“Are you getting bored with me now?” Toby asks me.

We’re on video chat where we can see each other as we talk over the phone. He chuckles, and I’m reminded again of how deeply I miss him when I hear his deep rumble. I trace his face lovingly on my phone screen with my fingertips. I wish I could reach out and touch him for real.

“How could I be bored of you when I never get to see you?” I ask. “I miss you more than you can imagine. I hate being apart from you.”

It’s been weeks since the shooting. In the first few days, Toby and I were together constantly. Between the shooting, the bike ride to the Smoky Mountains, and then the car bomb, it was as if our lives were on high-speed overdrive. Every minute was spent fighting to live another day.

After the car bomb, I refused to leave Toby’s side. He wouldn’t accept medical treatment until the last injured media personnel had been evacuated from the clubhouse several hours later. Even then, it was a battle to talk him into letting Kendra tend to his wounds and remove the glass deeply embedded into his skin.

I’ll never forget how terrified I was when he took off after the terrorist into the woods. The thought of losing Toby forever was something that I couldn’t let myself even begin to imagine. When he stumbled back into the clubhouse with Sam, bleeding and exhausted, but alive, I grabbed him in a bear hug and burst into tears of relief.

That night we clung to each other desperately until both of us finally fell asleep. There were no nightmares that night. Or so he said. There would never be any way to know for certain.

The next few days were a whirlwind of activity. The clubhouse was now the scene of a terrorist crime, so federal officials took it over and set up headquarters there while Flint legally fought to get it released back to the Steel Infidels.

Eventually the feds allowed the MC to begin cleanup around the building and to rebuild their security fence. We all pitched in and worked day and night to put things back the way they were the best we could. Everyone was eager to get back to normal as quickly as possible.

My station manager was understanding about my situation and the trauma I had been through up to a point, and then he gave me an ultimatum. Either I come back to my regular work, or start using up my sick days.

I reluctantly returned to Atlanta, back to my job and apartment. With both of our busy schedules, Toby and I haven’t seen each other since. Being apart from him is tearing me up inside.

“I can’t wait to see you this weekend,” I say. “I hope you’re planning to stay the night with me after the award dinner.”

“You bet I am,” Toby says. “If you’ll let me. My bed is cold and empty without you beside me.”

“Where is Sadie sleeping these days?”

“In the bed,” Toby admits with a laugh after a moment’s hesitation. “Don’t worry, we’ll change that when you’re around. Or try to. She can be stubborn.”

“I hope so. You take up an entire bed. I can’t imagine trying to sleep with a Golden Retriever on top of me, too.”

“Are you sure this award dinner is mandatory?” he asks. “I would rather order pizza and have a night in with you instead. Fancy dinners aren’t my thing.”

“Receiving a heroism award from the Atlanta Mayor is a big deal,” I say. “You’re a hero, and the city wants to thank you for stepping up to save lives.”

He goes quiet. “It doesn’t feel right though. I don’t like being the center of attention and receiving an award for being a hero when people are still in the hospital. Couldn’t they wait until summer or forget the whole thing entirely?”

“I understand how you feel. Keep in mind it’s election year. The Mayor is doing this as much for him as you.”

“Well, at least it gives me a good opportunity to see my girl,” Toby says. “I miss you.”

“Miss you too, babe. You have no idea how much. So we’re on for Friday night then?”

“I’ll be there right on time.”