We woke to hazy sunshine filtering in through dusty windows and for a moment, I forgot about my discovery and how cold Gage had been.

I stretched, my muscles reminding me quickly how busy we’d been, and I smiled sleepily before I could stop myself.

“I could spend the rest of my life waking up to that smile.”

The murmured admission startled me, especially given how things had ended only hours ago. I turned to find Gage watching me with something akin to yearning.

I didn’t respond — I didn’t know what to say — but Gage didn’t give me a chance. Instead, he climbed from the bed and strode naked to the bathroom, shutting the door behind him.

Listening to him pee was strangely more intimate than all the sexual acts we’d done in the last twenty-four hours. A smile found my lips at the odd thought.

Unbidden, a memory jumped out at me. I’d gone to a school with a Donnelly. I wondered if it was a common name. Although, I didn’t remember much more about the kid aside from the name.

When Gage returned, I followed his lead. I didn’t want to pick a fight this morning. There was something about Gage’s murmured admission that kept coming back to me. His admission had been real — a glimpse into the true Gage, the person he didn’t want anyone to know.

How could I get him to open up to me when he was so determined to push me away?

But maybe the bigger question was, did I want him to open up? Was I willing to be his ride or die? We didn’t even know each other. Was I willing to throw back the curtain and see who was pulling the strings?

I was scared of the implication, the responsibility. Clearly, the guy had issues, right? I had my own baggage. Did I want to take on his, too?

But even as I questioned myself, I knew the answer — yes.

The simplicity shocked me.

Everything was out of whack, why not my own feelings?

Gage pulled on a pair of boxer briefs and inquired, “Coffee?” before he headed for the kitchen. I slipped on his t-shirt and padded after him.

He made a quick pot of coffee and I was grateful for a cup. We sipped our coffee in silence, my guess, we were both processing.

I braved the threat of his abrupt silence to ask, “Why did you say that to me?”

His mouth firmed as he held his mug to his lips, hesitating. He lowered his mug to answer with the shake of his head. “I don’t know.”

“Did you mean it?”

The long pause sent a knife through my heart but he surprised me with a nod. “Fuck, Mari. I shouldn’t have said that. I’m sorry.”

I lowered my mug. “What’s happening between us, Gage?” I asked. “I know you feel something, too.”

He seemed frustrated with my observation, shaking his head. “Don’t do this,” he warned.

“There’s something you should know about me,” I told him, bracing myself against the countertop as I pinned his gaze. “I hate mysteries and you’ve set yourself up as one big question since walking into my bar. I will figure you out, whether it’s now or later, but it will happen.”

He barked a derisive laugh. “Oh, really? And why would you want to figure me out?”

“I don’t know,” I answered but that wasn’t entirely true, I was just embarrassed to admit the truth because it seemed ludicrous. “I just want to.”

But damn Gage for being too perceptive. “Are you saying you’ve caught feelings?” he mocked, causing my cheeks to flush. “You wouldn’t even have a drink with me until I paid you. That’s not exactly a glowing endorsement for true emotion.”

“I wouldn’t have a drink with anyone because I was still hating myself over what’d happened with Landon. I would’ve turned down Channing Tatum.”

But Gage didn’t believe me. I guess I could understand his point. The money had been the catalyst and I couldn’t deny it.

“It doesn’t matter,” he said, waving away my explanation. “I’m not in the market for a girlfriend so let’s drop it.”

I wasn’t going to let it go. “Just tell me…why me?”

Irritation sharpened his voice. “Because I liked your ass. I already told you that.” I might’ve bought his excuse before, but not now. When I held his gaze, daring him to cling to the lie, he growled, “What the fuck is this? I don’t have to explain my reasons. I wanted to fuck you. It’s nothing deeper than that. Leave it, Mari.”

“I know you’re not telling me something,” I pressed, following him. “Are you afraid that I won’t understand? Give me a chance, Gage. I’ve been hurt, too. I’m willing to listen.”

His cold smirk cut me. “Baby, don’t flatter yourself. I’ve had better therapists than you try to dig into this head and failed. I’m not in a sharing mood, okay? Get your stuff together, the driver will be here in a half-hour.”

And just like that, an iron curtain slammed down between us.

Maybe I should be grateful. Why was I pushing so hard for answers that I probably wouldn’t like?

What if he was telling the truth and he really did pick me up on a whim because he liked my ass?

I swallowed the sudden lump in my throat, hating how cheap and disposable Gage had made me feel.

Everything about Gage raised questions but the one thing that was solid was the way I felt when wrapped around him.

I wasn’t the kind of person to spout love poetry or go on meme hunts for sappy love quotes but he created those feelings in me as if he’d simply been the key needed to unlock the warm and fuzzies.

Did I want that? Did I want to open myself to someone like Gage with the way he was acting?

God no.

Maybe this was a blessing. Just go home, forget this ever happened. Focus on putting your life back together.

Was that even possible?

I guess I would find out.