Chapter Three
Heather watched out the tinted passenger window of the BMW as an up and coming director walked into the Broad Stage with his assistant. A few feet behind him was a writer she recognized as well.
“It’s five ’til nine. I guess I got you here too early,” Lexie said. “Do you want me to drive around?”
“No. I want to be on time. But only just on time. So let’s sit a couple of minutes. At least until another one of the actors shows up.” Heather heard how she sounded, how her arrival rules seemed like a game. She wished for the millionth time she didn’t have to be like that.
But then for the millionth time, she reminded herself that this had been the life she’d wanted. The fame and the fortune didn’t come free.
“You never told me how last night went.” Lexie pushed the recline button on her seat. “Since we have a few minutes.”
Heather groaned. When she’d left Drebs after the intros, she’d been in no mood to talk. Her encounter with Seth Rafferty had left her furious and frustrated. Sexually frustrated. To the point that even her favorite pink vibrator wasn’t able to ease her need.
More than twenty-four hours later, her anger had softened, but her confusion had increased. Maybe talking about it would help.
Problem was, where to begin? “It was terrible.” Seth wasn’t the guy she thought he was. The realization had come with Patrick’s ridiculous announcement. “They’re changing the format. They’ve added a set to the show to be constructed in the same time frame.”
“That might be cool.”
Heather gave Lexie her best seriously? look.
But in the privacy of her car with just her assistant, she allowed herself to give it some real thought. “I guess it might be cool. But it’s totally unnecessary.”
“And?”
Lexie had worked with Heather long enough to tell when she was holding something back. Sometimes it was a good thing. Sometimes not so much. “And the guy who’s building the set is an asshole.”
“Is he?”
“He totally called me a bitch.”
“Just out of the blue?”
“Sort of.” No, not out of the blue. That was why she hadn’t wanted to talk about it. Because she’d probably deserved what he’d dished and she didn’t want to admit that.
She pressed her face against the window, remembering how into Seth she’d been before…well, before. How into him she was after too. Even though she was pretending like hell that she wasn’t. “He’s also really, really hot.”
“Oh.”
Her head snapped toward Lexie. “What is that supposed to mean?”
Lexie fiddled with her nose ring and shrugged. “It means, oh.” Heather continued to stare at her friend until she sighed. “It means I understand your frustration. He’s cute, but you would never fool around with a guy like that.”
“A guy like what?” Heather held her breath, half dreading, half hoping Lexie would confront her on her shallowness.
“An asshole.”
“Right.” Heather nodded, accepting the lie. “That’s exactly the problem.”
“What else would it be?”
But of course, that wasn’t what Lexie had meant by a guy like that. She’d meant that Heather would never date a blue-collar type of guy. She’d meant it was beneath her. If Lexie had been brave enough to say it, Heather couldn’t have denied it.
She was so fucking petty it made her sick.
But she couldn’t change how she felt. A lifetime of hard knocks had tattooed her soul and her conceit was born of her attempt to leave that part of her behind. Heather didn’t talk about it much, but she’d shared bits and pieces of her past with her assistant. Though she didn’t have to explain, she was flooded now with the need to be understood—to validate her emotions, to maybe come to some understanding herself.
“Do you know what my father said to me the day he kicked me out?” Heather looked straight ahead, afraid of the intimacy of eye contact. “I was sixteen. I’d told him he was a piece of trash. He said, ‘Trash breeds trash, baby doll. That’s all you’ve ever been, that’s all you’ll ever be.’”
Her eyes stung with the memory. Her mother passed out drunk on the beat-up loveseat they’d covered with a ratty mustard-colored quilt, her father buzzed from coke, smelling like old food and sweat—the scent he always bore after finishing his shift as a dishwasher for a local restaurant. Heather had gotten home late after a show she was in at the community theater and he’d gone off on her, complaining that she didn’t pull her weight around the house. He told her she had to quit all that “acting stuff”, drop out of school and get a real job.
And in retaliation, she’d told him she wasn’t going to give up her future just because her parents were trash.
He’d laughed at her. Told her she’d never amount to anything.
Then he told her to get her things and get out.
So she had. And she never looked back.
Well, maybe she did look back. More like kept peering over her shoulder. The past found a way of slamming into her from time to time and keeping an eye out for it at least helped her prepare.
Now, Heather bit her lip before any tears could fall and was surprised when Lexie’s hand landed firm and comforting on her thigh.
“But you’re not trash,” Lexie said. “And you never were. Even if you messed around with a guy who reminded you of the trailer parks, it wouldn’t mean you’re living up to your daddy’s prophecy.”
“I know.” But didn’t Heather sort of believe exactly that? That if she didn’t rise above her past in every area of her life that she would have proven her father right? Even now, as successful and rich as she was, she always felt like she was just one wrong choice away from being right back where she came from. “I know,” she said again. “But I don’t know. You know?”
“I know.”
Heather returned her gaze out the window and saw an actor she knew entering the Broad Stage. “There’s Matt Shone. I should go in.”
She reached for her oversized bag, but the strap caught on her seatbelt latch and the whole thing tumbled forward, the contents spilling on the car floor.
Heather cursed as she began shoving items back in her bag. This was totally a sign that she should clean out her purse more often. Did she really need three packs of gum and four different flavors of lip-gloss? Not to mention the random papers and trash and empty pill bottles.
Her hand closed around her birth control pills container—her empty birth control pills container—and she cursed again.
“What’s wrong now?” Lexie asked, pointing her cell phone light toward the floor so Heather could see what she was doing.
Heather held up her pill container. “I was supposed to pick up my refill today and I forgot. Can you go?” She’d already missed starting her pack by a day. Maybe two. She didn’t quite remember. Mostly she used them to regulate her period these days anyway, since sex wasn’t in her recent repertoire.
“Of course. At your pharmacy back in Bel Air?”
“Yeah. Do you mind?” Heather felt awful. It would be more than an hour round trip. “I’m really sorry.”
Lexie shrugged. “No problem. Can you manage the check-in without me?”
Heather considered. “I’m sure I can figure it out. Just be back to pick me up when we’re done with the intros, which should be around eleven.”
“Then I’ll see you at eleven.”
“Cool.” Heather opened the door and stepped outside of the car, slinging her purse over her shoulder.
“Don’t let anyone call you a bitch,” Lexie called after her.
Heather rolled her eyes but smiled before she shut the door behind her.
At the entrance of the Broad Stage, she was greeted by a member of the stage crew she recognized from previous years, though she couldn’t recall her name. The tag on her breast pocket displayed it as a reminder. Oh, Vera. That was it.
Vera led Heather through the sign-in process. First, she took her picture against a black backdrop for the programs and together they composed a short bio. Then there was the equity paperwork that, had she been there instead of driving off to Bel Air, Lexie would have filled out. Heather struggled through it herself, asking for a new form when she’d written down the real year she’d been born instead of the one she kept on file with Actor’s Equity. It was pathetic how much she relied on her assistant.
Throughout check-in, Heather kept her eyes on the people roaming the theater. Though she wouldn’t admit it aloud, she was searching for Seth. His call time had been earlier and he was likely already there, probably backstage. Still, she couldn’t stop hoping he’d pop up in the lobby. She wanted to see him again in the worst way. Wanted to see if that weird attraction she had for him was really as strong as she remembered, or if she’d heightened its intensity in her mind.
But the only people she encountered were writers and directors and actors signing in, as well as the stage manager’s crew who were leading them.
When Heather’s paperwork was completed, Vera gathered a few of the actors and gave them a tour of the stage while she went through the familiar spiel of how the next twenty-four hours would work. “You have ten minutes until intros start. Everyone will be there and you’ll get matched up with the writers and the directors. There’s six of each. After your intros, the writers will have all night to write their plays, about fifteen pages—fifteen minutes—in length. They’ll include info from your intros in the plays they write, so if there’s something you really want to do on stage that you’ve never done, that’s the time to mention it.”
Heather bumped hips with Angie, one of the other actresses. “I know you’ve always wanted to smack me. Now’s your chance.”
Everyone laughed.
“Exactly,” Vera agreed. “The writers have until six in the morning to hand in a finished draft of their play. The directors will arrive at seven. They’ll meet with their crews at eight to discuss tech, blocking, and this year, set construction.”
Heather’s heart skipped a beat at the mention of set—at the thought of Seth. She barely heard Vera continue with her speech.
“At nine, rehearsals start. You’ll rehearse all day until the show goes up tomorrow night at seven. The whole shebang will be over by nine p.m. Then we party.”
“What will they do with the set pieces after the show?” Matt Shone asked.
Good point. Just more proof the whole idea was a waste of resources.
But Vera’s answer surprised Heather. “They’re auctioning them off next month to raise more money for Urban Arts. You can’t imagine how much some people will pay to sit in a chair that was sat in by Heather Wainwright.”
Heather smiled weakly. It was true—her discarded trash made tons of money on eBay. Selling the set pieces was a great idea. An excellent idea. Maybe she’d judged the concept too harshly.
Of course, she already knew it had been the guy not the idea that had her in a dither the night before. He’d even rightly called her on it.
“And what do we do with the props we brought?” This was Matt’s first year at the event and he’d been asking a lot of questions. He was younger than Heather and didn’t run in her circles, but she’d met him a couple of times before.
She shook off thoughts of Seth. “Share your prop at the intros,” she told Matt. “Then the writers will add them into their plays somehow. It’s wicked funny.”
“What did you bring?”
“Uh, uh. You’ll find out when everyone else does.”
The props were Heather’s favorite part of the intros. Some of the items she’d brought in the past included a clown suit, a Chiquita Banana hat, and a large wooden moose. She’d had to make-out with the moose in that play. It had been the hit of the night. This year, she’d brought fur-lined handcuffs. It was sort of on the tame side as far as props went, but a good writer could make something awesome with it.
Except, now that she thought about it, she hadn’t seen the handcuffs when she’d been stuffing her contents back into her bag after spilling it all over the car.
She slipped away from the group into the vestibule at the back of the theater. Dread began to rise as she rooted around through her purse, searching for the prop. Then dread turned into panic when she confirmed its absence.
Dammit!
She pulled her phone from its pocket on the side of her purse and pushed the speed dial button for Lexie. Before her upbeat voice could get out a proper greeting, Heather jumped on her. “Did I leave my cuffs in the car?”
“What?”
“My handcuffs. My prop for tonight. Did they fall out of my purse when I dumped it?”
“I don’t see…” Heather could hear Lexie moving around in her seat and silently prayed her searching didn’t cause an accident. “Oh…wait. I do see them.” It only took half a second before she understood the problem. “Shit! I can race back, but I’m thirty minutes away.”
“That isn’t soon enough. They’re starting in ten minutes. I’m going to have to find something else.”
She hung up on Lexie mid-sentence and began rummaging around in her bag again, this time searching for a substitute. But everything in her purse was mundane and ordinary. Nothing that would even show up on stage from the audience.
For a brief moment she considered going without a prop. What would they do? Kick her out of the plays? She was the spokeswoman.
And that was exactly why she couldn’t go without a prop. She was supposed to be the pro, the actress all the newbies would look to. The prop was one of the most important elements. She had to find something.
She stuck her head in the restroom next to the vestibule. Nothing. Not even a plunger. Then she scanned the empty security desk by the back entrance. Again, nothing. Maybe the small trash container under the desk would work. She kept it as an option but wasn’t ready to end her search.
She crossed the corridor to the workroom at the side of the theater and looked around.
Bingo.
The entire back counter had an array of tools—hammers, saws, screwdrivers, and tools she didn’t know the name of. This was where Seth would be constructing the set pieces. These must be his tools. He’d touched these tools, used them.
She put her hand out and brushed the items as she walked along the counter, enjoying the rush that came from knowing they belonged to the sexy carpenter. Images of him using them filled her mind, turning her entire body to warm mush.
She let her hand settle on an electric drill. It felt strange in her grasp, not an item she’d ever find herself in contact with. She wasn’t even sure she knew how to use one. It was perfect—an unexpected prop and one that a writer could have a lot of fun with.
But she couldn’t take it…could she?
She heard voices from the stage and could tell the group was gathering. The intros were about to start. She had no time. She glanced around to see if she had any other options and spotted an older, more worn drill on the counter. Black sharpie marked it as “Property of Broad Stage”. This drill was better. Bigger and more awkward, but she’d feel less guilty about borrowing it. Without another thought, she picked up the old drill and began wrapping the cord around its body.
“Did you get lost?”
She spun around at the sound of the familiar voice—the voice that made her slippery in her silk panties—and clutched the drill behind her back.
Seth stood in the doorway, one arm propped against the frame, his blue eyes freezing her to her spot. He wore a plain burgundy T-shirt and carpenter jeans. She hadn’t imagined the intensity of her attraction to him—it was real. Just looking at him now made her chest tight and her lungs struggle for air.
Realizing he’d nearly caught her in the act of “borrowing” a tool, she threw her shoulders back and put on her best innocent look. “No, I was…just…trying to find some place I could be alone.” She could feel her eyelashes fluttering as she spoke, as if they had a mind of their own. Whether they were trying to hide her guilt or flirting, she wasn’t sure.
God, she was pathetic.
Seth narrowed his eyes and approached her with long slow steps, each making her heart beat faster. “There are lots of places in the theater to be alone. This isn’t one of them.”
It certainly wasn’t. Though she was alone with him. His words pretty much acknowledging that fact made her lightheaded.
He kept coming toward her until he was right beside her. “Aren’t you supposed to be at the cast Meet and Greet?”
“Aren’t you supposed to be there?”
“I’ll get there eventually.” He leaned against the counter and gestured at her with a nod. “Whatcha got behind your back?”
His scent, a mixture of soap and sweat and cedar, wafted from his skin, making her weak in the knees. “Nothing.” Yeah, that didn’t sound childish. “I mean, none of your business.” Oh, much better.
Why did speaking to Seth always get her so flustered? He wasn’t supposed to talk to her, anyway. It was a rule all the crew was given—only talk to the actors when necessary for the show. That was the assurance given to protect the stars’ privacy. She clutched onto that rule now like a life vest. “You aren’t supposed to talk to me.”
“Whoops.”
Obviously, Seth didn’t care too much about following rules.
And if he was going to be that way, she wasn’t going to feel bad about borrowing a drill. She just had to figure how to get out of there with it. Glancing around, she spotted another exit just behind her. If she walked backwards, she could make it to that door without him spotting the drill. She had to try.
“Well, since I’m essential out there, I better go.” She took one cautious step away from him.
“You mean as opposed to me being unessential.”
She hadn’t meant for that to sound so snotty. “No.” But it was true. The Meet and Greet was about the actors. The set was completely unnecessary. “Well, yes. But…”
“Don’t fret it, princess. I knew what you meant.”
His tone reaffirmed that he’d already made up his mind about her. He thought she was stuck-up, and wasn’t she? But he didn’t have to parade his disgust for her. “Whatever.”
She took another couple of steps backward, but the cord slipped from where she’d wrapped it around the drill. Before she realized it, the heel of her sandal caught on it, throwing her off balance. She cast out her arms, trying to stop her momentum, but she only managed to postpone the inevitable fall.
Thankfully her plummet was stopped by strong, fast arms that circled around her waist in a firm grasp.
“Whoa.” Seth held her, his face inches from hers, concern in his eyes mixed with something else. Desire? “You okay?”
She stared into his face, at his lips so close she could kiss them if she lifted her head. She wanted to lift her head. So bad. “I’m okay.” Her voice was a whisper. “I just tripped.”
His eyes scanned her face, lingering on her mouth. Then moved lower to her breast line. She felt her skin warm and redden under his gaze. When his stare found its way back to hers, he unwrapped an arm from her waist and brought it between them.
She tensed, waiting for his touch. Longing for his touch. Would his hand trail up her arm? Or caress her cheek? Or, though highly inappropriate, brush her breast? She let out a shaky breath at the thought.
But the touch she longed for didn’t come in any form. Instead, he pulled the tool she still clutched from her grasp and curled his lip. “If you needed a drill, princess, all you had to do was ask.”
Disappointed and embarrassed, she pushed out of his arms. “Don’t call me that.”
“Do you need a screw as well?”
“Stop it, okay.” It surprised her how near tears she was. “I needed a prop. Are you happy? I knocked over my purse in the car and my handcuffs must have fallen out and my assistant is clear out in Bel Air picking up my birth control and she won’t be back in time for the Meet and Greet, even if I manage to go last and I was desperate so I came in here to look for something I could use and this was the first thing I found.” Her words tumbled out in a rush.
He chuckled in a way that both irritated and excited her. “Handcuffs? Birth control?”
Her face warmed from equal parts frustration and humiliation. “Can I just…can I use it?”
“Can you use what?”
“The drill, Seth.”
“Of course. I told you all you had to do was ask.” His eyes sparkled with amusement. “But here—” He exchanged the theater’s drill for his own still on the counter. “Take mine instead. No one will know who it really belonged to or that you came unprepared. Now, wasn’t it a good thing that I was around?”
He held out the drill to her and she took it, brushing his fingertips as she did. The touch shot a surge of electricity through her body. Still, she said, “This doesn’t make us friends.”
His hand sprang out and grabbed her arm just below her elbow. “Do you really think I want to be friends?”
Confused by the roughness of the action and the delight of his fingers on her bare skin, she didn’t know if she should pull away or lean in farther. “I…I don’t know what you want,” she managed to stammer, realizing she didn’t know what she wanted either.
His grasp softened slightly and he drew her closer. For the second time that night, she thought—no, wished—he would kiss her. Instead, when his head bent toward her, it stopped near her ear. “Isn’t it too bad that you won’t let yourself find out?”
His husky whisper sent a serious shiver through her body. For one minute she believed she could let herself find out. That she could forget her past and everything that Seth represented to her. That she could fall into his arms and let his mouth and body erase every bad memory and association she had with people who performed manual labor for a living.
But she’d spent too many years believing just the opposite. The walls she’d have to break down to let someone like Seth in were pretty sturdy.
When she spoke, her voice didn’t sound like her own. The tone was meek and unsure and breathy. “I have to go.”
“Yes, you do.”
He released her and she turned and walked away on unsteady legs. And just like when she’d left her trailer house at sixteen, she didn’t look back.
He was like her past. She didn’t need him. She didn’t want him.
This time, though, the effort to not look was excruciating.