Chapter Six

 

Pierce

 

It felt so damn good just being with her again. I vowed to take it slow, not push her too hard. I just wanted her to get used to the idea of us spending time together again. The only goal I wanted to accomplish before I left town in a few weeks was to reopen the lines of communication between us. Talking on the phone, texting, maybe having her to come to a few of my concerts, or inviting her to come to Nashville when I wasn’t on the road were all things I was hoping could happen.

If the past year had taught me anything, it was that time passed whether you were happy or miserable so I just wanted the next year to be better than the last had been, and I knew it would be if she was a part of my life again.

I’d made a pit stop at the concession stand before the movie started, stocking up on all her favorite junk food so she’d know I hadn’t forgotten the little things that made her happy. The errand had taken twice as long as it should have because people kept asking me for autographs and selfies, but I didn’t mind. These were my people.

“You hate this, don’t you?” she asked between bites of caramel popcorn.

I glanced her way as I bit off a piece of red licorice. “Yeah, gets stuck in my teeth.”

She rolled her eyes. “I meant the movie, smartass.”

It was some sappy romantic comedy about a couple who were getting a second chance later in life. Since I suspected he was gonna get the girl in the end, I didn’t mind suffering through it. Besides the first movie was an action flick and she hadn’t complained.

“Doesn’t suck as bad as I thought it would,” I said, winking.

“You suck.”

“Are you asking? ‘Cause if you are, the answer is hell yeah.”

“Don’t say shit like that.” She sounded a little breathless as she reached for her soft drink.

I hadn’t made a move all night and I got the feeling the sexual tension was getting to her. I wanted to be all over her, but I was waiting for her to make the first move.

Not that I had any shame where she was concerned. I’d pursued this girl relentlessly last time. It took six weeks to get her number, another three to get a date, and another week to get my first kiss. She was a good girl afraid of being corrupted by a bad boy. But once I made her see how good being bad could feel she was all in.

“Like what, baby?”

“You know.” She pushed the blanket off her legs, letting out a frustrated little huff.

“What’s wrong, sweetness? You hot?”

“You are. And I hate it.”

I grinned while I watched her close the popcorn box and toss it in the backseat before making a grab for my licorice bag. “Help yourself.” The licorice bag was in my lap and her hand skimmed my dick. Whether that was accidental or intentional, I didn’t care. It still felt good, having her hands on me again.

She narrowed her eyes as she bit off a piece of the strawberry candy. “What’s with you tonight? I’d have thought you’d be all over me by now.”

“You want me to be?” I asked, not even trying to hide my smile. “Because that can definitely be arranged.”

“You think I’m so desperate I have to beg for it?” she asked, staring straight ahead at the screen.

“Honey, I’m the desperate one here. Been over a year for me, remember?”

“I still find that hard to believe,” she said, tipping her head to look at me. “Is that true?”

“I wouldn’t lie about something like that.” I reached for her hand, stealing her last bite of licorice. “No point hookin’ up with anyone else. Just would’ve made me miss you more.”

“I know what you mean,” she said, sounding sad as she tossed the licorice on the dashboard. “I wish I’d never…” She bit her lip. “You know, been with anyone else.”

I couldn’t change the past, and I knew it was my fault she’d had the opportunity to have other lovers. If I hadn’t been so stupid, she wouldn’t have looked twice at anyone else. “Can’t change that, baby. It is what it is.”

“Then it doesn’t bother you?” she asked, looking surprised.

“Tears my heart out,” I admitted, using the first words that came to mind to describe how I felt about it. I knew there’d probably be a song about it in my future because shit like that would eat away at you if you didn’t get it out… either through lyrics or in a shrink’s office. I wasn’t into spilling my guts to a stranger, so I locked myself in my studio instead.

“Then you know how I felt when I thought you cheated on me.”

“So you believe I didn’t?” That was huge. It meant she was willing to take me at my word.

“I believe you.” She kicked her flip-flops off and rested her feet on the dash.

Her toes were painted hot pink and it reminded me how much she used to like it when I trailed my tongue over her arch, up her calf, around her thigh, stopping only when I got to her sweet spot.

“What’re you thinkin’ about?” she asked, nudging me.

“Licking you.” I promised myself I wouldn’t sensor my thoughts with her. I’d tell her the truth, even if it was hard or embarrassing to admit.

She swore softly. “I told you that you can’t say shit like that.”

“Why not?” I shifted so I was facing her, leaning my elbow on the armrest between us.

“You know why,” she whispered, her eyes lingering on my lips. “Because I’ll want you to do it.”

“Let me, baby.” My mouth was watering at the thought of tasting her. “You know how good I can make you feel.”

She leaned in at the same time I did, but my lips hovered just above hers as I whispered, “You sure this is what you want? ‘Cause once I kiss you again it’ll be a bitch if you make me stop.”

She fisted my shirt in her hand and pulled me in, slipping her tongue inside my mouth before I knew what hit me. But it didn’t take me long to catch up. Before long I was tugging on her hair and flipping the armrest between us up so I could drag her closer.

The slow slide of our tongues mingling with the desperate sounds hanging in the air were making it tough to remember why I had to slow the fuck down. I tore my mouth away from hers, letting my lips trail down her neck while my hand slipped between her thighs. My only goal was to make her feel good. I didn’t even care if I got mine tonight. Just being able to touch her again was reward enough after so many sleepless nights alone.

“Pierce,” she whimpered, digging her nails into the back of my neck when I slipped a finger into the band of her silky panties.

“You want me to touch you, baby? You need me to make you come?”

“Yes.” Her eyes closed as she tilted her head back. “Please… God… I need you.”

I’d heard a lot of sweet sounds in my life… this girl telling me she loved me for the very first time… a presenter at a big awards show calling my name, but hearing her tell me she needed me did something to me. It made me crazy.

I rubbed my thumb over slickness while thrusting two fingers inside of her. I was dying to lick her, but the close confines of the truck made that impossible. Soon, I promised myself. Soon I’d have the full Keira experience again.

“You,” she panted. “Are so amazing.”

She was holding the door handle, grinding against my hand while I kissed her neck. Just watching her fall apart for me was such an erotic experience I was surprised I’d been able to hold it together. That’s all I’d need, to lose it like a teenager, and have to go home with the evidence coating my jeans. My kid brother would never let me live that down.

We were steaming up the windows, not that anyone could see inside. The SUV’s windows were tinted, and all of the cars in the parking lot were spread out to maximize privacy. I suspected we weren’t the only ones fooling around tonight.

She lifted her hips off the seat and curled her nails into my wrist as she squeezed her eyes shut. “Right there…. oh… ah… Pierce…. I’m gonna… come.”

I kissed her neck tenderly, making my way up to her cheek and finally her temple as she finally sank back, spent.

“Thank you,” I whispered in her ear.

She laughed, a broken sound that made me smile. “I haven’t done anything… yet.”

Yet. I was afraid if she touched me now I’d go off like a rocket, that’s how close I was.

“You let me touch you,” I murmured. “That’s a privilege I’m never going to take for granted again.”

Her eyes were soft when she looked at me, like she was as grateful for this experience as I was, even though neither one of us knew what it meant for the future yet. “Does this go both ways?” she asked, licking her lips as she looked down at the bulge in my jeans. “Am I allowed to touch you now?”

“If you want to,” I said, trying to resist the urge to beg. “But don’t feel you have to just because I—”

She cut me off with a kiss, her eyes trapping mine. “I really want to.” She reached for my belt buckle and I had to remind myself to breathe as she lowered her head. She undid my jeans and inched them down along with my boxer briefs before she took me in her mouth.

“Fuuucccckkkkk….” I wasn’t prepared for how good it would feel. It’s not like I’d forgotten. I’d fantasized about her nearly every night we’d been apart, but nothing compared to the real thing.

I closed my eyes, willing myself to think about anything other than the tight suction of her mouth when she pulled me deep.

“Ke…I…can’t… fuck…” I was a babbling idiot. I could barely get a word out, much less form a cohesive thought.

Her hand drifted up, gliding over my abs and I clenched, wrapping my hand around her head, guiding her gently. “So beautiful,” I whispered, thinking I could die a happy man if this was the last sight I ever got to see.

She moaned, setting off a vibration that rocked me as I dug my heels into the ground as my hips shot up, accidentally forcing her to take me deeper. “Sorry, babe,” I muttered, cursing myself for being an idiot. I swore tonight would be about her pleasure, yet I was thinking of myself.

“Keira, come here,” I said, pulling her head up. “Baby, let’s get a room. I want to do this right. I want to spread you out on a bed and…”

“I want this for now. Just this.”

Which meant she wasn’t ready for sex. I told myself I wasn’t disappointed and had to be more patient, but damn it, I wanted all of her. I wanted her to be mine again.

She distracted me, using her hand and mouth in unison, making me forget everything except how amazing she could make me feel. “Oh God…” My breathing was labored and I curled my hand around the gearshift, squeezing tight while I tried to hold back. “Baby, I can’t, I’m gonna…”

She didn’t give me a chance to warn her before she finished me off. My heart was beating so hard and fast I wondered if she could hear it as she kissed her way up my chest, holding my shirt out of the way before she dropped a chaste kiss on my lips.

“You’re making me miss the movie,” she teased, her eyes sparkling.

I grabbed the back of her head, trapping her. “I love you. You know that, right? I’ve never stopped loving you. Not for a single second, baby.”

She swallowed before closing her eyes and sitting upright.

“Say something.” I didn’t expect her to tell me she felt the same way. It was too soon for that, but I wanted to at least know she could get there eventually.

“There’s obviously still something between us,” she said, covering her face with her hands. “But I’ll be damned if I know what it is. I still want to be with you, like this, but that doesn’t mean we’re good for each other, Pierce. It just means we know how to make each other feel good.”

“This thing between us is a hell of a lot more than just sex and you know it,” I said, pulling up my jeans and refastening them. I couldn’t help it, but I was pissed that she’d try to reduce what we’d shared to just a physical act and that it didn’t mean more.

“No, I don’t know it.” She touched my forearm. “But I’m trying to figure it out. Think you can give me time to do that?”

Like I had a choice. She could tell me it might take five years for her to figure out whether I was the one she wanted and it wouldn’t matter. I’d still be waiting, ‘cause there was no one else for me. This girl owned me.

“Sure.”

“Please don’t be upset,” she said, gripping my thigh. “You’re not regrettin’ this, are you? Us messin’ around tonight?”

“No.” I curled my hand around the back of her head and brought her in for a kiss. “But I’m not gonna lie, this isn’t easy for me. I want you to be mine again, and I hate that you’re not.”

“I can make you a promise,” she said, running her fingertip over my lower lip. “I don’t wanna be with anyone else—like this—until I can figure it out.”

At least I knew no one else would have the right to touch her. That would allow me to sleep at night. “I think I can live with that.”

Her lips curved up in a smile. “This was nice,” she whispered. “Bein’ with you like this again.”

“Yeah, it was,” I said, kissing her.

 

***

 

My brother was still up when I got home, so I sank down on the couch beside him with a heavy sigh.

“Uh oh, what’s wrong? Things didn’t go as planned?”

“I didn’t have a plan.” Yes, I did. To get closer to Keira, and that sweet kiss and hug she gave me before slipping into her car proved I’d gained some ground.

“Yeah, right.” He chuckled. “With Keira, there’s always a plan.” He dug into the potato chip bag on the coffee table, grabbing a handful. “First you planned to get her number, then a date. Then you wanted her to sleep with you, be your girlfriend—”

“Other way around,” I muttered, snatching the bag.

Keira was a good girl who wouldn’t sleep with random guys when we’d met. She was young, still a virgin, and refused to sleep with someone until she was sure she was in love. It took her four months to decide, but she made every one of the cold showers I had to suffer through worth it.

“Then you wanted her to marry you. Then you broke up with her and now you want her back.”

“I’m gonna get her back,” I said, trying to convince myself. “Tonight was a good start.”

“Oh yeah? You talked about what happened when y’all broke up?”

“We talked.”

“Is that all you did?” he asked, nudging me.

“If you think I’m gonna talk to you about my sex life, especially with Keira, you’re crazy.” What happened between me and that girl would never leave my lips. I had too much respect for her for that shit.

“I know, I know,” he said, sighing.

“If you know, why the hell did you ask?”

“I just want to know you’re not settin’ yourself up for a fall.” His look was serious when he said, “I know you can’t be impartial where she’s concerned. You might be seein’ things that aren’t there.”

I didn’t need to hear this shit tonight. Yet I was a sucker for punishment so I asked, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I know you want her to give you a second chance. You want that more than… anything. But you can’t force things, man. You guys have been apart more than a minute. A lot of shit’s gone down.”

“None of that matters to me.” I thought about the other guys she’d slept with. That mattered to me, but there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it so I couldn’t get hung up on it.

“It should matter.” He reached for the remote, turning the volume down on the TV. “You can’t pretend like she hasn’t changed. It’s obvious she has.”

“Yeah, and I’m the reason.” I hated that I was the reason. She’d been so sweet and innocent before, and now she had this edge to her. She didn’t trust people the way she had before I’d forced her to believe that I betrayed her.

“You don’t know that. Maybe she’s just growin’ up, gettin’—”

“Trev, I know what I did, okay? I know I fucked her up.” When I told Trevor what I’d done, he’d sworn a blue streak before throwing a bottle at me. I’d ducked just in time to watch it collide with the wall. “You can’t get over something like that, believin’ your fiancé cheated on you, without it messin’ up your mind.”

“So maybe the girl she is now ain’t the girl you wanna be with. You ever thought of that?”

“No.” She could never change so much that I’d stop wanting her. “I still want her as much as I ever did. Maybe more.”

“You want what you used to have. Before you got famous. Things were easy then. If you recall, things weren’t so easy after you moved to Nashville, Pierce. You guys were fightin’ all the time.”

“I know, but—”

“Just hear me out,” he said, raising his hand. “Your mind only wants to remember the good shit. It’s my job to remind you of the bad too. I care too much about you and Keira to see you guys hurt each other again.”

“You think I want to hurt her?” I’d rather lose her than hurt her again.

“No, I don’t think you want to. But I think you might if you don’t think this through.”

“I’ve been thinkin’!” I tried to tamp down the frustration, but it wasn’t easy. I knew my kid brother was only trying to help, but I’d only seen red lights for the past year. I wanted to see green for a change. I wanted to floor it. “I’ve been overthinkin’, analyzin’ this shit to death. I’m sick of it!”

“All you’ve been thinkin’ about is how to get her back,” he said, unfazed by my outburst. “When what you need to think about is why you broke up in the first place. You loved her too much to make her live a life that didn’t make her happy. I sure as hell didn’t agree with your tactics, but I got why you did it.”

“You were the one who suggested we come back here. Why would you do that if you didn’t think us gettin’ back together was a good idea?”

“Honestly?” He shrugged. “Closure, I guess. I thought maybe you could have a conversation. You’d tell her the truth, she’d tell you she forgave you. You’d hear about all the ways she’d moved on and you might finally be able to let her go.”

“Guess your plan backfired then, didn’t it?”

Trevor got up, tossing the remote on the couch beside me. “Yeah, and honestly, I feel pretty shitty about that ‘cause I’m afraid you two are in for a whole world of hurt if you think about rewritin’ history.”