How was it that a simple scent could make you feel like you were ten years old again? Stevie crossed the threshold into the house and stood in the foyer. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply. It had been a few years now since she lived at home but walking in the front door always took her back to a time when life was simpler. There was something about being in this house that gave her clarity and helped her to see that her problems weren’t insurmountable.

“Stevie?” Her mother came walking out of the kitchen, a tea towel in her hands and an apron around her waist.

“Hi Mom,” she said and let herself fall into the hug.

It didn’t matter how old she got or how famous, Stevie would always need her mom.

“Hey honey,” her mom said patting her back soothingly. “What’s wrong?”

Stevie pulled back and wiped her eyes with a short bark of laughter. Her mom always knew when she was upset even when she tried to hide it.

“Nothing. I just miss you and dad.”

“Did I hear my name?” Stevie’s dad walked out into the foyer. Also from the kitchen, a smudge of flour on his face.

“Hi daddy,” she said, letting him envelope her in a tight hug.

It had been too long since she had been home. She had been so busy that she just couldn’t fit it into her schedule, but she promised herself she would make more effort. Stevie had been feeling scattered but coming home and sinking into the familiarity of being in her childhood home went a long way to putting her back together.

Her father let her go and peered into her eyes. “Come on,” he said, “I’m making waffles.”

Stevie followed her parents into the kitchen. The tour bus was leaving in a couple of hours so breakfast was really the only time she could stop by to see them. They’d been at the concert the night before but things had been so crazy before and then afterward it all got too messy. She wished now that she had come to see them instead of going to see Nate.

“What do you feel like?” her dad asked.

The kitchen counter was covered with all sorts of toppings for her waffles; fresh fruit, syrup, cream, ice cream, bacon.

“Are those caramelized bananas?” she asked.

“Of course,” her father said proudly.

“Okay then. Load me up with bananas, bacon and maple syrup.”

Her father chuckled as he filled her plate. Stevie sat at the kitchen table that had been the center of her childhood. She’d done her homework there, eaten every meal there, drank tea with her mom as she poured out her heart when Nate had broken it. Her mom sat opposite her now and reached across the table, squeezing her hand. Mom didn’t have to say anything. Stevie fought back the tears that threatened to fall. She didn’t want this visit to be about him. She wanted to fill up on the love of her parents so that she could get through the next two months without falling apart.

Her dad bought her a plate and then went back to make a plate for his wife. Stevie sat and watched their easy camaraderie. She was their only child. Complications during her birth meant that her mother couldn’t have any more children. They could have become bitter about it, but they didn’t. Her parents had always had a strong relationship and she loved the way they worked together.

That’s what she wanted. She wanted the same feeling of comfort and ease that they had around each other. They were still affectionate even after all these years and had seemed to grow together, not apart. Some of her earliest childhood memories were of her parents hugging or kissing. She would sometimes sneak out of her room late at night and watch them as they danced together in the living room. That didn’t mean that they didn’t fight, of course they did. But they always made up and always apologized to each other. She wanted a love like that. She wanted to know that in twenty years, thirty, forty, fifty years, that her love for her partner would be stronger and that she would be loved just as completely in return.

It was why she had turned Carson down. Sure, things had been good with him - comfortable and easy - but there was just something missing. That secret ingredient that she saw in her parents’ marriage. She couldn’t really put her finger on what it was exactly, but she knew that it was missing from her relationship with Carson. She refused to even think about whether or not it was present in her relationship with Nate. There was no relationship with him, not anymore.

“Eat up,” her dad said as he came to sit down at the table with his own food.

They chatted easily. Her parents asking questions about the tour, complimenting her on the concert the night before and asking about the plans for the next leg of her journey. They didn’t mention Nate specifically, which she was glad about, but she knew they were dying to know what was going on. Stevie had told them about meeting up with Nate again but hadn’t gone into specifics. Her mom and dad had picked up the pieces after Nate had left her to sign with Rocksteady and her dad had managed all the negotiations when Nate had wanted to use her songs on his first album. She would sit down with them at some point and tell them what happened (well, the parent friendly version anyway), but not yet. His rejection was still too raw for her to talk about without falling into a heap and sobbing hysterically.

After breakfast, she helped with the clean-up and did the dishes. The simple acts that had played out in her family all her life were like a soothing balm. By the time she was ready to leave, much of her sanity had been restored. She hugged her parents tight and promised to come see them as soon as the tour was finished. She thought she might take a couple of weeks break and just hide out here, but she didn’t tell them that. She would get through the tour first and then see if her broken heart was any closer to being healed.

Stevie knocked on Darla’s front door and waited. She had only been to the house once, when Tom and Darla got married. They hadn’t moved in then, but Darla had fallen in love with it and Tom had bought it for her as a wedding present.

The door flew open and Darla enveloped her in a hug before dragging her inside. Stevie smothered the yelp of surprise when she looked around. The place was a mess, not at all Darla’s style, and packing boxes were everywhere.

“You’re moving?”

“Yes! Isn’t it exciting?”

“But how?” Stevie turned in a circle taking in the chaos. “Why?”

“Why are you so surprised?” Darla asked. “We talked about this ages ago.”

“I know, but…” Stevie looked around her at the packing boxes. “I guess I didn’t realise it would be happening so soon.”

“I told you the salon sold,” she said and Stevie nodded. “Well…Tom got a new job.”

“Does that mean…?”

“We’re moving to Nashville!”

Stevie pulled Darla into a fierce hug.

“Yes!”

They jumped up and down and squealed like little girls. The sound of a baby’s cry quietened them.

“Crap. We woke the kidlets,” Darla said.

Stevie followed her through the maze of half-packed boxes to the nursery. The twins quietened as Darla spoke soothingly to them and picked one up. She directed Stevie to get the other one. Her little face was flushed and her hair in curls where sweat had dampened her scalp. Stevie cuddled her, breathing in her baby scent. One day she wanted one of her own, but not yet. She was quite happy to play Aunty Stevie for the time being.

“Where’s your nanny?” Stevie asked as they wound their way back to the kitchen where Darla began heating up a couple of bottles.

“She’s doing the shopping. It’s been so great having her here. We’ve asked her to come with us, but she hasn’t given an answer yet. I hope she says yes, she’s become part of the family.”

“And how are you?” Stevie asked. Darla had had a meltdown when she had visited Stevie in Nashville and Stevie had thought that perhaps she was suffering from post-partum depression.

Darla sighed. “I went to the doctor and he agreed that it was depression. He put me on some mild tablets and I’ve been seeing a therapist. I’m good, well, doing better and Tom has been wonderful. How’d I get so lucky to marry a man like him?”

Stevie smiled and her heart ached a little. Darla and Tom were another couple that had that special ingredient that her parents had. It was evident in the way they cared for each other and looked after one another. Was it too much to ask for Stevie to find something like that too?

Darla handed Stevie a bottle and led them into the living room where they sat and fed the babies. They had grown so much since Stevie had seen them last and she was sad to have missed out.

“So what’s going on between you and Nate?” Darla asked.

Stevie groaned. Of course her best friend in the world would go straight for the jugular. “Nothing,” she answered.

“Bullshit,” Darla said, not caring that there were babies present. “There was enough heat between the two of you last night to set alight a forest fire. I practically devoured Tom when we got home because of all the pheromones flying through the air.”

Stevie smirked. “Somehow I doubt I was the reason you wanted to have your wicked way with your husband.”

Darla grinned. “True. But all that sexy playing out on stage definitely sped up the process.” Darla sobered and looked down at the babe in her arms. “What’s going on? You two were hot and heavy last time I saw you.”

Stevie sighed and leaned back against the couch. “We had an agreement. We were only going to fool around while we were working together in Nashville.”

“That still doesn’t explain why he didn’t show up that night.”

“I guess he felt we were over.”

“I didn’t get that impression last night. The two of you were hot for each other. I saw it and so did everyone else in the crowd.”

The baby pushed the bottle away and Stevie shifted her so that she was on her shoulder. She began the rhythmic rubbing and patting of her back until a huge burp escaped from the baby’s mouth. She resettled her in her arms and offered her the bottle again.

“Stevie? What happened?”

She couldn’t stop the tears this time. They fell from her eyes unfettered as she watched the baby suckle the bottle.

“I went to him after the concert. I felt it too. That connection. He’d been so good to me during the filming of the music video and then last night it just felt like that, whatever there was between us was nowhere near finished. So I went to him and he turned me away. Told me it could never work between us. He told me he was no good for me and that hooking up with me had been a mistake.”

“Oh, honey,” Darla murmured. “So we hate him again?”

Stevie snorted a rueful laugh. “Yep. Let’s hate him again. It might hurt less.”

Nate growled as the knocking on his trailer pulled him from sleep. He’d broken his no-drinking rule last night. He’d felt justified. His life was going to shit anyway so why not drown his sorrows and do a little bit more damage to his liver? At least the alcohol numbed the pain enough so that he could sleep.

The banging on the door started up again and he sat up. Pain speared through his head and his stomach roiled. God. He felt like shit. With a groan, he pushed up off the bed and pulled on a pair of sweatpants. It was probably Mabel. She was always on his fucking case about something. They were supposed to be leaving today, so she was probably impatient to get on the road.

He flung the door open. “What?”

“You look like hell.” Darla. Not Mabel.

He sighed and leaned against the doorframe. “What do you want, Darla?”

“Can I come in for a minute?” she asked trying to peer past him into the interior of the trailer. “Or do you have some sleazy groupie in there?”

He stepped back and swept his hand across him to indicate she could enter. “No one in here but us chickens.”

She climbed the stairs and looked cautiously into the trailer. “No skanks?”

He sighed and sat at the table. He closed his eyes and leant his head back against the seat. “There’s no one here, Darla. What the fuck do you want?” There was no heat in his tone, just resignation.

She sat down across from him and took time to really look at him. Nate squirmed under her examination.

“Well at least you look worse than Stevie does.”

He didn’t answer. How could he? What would he even say?

“What the hell, Nate?” Darla said, slumping back into the seat. “I told you not to hurt her. I warned you I would come for you if you did.” She huffed out a sigh. “I really thought that you finally had your shit together. I believed you’d grown up and that you finally saw Stevie for who she was. Then you had to go and piss it all away, and for what?”

“Darla—”

“No, really. For what?” She sat up in the seat and leaned forward as she warmed to her subject. “What crawled up your ass and turned you back into the chicken shit that you were five years ago?”

Nate screwed his eyes closed and tried to think past the pounding in his head. Would Darla even understand how he felt about Stevie? Would anyone? They all saw him as such a fuck up and he doubted that anyone would believe that he was actually trying to do the right thing this time.

“You wouldn’t underst—”

“Try me, asshole,” she spat. “That is my god-dammed best friend and you’ve ripped her fucking heart out. Not once, not twice, but three fucking times now. Give me a reason not to shoot you in the balls because I am damned close to doing just that.”

Nate dropped his head in his hands. “I’m doing it for her,” he mumbled.

“What?”

He sighed and lifted his head. “I’m doing it for her. I know you don’t think I’m a very good person, but I am honestly trying to do right by Stevie. I’m in love with her for god’s sake—”

“Then why the hell are you pushing her away?”

“If you would shut up a minute and let me talk.” He took a deep breath. “Stevie is in the middle of a tour and the last thing she needs is to get tangled up in a relationship… any relationship. By the end of this tour she is going to be a fucking superstar. I would be a liability to her. I know she’s hurting right now, but she will thank me in the long run. I would be nothing but baggage for her and that’s something she doesn’t need. I need to let her go so she can experience the success that is coming her way unencumbered. I’m not explaining myself very well. Do you understand?”

“You’re doing this for her?”

“Yes,” he said, looking down at his hands. “I want her to have everything. I know she is going to be the hottest new talent around and everyone is going to want a piece of her. The last thing she needs is for someone to put the two of us together. It would ruin everything for her. I’m persona non grata at the moment. Yes, we have a song together, but anything more than that would be poison for her right now. I would be poison.”

Darla sat back and studied him. “You really are in love with her.”

He nodded sadly. “I really am.”

“Well fuck me,” she breathed.

“And this is my penance,” he said, “for walking away from her five years ago. This is my punishment for not believing in her… in us. I don’t get to have her. Not now and probably not ever. I fucked everything up back then and it’s coming back to bite me in the ass now.”

Darla leaned forward and laid a hand over Nate’s. “Don’t write her off just yet,” she said. “I understand what you’re trying to do and I even applaud you for it, but don’t write off the future just yet. Let her have her success, let her get through this tour and you finish yours. When you’re both back in Nashville then see what the lay of the land is. Stevie loves you, has loved you for most of her life. I don’t understand it, but I know that she has never stopped loving you.”

“It’s too late, Darla. I’ve done too much to make up for.”

“Maybe. Maybe not. You’ve changed. I like this side of you Nate. This unselfish side who sees others and wants the best for them.”

He didn’t say anything. He didn’t think he deserved Darla’s admiration.

“Here’s what you are going to do. You are going to finish your tour and you are going to win back every fan you lost. You are going to reclaim your fucking rock star status so that when you finally go to Stevie, the two of you will be on equal footing. She needs you in her life but not until you have something to offer her, something strong and sure. So that is your mission. Take this opportunity you’ve been given and run with it. Prove to her that you really are the man that she always thought you were.”