STEPPING OUT OF THE ELEVATOR on the fourth floor, Darby made her way to the staff lounge in Labor and Delivery. The ER was dead, as was the Psych floor, so she had time to kill in one of her favorite places. Unlike the staff lounge in the Psych ward, a barren wasteland of a water cooler and a coffee pot with muddy contents that were always poorly made, overheated and stale, the lounge in Labor and Delivery always had a cornucopia of good things: half-eaten cakes with blue and pink icing, and savory meals provided by grateful parents wishing to thank the staff who had ushered their babies into the world.
Darby’s bad habit of forgetting to eat and her disdain for cafeteria food meant that she made her way up there whenever she got the chance. It wasn’t uncommon for the new nurses and aides to think that Darby was herself an OB and, once upon a time, that had been her plan. A few times when OB had been understaffed, and quite against hospital rules, she’d been recruited to assist in a birth. It made her fleetingly regret having specialized in psychiatry. Cradling newborns everyday was an enviable reward.
Upon entering the lounge, she immediately spotted her friend Anne leaning against the counter closest to the coffee machine. The heavyset nurse was drinking greedily from a comically large mug that read “The blood of Christ. The cup of salvation.” and pictured a chalice embossed with a coffee bean.
Darby shared Anne’s sardonic sense of humor, and between the two of them they had an impressive collection of what they lovingly referred to as ‘sarcastica’. Just as Darby had bought Anne the coffee mug she held, so also had Anne bought the one in Darby’s hand. It read ‘She was one cocktail away from proving his mother right.’ Anne Taintor was pretty much their idol.
“Someone brought in sushi.” Anne offered between gulps, already knowing Darby’s intentions and also knowing that her friend loved sushi. “That shit goes straight to my hips, but knowing you, you’d eat the whole thing and not gain a pound.”
Darby made her way to the refrigerator. ”You just get here?” she asked. The Labor and Delivery shifts were on different timing from hers.
“Ten hours in.” Anne said it softly. “But one of my moms is having trouble, so I’ll probably stay late.”
“Is she going to be alright?” Anne was one of the most fiercely caring people she’d ever met. She was irreverent and had a wicked sense of humor, and they were alike in that her bluntness rubbed some people the wrong way. Still, Darby had never met a single person who cared so much about her patients. If Darby ever wanted kids, and if it were possible for her to have them, she’d want Anne in the room.
“Maybe.” It confirmed something subtle that Darby had thought she’d seen in her face. “Tell me something good,” Anne diverted before Darby could find comforting words. “Did you stick an apple in Huck’s mouth and roast him slowly over an open fire? Did you meet a tall, dark stranger and are having monkey hot sex?”
Now it was Darby who must have given something away, she immediately knew when she saw Anne’s eyes widen.
“Are you seeing someone?”
Darby didn’t answer, not because she wouldn’t have confided in her friend, but because she realized she didn’t know the answer. Shoving a section of shrimp tempura roll into her mouth in order to buy herself some chewing time seemed like a good idea.
“Seeing may be too strong a word.”
“Are you fucking someone?”
Darby weaved her head from side to side, in the universal gesture for “maybe”, as she devoured another piece of sushi.
“A little bit of both.”
Anne stared at her unforgivingly.
“Yeah. You’re gonna have to elaborate.”
“So, there is a guy…and we are fucking…but we also go out together sometimes.”
“The rest of us call that dating,” Anne said slowly, as if Darby were in kindergarten.
Darby really needed to get it together, or else she would be dangerously full of sushi by the time she returned to her floor.
“Actually, it’s more like…an arrangement.”
“It’s not Prince William, is it?” Anne lowered her voice even though they were alone. That was what Anne liked to call Rich. She’d been candidly instructing Darby to ‘hit that’ for years.
“What? No. It’s not like that with us. Besides, Rich is married—remember?”
“Not for long.” Anne cast her a knowing look. “I heard they’re getting a divorce.”
Darby stopped chewing and spoke around a mouthful of avocado roll. “No shit…” She and Rich saw each other all the time. She wondered why he hadn’t said anything.
“Well if it’s not him, who is it?” Anne didn’t miss a beat.
“Just a guy. No one from the hospital. I met him at a wedding, one thing led to another, and—”
“And you made a new friend with benefits.”
Darby weaved her head indecisively yet again.
“Something like that.”
“You know that men and women can’t just be friends. Someone always grows feelings.”
Darby shook her head. “Not us. We made a deal. As soon as things get complicated, we break it off—no questions, no strings.”
Her friend continued to give her a skeptical look.
“Don’t give me that look—have I ever gotten attached to a guy in the time you’ve known me?” Anne didn’t need to answer. “That’s what I thought. I don’t know why people act like having a fuck buddy is weird. What’s weirder is the idea that two adults can’t figure out a relationship that works uniquely for them. Look at Oprah and Stedman—nobody understands their relationship but they’ve been together for, like, 20 years.”
“So you’re in a relationship with this guy?”
Darby felt caught.
“Yes,’ she decided finally. The moment she acknowledged it to Anne was the same moment in which she acknowledged it to herself. “But it’s not what you think,” she cautioned. “We’re not together, together. We serve a purpose to one another. He’s sick of eating alone. I’m sick of watching movies at home with my hermit crab.”
Though Anne still looked wary, the expression on her face softened a little. “And you’re sure that’s enough?” she asked carefully.
“I like him. And I like fucking him. But I’ve got too much of my own shit going on to have time for anything else.”
“So, what’s he like?”
Darby smiled as she began to dish about him.
“He’s an architect. Hotter than all get-out—like, Calvin Klein model hot, and he dresses like a model, too. He’s a total pro in bed. The sex is almost…spiritual.”
Anne sat next to Darby at the table, placed her elbow down and propped her chin up on the heel of her hand. Darby was thankful her friend didn’t mention her blush.
“He’s really smart. Mysterious, but not in a creepy way. A really good guy, but ambitious like me.”
“You’re right—that’s not the kind of guy girls fall in love with.” Anne smiled, the sarcasm in her voice joking and light.
“It’s not like that. We know that our careers come first. We understand each other.”
“Sounds like you have it all figured out.” Anne’s voice was some mix of admiration and skepticism. “You know I’m going to live this vicariously through you, right?”
“Still not dating, I take it?” Darby asked sympathetically. She knew Anne was having trouble bouncing back after a rough break-up with her girlfriend of five years.
“Worse than that. Susan’s getting married,” Anne said bitterly, speaking of her ex.
“Ouch.” Darby winced.
Darby listened sympathetically to Anne, letting her vent about her shitty ex, about the entire shitty situation. As she made her way back to her own floor some minutes later, she felt relieved to have told someone about Michael.