Tank

Kim eventually notices that my phone keeps beeping. I miss the feel of her naked body against mine, and her soft lips, the second she removes them and looks down at me with a watery, desirous, but still pretty annoyed expression.

"Are you gonna get that?" she asks.

"I would, but it just means I'm gonna have to leave," I tell her.

"So turn it off," she says. "Just make it stop beeping, it's driving me crazy."

I give her pouty lips another kiss. "You drive me crazy."

"What kinda old car emergency can you have in the middle of the night, anyway? Unless maybe, do you think someone got hurt?"

Annoyance disappears from her eyes, replaced by stark worry, bordering on panic. She's probably thinking about her dad dying, and damn it, we've had too much sadness for one night.

"I doubt it, Kim, don't worry about it. There's a bunch of other people that can be called in case of an emergency, if I'm not picking up," I say, and brush her hair back off her face. "We just have a very demanding client right now. We're fixing his vintage car up for some big auction in LA, and he keeps finding things for us to do, even in the middle of the night. Honestly, I'm fed up with him, but it's a big job."

I just keep lying, keep digging that hole deeper and deeper for myself. For us. But how the fuck do I tell her the truth now? There's too big a risk that she'll tell me to get lost if I do. I don't want her to tell me that.

"Just pick up," she says. "Work is important."

I listen to her advice, but then take one glance at my phone and realize it's been Level calling me all night. What the fuck is that upstart blowing up my phone for? I set him to watch the Sheriff’s house tonight, since he can't sit still unless he has something to do. But we're gonna have a long talk about when it's acceptable to call me and keep calling when I don't pick up. We're just not gonna have that talk in front of Kim.

I pick up my jeans and boxers, then face her. She looks like a fucking goddess laying there on the bed, all milky white skin and flame red hair, and I really hate what I have to tell her right now.

"I have to take off," I say anyway.

I should be working on getting rid of the Sheriff anyway, since Cross is losing his patience about it. But afterwards, me and Kim will have all the time in the world to wade through my lies.

"Seriously?" she asks and pouts.

"Yeah, I'm sorry, babe, but they can't finish this job without me," I tell her and put on my pants before I change my mind. I find my t-shirt and sweater tangled up in the bed sheets. I left my cut on the bike, like I always do when I visit, so I'm all ready to leave.

But just the sight of her naked body makes me want to take my clothes right back off and stay. Her kiss, after she rises and glides to me isn't doing me any favors in that regard either. But it is in other ways, in more important ways.

"I'll just take care of this, then I'm all yours," I tell her right before I leave.

"You better be," she calls after me, but what she really means is that she's already mine.

And that knowledge echoing in my brain, her kiss lingering on my lips, keep me warm during the walk down her driveway to my bike.

"Tank? Is that you?" a man whispers behind my back when I reach it.

"Yeah," I say and turn, but I see nothing but bushes.

"I thought, I recognized your bike," Level says, stepping out from behind the bushes onto the sidewalk. "But why'd you park out in the open like that?"

I have no fucking idea why he's asking me that, and I really don't like the tone of his voice, which suggests I did a very stupid thing parking here. After the twenty missed calls from him, I don't like it enough to do something about it.

"What were all those calls about, Level?" I snap. "Did you follow me here?"

He shakes his head, staring at me sternly, because he probably doesn't like my tone either. But I've brought countless upstart new recruits to heel over the years, and it'll be no different with him.

"I'm doing the job you set me to do," he says through what sounds like gritted teeth. "But you might’ve let me know you were around too, or I wouldn't call you so many times. I thought you were in trouble."

"Don't ever worry about me," I say, but beyond that what he's telling me makes no sense.

I told him to watch the Sheriff's house. Why would he be in front of Kim's house doing that? He must've followed me. Maybe Cross told him to do it, since he's been so suspicious of me lately. But, no. That's not Cross' way, he'd come to me directly.

"Why'd you keep calling me if you thought I was already here?" I ask.

"Because I couldn't find you anywhere. The guy's passed out on the living room sofa, and there's no bodyguards anywhere," he says. "We can hit him right now and be done with it. His wife won't hear a thing. Wasn't that your biggest problem with this job? His wife getting caught up in it?"

"Is it just you here?" I ask.

"Just you and me," he says triumphantly. "And we can finish this thing right now, get it over with. Prez would thank us for it."

His excitement to do this thing and impress Cross at the same time is a little sickening.

I shake my head and straddle my bike. "Too messy, we'll find a different way."

The thing is, his plan sounds pretty good. But I can't kill so soon after Kim told me she loves me. Other women have said that to me over the years, but I doubt any of them meant it the way Kim does. And I won't soil that in the same night by doing murder. Nor ruin the feel of her warm soft body against mine with that icy, clammy coldness that always enters me when I take a man's life.

"Why? This is the perfect opportunity," he protests.

"It's not even close to perfect," I bark back. "This is a quiet residential area with many windows facing this street, and people will be waking up soon. And like you so smartly figured out, my bike's been parked here all night. How long before they tie this hit to the biker wars thing the papers unearthed when we took down Seven, after one of the neighbors blabs that they saw a Harley parked here?" Tonight, and practically every night all month. This will be a problem.

I had no idea Kim lived on the same street as our latest target. I would've visited her by car if I had. Cross is right, I have let this one slip too far. I didn't even check the Sheriff's address before delegating the job of staking out his house.

Level looks like he's thinking, but the expression on his face tells me he's starting to see it my way.

"And the only way you'll impress Cross is by being smart," I add, to help his thought process along.

It's the complete truth too, I'm not even exaggerating. And I've handled this job very stupidly.

"Let's go back to HQ now and plan this shit out," I say. "You'll tell me all you know once we get there."

He nods and heads back behind the bushes. I consider not starting my bike until I'm further away from the house, but that won't make much of a difference. I'm sure all the nearby neighbors are used to hearing the roar of my Harley at all hours of the night and morning by now. This will be a problem.

* * *

The sun is rising when I park one of the club's cars on the block adjacent to Kim's house to walk down to her house and check the address.

I spent the last two hours going over all we know about the Sheriff-to-be. I even woke up a couple of the brothers to get a first hand account of it all, which wasn't well received.

In all the times I've visited Kim, stayed the night, I never learned her actual address. But as the numbers on Lotus Street rise up toward 56 the closer I get to her garage apartment, I wish I had.

I stop when I reach house number 54. A couple more steps and I'll be standing at the beginning of the long driveway that leads to the place where I've enjoyed myself more than I can remember ever enjoying myself with a woman. Or with anyone, for that matter.

All the information the brothers gave me this morning fits now. I can't pretend this is anything other than what it is.

The Sheriff's wife rarely leaves the house and their redheaded daughter lives above the garage. I knew it then, but I had to come here and make sure. One of the brothers even winked at me as he told me about the daughter, suggesting I take her for myself when this is done, since my obsession with redheads is a well-known thing in the MC. But what I feel for Kim goes beyond mere obsession.

I can't imagine not having her. I can't imagine looking her in the eyes after I kill her step-father.

I know all about the man and how he's the only reason she was able to leave her mother's side and have a life of her own. She told me all about how she was going crazy, crumbling under the pressure of holding everything together before he married her mother, and took some of the burden off her shoulders. She also told me he was currently involved in some dangerous work, which had her mother climbing the walls again. But she didn't tell me he was running for Sheriff. Why didn't she tell me that?

I suppose my reluctance to tell her much about myself made her wary of telling me too much about herself. Just one more way my lies came back to bite me. Not that it'd make much of a difference, if she had told me. I'd still fall in love with her. I think I fell in love with her while we were having that first drink together. But this is gonna be a problem.

I have no reason to think she'll be fine after we kill her step-father. Her life will be destroyed all over again when we do. And all I fucking want to do is keep her safe and make her happy.

But there's no way around it either. The MC is my job, my livelihood, my life. And I’ll have to destroy the life of the woman I love to keep it.