Conleigh
When we get to the restaurant our table isn’t ready so we are seated at the bar where Judy and some older guy in a suit that looks like it costs more than I will ever make in ten years joins us. I sip on a cocktail while they talk business. I can’t help but notice the way Judy’s eyes seem to linger on Ezra a moment too long or how she finds a way to touch him on the arm briefly every few minutes.
Maybe I am paranoid or simply feeling guilty for having sexual thoughts about Holden.
“If you’ll excuse me, I need to go to the ladies’ room,” I tell Ezra and he doesn’t even look at me. He waves his hand over his shoulder with his back to me and continues talking. Bastard.
I go to the bathroom and go straight for the largest stall in the corner. What I really want to do is go home, but I find myself typing notes on my phone for the follow-up book to my love triangle book. I am still holding onto hope that someone will love it. As I type away lost in my fictional world I hear a woman talking on the phone.
“It’s pretty pathetic that she’s so blind. I mean, he hasn’t said three words to her since I arrived. He’s only with her because her stepdad is some big shot surgeon and promised to take out a huge ad with him. He doesn’t want to lose the account. I’ve been fucking him for months. She’s a doormat.”
She continues rambling on but I can’t listen to anymore. I peer through the crack between the door and the wall but I can’t see her. However, I recognize her nasally voice. Judy, Ezra’s fucking assistant. She did this shit on purpose. Well, fuck her. Though I suppose Ezra has already. With my head held high, I plaster a smile on my face and go for the sink, ignoring her as she applies her lipstick feigning a shocked expression.
I make for the soap and accidentally elbow her, causing her to smear her lipstick down her chin. “Oops,” I call out, not bothering to hide my pleased smile.
“It’s fine.” She grabs a tissue and dabs at the red line.
I don’t say anything. I don’t know what to do. I should be upset. I should want to bash her head into the sink, but I don’t. I feel eerily calm. I simply smile at her and dry my hands. She keeps glancing at me, waiting for me to make a move or say something, but that is what she expects me to do. Get upset and do or say something to justify her means. Not happening.
I rejoin Ezra at the bar and go for my drink with a shaky hand.
“Are you okay?” He questions and it’s now that I notice he is alone.
“Never better.” I down the rest of my drink and beam at my no-good piece of shit cheater of a boyfriend.
“Judy and Mr. Malvoy said it was lovely to see you. Our table is ready.” He places his hand at the base of my back, and I cringe while wondering if his hands have been on Judy today.
He guides me to the hostess podium to be shown to a table. One where his parents and mine are seated.
“What’s going on? I hiss.
“It’s a surprise. Don’t ruin it.”
The alcohol I consumed moments ago lurches in my belly and I feel ill.
“Conleigh, are you quite alright, you look positively sick,” my mother pesters with fake concern.
“Must be something I ate earlier.”
Ezra’s mother, Monica looks at my mother with a knowing glance. She must’ve told her about the three months in middle school I suffered from bulimia. I’m sure she failed to mention it was from all the stress she was putting on me to look good in my cheerleading uniform.
“Well, have a seat,” Ronald insists as Ezra pulls out my chair.
“Thanks,” I tell my scummy boyfriend with a clipped tone, trying to fight the urge to leave right now.
“How’s that campaign coming?” Ronald asks Ezra once he has taken his seat next to his father, Corbin.
“What campaign?” I hedge.
“Didn’t Ezra tell you? He’s handling all my advertising now. As my future son-in-law, I feel it best to keep business in the family.”
I cock my head towards Ezra. “Why didn’t you say anything, sweetie?”
“It was meant to be a surprise but I had a brilliant idea that will save Ronald thousands and give me a reason to do this.” He pushes his chair back and our parents fall silent. “Conleigh Nicole Meyers,” he says, going down on bended knee and taking my hand in his. Suddenly a violinist appears at our table and the whole dining room goes quiet. “I never knew I could love someone as much as I do you. From the moment I met you, I knew you were special. I said to myself, I’m going to marry her and she is going to give me beautiful children. I wanted to wait until you finished school, but why wait when I know what I want. I want you to be my wife, Conleigh. Will you marry me?” I watch in horror as he pulls a ring box from his pocket. He opens it and looks at me expectantly.
I always imagined when Ezra popped the big question that our families would be present just as they are now. I thought we, Ezra and I, would both even shed a few happy tears. However, nothing about tonight feels joyous. Nothing about tonight feels right. It feels forced. His words sound well-rehearsed and fake. I can’t believe he is pulling this right now.
“She’s speechless,” my mother interjects.
“The ring belonged to Corbin’s mother. It’s a rare diamond,” Monica offers as though it will weigh on my decision.
Ezra is holding the ginormous rock, ready to slip it on my ring finger. Everyone is staring at me and the room is spinning in slow motion. I feel like I am on a tilter world amusement park ride. An image of Judy looking like a clown with her red lipstick smeared across her lips flashes behind my eyes.
My phone buzzes from my clutch and I don’t know why but I grab it with everyone watching me like a sideshow.
“Conleigh. What are you doing?” My mother grabs a hold of my arm as I see Holden’s name on the screen.
Holden: Be at the bar around 11 am tomorrow to begin your training.
Dear God, is this a sign to say the hell with Ezra?
A red number one is glowing on my inbox for my email. I click it as Ezra growls. “Conleigh, I am asking you to marry me. Put down the damn phone. You’re making me look like a goddamned fool.”
My eyes widen in shock. It’s from a publisher. They want my book.
I look at Ezra and he squeezes my hand growing impatient.
“Marry you. Aren’t you asking the wrong idiot!” I snap.
“What’s wrong with her?” I hear Ronald asking. “First the car and her phone. Is she on drugs?”
“What I am is an idiot who was informed moments ago that her boyfriend was fucking his assistant behind my back, while unable to breakup with me because he was afraid it would cost him a huge account with my stepfather.”
Monica’s hand goes to her mouth. Ezra gets up from the floor and my mother shoos the violinist away.
“What are you talking about, cheating on you. Why would I ask you to marry me? Who told you this?” He demands.
“I overheard Judy on the phone while I was using the restroom. Why would she say it if it weren’t true?”
“I don’t know, but I’m going to find out. I swear to you Conleigh, I don’t know why she would say such things. I’ve never gave her any reason to believe any of that to be true. I asked you to marry me because I love you and want to spend our lives together.”
“You said that Ronald’s campaign led you to asking me, so why is that?”
“I thought we could use our engagement photos for the advertisement. You have such a beautiful smile, I thought the whole world should see it and see our love.”
“By advertising my stepdad’s practice?” I laugh.
“Why don’t you take her on home,” Monica suggests.
“That’s a great idea. I will get a cab,” I announce, pushing my chair back. “As always, it was nice to see everyone,” I exclaim with mock enthusiasm.
“Conleigh, wait.”
I stop and give him one chance. “Don’t lie to me.”
“It was one time,” he admits.
“See, that wasn’t so hard, was it? Thank you.” I spin around and make my exit. Outside of the restaurant, I go to make a call for a cab and realize that even my phone isn’t my own. I’ll fix that tomorrow.
I should go to the dorm and stay with Bailey, but I stupidly moved the rest of my shit in with Ezra like an idiot.
“Conleigh, please just give me a chance to explain. At least let me drive you home.”
“I gave you two years of my life, Ezra, two years! All you had to do was be honest with me. Why did you ask me to move in with you? Why did you just propose?”
“Because I don’t want to lose you. You’re everything to me. I swear on everything, I only want to make you happy, Con. That’s all I want.”
I nod, unable to find my voice. The valet brings the car around and I allow Ezra to drive me home in silence. I don’t know what to say. I keep replaying our conversation over in my head. I wish I could say I believe him, but out of everything he’s said, there are two things he didn’t say.
He didn’t apologize and he damn sure didn’t promise it wouldn’t happen again. He says it was one time as though that somehow makes it okay.
When we get to the apartment, Ezra shuts the car off and locks the doors, keeping me from exiting the vehicle. He attempts to take my hand in his and I pull away. Right now, I can’t bear for him to touch me.
“I need space, Ezra.”
“I understand. Just promise me that you will think about our future, Con. I love you, always.”
“I will,” I tell him, unsure of what tomorrow will hold.
Holden
“Hey, Holden,” Cheryl purrs, running a hand down my arm.
Shrugging her off, I look to the door as it bounces back from the force of Ezra barreling his way in. “Not now,” I tell her. “Not ever again.”
“Fuck you, Holden.”
“You’d like to.” I smirk and head to the end of the bar to see what’s up with Big E.
One look at his long face, I know something is wrong.
He lays a hundred-dollar bill on the counter and says, “Tequila, keep it coming.”
My stomach churns, but I do as he asks. He doesn’t do well with the stuff, but he’s a grown ass man and I’m not his keeper. After he knocks back three shots, I ask him, “What’s going on, man? You lose a big account or something?”
He shakes his head. “You warned me.”
“About what?”
“Conleigh. I proposed and she found out about Judy. I fucked up, but she’ll forgive me. She has to.”
Fuck. I set this in motion. I’m a lousy prick. A selfish bastard because my first instinct is to go after her, my best friend’s girl and comfort her. I want to take her in my arms, tell her she is better off without him, and fuck her senseless. I don’t do those things though. I come around the bar and take up the stool next to Ezra.
“A girl like Conleigh, man…she’s one in a million.”
“What would you know about her? You wouldn’t be able to nail a girl like Conleigh if she was the only woman on earth.”
My blood boils. She should have been mine from the start. “That a challenge?” I take a shot of my own.
“You really think my girl would have you?” He scoffs and tosses two more shots back.
“You being serious right now?” He doesn’t want to challenge me on this. Not right now. Not when I know she’s hurting because he’s a dumbass who can’t keep his dick in his pants.
“Sure, why not. You think you can have her, go for it. I fucked up bad. She will get past this.”
“You’ve had too much to drink. I’m cutting you off.”
“No, I’m serious. She needs to get me back. We need to be even. She needs one night to get this shit out of her system.” He spins a shot glass around the bar top and looks at me with glossy eyes. “You should do it. Go home right now and see if she will fuck you. Then when she feels like she’s gotten revenge out of her system, she’ll be ready to marry me.”
“Do you even hear yourself right now and how fucked up that logic sounds.”
“Look man, she’s a good girl. I can make this shit right for her and after we’re married, we’ll get a house in the burbs, and I can have Judy in an apartment in this city.”
I wasn’t even considering what he said but this shit royally pisses me off. How can he sit here and say this shit about the woman he claims to love? He doesn’t plan on stopping this shit with Judy. He doesn’t deserve a girl like Conleigh. He wants me to fuck her, but not happening. I’m going to steal her away from him. He might be my friend, and I know it makes me dirty as fuck, but Conleigh deserves to be with a man who respects her. A man who will treat the way she deserves, like a queen. My queen.
“So, you’re saying you want me to walk out of my bar right now and go to the apartment and seduce your girl so she will forgive you for fucking around.”
He points the empty shot glass at me and says, “Bingo.”
“Okay…I’ll do it.” I pour him another shot and then say fuck it, handing him the bottle. “Help yourself, man.”
“You’re a good friend, Holden.”
“Yeah, that’s me.” I shake my head. “Waylon. Make sure he gets a cab and close up tonight.”
“You got it, boss.”
Climbing into my truck, I don’t know what I am doing. He just gave me his blessing to fuck his girl. What’s wrong with him? He can’t love her. If I had a girl like Conleigh I’d want to cut out the eyes of every man who even dared to look at her.
————
When I got home, Conleigh was curled up on the couch with a bottle of wine. Those fucking socks she drives me wild with were sliding down her legs. It would have been easy to take advantage. It would have been easy to seduce her in her heartbroken state, but I didn’t do that.
Taking up her feet in my hands, I place them on my thighs as I sit down. She looks at me with teary eyes as I rub her feet and tug her socks back up to her knees.
“Rough day?”
She snorts and wipes her face with the sleeve she has balled up in her fist. Her dark hair is in that tiny knot on her head that I would love to rip down and comb my fingers through as I kiss her like there is no tomorrow.
“I got an offer.”
“What?” Did he call and tell her what he told me to do at the bar?
“My book. I got an offer.” She smiles.
I clear my throat. That isn’t what I was expecting, but it’s good. More than good. “That’s great, Con. Told you your words were good.”
She rolls her eyes at me. “You read one passage.”
“You gonna let me read the whole thing?”
“I don’t know.”
“Are you gonna take the offer. What did they say?” I genuinely want to know. My fingers continue brushing up and down her sock, wishing I could peel them off her and kiss my way up her body, tasting every inch of her.
“I turned down the offer. It’s not a good deal. I talked it over with a friend I made online, she’s a writer. She’s big time. Her first book sold one million copies and she’s so amazing at giving me advice,” she spiels.
“I’m proud of you.”
“You know you are the first person who has ever told me that about my writing.”
“Well, I mean it. We should celebrate.”
She scoots further down on the couch and stretches her legs out, pointing her toes toward the wall. My hand automatically moves above her knee. Her skin is so damn silky, smooth…tempting. “What do you have in mind?” She asks, raising a brow at me and reaching me her wine.
“I don’t drink this shit.” I grin and move my hand before I move it to the hem of her tiny shorts she’s wearing. I take the bottle and sit it on the coffee table.
“Yeah, I’m kind of tired anyway.” She pulls her feet back and sits up, stretching her arms over her head. The shirt she’s wearing rides up over her stomach, showing off another butterfly tattoo on her hip bone.
“Why do you love butterflies so much?” I trace my finger over her blue winged ink and she shivers.
She beams at me. “My dad. My real dad. Not that dick, Ronald that my mom is with now. When I was a kid, he’d get me on the weekends and he would take me to the butterfly garden. He always called me his little caterpillar. Anyway, it was the only time where it was just me and my dad and it seemed so magical. Like we were in another land. A place where no one could take me away from him. I wanted to live with him, but he fucked up and he’s in prison.”
“Damn, that sucks. I’m sorry.”
She shrugs with a sad smile. “It is what it is. I made my peace with him a long time ago. I actually visited him the other day. I got to spend the day with him. It was the first time I had seen him in thirteen years,” she confides, and I want to wrap my arms around her.
“That must have been intense.”
“It was nice. My mom wasn’t too happy with me and well, that is one of the reasons I was fired. I called in to spend the day with him and well. I could use that job, if the offer still stands.”
“I’d do anything for you, Conleigh. Does Ezra know about this book deal?”
She shakes her head, tugging her bottom lip between her teeth. “Ezra is complicated. I shouldn’t even be here tonight. Not really. Not after everything that has happened.”
I need to hear the words come from her mouth. I want her to say she’s done with him. “What happened?”
“Can I talk to you about it and you be…I don’t know…unbiased.”
“Tell me,” I demand.
She tucks those sexy legs up under her butt, turning to face me. “You were right. About Judy. He swears it was the one time. One time too many for me. He had both our parents there and had the nerve to ask me to marry him. He wanted to use our engagement photos for an advertisement for my stepdad’s practice.” She scoffs, and I have to agree that was a dick move.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.”
“You’re his friend. I don’t hold you at fault for his choices. Tell me this though. Was it more than once?”
I look away from her. I shouldn’t be talking about this shit with her. I should get up and walk away. I should go to bed. I should do anything but tell her what I say next. “He’s still fucking her and he doesn’t plan on stopping.”
“Thank you for being honest with me. This is the shit I would have expected out of you. You know that’s why I…never mind.”
“Why you what? What were you going to say?”
“It doesn’t matter, Holden. I guess I got what I deserve for playing it safe, taking the easy road.”
I grab her wrist and take her hand in mine, rubbing my thumb across her knuckle. “It matters to me. What easy road?”
“That night, at the bar. The night we all first met. I wanted you to kiss me. On the dance floor.” She looks away, her cheeks tinted a pale pink.
Inside, I am pumping my fist in the air. She wanted me too. “You thought I would hurt you?”
“I knew a guy like you would be the death of me. I knew Ezra was sweet, the boy next door. You were a storm. A storm to be reckoned with. I’ve seen the path you’ve left behind since I met you, Holden. I just never guessed Ezra was like that. I mean, I am not dogging you, because at least you own what you do. You’re honest and I respect that.”
“You want some honesty?”
Conleigh stares at me quizzically.
“Ezra told me to come here tonight and fuck you because he thought I couldn’t. He thinks that if you fuck me, you will forgive him.”
“What?! Are you serious right now?”
“Sadly, no.”
“That’s what he wants? He wants me to fuck you so he doesn’t feel guilty, is that it?”
“Pretty much.”
“Is that what this is tonight, you trying to get me in your bed?”
“No, I won’t fuck you unless you ask me to and not to get back at Ezra. If and when we fuck, Conleigh. It will be because you want to, not because you want revenge.”
“What makes you think I won’t ask you? Maybe that’s exactly what I need tonight.”
I scoot closer to her and tilt her chin up, forcing her to look in my eyes. “If that’s what you want from me. A cheap, meaningless night. I’ll fuck you and you can go back to the fantasy life with Ezra. It will be like we never touched, but if I fuck you, Conleigh, you’ll feel my touch every damn day the rest of your life and wish you had given me a real shot.”
“What are you saying, Holden? You want to be with me?”
I shake my head and run my fingers through my hair. “I don’t know. Maybe.”
“It would never work between you and me.” She pulls away and stands up.
She holds her hand out. “Let’s go.”
“Go where?” I eye her, certain she isn’t going to ask me.
“Take me to bed, Holden. Be my cheap thrill. Be my revenge, but one condition.”
I swallow. “What’s that?”
“I don’t want Ezra to know. This isn’t about him. It’s about you and me and putting right what should have been two years ago.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Fate. You were meant to break my heart, Holden. I wasn’t all that upset when Ezra confessed about Judy. I was more upset that I never found out what it would be like to kiss you.”
I don’t think twice. I take her hand and pull her onto my lap. I wrap my fingers up in that messy knot on her head and yank her hair free. I comb my fingers through her thick waves as they tumble down her back and I crush my lips to hers.
I wasn’t prepared for this, but fuck me I am going to enjoy it. I’ll show her how damn good it could be with me and she will never go back to him. I won’t fuck her like I said unless she asks me to, but I will damn sure enjoy getting her off.