I can think about right now is making love to you, and I guess it’s coming out in my conversation.”
There was another silence, and then she put her hand on his thigh.
“It’s all I can think about, too.”
If she was going to touch him so close to his hard-on, he needed to slow down and focus on the road.
He pulled his foot off the gas a little. “For a woman who’s never had sex before, you know exactly how to turn me on.”
“I do?”
She sounded delighted.
“Yeah. So tell me, Airin. Does a woman who’s never had sex fantasize about it? Do you ever think about it late at night when you can’t sleep?”
Her hand squeezed his thigh, and he slowed down even more. He was damned if he’d get into an accident on this winding road before he had a chance to make love to this woman.
“I do think about it sometimes,” she said. “And . . .” She paused. “Can I tell you something I always thought I’d be too embarrassed ever to tell anyone?”
“Hell yes. If you can’t tell stuff like that to your soon-to-be one-night stand, who can you tell?”
They’d had the highway to themselves for the last several minutes, but now he saw the flash of headlights in his rearview mirror. They came up pretty quickly, which meant the driver wasn’t going to be thrilled that he was taking it slow. On a one-lane highway, his only option was to pull over so the guy could pass, and he started looking for a place to do just that.
“I read erotica. While I, um, masturbate.”
Holy hell. He was harder than a fucking diamond right now.
“Yeah?”
“Yes. But I haven’t . . . it doesn’t . . . that is, it’s never worked.”
The glare of the headlights was right behind him now. Where was a spot to pull over? He needed to focus 100 percent on Airin.
“What do you mean, it’s never worked?”
“I’ve never been able to make myself . . .”
“Come?”
“Yes. I mean, I’ve tried. Believe me, I’ve tried. I’ve read sexy stories and touched myself and thought about things, but I’ve never . . .”
The fucking asshole behind him honked.
Okay, fine. There wasn’t a place to pull over, exactly, but he’d squeeze as far as he could to the side of the road and wave the guy past.
He put on his blinker and started to slow down, but just as he began to move to the right, another pair of headlights flashed—coming toward them this time.
The guy behind him honked again.
“Hold your horses, asshole,” Hunter muttered under his breath. “Let me pull over while this other guy goes by, and then you can—”
The disaster happened so fast he barely had time to react.
The car behind him pulled out and tried to pass before the other car reached them. But he miscalculated, badly, and the two vehicles slammed into each other.
In the split second before the squeal of brakes and the crunch of metal and Airin’s scream, all Hunter could do was hit his own brakes and pray.