Chapter Fourteen
Evie woke with a wall of hard heat behind her and a large, calloused hand curled possessively around one breast. Memories of the night washed over her and she felt herself growing warm and wet as she remembered the things Tanner had done to her.
A change in his breathing told her he was awake and she shifted her head so she could look over her shoulder, determined to face whatever morning-after weirdness there might be head on.
“Good morning,” she said.
“Agreed,” Tanner said, and the lazy smile on his lips went a long way to loosening the tension in her shoulders.
So, no regret this morning. Thank God, because it had been so wonderful, so insanely good being back in his arms, being able to hold him close and take his body in hers… She wasn’t sure she would have been able to accept a rejection from him today. Not gracefully or with dignity, anyway.
There was something else they needed to cover off, however. Rolling within the circle of his arms so she was facing him, she slid her arm around his neck.
“So, last night, we kind of forgot to use a condom, but I want you to know I’m on the pill, and that I’m always careful. So there’s nothing to worry about,” she said.
She felt him tense for a split second, then he leaned forward and kissed her.
“I’m sorry for not thinking about it—”
She pressed her fingers to his lips, halting his apology. “Wasn’t looking for a mea culpa. It takes two to tango, in case you forgot. Just wanted to tick the box and cover it off.”
“I’m careful, too. I don’t sleep around on the tour, like some of the other guys. That stuff got old for me years ago.”
“Good. Problem solved. Next subject,” she said happily, settling into his embrace more fully.
His beard was really growing in now, with four days’ worth of growth darkening his jaw. She tested its glossy strength with her fingertips, shivering a little as she remembered the way he’d teased her with it last night.
“I can shave this for you today if you like,” she said.
“Don’t you like it?” he asked.
“I like it plenty, don’t worry. But you’re normally clean-shaven, and I thought you might prefer it that way.”
“Not sure I should trust my good looks to you.”
“Just for that, I’m not going to go gentle on you,” she said.
“Gentle on me for what?”
She responded by sliding her leg over his and reaching for the hard length of his erection. Despite what she’d said, she took it slowly, his injury top of mind. Watching his body beneath hers in the dawn light was a decadent, delicious experience—the flex of his belly muscles, the white of his teeth as he began to pant, the sharp rise and fall of his chest as he raced toward climax. She wasn’t far behind him when he came, and afterward she kissed him soundly and then dismounted with an alacrity that caused him to grasp her wrist before she could pull away.
“Where are you going?” he asked, his head turned toward her even though he couldn’t see.
“To start the shower and find your razor,” she told him.
“Not sure I agreed to be shaved,” he said.
She reached out to pat his cheek lightly. “It’s cute you think that.”
He laughed and she slipped away from him and went to start the shower. When the water was hot enough, she led him into the stall and used the handheld spray to wash him without getting his bandages wet.
“Looking forward to these things coming off tomorrow,” he said as she chased soap suds across his chest with the spray.
“I guess that means I don’t get to do this again, huh?” she said.
She slid a soapy hand between his legs and he laughed.
“You can do that anytime, darlin’.”
She patted him dry after the shower, then fetched the chair from the corner of his room and sat him in it while she prepared to shave him.
He talked her through his usual method, and she took tentative passes at his face, growing more confident with each stroke of the razor. Part way through, Tanner pulled her onto his lap, and she wound up straddling him as she scraped the whiskers from his face. When his face was smooth and bristle-free, she pressed a kiss to his lips.
“Mmmm. Nice and smooth,” she said.
Tanner opened his mouth beneath hers, inviting her to reciprocate, and she was about to take him up on it when a knock sounded on the bedroom door.
“Morning, Tanner. I came across to organize breakfast. Any idea where Evie is? She’s not in her room,” Helen called.
“I’ve got some idea,” Tanner said, his lips twitching into a smile, and Evie pressed her face into his shoulder to smother her laughter.
There was a long pause before Helen responded. “Then I guess I’ll see you both in the kitchen in twenty minutes for waffles and syrup.”
Evie slipped off his lap as she heard the other woman walk back up the hallway.
“You’re the worst,” she said, her tone light.
“That’s not what you said last night.”
“Last night I was out of my mind.”
She laid out clothes for him before tiptoeing up the hall to collect clothes for herself. She could hear Helen singing to herself in the kitchen and decided to duck out to talk to her before Tanner joined them, just in case it was awkward.
Helen’s warm smile killed any concern Evie had on arrival, however, the other woman pouring Evie a cup of coffee and explaining that the maple syrup came from her cousin’s farm in upstate Vermont. When Evie heard Tanner’s footsteps in the hallway, she went to collect him, leading him to the dining table.
She was aware of Helen watching their interactions, listening to her and Tanner’s banter as he got settled and Evie brought him food. When the meal was over, Helen stole a moment to have a quiet word with her.
“I’m thinking Project Not Going Today is a go?” she asked quietly.
Evie gave her a big grin and two thumbs up and Helen nodded her approval.
Tanner’s injury meant there weren’t many options for entertainment for the rest of the day. They went for a walk to the horse barn, where Tanner touched base with Johnny and discussed Clementine’s condition. Evie ran her eye over the mare again but couldn’t see any significant change. She noted with approval that Johnny had fresh straw at the ready to lay down, along with towels, sterile gloves and antiseptic. Given that most mares foaled in the quiet of the night and early morning, it was wise to have a foaling kit at the ready to avoid panic at the last minute.
After their walk, they lounged in the living room and did crosswords, Evie reading the clues out loud, the two of them debating the merit of possible answers. Helen brought soup and fresh-baked bread for lunch, after which Evie insisted Tanner try to get some sleep, since he’d had so little during the night. She set him up with a pillow on the couch, but he refused to settle without her so she wound up curled against his chest, breathing in the smell of clean man and sun-dried clothes as she dozed.
Johnny came to ask a couple of business questions later in the afternoon, and the two men disappeared into Tanner’s study. Evie took the opportunity to send a quick email home to assure her parents she was alive and well. They had no idea she was over here in the States, obviously, and even though the reasons she’d had for withholding that information were no longer valid, she decided to leave explanations for later and simply let them know she was happy and well before asking after them. She could fill them in on her adventures—most of them, anyway—when she came home.
Helen delivered a chicken casserole for dinner, along with creamy mashed potatoes and homemade cornbread that made Evie moan with happiness and approval. She and Tanner did another crossword together before cuddling together on the couch talking about favorite movies, places they’d been and places they’d like to see.
Tanner was the one who took her hand and led the way to his bedroom. It was where she’d planned on sleeping anyway, but it was nice to know they were on the same page at last.
The next morning, she woke to find him lying beside her, arms crossed behind his head. If he could see, she knew he’d be staring at the ceiling, and when she laid a hand on his chest she could tell he was wound up.
“You thinking about the doctor’s visit?” she asked.
“Yeah.”
“Whatever happens, you’ll work it out,” she said.
“I know. I just… I want it over.”
“I bet. It’s been a long few days. And nights.” She slid her hand from his chest onto his belly, heading south. It was a cheap trick, but she wasn’t above deploying it to provide him with a much-needed distraction.
His cock thickened beneath her touch almost instantly, and then he was rolling toward her and neither of them thought about his doctor’s appointment for the next hour.
By the time they were done with each other, breakfast and showers, it was suddenly time to get in the truck and drive into town to see Tanner’s local doctor. Johnny brought the vehicle around to the front door, and even though he offered to drive, Evie waved him off. After two days of solid wrong-side-of-the-road experience, she felt like a pro. And she had Tanner beside her to give her directions to Canon City, where his GP was located.
It only took them twenty minutes to reach the outskirts of town and Evie narrowed her eyes as a large “Welcome to” sign flashed by.
“Did I read that right? Corrections capital of the world?” she asked.
“Nine state and four federal prisons,” Tanner said dryly.
“Wow. You’d better hope there’s not some kind of mass prison break-out because your ranch is gone.”
He smiled, but his fingers were drumming on his knee and she knew his mind was elsewhere. He had every right to be nervous. This was an important and loaded consultation with his doctor, the outcome of which could change his life, one way or another. She sent up a little prayer to the universe as she pulled into the parking lot beside a modern-looking medical clinic.
Please let him be able to see. Please don’t take that from him, too.
He would cope and adapt if there was a problem. He was a determined, resourceful man, and he’d still have sight in one eye. He’d rise to the occasion. But it would be better if he didn’t have to, and that’s what she wanted for him.
As was becoming their habit, he got out and made his own way to the front of the truck. She took his hand and gave him a quick rundown on the course ahead, then guided him into the clinic.
“Okay, counter to the left, waiting room to the right,” she murmured as she steered them over the threshold.
She led Tanner to a seat and was aware of the interest of the other patients as they settled. A woman with a small baby stared openly, not even bothering to disguise her curiosity, while a middle-aged man in a cowboy hat and a genuine string tie looked once, then twice, then sat with a furrowed brow. With the huge rise in popularity in pro bull riding, riders like Tanner were becoming household names and Evie could almost hear the man’s brain whirring away, trying to work out where he knew Tanner from.
“I’m just going to let the receptionist know we’re here,” she told Tanner.
He nodded, and she hustled to the desk, aware that Tanner must be feeling disoriented and extra-vulnerable, being out in an unfamiliar, public place after a couple of days of the known territory of home.
“Tanner Harding, to see Dr. Slater,” Evie said quietly.
“Of course. The doctor will be with you in a moment,” the nurse said.
Evie sat next to Tanner and wove her fingers with his. She could feel her own anxious heartbeat in the pit of her stomach and she took a deep breath to try to steady herself. Tanner squeezed her hand, turning his head toward her.
“You okay?” he asked.
She huffed out a laugh. “Isn’t that supposed to be my line?”
He simply squeezed her hand again, then raised it to his lips and pressed a kiss to her knuckles. Out of the corner of her eye she glimpsed a flash of white and she realized a tall, thin man was standing there, a stethoscope dangling around his neck.
“Mr. Harding? Please come through,” he said.
Evie leapt to her feet, almost sick with nerves now.
Please, please, please.
Together she and Tanner followed the doctor down a short hallway and into a treatment room.
Once they were settled in seats beside the doctor’s desk, he smiled at them.
“So, Tanner, how has your pain been? Any headaches? Anything else you want to mention?”
“Nothing I can’t handle in the headache department. My eye was sore the first day or two but that’s died down. I’ve had trouble sleeping, but that happened last time I had a concussion and I know it’ll pass,” he said.
Evie frowned. It had never occurred to her before that Tanner had had prior concussions. Another thing to worry about.
Dr. Slater was nodding. “We’ll keep an eye on that, okay? If you find you’re still struggling in another week, come back in and we’ll send you off for some tests.” He turned and checked something on the computer monitor in the corner of his desk. “I’ve had a letter from Dr. Collins, your ophthalmologist, with full instructions. So, let’s not keep you in suspense any longer than we have to.”
The doctor stood and went across to angle the blades on the blinds covering the window before crossing to the light switch.
“You’re going to be light sensitive for a while, possibly a few days. Dr. Collins said he told you to bring a pair of sunglasses?” the doctor asked.
“Evie’s got them,” Tanner confirmed.
With the overhead fixture off, the only illumination in the room was what natural light was leaking around the edges of the blind, leaving the room dim but not unfeasibly dark for what the doctor was about to do.
Evie reminded herself to breathe as the doctor used a pair of blunt-ended scissors to cut through the bandages masking Tanner’s eyes. As they fell away, the gauze pads that had been taped over both eyes were revealed.
“Let’s take care of your good eye first,” the doctor said, releasing the tape holding the pad over Tanner’s right eye in place. After a second’s hesitation, Tanner’s eye opened, and Evie couldn’t stop herself from smiling as he blinked a couple of times and then met her gaze for the first time since the accident.
“Hi,” she said.
He smiled faintly.
“And behind door number two…” the doctor said, starting to peel away the tape protecting Tanner’s injured eye. There was a dressing beneath the pad, unsurprisingly, and Evie’s stomach squirmed when she saw it was spotted with blood. The doctor eased the dressing away from Tanner’s eye, and Evie swallowed as she saw the elaborate bruising shading his eye socket, temple and cheekbone. The purple and yellow bruising was mottled and painful-looking, not to mention swollen.
“Give me a second, I’m going to give you a quick clean to make life a bit easier,” the doctor said, reaching for a sterile kidney dish he had sitting at the ready. After washing his hands, the doctor swabbed Tanner’s eye and surrounding skin with gentle strokes.
“All right. That’s looking good now,” Dr. Slater said. “Ready when you are.”
Tanner’s eyelid flickered, then slowly opened half an inch. His eyelashes were wet with tears, and Evie winced as she saw how bloodshot and red his eye was.
“Okay, let’s get some drops in there to make you comfortable,” the doctor said. “These will give you pain relief for up to half an hour, and I’ll be sending some home with you, along with some other drops to cover infection.”
Tanner tilted his head back as drops were applied and Evie could feel him relax as the anesthetic kicked in.
“Okay, let’s take a look in there,” the doctor said.
Sitting on his wheeled chair, he came in close, getting right up in Tanner’s face as he slowly scanned the inside of Tanner’s eye with a handheld instrument.
“It’s looking good in there, very good. A bit of free-floating blood, which will be absorbed along with the saline as your body recovers,” he said.
Wheeling away from Tanner, he held up three fingers. “How many fingers?”
Tanner blinked a few times to clear his eye. It was obvious he was having trouble holding it open, but he frowned in concentration as he focused on the doctor.
“Three.”
“Great. And now?” The doctor held all five fingers upright.
“Five.”
“And now?” Just a single finger.
“One.”
Evie barely restrained herself from giving Tanner a round of applause, but she couldn’t keep the smile off her face. She knew it wasn’t a definitive test, but it was a bloody good start.
“Fantastic,” Dr. Slater said. “I’m going to give you an A for effort. We’ll run you through some more tests in a few days’ time, but for now, you are looking good. Now, let me walk you through your eye drop regime…”
They spent another ten minutes with the doctor as he answered Tanner’s questions and explained what to expect over the next few days, then Evie slipped Tanner’s sunglasses over his ears. She’d become so used to being his eyes, she automatically reached for his elbow as they stood to leave the room, then caught herself.
“I’ve got this,” Tanner said, and she glanced across to see he was smiling at her.
“You sure have,” she said, matching his smile.
She stayed by his side, however, because Dr. Slater had explained he might have issues with depth perception. They paid for his consultation, then stepped out into the cool, bright day. Tanner immediately lifted a hand to shade his bad eye, ducking away from the sunlight even though he had his sunglasses on.
“You’re like a vampire,” Evie said as they walked across to the car.
“Feel like one, too. Man, that’s so bright,” he said.
“Maybe keep your eyes shut on the way home, and we can acclimatize you over a few hours.”
“Is that what you’d tell a dairy cow who came to you for advice?” he asked, his tone playful.
It was so good to have him teasing her, to hear the lightness in his voice. To know that some of the worry he’d been carrying had just been lifted.
“Little-known fact, dairy cows are notoriously anti-vet,” Evie said straight-faced. “It’s almost impossible to get them to make an appointment. As for regular checkups? Forget about it.”
His gaze was warm as he looked at her. “Huh. I didn’t know that.”
“Oh, I’m full of that kind of bullshit, Harding. Just you wait.”
That got a laugh out of him, and Evie was feeling lighter than air as she started the truck and headed back to the ranch.
Johnny B and Helen came out of their house and walked across to meet the car as Evie drove down the long driveway, just as they had when she and Tanner arrived two days ago. She could see the concern and tension on their faces as they waited to hear about Tanner’s visit and she glanced at him, wondering if he understood how much these people valued and cared for him.
“Look at those sad sacks,” he said. “You’d think I had one foot in the grave.”
“How dare they,” Evie agreed. “It’s almost like they care about you. Outrageous.”
His mouth twisted, then he lifted a hand, rewarding his friends with a wave.
She parked in front of the house and Tanner exited the car.
“All good,” were his first words, and Evie sat behind the wheel and watched him talking to Helen and Johnny B, smiling when she saw their relieved faces. Helen threw her arms around Tanner, giving him a huge hug, and Johnny clapped him on the back a number of times, the cowboy’s version of an effusive emotional display. Helen turned to Evie when she slid out of the car, her face still lit up with relief and happiness.
“We’re celebrating tonight, whether you two want to or not. I’m making something special and Johnny and I are coming up to the big house to join you love birds.”
“Sounds great,” Evie said, glancing at Tanner.
His smile was a little more rueful and she guessed he still wasn’t feeling at his social best. She made a promise to herself that she’d keep an eye on his fatigue levels and intervene if he looked as though he was fading.
Leaving him talking with his friends, she went inside and started drawing curtains and closing blinds. She was pulling the final drape across the front window when Tanner entered.
“Thanks,” he said when he saw what she was doing.
He slid off his sunglasses and looked around, and she swallowed a lump of emotion at the look on his face. Relief and gratitude and caution in equal measure.
“How are you doing?” she asked.
She half expected him to shrug her off, but he surprised her by pausing to think for a beat.
“Honestly? I spent so much time preparing myself for the worst so it wouldn’t be a blow if things didn’t work out, it feels weird to be standing here, looking at you and knowing it’s going to be okay.”
“Well, I told you it was going to be okay. Should have listened to me right from the start, cowboy,” she said, blinking back the tears that sprang to her eyes.
“Guess I should have,” he said.
He lifted an arm, inviting her close, and she didn’t need to be asked twice, crossing the room and sliding into his embrace. As usual, the feel of his hard body against hers made her blood heat, but it was the way he wrapped his arms around her and rested his chin on the crown of her head that made her heart swell. For a moment they simply held one another, thinking their separate thoughts. He ducked his head and pressed a kiss to her lips before releasing her.
“You should get some rest now you don’t have to be my babysitter all the time. Or saddle up one of the horses, check out the spread.”
“What are you going to do?” she asked.
“First up I’m going to shower and wash my hair,” he said, lifting a hand to hair that hadn’t seen water for four days. “Then I’ve got some calls to make.”
“Promise you won’t work too hard,” she said, frowning.
He was such a bloody stoic, used to carrying injuries into the arena and toughing it out. It would be just like him to try and power through eye strain and headaches with pure willpower, even though it was his first day testing his bad eye.
“Tell you what, if you agree to meet me back here at three, I’ll agree to lie down for a couple of hours before dinner.”
His wide, suggestive grin was a dead give away for what he had in mind for those couple of hours.
“Deal,” she said, reaching out to shake his hand.
She watched as he walked to the hallway, quietly thrilled to see the confidence in his stride. Tanner was back. Not quite up to full throttle yet, but something told her it wouldn’t take long for him to get there.
By the time she flew home in less than a week, he’d be back to his old self.
The thought wiped the smile from her face and she turned toward the door. There was no point getting prematurely maudlin about something that was going to happen whether she liked it or not. What was happening between them might be intense, it might make her heart ache when she let herself think about it too much, but it was self-limiting, and always had been. They had separate lives, in separate countries. End of discussion.
She headed for the horse barn and was pleased to see Johnny B standing at the end stall, checking on Clementine.
“Hey there. Tanner sent me out here with the suggestion I take a ride around the ranch,” she said.
“Great day for it. Let me bring in Whiskey and saddle him up for you.”
Evie went out to the fenced paddock behind the barn and watched as Johnny whistled the horses over, singling out a dappled white and chestnut stallion from the herd. Ten minutes later, she was in the saddle, heading south, with instructions from Johnny to ride to the foothills of the nearby mountains, then cut west until she came to the creek that formed one border of Tanner’s property.
It felt so good to be in the saddle with the sun on her face and the wind in her hair, Evie couldn’t get the smile off her face for the first fifteen minutes. Once she and Whiskey had the measure of each other, she let the stallion have his head and soon they were racing across open ground. After a while she slowed the horse to a walk, leaning forward to pat his neck and praise him. He was beautifully trained, strong and powerful, and she could understand why Tanner had chosen to breed Colorado Rangers.
She spent a couple of hours exploring Tanner’s land before returning to the house feeling windblown and content. He had a great spread here, with so much potential. Especially now he’d be devoting himself to it full time.
Johnny gave her an approving nod as she led the horse into the barn and rubbed Whiskey down before getting him some feed.
“Looks like that hit the spot,” Johnny observed.
“Yeah. Sometimes you just need a bit of open space,” Evie said with a smile. Especially when you’d grown up on the broad plains of rural Australia like she had, a place of endless blue skies, red dust and low-lying scrub.
She found Tanner in his study when she returned to the house, and she stopped in the doorway, watching him read something on the computer screen.
“How’s your inbox?” she asked.
“Unbelievable,” he said with a disgusted shake of his head. “Everyone from insurance people to journalists want a piece of me.”
He was wearing a pair of sweatpants and a hooded top with the AEBR logo across the front. His freshly washed dark hair flopped across his forehead; his feet were bare. The need to go to him, to touch him, made her curl her fingers around the door frame.
How on earth was she going to give him up?
The thought triggered a rush of anxiety and she gave herself a mental slap.
Stop borrowing trouble. Enjoy what you’ve got while you’ve got it, and forget about the rest.
Because she had no choice but to follow the advice her sensible, pragmatic self was offering, she went to Tanner and took his hand and slid it beneath the hem of her long-sleeved T-shirt. If she only had this time with him, she was going to make every second count.
His mouth curved into a smile and his gray eyes grew warm as he shifted his focus from the computer to her.
“You trying to drop a hint, darlin’?” he asked.
“What do you think?”
They barely made it to the bedroom, and when they did Tanner took charge, showing her in more ways than one that he was back to his old self.
They managed to doze a little before dressing and heading out to the living room to set the table for four. Evie kept stealing little glances at Tanner as they worked side by side, setting out place mats and glasses. This felt…homey. Like something she could get used to. She could imagine more evenings like this—friends coming over, a shared meal, the two of them tidying up afterward and then going to bed.
Never going to happen. Stop torturing yourself.
Such good advice. If only she could turn off the part of her brain that wanted more. More Tanner, more time, more of the expansive, hopeful feeling that gripped her when she was with him.
Tanner moved past her, resting his hand lightly on the small of her back, a simple, uncomplicated gesture of affection. Evie followed him with her eyes as he crossed to the fridge, her chest swelling with all the things she wanted to say, even though she knew she shouldn’t.
For a moment it seemed that the words would simply tumble out of their own accord, too important and impassioned to stop. Then she took a deep breath and found her self-control again.
Turning back to the table, she concentrated on the task at hand.