Chapter 19

Sin closed her eyes, “But we did…We did have relations.”

“What?” It was impossible to ignore the dismay in Jasmine’s tone.

“When he didn’t know who I was, when he thought I worked for Madame Blanche—well, we didn’t stop when we should have.”

“Then you really must marry him.”

“Jasmine.”

“I know, I know, I sound like a hypocrite, but it is not the same, and even if it were, you are not me. I don’t think you would be happy forced away from society.”

“I don’t see why you say that. I’ve never been one for following the rules.”

“But you’ve always known exactly how far you can go and still return to safety. And you have a choice. I did not.”

“But…”

Jasmine leaned forward. “What my father offered was not a choice. Do not pretend it truly was. There is a great difference between marrying a man you hardly know and do not like and marrying one that you actually care about. And you do care about James, do you not?”

How was she supposed to answer that? It would be a lie to say she did not care about him, but she was not yet ready to admit that despite everything her emotions might be far more involved than she liked. “I am not sure I want to talk about this even though I know I need to. It is hard to believe that it is not all a dream—or a nightmare. I cannot quite decide which.”

A harsh laugh escaped Jasmine’s throat. “That I understand. Until Hope was born I went back and forth, trying to decide. Now I am quite sure it is a dream, although there are moments—like when you talk about what James did—when I slip toward nightmare, but nothing that gave me Hope can be a nightmare.”

Cynthia’s hand slipped to her own belly. “I am afraid that would definitely move me into nightmare. Whatever I decide to do, I must decide before I know. I don’t want to be any more forced than I am now.”

Jasmine’s mouth twisted. “And yet whatever you decide may change the moment that you do know. No matter what you think you will do, it does change.”

Bowing her head, Sin let the truth of that statement wash over her. Yes, if she was pregnant, she would need to put the child first, would want to put the child first. If she was with child, she would have to marry James. It was easy to pretend otherwise now, but the truth was clear. Which left the question of Jasmine…

“Don’t ask. We have had this conversation already and my answers will be no more forthcoming,” Jasmine said. “All I can say is it is far more complicated than one might think. Now, enough avoiding the real subject, you and James…”

“It is complicated. Neither of us meant for it to happen and I refuse to be bound by one mistake, unless…”

“I will let us ignore the unless for now. Tell me exactly what happened.”

A blush rose upon Cynthia’s cheeks. “I do not think you want to know exactly what happened. He is your brother.”

“You are certainly right about that, but I need to understand if I am to give you any advice, which I imagine is the only reason you are telling me anything.”

“And perhaps I simply need a friend.” Cynthia let her head drop to her hands. “I suppose I was curious. You are right; I did always fancy James—although in a young and innocent manner. But when I saw him here, there was something about him that drew me—and then when I found myself alone and he didn’t know who I was—and it seemed like nobody would ever know—and well, I…I…I don’t know. One minute all I wanted was a kiss and then…”

“I think I understand.” A strange look filled Jasmine’s eye. “One moment you want one simple thing and then suddenly it is all too late. There does not seem to be much of an in between when it comes to passion. Once it flares it sweeps you along like a leaf on a windy lake.”

Jasmine did understand—she was getting very good at being a leaf. “Exactly.”

“And now you don’t know what to do. If you knew he truly wanted you, loved you, it would be one thing, but to let circumstance force a marriage for something so unintended, something you take as much blame for, if not more so, than he, that does seem a step too far.”

Was Jasmine talking about herself or about Cynthia? Cynthia certainly agreed with most of what she’d said—although she wasn’t sure that she deserved more blame than James. Yes, she’d been curious. Yes, she’d let it happen, although she had been half-asleep. But she hadn’t really understood and she rather thought that he’d more than understood. Even if she had been one of Madame Blanche’s girls, would it have been allowable to take her when she was not yet aware? Or had he been asleep, too? It was so hard to know. She’d never had to think about these things before. “Definitely a step too far. And I don’t see why I should have to change my life because of what he did—and I am talking about the abduction, nothing else. Because that’s what really makes the difference. If I am not careful—or am simply unlucky—then everybody will know that I was alone with him and then…”

“And then you will have no choice. Why don’t you explain the rest of the story, how you hope to escape everybody knowing, and then we can decide what to do—although I still think the best choice is marriage. Now tell me all.”

And so Cynthia did. She sipped her tea when it came, nibbled on buttered toast, and explained about Jasmine’s supposed illness, the lies to Aunt Prudence, and all the rest of it. Jasmine listened as she sipped her own tea. Her face calm, although occasionally her eyes flashed. She clearly was still most displeased with her brother.

At last, Cynthia put her empty cup down. “And so here I am. I don’t even know what to do next. Do I go home and say you are much recovered? No, that would put to lie any chance you have of ever returning to society. I know you don’t think you want that, but it also would scuttle the duke’s plans to keep things secret, and if I did that who knows what he would do. The only hope for my story is for him to support it and he will only do that…”

“If it is in his best interests.” Jasmine let out a long sigh. “And you’ll have to decide how you want him to hear the tale. He does not like to be forced. If he feels that you are trying to push him, he may very well tell the truth in anger before he has a chance to think. He is prone to temper and, for all his intellect, can destroy his most carefully laid plans in an instant if anger overcomes him.”

“So do you have any advice?”

Jasmine sat upright. “Well, my actual advice would be to decide to marry James, but to do so in a way that would put you to best advantage. However, if you are quite decided on this foolishness, then I think you must try to see Scarlett. You must throw yourself on his mercy, while making it clear how much it will help his tale of my illness if you say you have been visiting me in the country. Perhaps you can even say that I was heading off to—oh, I don’t know, somewhere distant, hoping the air would help my weak lungs. That might make him happy. Then again, it might not. One never knows with Scarlett.”

The Duke of Scarlett was enough to make anyone, man or woman, cower, and Cynthia had a hard time imagining herself calling on him, but then, surely it was better than giving in to the alternative. And the duke had always seemed to like her whenever he bothered to notice her.

Well, that was part of a plan.

“But what should I do about my family? Should I head home as soon as it is a decent hour?” Her heart beat with trepidation at this thought. Her father would probably smile and pat her head, but Gillian was much more cynical, not quite the evil stepmother of fairy tale, but not far from it. Cynthia was dreading her questions.

“I certainly don’t think there’s any need for you to hurry. I can offer you a bed, a bath, and a change of clothes, and then you can decide what to do. You may not want to stay here into the evening. It can get quite raucous, but you should be fine until at least midday. And if you wish to stay past that time, you are more than welcome. My chambers are high and in the back and nobody ever intrudes.”

“I would not want to put you out.”

Jasmine stood, and brushed the wrinkles from her skirts. “Nonsense, and if it grows late and you decide to spend the night, then so much the better. We can lie awake all night and tell each other ghost stories just like we used to. It will be such a treat for me. It has been a long time since I’ve truly been able to settle in with a friend. Although I should warn you that Hope still does not sleep through the night and will require at least one feeding.”

What could Cynthia do but nod her agreement.

“Where the hell is she?” James bellowed as he walked through the door, unmindful of the other gentlemen who stood in the hall. He slammed the door behind him, glad to see that Jasmine was alone.

She glanced at the closed door. “And nice to see you, too, brother. Did you bring your men with you? Should I start to run now, in hopes of escape?”

“So she told you.” He narrowed his eyes, and stared at his sister in her pale finery. She looked like a fairy princess behind her mask, delicate and enchanted. “That means she is here.”

“Or at least she was here,” Jasmine answered, not giving anything away.

“And where did she go from here, assuming that she is gone?” He strode into the room, squaring his shoulders, placing a hand on each hip, taking up as much space as possible.

And Jasmine laughed, the first honest one he’d heard from her since her disappearance months ago. “Did you know that one of Ruby’s lessons before she left was on reading a man’s body? No, I am not about to tell you something lurid. She simply explained how men use their bodies to gain power. I wish she could see you now. You are such a perfect example at the moment, taking up as much space as you possibly can. And she was right, if I did not know better I would find you quite intimidating.”

“I do not wish to speak of Ruby.”

“Still in denial that she is your sister. Yes, Sin told me that she’d told you.” Jasmine gave him the little smirk he knew so well. She was quite happy to poke the bear.

He did not want to think about that right now. It was much more important to find Sin, to be sure that she was in no danger. “No, I simply want to know about Sin. I must be sure she is not in trouble.”

“So noble after all you have done yourself.”

“What do you mean?”

Jasmine folded her arms across her chest and simply stared.

Sin would not have told her that, would she? Blast it all, she had. There was no mistaking the look of disapproval in his sister’s eye. “Then you know I must find her.”

“I know no such thing. What I do know is that she does not want to be found.”

“How can I make things right if I don’t know where she is and that she is well?”

“If you truly cared about her you would not have had her abducted in the first place.” Jasmine relaxed her arms and went to recline on the settee.

“You know that…”

“You meant to abduct me and not her. Do you think that makes it better? But very well, I will change it to you should have kept your hands off her if you did not wish to wed.”

“But I have asked her to marry me.” Surely that would count in his favor.

“From what I understand there was no asking involved and you should have asked her before you touched her. Women are funny about such things.”

They certainly were. “What does it matter, before or after? I asked.”

“You told her, and quite firmly, and Sin is no more likely than I am to follow such a command, and I am sure you remember how many hours I spent locked in the nursery because I didn’t listen even to father.”

That was certainly true. “But Sin was always much more agreeable. I think she likes following commands quite a bit.”

That silenced her.

She stared at him, her mind working to understand all the implications of his words. “Perhaps, but only on the surface. You know she has never been one for following rules. If she chooses to obey—to obey—your commands it is because she wishes to. There is no faster way to make her decide not to do something than to try to force her to do it.”

His mind filled with the image of Sin naked before him, following his every direction simply because she wished to, of her trembling flesh, of the scent of her desire. He felt his sex begin to swell, not at all what he wanted as he stood before his sister. And from the look on her face, she was quite aware of his feelings—and that was enough to cool him off. “Will you tell me where she is?”

Jasmine turned and walked away from him, staring out the window. “You are a hypocrite, you know? But then, most men are. You act like I committed some great sin, but your actions are no different. Or is it only women? Do you consider Cynthia to be fallen and loose?”

“Of course not. Although she does need to come to her senses and agree to wed me.”

A harsh laugh. “And you wonder that she does not wish to? I actually tried to persuade her of the same, but now I begin to think she is right. She would be a fool to tie herself to you without more thought. Although, if you find it any consolation, she has agreed that she will probably wed you if she finds herself with child. She is that much more sensible than I.”

“I am sorry I tried to take you without the baby.” He didn’t know where the words came from, but they had to be said. “I wasn’t thinking. I don’t know if that makes it better or worse, but if I thought of the baby I would have found a way to have her taken, too.”

“Just so you could then persuade me to give her away?” Her voice was so bitter.

“I admit that would have been my plan, but I probably could have been dissuaded with time. Sin insists that if I actually met your child, held her, I would feel differently.”

“My child’s name is Hope.”

“I know. It just makes it so much more real and I don’t want it to be. I want things to go back to the way they were. I need you to realize that this is not real.” He gestured about the room. “You are the daughter of a duke. This is not the place for you.”

Jasmine turned back to him, her face calm. “Actually, I am deciding it is very much the place for me. I would never have believed it, but I feel freer here than I ever have before. I have a purpose. It is good to no longer feel a pretty plaything.”

He waved an arm from her crown to her toes. “You’re dressed like that and you don’t think of yourself as a pretty plaything. Why do you think men come here, if not for pretty playthings?”

She released a long, slow breath. “I do understand your point, but I am in charge here. I would have thought you’d understand that—the desire to truly have control.”

That did hit a little close to home, but still…“You don’t sound completely confident.”

Her brow furrowed and for a moment he thought she would confide in him, but the moment passed. “That is irrelevant to our current discussion. I do think you need to talk with Sin. Come back tomorrow at three and I will see if I can get her to talk with you.”

“Then you do know where she is?”

“Tomorrow. And just so you make no mistakes, Sin is keeping with the story you created that she is visiting me during my illness. I would suggest you not say anything that would contradict that. She plans to speak to Father and get his agreement.”

What? “She plans to speak to Father? Why ever would she do that?”

“This will not work without him, and you know he does not like surprises—unless he is the one planning them.”

“That is true, but surely it would make more sense for me to talk to him.”

“I am not sure. He might be more inclined to argue with you. He is still partial to pretty girls and he always did have a soft spot for Sin. I never knew anyone else to get away with teasing him the way she did.”

“I don’t think he has any soft spots. He will tear her to shreds.”

“I think you do not give her enough credit. And are you afraid for her or for yourself? You have never been good with Scarlett.”

This was turning in circles. “I can handle Father fine. I just don’t choose to antagonize him when it is unnecessary.”

“Will you be here tomorrow?” Jasmine asked, seating herself again.

He did not wish to wait, but could see there was little choice. He did need Sin in a good mood if he was going to persuade her he was right. “Fine.”

“And you will say nothing until then.”

“Give me a little credit.” He turned and stalked from the room.