CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
Blaze
“It’s too cold to get in that pool,” Whitney and Trevor’s mom, Mona, yells at Ryan as he dips his feet in the shallow end of the pool in their backyard.
It’s been hot all day, but as night falls this time of year, it usually gets cold.
“He’s gonna catch his death of cold,” she mumbles as she watches him not heed her warning.
“Whatever, it got up to ninety today and it’s almost April. Hell,” he takes a drink of the beer in his hand. “It’s damn near summer.”
I glance at Whitney, who shakes her head laughing when she sees Trevor making his way over to Ryan, sticking his feet in the pool too. I’m not sure what the two of them are talking about, but we’re rewarded with their deep laughs as they both throw their heads back. I love their friendship.
I’m holding Stella in my lap, facing outward so she can see all the goings on. In the past few weeks, she’s started to become more animated and to show a little bit of personality. She smiled at me the other day and I thought I’d break my face smiling back.
“Those two are always getting into trouble together,” Whitney looks back at her mom. “Do you want me to help you?”
“No, it means a lot that all of you came over for dinner tonight. I hate being here by myself when your dad’s workin’ through the week,” Mona sighs as she sets a platter of deviled eggs and a bowl of baked beans on the table in front of us. Those join a salad and what looks to be enough potato salad to feed all the guys at the EMS station and every member of the Moonshine Task Force.
“I’m ready for either one of you to grill,” she yells to the guys.
“I got this,” Trevor hops up, carrying his bottle of beer with him. Sitting it down on the table in front of me, he bends over to give first Stella a kiss on the cheek and then me a kiss on the lips. “Watch this Stell Bell, I’m gonna show your daddy how to cook a steak,” he tickles her stomach, smiling when she laughs back at him.
“Why don’t you hurry up? The rest of us are hungry,” I smack his ass as he makes his way around me.
“Perfection can’t be rushed,” he yells back. “Mom, is everything over here?”
“No, the steaks are marinating in the house, let me go get ‘em for you.”
“You stay there,” he’s already jogging for the house. “You did all this for us, let us do the rest.”
We all watch as he takes his place at the grill. I’m bouncing Stella on my knee, but I notice the rest of us are deep in thought. There’s something weighing heavy on my heart, and I have to tell these women what I’m thinking.
“Thank you for inviting us. I never had anything like this with my family,” I smile over at Mona. “It’s so weird for a kid like me, who basically grew up with servants making sure she had a little bit of love, to be in a situation like this. It used to make me uncomfortable, but you all make me feel kind of like I’m home,” I finish, praying I haven’t overstepped my boundaries with these friends of mine.
Whitney and her mom exchange a look, and it makes me even more nervous so I keep playing with Stella, trying to make it seem like their non-answer doesn’t hurt.
When I hear Mona talking, I glance up, shaken by what she says.
“You are family, honey. If Trevor loves you, that’s the only thing that matters to me. He’s a great judge of character,” she reaches over, grabbing my hand. “Not many women your age would have stuck by him when they saw what you did at the crash site. So many people nowadays are selfish, and they immediately think how much an injury like what he had would inconvenience them. You never did that. Geeze Pete, you took time off from your job to help him recover. I couldn’t think of a better woman for my son.”
I’m trying to push back tears. I had absolutely no idea Mona felt this way about me, and it touches a place deep inside that’s never been touched. Burying my face in Stella’s head, I surround myself with the scent of baby. “Thank you.”
Those are the only words I can push past my tight throat, and I can’t help but think I’ve finally found the place I belong.
Tank
“You okay?”
Blaze and I are cuddled up on one of the pool loungers, both full from the food we ate. The night has turned off a bit chilly, and I curl a blanket around us that Renegade brought over not too long ago. She’s been quiet for a while, and I’m worried someone’s upset her.
“I’m good,” she gives me a sleepy smile.
“You’ve been quiet since I started grilling. Was my food not good?” I tilt her chin with my index finger, forcing her eyes to meet mine.
She stretches against me, shaking her head. “No, everything was great. Your mom said something to me and it kind of shocked me. She welcomed me to the family.”
I love my mom, she always knows the right things to say. “That means she likes you, and she’s right. You’re totally a part of this family now.”
“It felt good, but weird at the same time. You saw how my mom is and what my life was like. Your mom is amazing and to know she approves of me in your life gave me a sense of belonging I didn’t know I needed.”
I lean in, pouring every bit of feeling, of love, of how much I need this woman into the kiss I give her. Coaxing open her lips, I kiss her with an unrestrained passion I’d normally save for behind closed doors, but it’s a must right now. Pulling away, I press my forehead against hers, enclosing us in our own cocoon. My voice is just above a whisper. “Don’t you know, Blaze? You’ve belonged to me since the first moment I saw you. You’ve owned me from the first moment I tasted you.”
She hugs me tightly, and for the longest time I think she’s not going to say anything, but then she pulls back. “I’ve always been scared to completely let my emotional walls down with you, Trevor. I can be sexual any day of the week, and I know you’re good with that, but sometimes I do that to hide how I feel. After telling you about Annabelle, I think I’ve started to let go of some of the walls and guards I’ve had up.”
“You never have to hide your true self from me, if there’s one thing you should know about me by now it’s I love all of you. Not just the good and easy parts, but the ones that force me to dig a little deeper. I lost you once, Blaze, I’m not going to be a dumbass and lose you again,” I frame her face with my hands. “No one else would have taken care of me the way you do, no one else would have put their lives on hold to be by my side. You saved me, and you changed me. I love you more than I could ever tell you, express to you, or show you. So I’ll just spend the rest of my life trying to become worthy.”
She sniffles, her green eyes wet, eyelashes incredibly long with tears spiking the ends. “I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to become worthy of you, because everything you said, is exactly how I feel, too.”
There, underneath a clear Alabama sky, holding the woman who changed my life, I’m not worried about the future, because I know we’re gonna make it.