CHAPTER FIVE
The next couple of weeks go by in a blur.
After a few hiccups my first few days, I finally begin to understand how Michael likes things done and what a force of nature he is. His mind goes at warp speed, jumping from one project to another, it’s a wonder he can keep up with the fast pace of his life and remember everything that’s going on.
But he does.
His days are spent in and out of meetings with heads of companies he targets for his non-profit work, and on nonstop daily conference calls. I find myself growing more respect for him as the days go by. He is genuinely passionate about all the causes he puts his name, money, and time behind. I also quickly learn his employees respect him deeply and speak very highly of him. Anytime I’ve happened to overhear a conversation about him, someone is usually singing his praises about some miracle he’s been able to get done even with the odds stacked against him. The respect he’s managed to garner from his employees is a testament to who he is as a man and only makes him that much more attractive to me.
I thought the job would just be that—a job, where I’d clock in and out and not get invested in anything going on around me. But that hasn’t been the case at all. I’ve found myself reading more about the causes the Foundation has put so much into. I’ve become invested in what’s going on and gone through the whole gamut of emotions Danielle told me I might experience when I started—the outrage, the sadness, and the hope that we’re part of something bigger, something that’s actually making a change.
Since I had never been part of a team before and am an introvert by nature, I thought I’d be on my own. But it’s been the opposite of what I expected. Danielle has taken me under her wing and has become my constant companion here at the job. She is a godsend, and we’ve grown close in the short time I’ve been at the company.
She patiently answers any question I might have and has helped me navigate my way through my new job. She’s looped me in on office gossip, included me on coffee runs, lunches, and has really gone out of her way to make me feel welcome. What’s more, through Danielle, I’ve learned bits and pieces about my enigmatic boss/cousin through marriage.
Apparently, the last steady girlfriend Michael had was over a year ago and was an actress I’ve actually heard of.
I’ve never really been a fan of her work, and I swear it has nothing to do with that fact that she dated Michael. I swear!
Since he ended it with her, there hasn’t been anyone significant. For the most part, Michael’s known as a serial dater and playboy. Danielle also confirmed my suspicions about the women in the office being as obsessed with him as I am, and as far as she knows he’s never dated anyone who works for him.
Cue the sad music.
Other than the first day when we had the strange energy between us, there have been no other overt sexual teases thrown my way by Michael.
I’d be lying if I say I’m relieved by it.
“So what do you think of this for our centerpieces?” Danielle asks me as we sit in her office on a Friday and share a late lunch.
Danielle is the bride I should have been when I was going to marry Dimitri. She’s thoroughly engrossed in every detail and wants everything to be perfect. A bit of bridezilla peeks out every so often, but it’s nothing too dramatic. Seeing her enthusiasm for her impending nuptials only reinforces the fact that I made the right decision.
She shows me a few pictures of different flower arrangements and I point at the one I like best.
“This is my favorite,” I tell her, choosing the simple white flower display.
“Mine too! It’s a bit more than we wanted to spend but I feel like if I’m going to splurge on any day, this should be it.”
“You should choose whatever makes you happy,” I tell her as I take in a spoon full of my pea soup.
“You’re right, it’s my day.” She puts the pictures away into one of her many wedding folders and digs into her pasta. She has a whole color coordinated system going for her wedding that I find pretty damn impressive.
“God, Abby, I’m going to have to start my wedding diet soon. But the problem I’m having is that my nerves are making me want to eat more.”
“What?” I laugh in disbelief. “Trust me, you don’t have anything to worry about. You don’t need to diet. Your body is perfect.”
“You haven’t seen me with my clothes off.”
“You’re crazy.” I shake my head.
“Regardless of whether I’m crazy or not, it’s what all the brides do. A bride is supposed to look emaciated on her wedding day.”
I burst out laughing. “Who says?”
“My mother,” Danielle tells me, rolling her eyes. “Now, if there’s one thing that’s driving me crazy about this wedding, it’s my mother. It’s like she’s possessed or something.”
“I can’t tell you how relieved I am to hear you say that.”
“Why?”
“It’s good to know I’m not the only one who’s cursed with an overbearing mother,” I commiserate with Danielle. “For years I thought I was all alone.”
“Was yours a nightmare when you were planning your wedding?”
“Nightmare doesn’t even begin to describe what she put me through.” I cringe at the horrible memories coming back to me. “She was the absolute worst.”
We share another laugh.
“So I’m going to have to go there and ask,” Danielle says after a moment of silence. “How long has it been since you broke it off?”
“Five months.” I can’t believe it’s only been that long. It seems like a lifetime ago.
“Can I ask why you broke it off?” Danielle’s voice is cautious.
“I wasn’t happy,” I reply honestly.
Danielle has such good energy that it’s so easy to let my guard down with her. When I was growing up, I didn’t have many girlfriends I could relate to or felt like I could really confide in. And when I was going through all of my misgivings about Dimitri, there was no woman in my social circle that I could talk to because they all believed I found the perfect match.
It’s nice to talk to a woman who has her life together. And who comes from a world where love trumps pedigree.
“Well that’s a reason if there ever is one,” Danielle agrees. “Happiness should always be your first priority.”
“I just couldn’t see how I would ever be fulfilled with him—if I’m being honest, we didn’t share any love or passion between us—and I couldn’t imagine that being my life forever.” I can feel the suffocating feelings come over me just by remembering that time in my life.
“I just couldn’t go through with it. Not even when I thought about what it would mean for my future or who it would hurt. I had to be selfish.”
“I don’t see what you did as being selfish.”
“Not everyone would agree with you.” I smile ruefully. “My mother and a lot of friends think I’m crazy for leaving him.”
“I can’t say anything about your mother because I think it’s just inevitable for them to always think they know what’s best for you,” Danielle says. “But your friends—they’re supposed to support you no matter what.”
Her words ring true and for once I feel happiness that someone gets me—understands how I feel and is on my side.
“So when did you know?” Danielle continues to prod.
“From the moment I got engaged,” I say my truth out loud for the first time.
“Holy shit, Abby.” Danielle can’t contain her surprise. “Why did you say yes in the first place?”
“Family pressure,” I tell her with an embarrassed smile.
Danielle stares at me in silence
“Sounds crazy, right?” I say.
“Not at all,” Danielle says, shaking her head. “Everyone has that in some way or another. Yours is still a bit old-fashioned and extreme…”
“He was the ideal candidate on paper,” I go on to explain how I arrived in my situation in the first place.
Danielle remains quiet so I rush on to explain.
“I don’t want to put him down in any way because I know he’ll be perfect for someone else. He had many great qualities going for him. He just wasn’t for me.”
Danielle digests my words.
“Well, I think it was incredibly brave of you.” Danielle’s voice carries a great deal of respect. “I don’t know if I would have been able to cut it off so close to the date.”
I shrug off her comment.
“You’d be surprised.”
“So you’re a bit of a rebel, Abby,” Danielle says with a bit of awe. “You’re like the real-life Runaway Bride.”
“I’m not like,” I tell her with a smile. “I am.”
We both burst out laughing.
“Are you dating anyone now?” Danielle continues on after a moment.
“No,” I shake my head. “No one.”
“We’ll have to set you up. I love playing Cupid.” Her eyes glow in excitement. “Tom, my fiancé, has some really great single friends. When you’re ready, of course—are you?”
“Ready?” I question, meeting her gaze.
I think about finally going out with someone. Sharing a first kiss. Holding hands. Feeling cherished and loved.
I long for that kind of companionship. A real relationship.
“I am more than ready.” I’m sure she can hear the longing in my voice. “It’s time.”
“How long has it been?”
“Since I’ve been with a man?” I ask her with a playful smile. “Too damn long, Danielle. Too bloody damn long.”
I watch Danielle’s smile freeze on her face as her gaze moves over my shoulder and settles on whoever is standing right behind me.
My heart sinks in dread.
“Michael,” Danielle says. “Can I help you with something?”
Lord.
He’s standing in the doorway? Right now? Behind me?
“Ladies.” I hear his sultry voice.
Did he hear that last bit about me needing a man?
“I’m sorry to interrupt your lunch, but I was hoping I could steal Abby for a minute or two.”
I slowly turn around and shamelessly stare at his tall body. He usually dresses casually at the office in jeans and T-shirts or long sleeved thermal tops. Today he’s wearing a fitted dark navy blue suit that looks like it was made for his body. My stomach clenches as I admire the way he looks.
“I didn’t think you’d be in today,” I tell him as my heart races. I’m surprised to see him since he had me block off the entire day.
“Change of plans.” His eyes are guarded. “When you finish up in here I’d like you to meet me in my office.”
He leaves us quickly and I let out a breath when he’s gone.
“Strange,” Danielle says, staring after him.
“Must be important,” I tell her as I gather my things together.
“Must be,” Danielle says as she continues to eat. “IM when you’re back at your desk.”
“Will do.” I get up and make my way down the hall to his office.
I knock once before entering.
“Come in.”
The door slides open and I find Michael standing by the floor-to-ceiling windows staring out on the river. I shut the door and wait in bated breath.
“That perfume you wear…” His voice is low and almost husky.
I put a self-conscious hand on my neck and wonder how he can smell the scent clear across the room.
“It’s like fresh flowers on a spring day. It lingers in a room after you leave.”
He turns and faces me, and I’m hit with the full force of his intensity. I try to think of a clever response, but before I can, he pulls the rug right out from underneath me.
“I like it.”
My mouth goes dry. My gaze meets his and for a second I see a glimpse of the fire lurking behind the shadows. And then I know. It’s not in my head. It’s not just my wishful thinking. There is something between us. I don’t know exactly what it is, but it’s there—an underlying sexual tension and it’s not just coming from me, I feel it oozing from him as well.
He’s attracted to me.
And that knowledge fills me with such pleasure that, if I could, I’d dance around the room and do a million cartwheels.
“So how can I help you?” I ignore his compliment and ask the question as soon as I’m able to breathe normally again.
Michael gives me a knowing smile before crossing his arms.
“Do you have plans tonight?”
“Plans?” I shake my head thinking he needs me to stay late for work. “No plans.”
“On a Friday night?” Michael’s voice is curious.
“No plans.” There’s a defensive edge to my voice. “I didn’t have time to make any. I’ve just been too busy here.”
“Perfect.” I think I hear a sigh of relief. “I need a date.”
“A date?”
For a moment I wonder if wants me to go through his black book of ladies and pick someone for him to go out with.
Over my dead body—
“So I’ll pick you up at eight?” His lips curl into a cocky smile, and I feel as though I’m a tennis ball that’s being struck back and forth on a court.
What is going on here? Have we just crossed a line and entered a grey zone?
“Umm, sure,” I finally manage to say. “What’s the occasion?”
“I’m having dinner with an old friend and I thought you might like to join.”
“Is it business related?” I ask in confusion.
“It usually ends up going there with Jack and me,” Michael replies smoothly.
But he hasn’t really answered the question. So is it a real date or business? I can’t be sure.
“I’ll join if you need me to.” I hope I don’t sound too eager. Or stunned.
Or both.
“I need you to,” he replies politely.
I continue to stand there, probably looking like I’ve just gone through electroshock therapy.
“Is there anything else I can help you with?” I finally find my voice.
“I think that covers it for today,” he tells me with a slow, knowing smile.
***
I find that alcohol and courage go hand in hand.
Truly. It’s one of life’s greatest miracles.
I left the office earlier than I usually do and rushed home to get ready for my “date” with Michael. The first executive decision I made was to shave my legs. I told myself it was a precautionary move and it had to be done anyway, so what was the harm in doing it before my “date”?
It didn’t mean anything.
Yes, I know. Sometimes I find it’s easier to lie to yourself rather than face the truth.
I showered quickly, tried on three different outfits and finally settled on a simple sleeveless black fitted dress that falls right to my knees. I paired the dress with a pair of Gucci suede black heels, left my long hair down around my shoulders and got in two full glasses of champagne before Michael had even arrived.
Hence the newfound confidence.
Now, I’m feeling good.
When the phone rings to let Michael up to my flat, I have a healthy buzz going that has done wonders for my state of mind.
He knocks on my door faster than I expect.
My heart is in my throat and I don’t know if I feel nauseous or am just in desperate need of taking him to my bedroom and having my way with him. All that separates me from my fantasy come to life is one door.
Calm down, Abby. You’ve got this.
Just remember, you’re shaved, locked, and loaded.
I take another sip of champagne needing a bit more liquid courage and finally open the door.
My mouth goes dry when I see him.
He looks really good.
Michael is still wearing the suit from earlier today, but now the top few buttons of his white shirt are open, exposing some of that tanned, muscular chest I’ve pretty much fantasized about my whole life. After I’m finished checking him out, I watch him take his turn. I try to remain unaffected, but it’s hard when the look on his face can melt steel.
“You look beautiful.”
His compliment works like an aphrodisiac.
“Thank you,” I reply shyly.
Michael’s gaze comes to rest on the champagne glass I’m still holding in my hand before flicking up to my face.
“Liquid courage?” His smile is sinful.
“Hardly.” I hope my voice sounds calm. “Would you like a glass?”
“We don’t have time.” He sounds disappointed. “Maybe after. You can invite me up for a nightcap.”
I don’t miss the innuendo in his voice.
My senses reel. I want him.
So badly.
So badly that I’m tempted to tell him to forget about the dinner and ask if he’d like to have that nightcap right now.
Maybe the alcohol on an empty stomach combined with my nerves wasn’t such a good idea after all…
Or maybe it’s exactly what I need to get to where I’ve wanted to be my whole life.
In Michael’s Sinclair’s bed.
Or him in mine. Whatever scenario works out faster.
“Are you ready?” Michael’s voice is gruff.
“Yes.” I put my champagne flute down, reaching for my camel colored coat.
He stands by the door and waits for me to exit before shutting it behind me.
Dinner is actually really fun and conversation flows easily.
Michael’s friend Jack reminds me of the guys I went to school with.
He went to Eton with Michael and now works for a tech company that specializes in social media. He has a pleasant demeanor and is a lot of fun. I especially like the way he dotes over his girlfriend Jennifer, who’s in town from Hong Kong for the week. Seeing couples in love always gives me hope. Jennifer tells me the two have had a long distance relationship for over a year and that it hasn’t been easy, but they plan on moving in together in the coming year.
“I’m surprised I’ve never met you before,” Jack says to me as the waiter pours us another glass of wine. My glass has not been empty since we sat down to dinner hours ago and I’m immensely grateful for it because the alcohol has only helped loosen me up.
“You being family with Michael and all.”
Jack studies my face as he continues.
“But I have to say, you do look very familiar to me.”
“You’ve probably seen me out over the years.” I take a sip of my wine. “I’m sure we’ve been to some of the same places.”
Jack leans back in his chair and brushes his blond hair away from his eyes.
“I never forget a face,” he says, furrowing his brow. “It’s going to come to me, I know it.”
“You’re making her nervous,” Michael says as he looks over at me with sympathy. “Don’t mind him, Abby. He’s harmless.”
“I’m fine.” I laugh.
“So you’re working for Michael now?” Jennifer intervenes with a gentle smile as she reaches over and takes Jack’s hand in hers.
“Yes, it’s been just a few weeks now.”
“How do you like it?”
Jack interrupts our conversation. “Is he a slave driver?”
“Hardly,” I reply acutely aware of Michael’s eyes on me. “He’s a great boss.”
Jack bursts out laughing and looks over at Michael.
“You train them well, my friend.”
“No training here.” I’m sure Jack can hear the irritation in my voice. “I’m not afraid to speak the truth.”
“If he were an ass you’d tell him?” Jack’s smile is devilish.
“Absolutely.”
Michael bursts out laughing.
“There, you see,” Michael says, putting an arm on the back of my chair. His long fingers brush up against my neck, causing goose bumps to make their way up my body. “I can’t be so bad if she’s not afraid to call me an ass.”
“I like you, Abby,” Jack says. “You’re brave.”
“You have no idea,” Michael agrees.
I shrug in embarrassment and look down at my plate of half-eaten soufflé. What I wouldn’t give to eat the whole thing…
Flabby Abby.
Right. Scratch that. Not going to touch the rest of that dessert.
“It just came to me!” Jack claps his hands together in realization. “Where I’ve seen you, Abby.”
I wait for Jack to continue.
“Were you engaged to that wealthy Russian?” Jack asks curiously. “Dimitri something or other?”
My stomach drops in dread, but I keep a smile plastered on my face. Michael’s body tenses beside me.
“I was.” I bite my lip, not supplying any other information.
“And you broke it off rather dramatically if my memory serves me well,” Jack continues on as if we’re discussing something as trivial as the weather.
“Jack…” Michael intervenes quickly to my relief. “This isn’t a topic Abby wants to discuss.”
“She doesn’t?” Jack asks innocently.
“No, she doesn’t,” I interject, shaking my head. “She really doesn’t.”
Jack meets my gaze with an apologetic grin.
“I’m sorry, Abby,” he says earnestly. “I’ve had a lot to drink and sometimes I forget my manners.”
“It’s all right.” I look down into my lap feeling embarrassed.
“Jack is really good at putting his foot in his mouth,” Jennifer rushes out to say to me as she shakes her head. “Trust me, I know from previous experiences.”
I can’t help but laugh.
“So now that I’ve completely managed to make a mess of what was an absolutely lovely dinner, where should we go?” Jack asks the group with a sheepish smile.
“It’s late—” Michael begins as he glances over at me, the look in his eyes protective.
“It’s Friday night and we haven’t gone out in ages.” It doesn’t sound like Jack will take no for an answer. “And Jennifer is here from out of town. And now I’ve got to make up my blunder with Abby and show her a good time. Come on. You must. I insist.”
Michael fixes his brilliant blue gaze on me, and I feel his finger brush up against my shoulder.
“What do you think?”
I’m not thinking. I can’t. Not with all the wine I’ve had and the way he keeps touching me and wreaking havoc on my senses.
“I’m up for it.”
He lifts a brow, questioning.
“You’re sure?”
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
Michael’s grin is wicked. My toes curl in my shoes, and I want to lean into him so badly it’s a challenge to remain still.
If Jack and Jennifer notice any of the tension between us, they cover it well.
“So there,” Jack interrupts our stare off. “It’s settled then. Let’s go dancing.”
***
Over the years, I used to fantasize about running into Michael at one of the clubs I used to frequent. I had every scenario mapped out in my head. Of course, they all always ended the same way—with Michael and me in bed together having the best sex of our lives.
Georgie spoke the truth when he said I dragged him to different clubs and bars I thought Michael might be at. Unfortunately, all of my endless stalkings never produced any results, and I always missed him.
And now…
Now here I am at one of London’s most popular clubs as his date. I still don’t know what the parameters are between us, what is really going on, but a buzzed Abby is happy to test out the waters in any way she can.
The owner knew who Michael was the moment we entered and rolled out the red carpet for him. They ushered us through the crowds back to a VIP section where we settled into a booth in one of the darkest corners of the club. They placed a few bottles of hard liquor on the table and Michael gave orders for them to bring wine and champagne as well.
With the music thumping around us, and the alcohol warming my body I feel myself get a second wind. I can’t remember the last time it was when I let my hair down and had fun. I’ve been so consumed by the drama that I forgot about this part of life that we all need every so often.
Like just have a bloody good time.
I haven’t felt this free in forever.
Jack pours four shots of tequila in the small shot glasses that were placed on the table. He passes them around.
“I don’t know…” I shout above the music as I shake my head. “This might not be safe…”
“Nonsense!” Jack sounds inebriated. “What’s not safe about tequila?”
Let me count the ways.
Michael is sitting just opposite me in the booth and Jennifer and Jack are standing up with their shots swaying to the music. I steal a look at him as he takes his shot and lifts it in the air. His gaze crashes into mine.
“To a wonderful night!” Jack says with a bit too much enthusiasm.
Michael’s brilliant blue eyes are glued to mine and we both take the shot at the same time. The liquid burns down my throat and into my stomach.
God! That stuff is strong!
“Let’s go dance, beautiful!” Jack grabs hold of Jennifer and takes her out to join the crowded dance floor.
And then there were two.
Michael stretches out in the booth like he owns the place, his face partially hidden because of the dark lighting in the club. I can’t see his eyes now, but I know he’s watching me. I can practically feel his gaze, like he’s reaching out and touching me. The music pulses through my body. All around us are people dancing and drinking away, but it feels like we are the only two people in the world.
“Come closer.”
Said the Wolf to Red Riding Hood.
“Why?” Tequila makes me brave.
“Why not?” I can hear the challenge in his voice. “Are you scared?”
Scared?
Excited would be the better adjective to use.
I think I threw my sanity out the door when I took the shot of tequila because in the next second I scoot around the curve of the booth and settle in about a foot or so away from Michael’s lean body. The small distance between us makes me feel like I am still in control even though I’m well aware I’m not the one in the driver’s seat.
Michael ends that brief sense of safety when he reaches out and takes a piece of my hair in his hand. He rubs it together like it’s fine silk.
The intimate gesture wreaks havoc on my nerves.
“I like your hair down,” he tells me.
I promise I will wear my hair down for the rest of my life. And yes, I am fully aware that my lack of humility is astounding.
“Thank you.”
“Thank you,” he mimics back.
“Are you back to making fun of me?” Clearly, the alcohol has given me a crazy amount of courage.
“Are you back to being proper?” he counters.
“What do you mean?”
“I thought that last shot of tequila might have helped shed some of that armor you wear.”
“I don’t wear any armor.” I cross my arms and legs defensively.
“No?” He doesn’t sound like he believes me. “When was the last time you did something like this? Go out and just have fun?”
“I can’t remember,” I reply honestly. “But that doesn’t mean I’m wearing armor.”
He laughs.
“The way you say it, it’s like I implied you’re physically dressed like some medieval knight.” He smirks. “You’re not understanding me.”
“Then please explain.”
“When was the last time you let go of your inhibitions and just lived in the moment?”
I’m silent as my thoughts drift over my life.
“When was the last time you just did what you’ve always wanted to do?”
Michael places his hands over my heart and I know he can feel how erratic the beat is.
Because of him.
“I’m talking about this.”
I feel like I’m playing a chess game with a master.
“And what is this?” I’m happy my voice sounds calm even though I’m anything but.
“This?” Michael’s grin is wicked. “This thing between us?”
His admission that there is an “us” thrills me.
“This energy we have. The attraction…” he continues, hypnotizing me with his words. “It’s exciting. And risky. Dangerous. But it’s fun.”
His gaze flicks from my eyes to my mouth and back up to my eyes again. My mind races as I look away and stare blindly out onto the dance floor.
He grabs hold of my chin and pulls my gaze back to his.
“What do you think this is?” His sparkling blue eyes pin mine.
Now or never.
I love you, Alcohol.
“I honestly don’t know.” My voice is strong.
“You don’t?” There’s no mistaking the primal look in his eyes.
“I’ve never really known.” I finally admit the truth.
His hand begins to caress my jawline right before the pad of his thumb comes up to rub my lower lip.
“What do you want it to be?” I can hear the desire in his sexy voice.
Since I can’t find the words, I show him instead.
My tongue brushes up against his finger that rests on my lip.
Michael reacts as though he’s been burned by fire. He drops his hand and moves it through his hair. I take a calculated breath of my own as I wait for his next move.
Now he knows.
I want him.