Chapter 13
The following afternoon, with laughter gliding through the air, Grey moved to the cooler next to the grill. Earlier in the morning, he’d received a call inviting him to join Maddox and his wife, Joss, for a backyard party at the house on Lake Washington that Maddox inherited after his father passed. The company alone would have brought him here, but the chance to drink sounded all too good right then.
Every year, Maddox held this event to welcome the new rookies into his division at the Seattle Police Department in the west precinct. Now that Maddox was the captain in the east precinct and had been for the last year, his party was still for the rookies, but it had grown in size since he invited the entire department now. Sure, Grey wasn’t a cop and therefore a total outsider here, but he never missed a party, and no one ever seemed to mind that he came. Though even if they did have a problem with him being there, no one would dare question Maddox.
When Grey finally reached the cooler, he grabbed a cold beer. His body ached from his head to his toes. Exhaustion weighed heavily on him, slowly swallowing him up, and not even a run this morning or jerking his cock in the shower after had done anything to get his head right.
I still miss her.
Every hour only deepened the void of Evie’s absence.
Each minute seemed longer than the last.
A small breeze picked up, bringing the greasy scent of the hamburgers on the grill when he cracked open the beer. He tossed the cap into the beer case next to the cooler then scanned the crowd, his gaze falling on Joss. Back in the day, he couldn’t imagine Maddox loving any woman hard enough to marry her. Now, he couldn’t imagine seeing his friend without Joss next to him.
Her long, chocolate-brown hair rested on her shoulder, while she held onto the hands of her little girl, Sofia, who wobbled her way forward, having just begun to walk. Thoughts of Evie passed through his mind. She’d look so pretty holding a sweet baby like that…
He grunted, shook his head, and took a big gulp of his beer. Fuck, what the hell was wrong with him?
When he lowered his brew, he found Joss watching him, her light green eyes piercing into his as usual. He gave her a soft smile, which she returned, even if her brows furrowed a little—a look she’d been giving him since he came back from Punta Cana. An expression that told him he appeared even worse than he thought. Great.
“Better be careful, people might start believing you’re actually boring.”
Grey snorted and glanced over his shoulder, finding Maddox. He cupped his friend’s shoulder, asking with a smirk, “Am I not being social enough for your liking?”
“A ghost would be friendlier.” Maddox gestured toward the pathway next to the patio bar surrounded by big evergreens. “Let’s get away for a minute.”
The look on Joss’s face a moment ago, matched with the tension in Maddox’s expression now told Grey all he needed to know. “Let me guess, Joss thinks you need to talk to me?”
“Yes,” Maddox said, his look one of exasperation. “She thinks you’re depressed and in dire need of help. So, being the good friend I am, we’re going to have a talk that neither of us wants to have so that I look like the most fabulous husband—which I also am.”
“Well, in that case”—Grey chuckled dryly and waved out toward the pathway—“lead the way.”
Maddox grinned and gave Joss a firm nod, clearly telling her he had Grey handled.
Grey snorted and followed behind, passing by the partygoers standing near the patio bar with the dark wooden stools. Soon, he stepped into the thick forest, and he stayed on Maddox’s heels. He followed behind on the thin trail that finally stopped at a bench, offering a stunning view of Lake Washington, with his mother’s mansion far off in the distance on the right side.
Maddox took a seat first, then Grey dropped down next to him, stretching out his legs, crossing one ankle over the other, gazing out at the quiet water. A few boats were out on the lake, some people swimming on the other side of the shore.
“Joss thinks I should be worried about you,” Maddox eventually said, breaking the silence. Elbows on his knees, he glanced sideways at Grey, clear concern in his expression. “Should I be?”
“Worried?” Grey pondered then shook his head. “No.”
Maddox snorted. “You neither look nor sound convincing.”
Grey tossed back another big gulp of his beer, savoring the citrusy hints. “Evie, she’s…” He paused, voice thick, so he cleared his throat before continuing. “She’s gotten right in here.” He tapped his temple.
One brow arched, Maddox asked, “And why exactly is that a bad thing?”
“Because she ended it.”
“When?”
“I flew home from the Dominican without her.” Grey paused, trying to sort through all the shit in his head.
“I’m confused. When we talked, things seemed good,” Maddox said. “What happened?”
“The wedding we went there for fell apart, and I think that rattled her.” There were too many details to share about Evie’s past with Holly and Seth, and they weren’t his details to share. “Evie…she’s been through a lot…too much.”
Maddox regarded Grey, sipping his beer, then said, “So then unrattle her.”
“Again, seems simple,” Grey said, admitting a truth that had been circling around in his head. “But I can’t risk hurting her by accident. I can’t be responsible for seeing a woman that is entirely good, so fucking sweet, hurt again.”
A gleam formed in Maddox’s eyes, and the side of his mouth arched. “You’re worried about fucking this up, and I’ve never seen you concerned about that before with anyone. You’ve actually cultivated your life so there’s no chance you will fuck up with women because they always know the score. And yet here you are. I think that says a lot, don’t you?”
“I know exactly what it says and what it means,” Grey said, not doubting how special Evie was. That was undeniable, and it was a truth in his mind he could no longer run from. “But I’m not thinking about myself in all this, I’m thinking about her. She’s good in ways I didn’t know a person could be. She loves unconditionally. She’s warm to those who don’t deserve it, and yet she’s strong in front of them.” He tapped his temple again. “So as much as she’s in here, I can’t chase her again when she left wanting nothing more to do with me.”
“I do understand that,” Maddox said softly, and the trees standing tall behind him rustled with the breeze, “but you’re fucking miserable, so how is this the right solution either?”
“Thus my current problem.” Grey hesitated, then he allowed the emotion to fill his expression and his voice. “I went after her in the first place for my own selfish reasons. I won’t do that again. She left, I never stopped her. End of story.”
Maddox’s expression softened, obviously now understanding the weight of all this. He glanced out at the water for a few minutes, sipping his beer. “Perhaps you’re looking at this all wrong,” he finally said, turning to Grey again, awareness in his eyes. “She’s fearful of getting close to the Greyson Crawford she knew before—the love ’em and leave ’em guy. You proved her right by not demanding she stay. But you’re no longer that guy. Have you told her that?”
Grey frowned. “No, but it’s too late to take that back. The damage has already been done.”
“It’s never too late.” Maddox drew in a long, deep breath, leaning back against the bench before explaining, “Even I can see that your perspective has changed. Believe me, I understand that outlook because I’ve experienced it myself. But it’s Evie that’s caused this shift in your life, made you doubt things you’ve never questioned before. With her, things are right. Without her, things are wrong. It truly is that simple.”
“I understand that she’s the reason I feel unsteady,” Grey admitted. “But—”
Maddox cupped Grey’s shoulder, giving a measured look. “Here’s some unsolicited advice from a friend. If she’s got you this caught up, I’d say you know all you need to. From where I’m sitting, it’s simple: go and get her. If she left, it was because she was protecting herself. Be the man she wants you to be.”
Be the man she wants you to be…
Grey pondered that, and from where Maddox sat, that would be the logical answer. Grey knew it wouldn’t be enough. “But I talked her into agreeing to something she never should have before—”
“Well, this time, don’t talk her into it,” Maddox said, eyes bright. “Ask her.”
* * *
I’m off to find my happy nook. I’ll reach out soon.
Evie lowered down onto her porch swing at her two-story house in the Squire Park neighborhood, with its light gray siding and cherry-red front door, and smiled at the text from Holly. With her cell phone in her hand, and her landline against her ear, she said to Allison Richards, her mother, “Holly just texted me. Has she gone somewhere or something?”
If anyone had the town gossip, it was her mother. “From what I heard,” Allison replied in her soft, soothing voice, “she’s taking a sabbatical to rediscover herself and traveling Europe for the next six months, or at least that’s what Pam”—Holly’s mother—“told me.”
“Wow, good for her,” Evie said, putting her cell to sleep and placing it on the white floorboards beneath her bare feet. “I remember all during high school, Holly wanted to do that. I’m happy for her,” she finished, truly meaning that.
Whatever peace she and Holly needed to come to, they got that in the tropics. Maybe it’d been the long talk they had the night before the wedding, or possibly because Holly didn’t marry Seth, but the healing had started between them. Her friendship with Holly would never be what it once was, though Evie wasn’t ready to give up on it entirely either. History between people meant something.
“Truthfully,” Allison said dryly. “I think you might be the only one who feels happy for Holly. Seth’s family is furious. And Holly’s parents aren’t thrilled either. But they’ll recover, and in the end, it seems that Holly’s wanted to get out of Grand Rapids for a long time. A broken heart was just the push she needed to find herself.”
“And how about Seth?” Evie asked, considering his feelings, too. Holly wasn’t the only one that Evie could forgive. But Seth and she didn’t have the closeness that Evie had with Holly, a special friendship that came from someone who truly knew you. “Do you think he’ll be okay?”
“I’m sure he’ll be fine,” Allison quipped. “Men are resilient. One second, Evie.” She hesitated, and that’s when Evie heard beeping in the background telling her that her mom was working at the hospital today.
“Yes. Yes,” Allison said to someone obviously in the room with her. “Yes, that’s fine. Give me another few minutes, and I’ll be there.” When she spoke again, her professional voice vanished, and her soft voice filled the phone line. “And you, my darling, how are you? I can’t imagine any of this has been easy on you.”
Evie sighed, anticipating what was to come. Her mom was about to go full therapist on her. She couldn’t help it. Job hazard. “To be perfectly honest, I’m not even sure how I feel about it all. It’s been a bit of a whirlwind. I’m still processing, I think.”
“That’s understandable,” Allison replied, and clearly shut a door since the background noise faded away. “Maybe you’re a little sad for them that it didn’t work. Maybe you’re also a little happy that they failed. It’s perfectly normal to feel both ways.”
Evie waved at her neighbors Todd and Phillip, who walked their French bulldog, Dixie, down the sidewalk. “Is that the therapist answer or the mom answer?” she asked.
“It’s both,” Allison said without hesitation. “You all have a lot of history together. If you can get past this with Holly and move on to settle into a new friendship between you, then wonderful. But it’s also okay to cut ties and think of yourself in all this, too. They both hurt you, deeply.”
Evie drew in a long, deep breath, not sure how she’d survive without her mother. She always felt put together because she’d grown up around a seriously put-together and strong woman. While she was a little more logical than her mother would like, she never felt alone in this big, crazy world. She always felt understood, and there was something magical in that. “Thanks, Mom. I’m sure I’ll be fine once the dust settles.”
“Good. So, now that we’ve got that out of the way,” her mother said, voice turning hard. “Who is Greyson Crawford?”
Evie stared at the house across the street. Fuck. “Well…I…” She kind of hoped her parents wouldn’t find out about Grey. Damn close-knit communities! “I haven’t mentioned him because I wasn’t really expecting it to work out,” she explained gently. “He just came to the wedding with me. I didn’t want you to go all therapist on me and examine the hell out of him.”
Her mother paused. Then, “You want me to believe that you, Evie Richards, took a man you don’t really like to your childhood friend’s wedding?”
“Yes.”
Another hesitation then she gave a curt snort. “Evie, I read people for a living. That’s my job. Do you honestly think that I don’t know you’re lying to me right now?”
“Oh, I know you know,” Evie retorted, pushing against her feet so the swing began to move back and forth. “I’m just hoping you won’t say anything about it.”
Allison laughed softly. “You are your father’s daughter, there is no doubt about that.”
Dad hated talking feelings with Mom, too. A little hope appeared. “Does that mean we don’t have to talk about this?” Evie asked.
“No,” her mother said. “You’re sad. I can hear it in your voice. What’s wrong?”
“Nothing is wrong. I’m not sad. Maybe a little confused.” She hesitated, and then knew better. “Okay, maybe very confused, but honestly, I’m fine.”
“Evie,” her mother drawled.
A shiver ran down Evie’s spine. She knew that voice. If she didn’t tell her mother something, she’d be there on the next plane. Because as much as her mom could poke and prod, she did so because she was worried. Maybe her job caused that panic. She knew all the terrible things that could go on in someone’s mind.
To kill her mother’s concern, and looking for comfort from the one person who absolutely never judged her, she explained, “Everything is a mess. And, yes, his name is Greyson Crawford, but everyone calls him Grey. You’d like everything about him, Mom. He’s an architect here in Seattle. Actually, scratch that, I’m pretty sure you’d love him. He’s sweet and charming and funny and strong. But he’s got major commitment issues that you, better than anyone, knows can’t be fixed unless the person wants to fix them.”
“Commitment issues how? Like he runs when things get emotional?”
Evie sighed again, tipping her head back against the edge of the swing, the wind brushing across her face. “Well, to be honest, I’m the one who ran, but it’s because I know the type of guy he is.”
“What type?”
“Love ’em and leave ’em.”
Evie lifted her head, watching a bird fly by and land on her big maple tree in her front yard, as her mother commented, “So, you left him before he could leave you?”
“Maybe.” Evie dropped her head into her hand. “Was that wrong? Did I make a huge mistake?”
“There’s nothing that can’t be undone as long as you’re honest with yourself and with everyone else. What happened with Holly and Seth would have rattled anyone, and for you, it would be amplified because of your past with Seth. It is understandable that in that moment you would be uncertain about anyone’s intentions toward you.”
Evie sighed. “He’s…it’s intense with him…no, it’s terrifying.”
“Scary isn’t always a bad thing, sweetheart. Being afraid means you’re feeling something and being pushed out of your comfort zone. It means that he could hurt you, but that means your heart is opening to him in a way that could be a very good thing in the end.”
“But where do I even start?” Evie asked softly. How do I fix all this?
“Start with honesty and go from there.”
Seemed like the only place she could begin. “I love you, Mom.”
“I love you, too.” She paused again. “I’m sorry, but patients call. Good luck with this. You’re a beautiful, sweet, and amazing woman. Trust your gut, Evie.”
“Thanks, I will. Bye.”
“Goodbye.”
Evie clicked end on her cordless phone and then placed it down beside her cell phone on the porch. With the birds chirping and the wind rustling the leaves on the tree, she leaned her head back against the swing and shut her eyes. “Okay, Evie, think this through,” she said to herself. “Is this more than sex? He did fight hard to go out with you. Can he commit to a woman? Who knows, you didn’t really give him a chance. Can he care about you? He made you so happy. Dammit, Evie, you should’ve at least stayed to talk. He made you happy!”
Someone cleared their throat.
Evie screamed, finding Grey leaning against the porch. He arched a single brow, giving her a sly grin. “Done talking to yourself, angel?”