Chapter Eighteen

        “So, what you’re saying is, you’re in love with her, but you don’t know what she wants.”

        Noah looked at his friend Liam who was helping him work on the storefront under his apartment. “That’s the gist of it. I know she wants me. Our chemistry is off the charts. But when I try to get in there with her, emotionally, she slams the door in my face. Metaphorically speaking.”

        “Uh huh. Women are weird,” Liam mumbled. “They get a guy who treats ‘em like shit and they hand him everything, heart and soul. And he fucks ‘em over.” He threw a rotted piece of wood on the pile for the dumpster. “But they get a good guy, one who treats ‘em like gold, and they shit all over him. It’s fucked up.”

        “You thinkin’ about Tracey during that little rant?”

        Liam snorted and Noah took that as a yes.

        Tracey had been Liam’s live-in girlfriend for two years. Noah didn’t know the whole story because Liam hadn’t shared much other than he had been thinking about proposing when Tracey suddenly ended things and hitched herself to some loser who got her hooked on drugs. Last he’d heard, Tracey was back living with her parents in Pine Creek after a stint in rehab.

        “Can I ask you something?”

        Liam looked up from what he was doing. “Yeah?”        

        “Tracey.” Liam’s spine snapped straight. “If she came back around, clean, and wanted to pick back up with you...would you take her back?”

        “Fuck no. Why’d you ask?”

        Noah frowned. He wasn’t really sure why he’d asked that. “I don’t know. I guess I just wonder at people’s capacity for forgiveness. You know, Cody beat Emmie up pretty good. Twice that I’ve been witness to. But anyone who listens to town gossip knows it went on for years.”

        “You’re wondering why she stayed with him all that time?”

        “I guess. I mean, I know about battered woman syndrome and all that. I get why she didn’t leave, and I’m not saying it’s her fault. I know it sure as fuck isn’t. I guess I’m just wondering if he ever got his act together if she’d go back to him.” Noah threw his hammer down, the possessive rage he felt over Emma Jean flowing through his veins. “Fuck. I don’t know what I’m saying. I know she’d never go back to him. Never mind me. I’m gonna run upstairs and grab a beer. You want one?”

        “Yeah, sure, man,” Liam responded, eyeing Noah warily.

        Noah scrubbed his hands over his face as he stood in front of the fridge in his apartment. His head was a mess over Emma Jean. He’d been right about their chemistry, and what happened on his desk the night before proved it. But he didn’t know how to break through to her emotionally. She clearly hadn’t understood his reaction to her not sharing about the notes she’d been getting. She thought he was angry, and hell, he was. But that anger came from a place of fear. He didn’t want anything else to happen to her, either physically or emotionally. And those notes were going to fuck with her head, whether she admitted it or not. Cody thought he still had a hold on her, but he needed to learn that Noah’s hold was stronger. No matter what it took, Noah was keeping Emma Jean. He was not going to let Cody take any piece of her away from him.

        He grabbed the beers and made his way back downstairs. The back half of the storefront was coming along nicely. The foundation and basic structural elements of the building were sound, and the back half had new flooring and utility hookups. Currently, they were working on hanging new drywall. All the electrical had been updated, and Noah was pleased with the way the project was progressing.

        He passed one of the beers to Liam, but his friend’s attention wasn’t on him. Noah followed his line of sight out the small section of window that was not covered in tarp and smirked.

        “Whatcha lookin’ at, buddy?”

        Liam scowled. “Nothin’,” he grunted, snatching the beer from Noah’s outstretched hand.

         Nothing, indeed, Noah thought. Through the small section of the window, he could see a petite, curvy woman with dark, curly hair. She was examining Noah’s building with a critical eye, unaware that she was being watched. Noah started to feel like a bit of a creeper when the woman turned her thoughtful frown on the other buildings on the street, seemingly assessing the location. Perhaps she’s looking for a commercial space to rent.

        If she was a potential tenant, Noah should go outside and talk to her. He gave Liam, who was trying to pretend like he wasn’t also watching the woman, a sideways glance before moving to the door.

        “Hey. Hi.” He waved to her as he exited the front door of the pre-war building.

        “Hello,” the woman replied in a soft, but husky, voice.

        “You interested in the storefront?”

        “Oh, um. Just looking right now. Weighing my options.”

        “Ah. Well, I’m Noah Hawkins,” he said, extending his hand and thinking the woman looked familiar, but he couldn’t place her. “I own the building, so if you’re interested in setting up shop here, then I’m your guy.”

        Shaking his hand, the woman smiled. “Sadie. Sadie Davenport. Tell me, Mr. Hawkins, does the storefront happen to have a commercial kitchen inside?”

        “Uh...no. In the process of remodeling, actually, so it doesn’t have much of anything other than the basic necessities. New electrical, flooring, walls. You need a kitchen?”

        “A commercial kitchen, yes. I’m thinking of relocating my bakery.”

        “A bakery? That’s great, actually. The only baked goods that don’t come prepackaged around here are the ones at Bucky’s, and they’re terrible,” he chuckled. “Bucky’s is the diner,” he explained when she looked at him quizzically

        “Ah. Well, nothing’s concrete yet. Like I said, just weighing my options.”

        “Well, hey, I know it doesn’t have a kitchen, but can I give you my number just in case? It’s in a primo location, right here on the main drag, and once it’s done, I’m sure it’ll be snatched up right quick. I’ll give you priority if you can bake an apple fritter that doesn’t break my jaw,” he teased.

        Sadie saved his number in her phone and asked a couple more general questions about the town before thanking him for his time and walking down Perry Street, the main drag through town, and getting into a dark blue compact SUV.

        Noah re-entered the building and was greeted by Liam’s fierce frown. “What’s wrong?”

        Liam’s expression cleared. “Nothin’. She thinkin’ about rentin’?”

        “Looks that way.” Noah gripped the back of his neck where he suddenly felt tense. “Says she’s lookin’ to relocate her bakery, but she needs a commercial kitchen. Not sure that’s something I can provide. If she wants this storefront, she’d have to pay for the kitchen and make sure it’s to code… I’m sure she knows all that,” he muttered. He narrowed his eyes at his friend. “She’s pretty.”

        Liam began to scowl again, and Noah tried to hide his smile. Sometimes it was fun to poke the bear. Liam was tall and broad-shouldered with dark hair and a well-groomed, short beard. In his signature red and black flannel shirt, he looked like a lumberjack, which Noah found amusing considering the man owned the lumberyard, so he was basically a walking stereotype.

        “Seemed nice, too.”

        Liam heaved a sigh. “You wanna talk about the girl or you wanna get some actual work done?”

        “Alright,” Noah surrendered. “Let’s get this finished. I want to make sure I have time to get a shower before Emma Jean gets home.” He had plans for his lady.

***

        Noah was waiting at the door at the bottom of the steps when Tally dropped Emma Jean off after their shopping trip in Bozeman. He’d been standing the re since Tally had texted him and told him they were just entering the town limits. His sister had been texting him updates all day long, which he greatly appreciated. He would have preferred to hear directly from Emma Jean, but he was worried that any helicoptering by him would just upset her, and he wanted her amiable, not pissed off. So, he covertly kept an eye on her throughout the day with the help of his baby sister. He knew where they went, what they did, and what they ate. That last part may have been overkill, but considering that Cody had insisted Emma Jean keep a strict diet so as to not gain any weight, Noah was thrilled that she was eating whatever she wanted and learning which foods she truly enjoyed and which ones she didn’t without someone else telling her what to do or think.

        “Hey, baby. Have fun today?” he asked before pulling her into his arms and planting a quick but deep kiss on her. If she was still pissed at him about the night before, he wasn’t going to give her the opportunity to hold that between them. She was just going to have to get over it.

        “Hey. Yeah, we had a blast, actually.”

        “Good. Where are your bags?” He looked around for her haul, thinking she might need help carrying it up the stairs.

        She shook her head. “This is it,” she said, indicating her purse.

        “You didn’t buy anything?”

        She shrugged, looking down at the floor.

        “You went shopping with my sister and Fiona, and you didn’t buy anything?” he asked again to confirm.

        She shrugged again, looking uncomfortable.

        “Baby,” he said softly

        “I need to save my money, Noah,” she mumbled.

        He knew she was saving for a car, her schooling, and a place of her own- so she thought-, but it killed him that she wasn’t able to spend a few dollars on herself for something frivolous or just because she wanted it. He made a note to take her shopping himself so he could make sure that she didn’t go without. “You had fun, at least, right?”

        Her eyes brightened when she looked at him. “Yes, I promise,” she smiled. “Just because I didn’t blow a bunch of money unnecessarily, doesn’t mean I didn’t have a good time. We did a lot of window shopping, ate frozen yogurt, and had girl talk. It was a good day.”

        “Okay, baby. Let’s get upstairs. You work up an appetite with all your girl time?”

        “I could eat.”

        “Great. I’m making dinner tonight.”

        “No, you’re not. I’ll  make dinner.”

        “You wound me. We could go out,” he suggested.

        She seemed to consider it but decided against it. “Now that I’m home, I’d rather stay in.”

***

        After dinner, they sat on the couch in front of the T.V. as per what had quickly become their evening ritual with Emma Jean curled into Noah’s side, her legs tucked behind her on the couch. Noah’s arm snuggly held her in place. Emma Jean could have fallen asleep tucked into his side as she was. She was becoming much more comfortable with the physical contact, but even she knew she was still holding back. She really liked Noah. Really  liked him. But there was still that insidious voice in the back of her mind that reminded her of how unworthy she was and how Noah, being the best of men, deserved far better than her tarnished soul.

        She didn’t know what made her ask the question, but the words were past her lips before she could think about what she was saying. “Do you ever wonder what life would be like? If I hadn’t married Cody?”

        “Don’t have to wonder, sunshine. I know it’d be just like this.” His fingers were absently stroking over her shoulder and upper arm, and Emma Jean thought he sounded content when he spoke.

        “Do you think we would have gotten together sooner?”

        “I think that I would have asked you out in high school like I’d wanted to. I think you would have said yes.” He smirked. “Then you would have gone to college to become a vet. I still would have gone to design school. We probably would have had to do the long distance thing for a while, or maybe I would have followed you.” He shrugged. “ Either way, I know that our paths still would have led us to where we are right now because if there is one constant in both of those scenarios, it’s how I feel about you.”

        “Well,” her voice cracked. “I’m glad that despite the stuff that brought us here, we’re here now.”

        “Me too, sunshine. Me too.”