Chapter Five
Kade
In the past month, I’d learned a lot about pregnant women—more than I thought I’d ever want to know. I’d done a lot of reading on line, I’d bought magazines and books from Leah’s bookstore, and I’d watched videos. I’d also had first-hand experience, watching Leah deal with her body’s new dimensions and demands.
One thing I knew was that pregnant chicks needed a lot of sleep. They could drop off at a moment’s notice, including while they were eating, in the middle of a sentence, or apparently, right after sex. I made this last observation as I lay next to Leah in her bed, watching her sleep after we’d made love.
The setting sun was sending brilliant final rays across her room, illuminating her blonde hair and making her translucent skin glow. I stared at her face, fascinated; her eyes were closed, the lashes sweeping over her cheekbones, and her mouth was relaxed, the lips slightly parted as her deep, even breath flowed in and out. She’d tugged the sheet up to her hip before dropping off, but her tits were still bare, rising and falling in time with her breathing. They really were enormous, but only in the most sensual way. Her nipples were wider and darker, and I’d noticed how much more sensitive they were. I was pretty sure I could’ve made her come only by sucking her sweet tits.
Below her breasts, her belly was hard, with tight skin. Even as I watched, it rippled and shifted as the baby within her turned, moved and kicked. I spread my hand over Leah’s bump, resting it there. The rippling slowed, and I hoped it was because my daughter knew I was close. I hoped that on some level of consciousness, she knew that her parents already loved her . . . and each other.
I sighed and tucked an errant strand of hair behind Leah’s ear. I’d never been a guy who bought into love at first sight. I still wasn’t a believer, to be honest, but I had begun to believe that fate was real. When I thought about the minuscule chance there’d been that seven months before, Leah and I would have sex, use protection and yet still manage to get pregnant, it shook me up. The idea that if one of my swimmers hadn’t gotten past the goalie and collided with her egg, I might never have seen her again made me downright nauseated.
This girl . . . this woman . . . the mother of my child . . . in the span of four weeks, she’d become the sum of my world. She was the first thing I thought about when my alarm went off in the morning and the last thing I thought about at night before sleep overtook me. Each day, I couldn’t wait to see her again. And it wasn’t purely a physical attraction, although we had that, for sure. We talked for hours, we shared our backgrounds, our interests and our hopes for the future.
Leah had told me about growing up in the foster care system, about parents who’d abandoned her when she was a toddler. She’d shared horror stories that she’d told with an ironically humorous twist, and I knew it was so that I wouldn’t feel sorry for her. She’d confided in me about her lonely college years, working two jobs and taking extra classes to finish early so that she’d be able to earn her degree before her scholarship ran out.
In turn, I’d told her about growing up on the beaches of SoCal, with two doting parents and an adoring younger sister. I’d choked up when we talked about my dad dying suddenly of a heart attack when I was a junior in college. I’d shared my plans to retire after I put in my twenty years in the in the Army, and I’d shown her pictures of the farm I’d bought up in Minnesota, not far from my cousins, where I hoped to rebuild and restore classic autos.
She didn’t have many friends to speak of, outside of Cassie, who was more of an acquaintance, but she told me stories about her co-workers and her classmates. I made her laugh when I described the antics of my fellow company commanders and some of the guys in my platoon. I couldn’t wait for her to meet them all.
Leah had already met my mom and my sister via video chat. She’d given me permission to tell them that we were having a baby, and I had a hunch that she’d been pleasantly surprised at their excitement and joy. My mom was already making noises about coming out to Virginia when the baby was born, and Leah seemed okay with that.
She moaned a little in her sleep now, her lips curving into a small secret smile. Her hands shifted to brush over her boobs, making her nipples go turgid and hard again. My dick began to stiffen.
Leah rolled onto her back, resting the back of one arm over her forehead. I couldn’t resist bracing myself up over her and covering one perfect nipple with my mouth, sucking with quiet precision while fingers circled the other one.
“Mmmmmm.” She hummed, but her eyes stayed closed and her face relaxed. I knew I should have let it go at that, but the pulsing beat between my legs wouldn’t let me. Slowly, I slid the sheet lower and lower, until the tops of her legs and that enticing pussy were bared to my view.
I hadn’t really gotten a chance to enjoy her the first time. Oh, yeah, I’d had a great time, and I’d come hard, thrusting up into her tight grip as she rode me after she’d sucked me nearly to oblivion. But I hadn’t been able to drive her absolutely fucking wild, the way I wanted to do.
Easing her legs a little further apart, I settled myself between her creamy thighs. She kept herself shaved close, and it only took one questing finger to part those silken folds. She was wet . . . God, she was so fucking wet. I nearly shot my load at the sight of her sex, pretty, pink, swollen and slick. With that same finger, I circled her clit, rewarded by her sharp intake of breath. Emboldened, I lowered my mouth to take the small bundle of nerves between my lips, suckling and then stroking with the tip of my tongue.
“Kade . . .” Leah’s voice sounded drugged with sleep. “God, oh my God.”
“Just relax, babe.” I licked her all the way up, and she raised her hips, pushing her center further against my face. Her hands found my head, and her fingers threaded through the short hairs on my head, holding on tight.
Her breath was coming in short pants as she chanted my name in the midst of several other nonsense words. Finally, when I was sure she was teetering on the edge of insanity, I thrust two fingers into her and pressed my tongue against her clit at the same time.
Leah screamed, and it was my name on her lips as she came hard against my mouth. I stayed with her, kissing, licking and stroking, until her hand clumsily pushed me away.
“Too much. Oh, my God, Kade.” She grabbed my hand and placed it on her belly. “See what you did? Again?”
I chuckled and dropped a gentle kiss onto the rise of her bump. “It’s like a little hug for the baby every time you come, baby.”
“Hmmmm.” She smiled, but her eyes stayed closed.
I crawled back up to lay next to her. “I was doing a little more reading while you dozed. Did you know that when you get to the end of your pregnancy, one of the best ways to induce labor is by having sex?”
Leah opened one eyes and stared at me. “You think when I’m nine months pregnant, looking and feeling like a beached whale, that having sex is going to be the first thing on my mind?”
“If you’re overdue and ready to pop, yeah, I think you’ll be okay with it.” I kissed her lips, teasing my tongue against her mouth until she opened for me. “By that point, you might be begging me to make love to you.”
One side of her mouth curved into a smile. “You might have something there. It definitely sounds better than induction.”
“Thanks, I think.” I raked my fingers through her hair, letting the strands sift over my skin. “Leah, you’ll come back with me, right? You’ll move down to Fort Lee with me? Please say yes. I can’t leave you behind. It would fucking kill me, babe.”
She opened her eyes and stared at me. For one horrible moment, I thought she was going to tell me no.
And then she smiled, her green eyes filling with light and hope and something I could almost believe was love. She laid one hand against the side of my face.
“How could I ever say anything but yes, Kade?”
* * *
I spent the following day floating on air. I’d stayed that night with Leah, reveling in holding her in my arms as she fell asleep and feeling the baby move between us as we cuddled in the early morning hours. I’d set my alarm early enough to get back to the barracks and into the bathroom before the rest of the guys were even awake; although I was sure Eric probably suspected that I hadn’t slept in my bed, it was none of his damn business.
The next night, I insisted on taking Leah out to dinner. It was one of her longer days, when she had classes in the morning and then worked at the bookstore until seven, and I knew that by the time she got off work, she would be famished. I met her at the mall, and we drove together to a nearby diner.
She was lighter nowadays, happier, more open and willing to talk to me about everything happening in her life. She chattered away as we drove, and I was content to listen to her talk about her classes and the customers at the store.
“I told my boss at the bookstore today that I was giving two weeks’ notice.” She slid me a sideways glance.
“Good.” I squeezed her hand. “I know we need to figure out how to make everything else fall into place, but if there’s anything I can do to help, just tell me.”
“My adviser at school says I can keep taking online courses, if I’m willing to come up to the college for finals. I think I can manage that, right?”
“Sure, you can.” I was relieved that she was embracing the transition. “And you know, if you want to keep your hand in with the paralegal work, I bet I could help you find a place near Fort Lee that would be glad to have you.”
Her smile dimmed a little. “I guess so. But maybe I wouldn’t look for it until after the baby came. There wouldn’t be much point in starting to work just in time to have to go on maternity leave.” She blinked at me. “Unless you think I should. I mean, maybe it would be a good idea to have my foot in the door.”
“Leah. Beautiful.” I lifted her hand and kissed the back of it. “I only suggested that because I hate to think of you giving up something you’ve worked so hard to achieve. I don’t care if you don’t work. Or if you don’t work until after you get your degree.”
She sighed. “Okay. Thanks.”
We were silent until we reached the diner. Once the waitress had taken our orders, I leaned across the table to link Leah’s hand with mine.
“Listen, babe. Don’t do something or not do it because you think it’s going to make me happy or unhappy, okay? We’re going to work all this out. It might take some time, and we might have bumps in the road, but we’ll get through it together.”
Her answering smile was the most gorgeous thing I’d ever seen in this world. “Okay. I’m not used to having anyone else to consider when I make decisions, you know? So it might take some time for me to adjust. I guess part of me feels like I’m giving something up by sharing the load.”
“From now on, Leah, you’re not alone. I promise you that.” I kissed her fingers where they rested on the back of my own hand, staring into her deep green eyes and feeling that I could easily get lost in their depths.
“Uh . . . Kade?”
I jerked my attention away from Leah. Standing next to our table was a group of guys who were some of my classmates in this course. Among them were Jake Robinson and Eric Muller.
“Hey.” I stood up slowly, still holding tight to Leah’s hand. “What’re you guys up to?”
“Just grabbing some food,” one of them answered. “Eric said this place was decent.”
Jake pinned me with a stare. “Gonna introduce us to your friend, Kade?”
“Oh.” I felt like an idiot. “Yeah, of course. Sorry.” I tugged on Leah’s hand until she slowly and reluctantly slid off the bench of the booth and stood up. She was wearing a pair of maternity jeans I’d bought her last weekend and a pretty T-shirt that clung to her bump, leaving little to the imagination there.
If my buddies had been surprised before, now they were downright shocked. Jake’s mouth dropped open, and I heard another of the men give a low whistle that I was pretty sure was more of pity than admiration.
“Leah, babe, these are some of my friends from the training we’re doing at Fort Davis. Oh, and Jake here’s at Fort Lee with me. Guys, this is Leah. My girlfriend.”
They all stared, clearly waiting for the rest of the story. I cleared my throat and decided to go for broke, laying my hand on her stomach. “And this is our daughter, who’s due in about twelve weeks.”
“Uh . . .” Jake was the first to find his voice and his manners. “Nice to meet you, Leah. I’m Jake Robinson. Um, congratulations, Kade. I had no idea.”
“Thanks.” I wasn’t going to say any more than that, not in front of all of them. Later, I’d explain more to Jake.
There was a ripple of murmurs among the others, and then with nods and waves, they all filtered away to find seats at their table. Only Eric remained in front of me, scowling.
I took a deep breath and rolled my eyes. “Babe, this is Eric Muller. He’s my roommate for this temporary dute.”
She darted a glance at me. I’d told her some stories about the mule. “Oh. I’ve heard a lot about you. Good to meet you.”
Eric ignored her and turned to me, his arms folded across his chest. “Are you fucking out of your mind, Braggs? You know, I was already sure you were an idiot. I knew you were a moron playing at being a soldier, when you’re really just a beach bum at heart. But even then, I thought you had enough smarts to keep yourself from knocking up a trashy townie girl and letting her ruin your career.”
Rage blinded me, and I didn’t stop to think. With a roar of outrage, I swung, my fist connecting with the mule’s jaw with a satisfying thwack. He cried out and tried to right himself and keep from going down, but I’d taken him utterly by surprise, and he landed across the table behind him.
Luckily, no one was sitting there. His fall knocked off a few bundles of silverware and broke one coffee cup.
“Kade!” Leah screamed and grasped my arm, struggling to pull me away. Jake, who had begun to walk away before Eric spoke, shouted and jumped back, putting himself between the mule and me. Shock and disbelief were etched on his face.
“What the hell, man?” he hissed. “You can’t go off like that. Not here, and sure as fuck not on Muller.” He cast a quick glance over his shoulder, where a couple of the other guys and a waitress were helping Eric to his feet and cleaning up the glass, all of them staring at me like I was a lunatic.
“He’s an asshole,” I muttered. “He’s a fucking arrogant entitled piece of shit. Maybe if someone had stood up to his ass earlier, he wouldn’t be the motherfucker he is now.”
“You’re going down for this, Braggs.” Eric was back on his feet, holding a napkin against his face. I didn’t see any blood, but I bet he was going to have a nice bruise. “Don’t think I won’t report this right up the chain of command. You fucked up, buddy. You fucked up big time.”
I clenched my fists to keep from punching him again and instead turned to the waitress, who was glancing between all of us. “I’m very sorry, ma’am. Please add the cost of the mug to our meal, and I’ll gladly cover it.”
“Yeah, I guess you will.” She grimaced as Jake led a still-sputtering Eric Muller away. “Tell you the truth, it’s about time someone clocked that jackass. He’s a pain in the ass all the time here. He’s nasty to the wait staff and always complains about the food.” She lowered her voice. “We’re not going to call the cops or anything. And if you need someone to stand up for you if he’s stupid enough to file charges, you let me know. I heard it all.” She nodded, then patted Leah on the arm as she passed.
“Kade, please just take me home.” Leah looked like she was on the verge of crying. “I—I’m not hungry. Please.”
I stared at her for a few beats, frowning, and then I nodded. “Okay. Just let me pay and we’ll go.” Catching the eye of our waitress again, I made a motion for the check.
As we sat waiting for her, Leah kept her eyes down on the table, where her hands were folded so tightly, the knuckles were white.
“Leah—babe—” I covered both of her hands with one of my larger ones. “Please don’t—”
“I just want to get out of here, Kade.” She spoke through gritted teeth, looking miserable.
The waitress appeared, carrying a brown paper bag stapled shut. “Here’s your food to go, hon. I talked to the manager, and there’s no charge. This is on the house.” She lowered her voice. “We don’t like the fighting, and he’s not happy about you throwing a punch. He said I should tell you that. But like I said, we also know you didn’t start it.” She slid the bag toward me. “Here you go. Take your girl home and spoil her a little.”
Leah and I both stood up, as I put my hand on her back to guide her before me. “Thank you for your help,” I told the waitress. “We appreciate it. And please thank your manager.”
We walked to the parking lot, both of us silent. I opened the car door for Leah before jogging around to my side. Anger was still bubbling inside me, and I wanted to kick the car or punch something else. But I knew Leah was fragile just now. Another outburst from me just might push her over the edge.
The only sound as we drove home was the steady rhythm of her breathing. When we pulled into her driveway, I half-expected her to tell me not to come inside, but she allowed me to follow her in though the kitchen door. That was where she stopped and turned to face me.
“Kade . . . this isn’t . . . we can’t do this.” Tears welled in her eyes and overflowed down her pale cheeks. “I saw how your friends looked at me at the diner. It was just like when I was little, and everyone in school saw me as the foster kid. The girl who didn’t have a family. The teenager who wore hand-me-downs from God only knew who, that were usually a couple of sizes too big. It took me a long time to get past being that person, the throwaway baby. I know I seem like I’m driven and focused and all that, but it’s really just a way to make sure I never end up—like that again. Tonight, for the first time in years, I felt it again. The pity. The instant judgement.”
“Leah.” I touched her shoulder. “I’m sorry. Most of those guys aren’t like that at all. I just hadn’t said anything to them about us, because I didn’t want to jump the gun before you made up your mind about moving down with me. I meant to talk to Jake today, because he’s the one here I know best. I didn’t get a chance, because as soon as we were done, I wanted to be here with you.”
She stood stiff and unyielding, her eyes stuck to the floor between us. “I can’t do it, Kade. It’s always going to be like that—I’ll be the different one. The idiot who wasn’t smart enough to keep from getting knocked up, or maybe the girl who trapped that poor nice Kade Braggs by getting pregnant.”
“Leah, for God’s sake. Stop it.” I laid both of my hands on her slim shoulders. “You’re making more of this than it’s worth. No one is ever going to look at you like that, not as long as I’m around. They wouldn’t dare.”
“Really, Kade? Why, because they know you’ll knock out anyone who opens his mouth and makes some kind of comment about me? How long do you think that will last, before you resent me and the baby, and then you start to hate us and wish you’d never—”
“Leah!” I dropped my hands from her and wheeled away, raking my hand through the stubble of my hair. “Stop it. I don’t resent you or the baby—and I never will. For Christ’s sake, can’t you see I fucking love you? I fucking love you both?”
She raised luminous eyes to me, her tear-stained face making me long to kiss away every drop.
“And I can already anticipate your next argument. You’re going to say that I love the baby, and that’s true, I do. I love her already. But I love her because she’s part of us, Leah. She’s a product of who we are together, and even if she wasn’t planned and even if some aspects of this situation are damned inconvenient, she isn’t at all inconvenient.
“But as much as I love our daughter and I can’t wait to meet her, I love you even more. I know it’s crazy. We met once seven months back, and now we’ve only been together for four and a half weeks. I don’t care. I love you, Leah. I’m fucking insane in love with you, if you couldn’t tell. All I want to do, from the minute my eyes open in the morning, is be with you. And going to sleep at night, with you in my arms and our baby inside you, is the best fucking thing I’ve ever known. You make me whole, Leah. I didn’t even realize how much I wanted you until I found you again, and now . . . well, now, hell if I’m going to walk away and live without you, live like half a man, just because Eric Muller is a fucking asshole.”
Leah ran the tip of her tongue over her lips. “Do you really mean it? You . . . love me?”
I took one tentative step closer and caught her hands in mine. “I really do, babe. I was going to say it, but I had all this shit planned for when I told you. And I was going to give you this.” I dug into the pocket of my jeans and pulled out a slim black box. “That first day when I asked you to marry me, I didn’t have a ring or anything. But that night, I called my mom and asked her to send this.” Opening the box, I showed it to Leah.
“This is the ring my dad gave my mom. She always told me that someday she wanted to see it on the hand of the woman I loved, because it would make her happy to know that it was passed down to another couple who loved each other the way she and my father did.” I lifted out the delicate silver ring, holding it up. “I know it’s not much, and it’s not fancy. My folks were pretty broke when they got married. But my mom never wanted it replaced, because she said it reminded her of how in love they were in the beginning, and how that never changed.”
“It’s beautiful.” Leah ventured one finger out to touch the stone. “I’ve never seen anything lovelier.”
“I know you’re not sure about getting married, Leah. I understand that. This ring can be whatever you want it to be. You can wear it on your right hand, and it can be just a promise between us, for someday when you’re ready. Or you can wear it on your left hand, as your engagement ring, but we can wait until after the baby comes to do up a big fancy wedding, if that’s what you want. I don’t care. I just want to see it on your hand, because no matter what, babe, I need to know that you’re mine. I want the world to know that we belong to each other.” I pulled her against me, the ring still warm in my hand, her firm bump undeniably between us, pressing into me. “I love you, Leah Samson. Please be mine. However that looks, whatever name you want to call it, just be mine.”
For the space of a few agonizing heart beats, she didn’t reply. And then a tremulous, brilliant smile curved her gorgeous lips.
“I love you, Kade. I’ve been in love with you . . . well, for a long time now.” She swallowed, blinking back more tears. “I don’t want your mother’s beautiful ring to be a promise ring or even just an engagement ring. I don’t need a big fussy wedding. All I need is you. I . . . I’ll marry you whenever you want. Tonight. Tomorrow. This weekend.”
The rest of her words were muffled as I hugged her even tighter, my own eyes suspiciously damp. I was so relieved, so fucking happy, as if this moment was the culmination of every single thing I’d wished for and worked for in my life. Within the circle of my arms, I held the two most precious gifts I’d ever been given. True, I hadn’t exactly asked for them, and both had come as a surprise. But this woman and the baby she carried for me—they were all the more extraordinary for being unexpected and unanticipated. I would love them both extravagantly, and I’d give my life to protect them from any harm. They were my world now. They were my life.
And damned if I was ever going to let them go.