All I can think about is the veiled threat on that clean, white piece of paper and the fact that I won’t be able to keep my promise to Jeremy. Staying with him and Decker will only put them in danger. I’m not stupid. I know that Jeremy has the skills and the background to help. But putting him in the line of fire when it comes to Wagner Horton isn’t just selfish; it’s dangerous, because my son might lose his father before he’s even had the chance to know him.
But I don’t exactly know how to avoid Jeremy’s involvement. When Jeremy keeps me safe, he’s also keeping Decker safe. And nothing is more important to me than that. If the opportunity arises down the road for me to take action on my own, I’ll do it to save them both. But for now…I have to let Jeremy help.
I leave Jeremy at Olive’s house and head over to Macy’s with Decker. The second Jay opens the door, he and Decker run off to play a new video game. I close the door behind me, calling Macy’s name as I head into her kitchen.
“Rayne, hey! I’ve been worried about you!” Wiping her hands on a dishtowel, she walks toward me and gathers me into a tight hug. When she pulls back, her liquid brown eyes are brimming with concern. “Everything okay?”
Taking a deep breath to prepare myself to tell her all about Jeremy, instead I burst into tears. Quiet, racking sobs that I can neither control nor cork. They keep flowing and flowing.
With a gentle hand on my back, Macy leads me into her great room, pushing me down on the sofa and grabbing a box of tissues. Then she just sits with me, letting me cry and patting my back until I finally gulp in a big enough breath to curb the tears.
“Oh…my…God,” I gasp. “I am so sorry, Macy. I…never…do this.” The words are interrupted by the occasional sniffle, and I grab a handful of tissues to wipe my face. “It’s been a crazy weekend.”
She looks into my eyes. “I’m here for you, Rayne. Why don’t you tell me about it?”
And her voice is so warm, friendly, and comforting, that’s exactly what I do. I explain that I ran into Jeremy at work, and that he’s Decker’s father. That he wants to be in Decker’s life, and that what he does at work is not even remotely close to installing security systems. That I’m being pursued by someone from my life back in Phoenix that I don’t want to encounter again, and that I’m worried for both Jeremy’s and Decker’s safety.
After the story is finished, albeit modified for Macy’s own safety, we sit in silence while Macy takes it all in. Her expression is unreadable as she sits back on the couch and stares at me, her hands clasped against her chest. Her chest fills just before her gaze shifts to mine.
“So,” she asks, her lips curving into a small smile. “You still have feelings for this Jeremy guy.”
My mouth falls slack. “That’s where you’re going to focus first, after everything I just told you?”
She shrugs. “First things first. Are you still in love with him?”
I throw my hands up helplessly before burying my face in my hands and barking out a laugh. “I don’t know if I can say that, Macy. The love we had in high school…that was real. He was my favorite person in the whole world. We never wanted to be apart. He picked me up for school each morning and I sat front row at each and every one of his football games. We were…God, Macy. A love like that? I thought it’d last forever.
“Losing him the way I did broke my heart in half. It was like I left the other part behind, with Jeremy. Whether he knew it or not. But as I began to raise Decker, I realized that our high school relationship was so different from what we needed to be as parents. To make that kind of relationship work. I loved him and he loved me. Madly. Deeply. But it had nothing to do with sticking it out, having a kid together, living real life. But the pull I have for him now is a different animal. It’s like taking that teenage attraction and magnifying it tenfold. And then adding adult emotions and the fact that we have a son together…I can’t even describe how I feel. But there’s something there.”
Macy’s head bobs. “Oh, honey. There’s more than ‘something there.’ I saw it in your eyes the day I found you two standing in Olive’s driveway together. Maybe you’re not ready to admit it yet, but you love that man. And he loves you.”
Peeking through my fingers, I give her an anguished smile. “Well, if that’s true, how can I put him in the middle of my mess? Especially right as he learns he has a son? This should be a magical time for him and Decker. They should be getting to know each other, and Jeremy shouldn’t be having to protect me while he acclimates to life as a dad.”
She shakes her head, staring at me like I’ve suddenly grown an extra nose out of the side of my face. “When a man is in love…there’s nothing he’d rather be doing than protecting the woman who belongs to him. I’m guessing that with your ex-army security specialist, that feeling is magnified.”
I finger the balled-up tissues still in my hands. She was right about that. Jeremy seemed determined to make this situation better for me…to make sure I’m safe and protected. It’s why he’s insisting Decker and I move in with him. But how much of that is just him making sure his son is safe?
“I’m going to humor him. I’m packing up Decker and my stuff for now, and we’ll stay with Jeremy. At least until this issue has been resolved.” I sniffle, glancing at Macy.
Macy’s voice is low and her face is serious. “Does Decker know? Who Jeremy is?”
Shaking my head, I offer a small smile. “No, but he seems to adore Jeremy already. Not that either one of them has seen any negative aspects of their personalities yet. But they’ve bonded.”
“Living under the same roof is the best way to get it all out in the open.” Macy chuckles. “Jeremy will learn what it’s like to be a dad pretty quickly.”
A little while later, she walks me to the door and I call for Decker.
“We’ll still keep Decker after school, and you and Jeremy can come pick him up after work. And he’s welcome here any other time, too. You know that. But do you think there’s anything to worry about as far as safety is concerned when I have Decker with me?”
I shake my head. “I really don’t think so, Macy. The Night Eagle team is taking charge of this, and they’d never let anything happen. Plus, I’m the real target. You’ll be safe with the NES guys looking after everything.”
“I’m happy they’re involved. I want you to stay safe.”
I grab her into an impulsive hug. “I’m so thankful for you, Macy.”
She pats my shoulder with her slender hand. “I got your back, girl.”
Later that evening, I walk out into Jeremy’s backyard to find my son and his father throwing a football back and forth. Night’s little tail wiggles in excited anticipation.
A smile tugs on my lips. The thawing sensation building up inside of me can be blamed on the sight of them together, but the way that Jeremy is burrowing deeper into my heart has a lot to do with the way he is with our son. I watch as he praises Decker for catching a difficult pass, and then cover my laugh with my hand when Decker runs and attempts to tackle Jeremy to the ground after throwing him a perfect pass.
Jeremy plays along, laughing as he allows Decker to take him down, but I notice him protecting the little boy’s head as they both hit the ground. And my heart melts just a little bit more.
Jeremy looks up then, as if he senses my gaze on him, and when our eyes meet an invisible thread pulls taut between us. Whatever emotion is flooding out of him reaches inside me and grabs hold, squeezing me until I can barely breathe. It’s surreal, but that small moment tethers us together as surely as an actual knotted rope.
I watch them for a little longer, playing together and bonding over what is clearly a mutual love. Football. As much as I tried to avoid it, it’s here and Jeremy with it.
And I don’t mind nearly as much as I thought I would.
That night, after Decker’s in bed and Jeremy and I settle on the couch, I look over at him and take a sip of my wine.
Jeremy waits.
“We should tell him.” The statement bursts from my mouth like word vomit. “Shit,” I whisper.
Shocked at my own thought, I stare down at the burgundy liquid swirling around in my glass.
I know, in my heart, that Decker is ready to hear this news. I know that Jeremy’s ready to tell him. He’s been patient, spending time with his son and getting to know him over the past two days. We could wait weeks, but what good would it do? It’s only keeping them apart for longer than is necessary. Decker deserves the truth now, and Jeremy deserves the chance to stand in front of him as his father.
Jeremy’s hand plucks the wineglass from me, appearing in my vision so fast it startles me. Then he’s there, kneeling in front of me with both of my hands clasped in his. When I look into his eyes, they’re shining.
“Thank you.” His words are simple, but the expression he wears is anything but. It’s brimming with open emotion and untapped desire.
And, God help me, I want nothing more than to let him unleash that desire on me.
I hold his gaze, and my throat squeezes as my heart attempts to climb up into my mouth.
“Tomorrow. After we pick him up. We’ll tell him then.”
He grabs hold of me then, lifting me into his arms. I wrap my legs around his waist and melt against him, my lips pressing hungrily to his. He tugs my bottom lip into his mouth, sucking hard until a moan slides free from my throat.
“Take me upstairs.” It’s an order, my voice low and husky with everything I want to do to him so close at hand.
If you had asked me a year ago, a month ago, even a week ago about this moment, I would have told you there was no chance in hell it would ever happen. But now that I’m here with Jeremy, and the lies and deceit we’ve both been victim to are out in the open, all I want to do is pull him closer and closer. I want my son to know his father. I want to experience the passion I glimpse in his eyes, over and over again, know how it feels to be touched, loved, marked by this man. And most of all, I want to have my little family together for the first time, without threat of Wagner Horton hanging over us like a poised guillotine blade.