Tank

Kim just kept calling and calling, and texting all those damn painful questions I can't answer. No matter how many times I've said it in my head, and out loud in the dead of night, I still can't tell her it's over.

On Monday afternoon, we made all the plans on how we're getting rid of the Sheriff-to-be. But after another sleepless night I know only one thing. We're gonna have to change them again.

If Kim called just one more time last night I would've picked up and answered all her questions the way she wants them answered.

I can't live without her. Not yet, anyway. Not ever, I don't think. And I can't live with her, if I kill her step-father. It's real simple put that way. So there's only one thing to do. And if I fail, at least I tried, right?

But I can't do anything on my own. I need Cross to back me up. And even given our lifelong friendship, I don't know if he'll back me up in this.

"Got a second?" I ask him, as he walks out of the dining room on his way to his office.

He gives me a curious look like he's wondering if I've just been standing out here in the hall waiting for him to finish breakfast. I was.

"Sure, Tank," he says and proceeds to walk to his office.

"Let's take a walk," I suggest, since even the thick walls in this place have ears, and I think he'll want to keep what I have to say between us.

He looks at me suspiciously, but then shrugs and precedes me out the front door. I overtake him in the driveway and lead the way towards the side gate in the wall surrounding the property.

He's not talking, so I don't say anything either, as we walk through the gate and out into the trees.

I could be enjoying this crisp, spring morning with Kim. I want to enjoy many such mornings and evenings with her. But the obstacles are mountains. Possibly insurmountable.

"As much as I'm enjoying this brisk, early morning hike of ours, it's time for you to get to the point." Cross says once we're about half a mile from the wall.

He stopped so I stop too, and face him.

"It's not an easy thing to say, James," I tell him. I never call him by his real name anymore, Cross is his real name. Nowadays we tell people he earned it by killing enough people to fill a couple of cemeteries, but that's not how he first got it. He got it for making the sign of the cross over the first few men he killed way back in the beginning when we first joined Devil's Nightmare MC. Him being a preacher's son, it came naturally. I got my name back in junior high. I was a scrawny thing back then, but when a group of older guys tried to beat me up, I came at them with a force none of them expected. Like a tank. No one messed with me after that. I upgraded that meaning of my name over the years to mean nothing can stand in my way. No man, no obstacle. And Cross has been right there with me every step of the way. We rose through the MC ranks together, we've always done everything together. I hope that counts for something today.

"Then you better just say it, David," he replies, putting extra emphasis on my name to make a point of addressing me by it. But I detect the note of skepticism in his voice. He's right, I better just say it.

"I want the Sheriff to live," I say, and watch his eyes widen in shock. It's barely perceptible, since he has the perfect poker face, but I see it.

"Yeah, I'm gonna need you to tell me more," he says after a brief pause.

"You know the redhead I told you about?" I say. " Well, I love her and I want her step-father to live, so I can continue loving her."

He doesn't seem as shocked by hearing this as I expected him to be. "I heard talk about you slacking on the Sheriff job. And about why that might be."

"Roxie told you we spoke," I say. It wasn't really a question but he nods anyway.

"Of course she told me," he says. "And you shouldn't have bothered her with it. But I'm glad you came to me with this, before doing anything dumb on your own."

He knows me well. He knows I act first and ask forgiveness later.

"This thing is too important for that," I say.

He nods again. "You're damn right it is. The man has to go. We need a Sheriff we can control, especially now that the press is all over the Spawns killing."

At this point, I could tell him Kim's a journalist and that she wants to be all over the Spawns killing too, but I need him to agree to my plan, not make it harder for him to do so.

"We made all the plans yesterday," Cross says. "Have you made any new ones?"

"All will go as we planned it, but he doesn't die at the end," I say. "I'll just scare him into resigning."

I spent all night thinking up plans, and this is the best one I got. Cross doesn't seem to agree, judging by his narrowed eyes that are full of skepticism again.

"This guy doesn't scare easily," Cross says. "If he did, he'd have resigned long before now, when the Dogs first started threatening him."

I shrug. "I'm hoping a hard talking to in the torture room, along with showing him just how easily I can kill him, will make him reconsider."

Cross doesn't say anything for a long time. For too long. I haven't made any plans for if his answer is no. In all the years we've done things together, I never went against him. I doubt that would end well for me, despite our history. But I might have to try if he says no.

"If I fail, we can always kill him afterwards," I offer, grinning at him.

"Fine," Cross says, nodding thoughtfully. "I'll let you try this your way. You've never asked me for anything even remotely like this, so I know this is important to you. I'll handle the others, you just make sure you succeed. The last thing I need is a fucking mutiny, or any talk of failing at the jobs I take on."

"I won't fail," I assure him, even though we both know I very well might. "Thank you, James."

"You're my brother, David, as close to me as my own flesh and blood," he says. "But if you fail, the Sheriff dies. I need you to agree to that."

I nod and offer him my hand. "You have my word. I'll do it myself if I fail."

He shakes my hand, eying me sternly. I'll keep this promise. I've always kept all my promises to Cross. But I hope I don't fail.

"You and your redheads," he says as we're walking back to Sanctuary. "I swear each one turns out worse than the last. They always burn you one way or another. And this one might be the absolute worst."

“As you keep reminding me,” I say since that’s my standard reply when he brings this up. “But this one will be the last, there won't be any more after her."

And I plan on making good on that promise too. But I won't call Kim back until it's all done and I've succeeded.