Between our compromised crop, GSC taking up residence in my lower colon, and Hope’s melancholy, I’m close to my breaking point.
As if all that shit isn’t giving me enough of an ulcer, I get a call from the president of the Wolf Knights MC. Their territory borders ours, and we enjoy a friendly, respectful relationship. We’ve definitely teamed up to handle our other rival—the Vipers—a lot in the last few years.
Other than that, we don’t generally do social calls. Except Wrath, who has a working relationship with the sergeant-at-arms of their club, through his gym. Maybe once or twice a year, I’ll close down Crystal Ball and host a party where the two clubs mix, just to keep things friendly.
Ulfric isn’t looking for a party invitation tonight.
The daughter of one of his members disappeared. Right off the street in downtown Slater—his territory.
“She’s twenty, and you fuckin’ know how they are. Nose always buried in their cell phones, not payin’ fuckin’ attention.” Ulfric’s worked up, and I can’t blame him.
“You sure it’s Viper? That’s pretty fuckin’ bold pullin’ that shit right in your territory.”
“No, I don’t fuckin’ know for sure,” he snaps. “Someone saw her get pulled into one of those pedo vans with the blacked-out windows. Who the fuck else would it be?”
A lotta people, but I keep that thought to myself for now. “Gimmie her description. I know a guy with an in. I’ll see what I can find out.”
“That gonna cost you?”
It’ll fuckin’ cost me all right, ‘cause my “in” is fuckin’ Loco, who’s already such a pain in my goddamn ass the thought of askin’ the gangsterfuck for a favor is making me see red. “Yeah. Give me a day at least.”
“Fuck, Rock. I appreciate it. Cops won’t do a motherfuckin’ thing. Told us she probably ran off with a boyfriend and we should handle it ‘in house.’”
That’s a bad sign that Ulfric doesn’t have any friends in the Slater PD willing to appease him in this matter. Especially since they’re known to be one of the shadiest police departments in the area, and I know Ulfric drops a lot of cash to them on a regular basis. “That’s a problem, my friend.”
“Yeah, no shit. Let me know what you find out.”
As soon as I’m off the phone with him, I put in my call to Loco. He’s naturally a dick, as I suspected.
“Rock, this is a pretty big favor. You ready to do that thing we talked about?”
“I’m working on it,” I grit out through clenched teeth. While I mentioned the introduction Loco wants me to make, we didn’t take an official vote on it yet. Thank fuck all I need is a majority, ‘cause I know for sure Wrath’s vote will be a big, fat, fucking no.
“Okay. Stay close to your phone. I’ll see what I can find out,” he promises.
It’s so late, there’s not much chance I’ll hear from him tonight. I’m very relieved to end my day and go upstairs to see my girl. Things have been tense between us ever since she announced her job interview. She seems to think I’m more upset about it than I actually am. Other than the brief discussion Z, Wrath, and I had, I haven’t had time to give it a lot of thought. Ultimately, if it will make her happy, I want her to do it.
Unfortunately, my bullshit day isn’t over.
Motherfuckin’ Loco gets back to me quicker than I expected and wants to meet. Tonight. Now.
Another fuckin’ night away from my girl when we’re already on shaky ground.
“I think you’ll be pleased. This time I got a delivery for you.”
Oh yeah, I’m fuckin’ thrilled.
I round up my guys and give Ulfric a heads up.
There’s no fuckin’ way he’s coming with us to meet Loco, but I do want him close by if this is what I think it is. “Don’t know it’s your girl. Hang at CB for a bit. I’ll come to you when I’m done.”
“Yeah. Sorry to be draggin’ you into my bullshit, Rock. Having you and your crew out in the goddamn middle of the night like this ain’t right. I owe you.”
And I know he’ll repay his debt. Ulfric’s an honorable guy, and he’s helped us out in the past when we’ve needed it.
Teller needs to be reminded of this when he starts bitching about the drive down to Empire.
“Two hours tops. Small price to pay for a club that’s had our back more than once. Quit fuckin’ whining,” Z grumbles.
Murphy has no opinions, which is surprising. Usually he’s full of them.
Wrath insists on joining us since we’re taking the van.
I gotta run up to my room and grab some stuff before we can leave.
So wrapped up in whatever she’s looking at, Hope doesn’t hear me enter the room. Ulfric’s words rattle in my memory. My girl’s never aware of her surroundings either.
Except she should feel safe and secure enough to lose herself in a book or whatever the fuck she’s doing when she’s in my clubhouse.
I’m just on fuckin’ edge because of this shit goin’ on tonight. Edgy and irritable. “What you looking at, babe?”
She startles and glances up, slamming the book shut and tucking it under the blanket at the foot of her lounge chair. Odd.
“Nothing. Is everything okay?”
No. Everything is not okay. But I can’t talk about this with Hope because I don’t even know what this is yet. Besides, I can’t shake the sense she’s hiding something from me lately, and I’m determined to figure out what it is.
“I’m fine. What was that?”
“Nothing.” She gets up and walks toward me, but the worry lines etched in her face have me on alert.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
She’s infuriating. “Stop saying nothing, Hope.”
She glares at me and crosses her arms over her chest. But her posture is to cover up something else. The anguish in her eyes is clear. Panic blazes through me because somehow I’m failing her, and I don’t know how to fix it.
It’s obvious she’s been crying, but she’s trying to hide it from me for some reason.
“Hope, I’m tired of you not talking to me. Something’s bothering you, and you need to tell me.”
Her lips part, but she stops herself and rolls her eyes. “This again? I’m fine. Stop making shit up. Are you still mad about the interview? Fine, I won’t go. Does that make you happy?”
“It’s not about the interview. Fuckin’ go or don’t. I don’t give a shit.”
Her lower lip trembles.
I should have said it a little nicer, but it really isn’t about the interview or even the past few days. Whatever this is has been brewing since her run-in with that fuckin’ sister-in-law of hers and the following conversation with her sorry excuse for a mother that I pushed her into. Somehow I just know I didn’t get the full story about either event.
“Why do you keep trying to pick a fight with me, Rock?”
“That what you think?”
“I know it. You’re mad at me all the time lately.”
“I’m not.”
She shakes her head, hugging her arms tighter to her chest.
“You call Wing Fling or whatever the place is back yet?” I don’t even know why I’m asking. At the moment, I couldn’t give two fucks about it. But I know by the way she flinches what her answer will be.
“Not yet.”
“Why are you stalling?”
That fuckin’ flinch again. Fuck, now she is pissing me off.
“Rock! We gotta go!” Murphy shouts from the hallway.
Her gaze skips to the door, then back to me. “You’re going out?”
“I gotta handle something.”
She nods. I swear to fuck Hope is the only woman I’ve ever known who can nod sarcastically.
My club bullshit has to be wearing her down. I knew it would eventually. I can’t be some nine-to-five drone for her. I’ve never lied to her about that, and I think she’s finally starting to get it. She seemed okay when I opened up to her about our business, but maybe it forced her to rethink our situation. Maybe she’s rethinking us.
“Look. Maybe we need to slow down. Take a break from everything. You don’t seem like you’re into gettin’ married.” The words tumble out of my mouth like garbage. What the fuck is wrong with me? Why did I even say that? I don’t mean a word of it.
Yet I don’t take back the words.
She gasps and tears fill her eyes. I didn’t mean to make her cry, again, but I don’t know what else to do to get through to her. I can’t fix this if she won’t tell me what’s wrong.
“You don’t…” She trails off and stands there staring at her hand.
At her ring.
Fuck.
My girl’s got a fuck ton of pride. I should know better by now. What I’m doing is not the way to handle her. From experience, I know she copes with stress by running.
She stiffens her spine and jerks her chin up. “Okay. If that’s what you want.”
No, that’s not what I fucking want at all. But we’re locked into some sort of game of relationship chicken, both of us too proud to call it off.
Both of us about to lose.
In a trance, I watch as she slips off her ring and sets it on my dresser. “I’ll, uh, go home and—”
There’s one big fuckin’ problem. If we lived together, she wouldn’t be able to run away every time shit gets uncomfortable for her.
“Yeah, whatever. I’m done. I gotta go.”
I have to get out of here. I’m a fuckin’ coward for daring her to leave like that. With my head all fucked up, I have to go take care of business. I despise this feeling of being torn in two. I should stay and tell her I’m sorry, I don’t mean it, and shake the truth out of her.
But I don’t.
Leaving the clubhouse is easy. Stunned, I wait in Rock’s room until I hear the last of the guys leave.
Before I go, I pluck a piece of paper and a pen out of my purse and scratch out a quick note. If I leave it under his pillow, I know he’ll see it.
It’s too risky to pack up all my crap. I can’t chance Trinity trying to stop me. I can’t tell her what just happened, because I’m not even sure what to say. I grab a few things I need and leave.
Head held high.
No tears.
This is for the best. That’s all that goes through my head on the way home. Rock’s under a lot of stress. If I keep adding to it, he’s going to get distracted and end up getting hurt.
This is for the best.
But it still hurts so fucking much.