Epilogue

Six Months Later

I woke up to an out of tune version of “California Dreaming” by the Mamas and Papas over the baby monitor. It was Dixon’s favorite, as was the man that was singing to him off key. I stretched and smiled in our bed. I hadn’t even heard Dixon fuss. I looked at the time, it was a little past 4:00 a.m. It had been a while since Dixon had woken up so early. He finally got his days and nights figured out a few months ago. Thank goodness. The whole lactating zombie prediction was real for several weeks. Declan was such a trooper. We didn’t get to have the typical newlywed experience, but I wouldn’t have traded these last six months for anything, even if I had never been more exhausted. Or changed my shirt more than I cared to remember.

I looked around at our bedroom, it spoke of Declan’s love. The shiplap walls were already filled with photos of our small family. I swore Declan took several pictures of Dixon a day. I always seemed to end up in a few, and now some of those were displayed on our walls along with some professional shots.

I yawned and threw off our coral ruffled comforter. Declan was a good enough man to not care that our bed had a more feminine flair. I crept next door, tiptoeing on the ash wood flooring that had to be refinished before we could move in. I loved our red bungalow, but not as much as the scene in the dude ranch themed nursery that my best friends so skillfully decorated. My favorite thing about it was the barnyard doors with Dixon’s name on them and the cowhide rug. And of course, the retro record player that had gotten plenty of use. Jimmy was happy to hear that Dixon was a huge Simon and Garfunkel fan.

I leaned against the door and watched my life, my husband and my son. Declan held our baby against his bare chest with such tenderness, singing and lulling him gently as he paced the floor with him. Dixon looked right at home snuggled against his daddy. I never knew such love existed until that little man came into my life. He seemed to change every day. His personality was taking shape. And though he looked like Greyson with his dark hair that had a little curl in it and a nose just like his, Dixon’s happy demeanor was all Declan.

Dixon was full of smiles and giggles. And though he wasn’t saying real words yet, he talked all the time. We’d had some of the best conversations. He was also mobile now, rolling every which way and any day now he was going to be crawling. He’d been rocking back and forth on his hands and knees threatening to the past few days. I wanted to hit the pause button, but I also wanted to see who he was going to become.

Declan caught me admiring him. He looked amazing even in the middle of the night with his bed head hair. He gave me a crooked grin. “Sorry, I woke you.” He used hushed tones.

I met him in the middle of the room.

Declan took me in his arms too. There we swayed together with our love between us. I kissed Dixon’s sweet head. I breathed in his baby scent. I could never get enough of him or the man that held us.

“I didn’t even hear him wake. Is he okay?”

“His diaper was wet.” That was the one thing Dixon fussed about.

“You should have woken me up. It was my turn to get up with him.”

Declan kissed my forehead. “I don’t mind at all and I know how rough these past couple of weeks have been for you.” He spoke of Tamara.

She was fading fast. She had round the clock in-home hospice care now. My heart was aching at the thought of losing her. Though our relationship had never been the same since the divorce, I loved her and at times had felt the closeness we once had. And did she ever love Dixon. I had been spending as much time with her as I could, even though that meant being around my ex-husband, the bank president. He worked his magic as only he could to keep his job. It didn’t surprise me. He usually got what he wanted. But being around him more than anything was taking its toll. He was still having a hard time letting go, which was odd considering last year at this time he couldn’t seem to get rid of me fast enough. But it didn’t matter.

This moment mattered with my husband and son. These were my people.

“Thank you for being so understanding.”

“You don’t have to thank me . . . unless.” I could hear the smile in his voice. “We are both awake and our son is sound asleep. I could do with some alone time with my wife.”

With a newborn, sometimes it felt like the stars had to align for that to happen, but we made sure to sneak in anytime we could. “I’ll race you to our room.” I kissed our baby one more time.

Declan gently laid down our slumbering angel in his crib, and before I could even take a step toward the door, I found myself swept off my feet. I ran my hand against his bare chest and reveled in being held close.

“One of these days I need to take you on a real honeymoon.” He carried me to our room, kissing me between words.

I wasn’t ready to leave our little man yet and honestly I don’t think Declan was either.

My toes still curled and my heart pounded with each touch, just like when I was sixteen, except it had only gotten better with time. “I don’t care where I am, as long as it’s with you and Dixon.”

He pulled me closer and buried his head in my neck. “Mrs. Shaw, I love it when you talk like that.”

“I know something you love even more.”

He groaned against my ear. “You are the best wife ever.”