Chapter Seventeen
He had to tell her. Today. Had to tell her that he wasn’t just a carpenter, that he’d reached the top of his career ladder. That he was a Production Designer, that he’d lied and tricked her. God, he was such an asshole.
He should have told her last night, had tried to, but then gave in to her passion. Could anyone really blame him? Sex in his truck was hot.
Then after their tryst¸ he couldn’t find the words. He’d spent himself in her and he didn’t want to destroy the afterglow with his confession. He was filled with excuses, he heard them in his head and recognized them for what they were. No more of them. He’d tell her. As soon as he saw her again. Tell first, sex later. If there’d be sex after he told her remained to be seen.
No, he couldn’t think like that. She had to forgive him…right? He wished he could be sure.
He tossed and turned through the night, trying to decide what he’d say, how he’d explain his deceit. When the sun came up the next day, he still had nothing except bleary eyes from lack of sleep. Well, bleary eyes and a semi because he always had at least a semi when he thought about Heather.
He rolled out of bed early for a run, hoping it would focus his thoughts before he got ready to meet up with Heather. They had the day off from filming, but she had invited him to her house for her big Jenna Markham interview. Just thinking about the interview made his heart pound. She planned to tell Jenna about Seth—about her and Seth. Which was awesome and terrifying all at once. It was a lot—going to Heather’s house for the first time, announcing that they were an item, and on top of that, planning to drop the bomb that he’d lied to her for weeks. Not good timing. He should have told her earlier.
But he hadn’t.
Now he couldn’t wait. Once his name was out in the world, someone would discover his resume. That would definitely not be the best way for Heather to find out.
He had to be the one to tell her. Before the interview.
After a quick shower, he dressed in khaki slacks and a dark blue button down shirt, then downed two cups of coffee in succession before shooting Heather a text asking if he could come over early.
“Come now,” was her reply.
He dismissed the automatic “That’s what she said,” response, which he would have given if there wasn’t so much weighing on his mind, and sent, “On my way,” instead.
It wasn’t hard to find her house. He’d known where she lived for a while, even though he’d never been there. The drive was at least thirty minutes from his place in Hollywood Hills if he could manage to avoid traffic. Which he didn’t.
Almost an hour and a half later, Seth pulled into the drive outside her home. The house was ridiculous, especially for a woman living alone, though compared to the nearby Bel Air houses, Heather’s seemed fairly modest.
It took a lengthy self-pep-talk before Seth could get out of the truck. What the fuck was he pussying out about anyway? He’d done something shitty and now he needed to come clean. Take your lumps like a man, he said to himself. He’d do it as soon as he saw her. Do it quick like ripping off a band-aid.
After working through his hesitation, he headed up the front pathway and rang the bell. When the door opened, he expected to see Heather, or at the very least Lexie. Instead, he was greeted by a bald guy wearing a headset.
“Is Heather…around?” Seth knew he had the right house. He had to have a code to get past the front gate and the one she had given him had worked.
The bald guy creased his brows. “Yeah, is she expecting you?”
Fuck, he didn’t want to explain himself to some strange dude—a muscular Seal look-alike who’d answered his girlfriend’s door, no less.
But Seth decided not to let himself get all prickly. He obviously had no idea what the situation was.
Teeth gritted, he forced a smile and held out his hand in greeting. “She is expecting me. Seth Rafferty.”
Seal ignored Seth’s outstretched hand and pushed a button on his headset. “Seth Rafferty’s at the door.” He paused. “Yep.” He turned back to Seth. “You’re cool.”
“I know I am. And who are you?” But the dude was already heading deeper into the house.
Seth shut the front door and followed suit, his eyes widening at the marble entryway and grand staircase as he passed by them. The place seemed much more pretentious than the Heather he’d known and grown to, well, care for, but she’d also changed a lot in the several weeks since they’d met. This house was a hundred miles from the world she came from, the same world he’d come from. Like her, he’d also crawled out of the ditch, but he’d never felt the need to run as far as she did, to put so much distance between himself and his roots. Her ostentatious crib reminded him how full of self-loathing Heather had been. Had he been the sole reason for the change? He hoped what he had to tell her didn’t affect how much she’d grown.
He followed after the Seal wannabe through a great room and to an outdoor patio where a whole lot of hustle and bustle was occurring. Seal began helping a group place bright lights around the area, a boom operator appeared to be setting mic levels, a cameraman was cleaning his lenses—it was as if he’d walked onto a film set.
It took him a minute to find Heather in the midst of the hubbub. She sat in a director’s style chair, her eyes closed and her chin tilted up as a makeup artist powdered her face.
Damn. This was the interview crew. He hadn’t gotten there early enough.
Seth looked at his watch. It wasn’t even ten yet and he’d been under the impression the crew was arriving at eleven. There went his chance of talking to her before she went on-film. Damn, damn, damn.
Heather spotted him the minute she opened her eyes, as if she were drawn to him like a magnet. Her face brightened with a gorgeous smile. “Seth!”
He made his way to her. “I didn’t realize they’d be here already.”
“They got here early. Right after you texted. Which is fine. I was a mess waiting for them anyway. I did want to spend time with you beforehand. And we never got a chance to talk. I know you wanted to last night and now it’s crazy here.”
From her babble he could tell she was nervous. Or excited. Or both. It was adorable. His gut twisted again with the guilt of his lie.
She took his hand in hers. “Do you want to slip away for a few minutes?”
He paused. He needed to talk to her, but this was an important moment. He couldn’t upset her right before she went on film. “You can’t do that.”
“Actually, I can. They can’t do anything without me. Part of the perks of being the star.”
“I imagine that is.” He cherished that even though she’d become more grounded since they’d met, she still had a good amount of diva inside. He wouldn’t have it any other way—that was who she was, and a part of him longed to take her up on her offer to escape, not to tell her the truth, but to fool around before she had to be onscreen.
Probably not a good idea.
“No, don’t worry about me. We can talk later. You need to focus.”
Seth turned to find a much-too-skinny middle-aged brunette standing next to them and holding a clipboard, apparently waiting for their conversation to wrap up.
“Hi, I’m Myrna, Jenna’s assistant,” the skinny woman said. “Sorry to interrupt, but I need to prep Ms. Wainwright.” Her expression said that she was anything but sorry.
“I’ll join you for this.” Lexie appeared out of nowhere at his other side.
Seth looked to Heather, who nodded reassuringly. “I’m fine.”
“Then I’ll just be over there.” He pointed vaguely to the area behind them. “Out of the way. Call me if you need me.”
Finding an out of the way place proved harder than he’d thought. Everywhere Seth tried to stand, he was in the pathway of someone trying to hang a light or run an electric cord. Eventually, he secured a spot on a garden wall that was close enough to watch what was going on yet far enough away to not be a hindrance.
On the sidelines, time seemed to drag. Myrna “prepped” Heather for ages with Lexie at her side. It drove him crazy. His leg wouldn’t stop twitching and if he had long fingernails, he was certain he’d have chewed them all off by now, no matter how much it made him look like a little girl.
Man, what was his problem? He’d been on a thousand sets—this was no different.
Except that his job was always off camera, and even though his face wouldn’t be on camera this time either, his name would be. Then he’d be on cameras all the time, everywhere he went with Heather, whenever a fan held up his iPhone or a photographer wanted a “Day in the Life” pic.
The idea of instant stardom didn’t bother him that much. It would be different, definitely would take some getting used to. But no big deal. What bothered him was what he knew the media would find out about him. Thank God he didn’t have a bunch of secrets he was hiding. Just the one, but it was a big one. He was ready to spill it as soon as he was alone with Heather, which wouldn’t be until this whole circus was over. So if the prep time could hurry up and finish and the stupid interview could just start, then the sooner the whole thing would be over with and he and Heather could move on once and for all.
Funny how he’d lost Erica because of lying, and now he was worried about losing Heather for lying again. Somewhere, there should have been a lesson in that.
After about a lifetime, Myrna finally appeared satisfied with Heather and her answers. Then the makeup artist returned to freshen up the star. Then Lexie returned to lean over Heather, and from the looks of it, prep her in an entirely different way than Myrna had. Unable to make out what they were saying, Seth crept closer.
“I can still tell her it’s an off-limit subject,” he heard Lexie saying when he was near enough.
Heather shook her head. “She wouldn’t go for it. Jenna demands full access. Besides, I want to talk about it.”
He guessed they were talking about him, about coming out about their relationship. It made sense that Lexie would want to make sure Heather was okay with it. Hearing about Jenna’s full access demands, though, made him worry Heather had been pressured. Was she announcing he was her boyfriend simply because this snooty reporter expected it?
Lexie didn’t seem to think so—or if she did, it didn’t bother her. “I don’t know what you did with Heather Wainwright, but I’m starting to like this imposter.”
“Oh, don’t patronize me.”
“That’s my job.” Lexie adjusted Heather’s hair to fall gracefully on her shoulder. “Now, sit up straight. Don’t chew on your finger. Or say ‘um’ too much. And an occasional smile wouldn’t hurt.”
“Oh my God. This isn’t my first interview.” Seth could feel Heather’s eye roll, even though Lexie hid her face from his view.
“It’s your first Jenna Markham interview. She’s brutal. She makes everyone cry.”
“She’s not going to make me cry.”
Lexie took a step back and crossed her arms. “Are you sure about that?”
“No.” Heather bit her lip. “But I’ll be okay if I do.”
Crying? What kind of an interview was this supposed to be? Each second of this prep conversation was making him uneasy, and this wasn’t even the real deal.
He took a step toward them, coming into Heather’s view, needing to assure for himself that Heather was going to be okay.
“Seth!”
“Hey, princess.” He took her hand, pulling her to stand near him. “Are you good? Do you need me to do something?”
“No, I’m good. I really am. You look a little lost though. Are you all right with all of this?”
“Yeah, yeah, I’m good.” Her hand was sweating within his. Or his was sweating. Hell, he was sweating everywhere. “I’m kind of nervous,” he admitted, though she had to see it already. “How do you do this over and over again? It’s insane!”
She took his other hand in hers and squeezed both of them. “You get used to it after a while.” She laughed. “What am I saying? I’m totally nervous too. Like, so nervous. It isn’t usually like this at all. This is more preparation for an interview than I’ve ever had. It’s crazy!”
For half a second he wondered if she was just saying that to make him feel better, but one look in her eyes and he knew what she said was true. “Well, be reassured that I’m right there with you.”
She smiled. A stupid, silly grin that made his groin pull. “I’m going to mention you when she asks me about the 24-Hour Plays. I’ll tell her we met then.” She let out a deep breath. “Are you okay with this? I could back out. I mean, I don’t have to mention you at all. Unless you want me to.”
He pulled her close enough to lean his forehead on hers. “I want you to. You know that.” Then he remembered her conversation with Lexie. “Are you sure you want to? You aren’t just doing this because you think you have to, are you?”
“No!” She pulled away so she could wrap her hands around his neck and meet his eyes. “I’m doing this interview because I want to talk. About you. About me. I’m excited about it. And I’m a mess of nerves.”
There was something else he was worried about, and didn’t know quite how to say it. It wouldn’t have been an issue if he’d gotten to talk to her alone before the interview, but he hadn’t so he had to find the words. “Heather, would you mind not…would you mind not mentioning what I do?”
“Oh, baby, are you embarrassed?”
He wanted to laugh. He wasn’t at all embarrassed. He was worried she’d look like a fool when she wrongly declared that Seth Rafferty was a carpenter on national television.
“I’m not. But I don’t want it to turn into that—that I’m using you for your money, all that. The media will find out soon enough. It won’t bother me when they do. But we don’t have to make their job any easier.”
“Good point. It doesn’t matter to me anyway. What you do. Not anymore. Since it doesn’t matter, there’s no need to mention it.”
Damn, he wanted to take her away from this insane scenario and make love to her for hours. He’d wanted so much to hear those words from her, and now she’d said them at a time when he could do little to cherish them.
He was still soaking it in when Heather was called to her place. She pulled her phone out of her bra where she’d been keeping it and handed it to him. “Can you keep this for me? You are staying to watch, right?” she asked.
He took her phone from her hand and stuck it in his pocket. “That’s why I’m here, remember?”
“Good. Thank you. I know it probably seems weird, but it means a lot to me that you’re here. I wouldn’t be able to do this without you.”
“It means a lot to me that you would say that.” His eyes skimmed down to her lips. “Will I mess up your makeup if I kiss you?”
“Who the hell cares?”
She initiated the kiss, placing her lips gently on his. Despite her blasé attitude, the kiss was chaste, but the sweetness of it tugged at his heart.
He pulled her into a hug. “You’ll be amazing, Heather,” he said into her ear. “Have I told you I believe in you? Because I do.”
“No, you haven’t. But I know.” She kissed his neck before pulling out of his arms. “I think you’re crazy, but I know.”
“Crazy about you.”
“Aww.” It was half appreciation, half groan. Maybe more than half groan.
“Too cheesy?”
“Pretty much.” She put her thumbs up. “But it’s good. I like it. Bring on the cheese.”
An assistant led Heather to her seat, but it was another twenty minutes before they were ready to shoot. Only then did Jenna Markham make her first appearance since Seth had arrived, having spent all the prep time in Heather’s guesthouse. If Seth had to guess, he’d say Jenna was in her late fifties. She wore a cream skirt and jacket, a nice contrast to her perfectly coifed brunette hair. She looked good next to Heather, sitting in one of the armchairs the crew had brought out to the deck. Heather’s light blue dress with cream trim seemed to match the older woman’s. With as much fuss and detail as had gone into the event, it wouldn’t surprise him if they had been coordinated.
Seth bit back a laugh. He knew that Heather was known as the diva of Hollywood and that Jenna would most likely highlight that in her interview. But within seconds, it was obvious that the diva on set was Jenna. Not only had her grip of assistants done her job while she sat back in an out-of-the-way location for the entirety of the morning, but once she’d appeared, it seemed the crew forgot all about Heather and focused every bit of energy on Jenna.
Appropriate, he supposed, seeing how Jenna was their boss. Still, it made him tense, feeling as though his girlfriend had been left to the wolf in pretty clothing.
It only took an hour for Seth to be able to attempt looking relaxed. After ninety minutes, he actually began to feel relaxed. So far, the questions had been fairly routine. Jenna had asked about Heather’s career, starting from her earliest jobs to her more significant works. Perhaps her preparation offset was more essential than Seth first thought. She was laid back with her approach, often stopping between questions to talk to Heather candidly before going back into interviewer mode. With so many breaks, no wonder it took several hours of footage to get a decent fifteen-minute piece.
After two hours, a catering crew arrived to serve lunch. Jenna again disappeared into the guesthouse so Seth and Heather joined Lexie at a table near the pool. Even though everything seemed to be going well, Seth could hardly eat. Jenna hadn’t asked about him yet, and he knew that she was planning to. He noticed Heather barely touched her meal as well.
It was after lunch that the interview really took off. Jenna’s questions became more pointed and direct, less the standard variety. Each new word out of her mouth made his chest tighten and his body go more rigid as she asked Heather about her diva reputation, her ex-boyfriend, Collin and about rumors of other affairs.
Then the conversation turned to Heather’s charity involvements, and Seth stopped breathing altogether.
“You’ve done a lot of work with the Urban Arts Foundation,” Jenna said.
Half of her questions weren’t even really questions, but statements that elicited a response from Heather. It was quite crafty.
“Mostly the 24-Hour Play Events,” Heather said. “But I’ve done a lot of school visits as well.”
“Why this group? What is it about Urban Arts that you’re attracted to?”
Seth leaned forward in the director’s chair that he’d commandeered once filming began. He sat where Heather could look over at him if she needed to, though she’d kept her eyes off him most of the interview. Now her eyes flicked to him and he suddenly realized that Jenna’s question could lead to Heather’s past as easily as it could lead to him.
“Well.” Heather’s eyes returned to her host. “They’re a fantastic organization. Their goal is to keep arts in schools and bring arts to schools that can’t afford it. The people who are involved are the most generous, giving, dedicated people I’ve ever met.”
Seth had to cover his mouth to suppress his sigh. Heather had successfully escaped having to talk about her life growing up. Lexie surely must have given Jenna guidelines about what was and wasn’t off-limits. Not that he’d mind if Heather did talk about her past, but he didn’t think she was ready for that. Not quite.
“Sounds like there might be someone special in the bunch?”
Here it was—the moment when she’d mention him. God, he was almost giddy.
“There is someone special. Seth Rafferty.” She smiled and he melted.
Melted? Dude, what was going on with him?
Whatever it was, it was pretty fuckin’ perfect.
“Is Seth your…”
“Boyfriend,” Heather finished for her. “We’ve been seeing each other, um, well, since the plays in L.A.” She paused. Then with a deep breath, she sat up straight. “But he’s not the reason I’ve been so dedicated to the foundation.”
The hairs on his arms stood up as he suddenly understood what Heather had planned, why she’d agreed to this interview. It wasn’t for him.
“What is that reason then, Heather?”
It wasn’t for him and that made him damn ecstatic.
“Because those kids—those kids who only survive their poverty because they’ve got something good to look forward to. I get those kids.”
Seth closed his eyes so he could hear her next words without any visual distractions. So he could savor them with her.
“I was one of them.”