CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
The noise in the room coming from the loud group of guys begins to sift like fine flour through my deaf ears. The numbness in my arms and legs from when I heard Steele had been in an accident fades, and I’m tingling all over. My chest feels lighter, and my breathing is manageable. I escaped a full-blown panic attack in Harley’s car on the way over to the hospital. I barely know the girl, but we had a good day, and she seems like a nice person. I don’t want her to think I’m a nutjob or, worse, make her think she’d have to check me into the psych ward when we got here. Thankfully, I was able to control myself. I guess seeing a counselor for that year helped after all.
Once I saw for myself that Steele was all right, my fear and worry advanced to anger along with some major disappointment. I let myself fall for him. That’s why I got so upset, why I couldn’t think until I made it to him, and now that I know he’s in one piece, all body parts intact and moving, it’s time to go home.
“Dammit, Steele!” A tiny, middle-aged woman comes storming into the room, wielding a tiny yet mighty fist in the air.
“I’m fine, Ma. Honest, it’s just a cracked rib, that’s all.” Steele’s hands go out in the air.
After inspecting her son in the bed, her acute eyes flit around the room like a mama bear accounting for all her cubs. She pauses with a, “Hi, Harley.” Then turns her generous smile onto me. “And you must be Jaylyn?”
“Ah …” I glance at Steele, but he’s no help with a shrug. “Yes. Hello.” I smile back at the sweet, staunch woman. “You must be Mrs. Kane?”
“Oh, please, Olivia.” She waves a now dainty hand at me.
“Olivia.” I smile bigger, clenching my teeth together.
Her eyes continue their hunt. “Now, what happened to you?” She walks over to Crash and grabs his chin. “Oh, honey.” Her hard tone ebbs.
“I’m okay, Ma,” he says, and for the first time, I witness his smile. It’s a nice smile, one that could stop a few hearts, and I wonder why he doesn’t use it more often. His eyes lower to the ground. “It’s just a scratch.”
“That’s not a scratch. They had to stitch your skin back together, Cash Kane.”
“I know.” He glances at Stone and Token, imploring them for help.
“Where’s the water, Ma?” Token winks at Crash.
“I didn’t need it.” She pats Crash’s cheek. “Your brother’s already at the hospital. Listen up.” She spins around and claps her hands together like it’s time for the toddler story time round-up song. “When I stopped by the nurse’s station, I was told that way too many people are in here.” She walks over to the bed, leans down, and brushes her hand over Steele’s forehead before dropping a tender kiss upon it. “You can only have two visitors at a time, my dear.” She pats his cheek and then stands up, straightening her blouse. “And now that I know you’re okay, I’m going to go call your father and get a cup of coffee.” She points. “Boys, it’s time to go.”
The little bundle of awesomeness starts for the door. After a few deep grunts, the group of grown men obey their fierce mama bear and follow her. I fall into step with them, skidding in line between Harley and Stone, ready to get out of here.
“No, not you,” Steele calls out. The only two people left in the room, Stone and I, stop.
Shit!
With my back to Steele, I look at Stone. “I think he’s talking to you,” I whisper as if Steele can’t hear me.
Stone’s eyes move from the bed to me. “Clearly, the Man of Steele wants you.” He shakes his head. “He just doesn’t get it.”
“What?” My interest piqued, I lean in closer. God, the man’s eyes are a replica of Steele’s, cryptic, dark, and mesmerizing.
He bends down and whispers into my ear. “You’re his Kryptonite.” He smiles and turns back to Steele. “Okay. I’ll git.” He shoves a hand into his pocket, pulls out his keys, and twirls them around his finger. “Need me to bring back anything for ya?”
“A change of clothes?”
“Yeah, all right, I think I got a Brittney Spears T-shirt that one of my groupies left behind. It might be a little tight, though.”
“Seriously, asshole, if you⸻”
“I’m just fuckin’ with ya. I’ll pop by your place and pick up something.”
“Thanks.”
“No problem. See you at six,” he says and passes by me, whispering under his breath, “You’re up.”
I don’t want to be up. I wanted to check on him and leave, and that’s it.
“Jay.” Steele’s voice swoops through my motionless body. “Turn around.” He pauses. “Please, Jay.” His words curve soft and tender kind of like they did the other night when he was inside me, stealing my world away. “Come here.”
I press my lips together and clench my hands. I can’t look at him. If I do, it’ll be all over. I must get out before my damn heart, damaged and all, kicks me across the room, closer to him and not further away. I need to put some serious distance between us, like a couple of thousand miles or more. “I really have to go.” My eyes start to burn. My chest heavy and full. Palms wet and cold. “I need to pack so I can catch my flight back to Chicago tonight.”
“You’re leaving? Tonight? Why?”
The desperation in his words tighten my balled fists, and my nails break the skin. “The job is done. It’s time for me to go.”
“Come over here.” His stern voice echoes in the room. “Jaylyn Rigsby, do you want me to get out of this bed?”
“That depends.” I peer over my shoulder to find his dark eyes bearing down on me and smile. “What’s wrong with you?”
“Really?” he growls. “It’s just a cracked rib. Like I said, nothing serious. What the fuck?” He sits up in the bed, face crumpling. “I don’t understand why you’re so upset. Please, Jay, just come over here so we can talk.”
Weakened by the desperation in his eyes and the gentleness of his tone, my pathetic heart gives in. Too easily, my body moves over to him, completely aware of the hollowness inside me and that deep hole of loneliness only he can fill. Because I have fallen for him, for a man whose job is to throw himself into the bowels of danger. Who willingly stares the devil in the face. Whose life is fed by dares. I’ve fallen for another man who will undoubtedly leave me way too early by death’s pandemic hand.
He grabs my arm and pulls me to the edge of the bed, closer to him. His eyes bore into me. It’s silent for a few seconds; long enough for me to doubt myself a hundred times over.
“Jay.” He looks down at our now joined hands. His warm, gentle fingers lightly brush over mine. “I’m okay.”
“Yes. Today, you’re okay.” I try to pull my hand away, but his grip tightens.
“Stay,” he says, the strength of his plea depicted in his firm hold.
“Why? What are we going to do? You live here. I live in Chicago. What, Steele?” I give my hand another yank, and he releases me. “Why would I stay?” I take a deep breath, my warm hand balling at my side.
“I don’t fucking know. Maybe we can see where this goes. I’m not asking for us to move in together, get married, or have kids but⸻”
“Married? Kids? No!” I shake my hands at the thought he shoved into my head. I step back, trying to abolish all the life destroying feelings from a few years ago as they attempt to resurface. “I can’t do it. My heart is barely fixed. You can’t have it. I can’t risk another break.”
“I won’t hurt you, Jaylyn,” he says, the look on his face determined and sincere.
“You already have.” My voice cracks, and I swipe a hot tear from my burning eyes.
“You can’t do this forever. You need to move on. You need to let someone love you again.”
“I will.” I brush another tear from my cheek. “It just can’t be you.”
“Why?” His eyes glisten with confusion and hurt.
He’s killing me. I turn away from him. “I have to leave.” I start for the door.
“Wait.” I hear him shuffling in the bed.
“Steele!” Mrs. Kane comes running into the room, juggling two cups of coffee. “Get your ass back in bed, mister!”
“Jaylyn.” He stresses my name once more, and I stop. His mother sets the coffees on the table by the bed and guides Steele back toward the bed.
“I really must go.” I nod at Mrs. Kane. “It was nice to meet you, Olivia.”
“Likewise, dear.” She tosses me a smile, pushing Steele down onto the mattress.
“Jaylyn Rigsby”—he points at me around his mother’s small figure—“in this damn hospital gown will not be the last time you ever see me.”
“Bye, Steele.” I wave at him with a tight grin.
I clear the door and hear him call out, “This isn’t over!”