My eyes dart open and I quickly sit up gasping, the remnant of a nightmare still heavy at the forefront of my mind. I blink around the dim room before my eyes land on Hudson who’s laying on his back, arm tucked behind his head, sleeping soundly. Instantly I start to relax.

It was just a nightmare...

I don’t even remember what I was dreaming about, only that I was trying so hard to wake myself up. Kind of like yesterday at the courthouse when Stephanie had introduced herself as Hudson’s wife.

It seemed so unreal at the time. Hell, I still don’t think I’ve fully wrapped my head around everything that transpired.

Glancing at the clock on my bedside table I see that it’s right after six p.m. Not sure when I fell asleep or how I managed to sleep so soundly in the middle of the day, I slip out from under the covers and carefully climb from the bed.

Deciding I’m in need of a toothbrush and a very hot shower, I step into the en suite and quietly close the door behind me.

Catching sight of myself in the mirror, I have to do a double take. My hair is knotted and flat on one side. My eyes are bloodshot with red lining the underneath. And not an ounce of the make-up I applied this morning is present. I look awful. Like I’ve aged five years in less than twenty-four hours.

After brushing my teeth for longer than necessary, my mind is still swirling around everything that happened.

Where I’ve chosen to forgive him, the knot in the pit of my stomach is still present. I’d hoped rest would ease some of the strain from the day.

Pulling back the shower curtain, I turn the water on as hot as it will go and let it heat up before stripping out of my clothes and stepping inside.

The water temperature is just how I like it. Hot enough to relax away the tension but not so hot that I burn myself.

I quickly wet my hair and lather in some shampoo, not realizing I’m no longer alone in the bathroom until I hear the shower curtain move.

Peeking one eye open, I catch sight of a bare chested Hudson seconds before he slides into the shower with me.

“Hey,” he grumbles, his hands going into my hair as he helps me rinse. “You sleep okay?”

I wipe my face with my hands and open my eyes, not missing the hesitant way Hudson is studying me. It’s almost like he’s not sure how to act.

“Not really,” I admit truthfully. “But I do feel a little better. You?”

“I had trouble falling asleep. Got about an hour.” He shrugs, grabbing the conditioner from my hands before squirting a large dollop into his palm. “Turn around.” His hands go into my hair as soon as I do, working the conditioner from root to tip.

“Mmm.” I tilt my head back further, loving the feeling of his fingers against my scalp. He massages for at least a solid two minutes before having me turn back around to rinse.

Laying a light kiss to my bottom lip as soon as the conditioner is rinsed, Hudson moves on to the body wash. Squeezing some onto my loofah, he works it into a lather before pressing it to my shoulder.

He watches me intently as he slides the pink ball across my collar bone and down the side of my breast. I bite my bottom lip, not wanting to feel as turned on as I do but also unable to control it.

A part of me feels like we need to take it slow and make sure we’re still on the same page. The other part of me is ready to slide into his arms and beg him to make me forget. This part becomes increasingly harder to ignore when he nudges my legs open with his knee and slides the loofah across the too sensitive area between my thighs.

Hudson is laser focused. His forehead crinkles in concentration as he washes me, and even though I can tell he wants more, he makes no attempt to push for it.

I, on the other hand, am less controlled and tend to act more on emotion than anything else. Which is why when he moves to pull the loofah away, I grab his forearm, keeping it in place.

Reaching between us, I peel the soapy ball from his hand so that he’s touching me skin to skin. He lets out a shaky breath and meets my gaze.

“Lennon,” he warns when I move against his hand, desperate for friction. “I’m trying to give you some time here but if you keep riding my hand like that all bets are off.”

“Then what the hell are you waiting for?” I snag my hand around the back of his neck and pull him to me. Our mouths crashing together seconds later.

I moan when his mouth opens and his tongue slides against mine. At the same time two fingers dip inside of me. I didn’t realize how desperate I was to feel him like this. Especially after believing I never would again.

“I want you, Hudson,” I pant against his lips. “Right now.” I press down on his hand, needing to feel his fingers deeper.

“I’m all yours, baby.” He smiles as he withdraws his hand and spins me around so that my back is pressed to his front. “But I’m going to warn you, I’m not going to be gentle.” He presses his hand against the middle of my back and guides me forward so that I’m slightly bent with my ass sticking out.

“I don’t want you to be.” I bite my lip and suck in a deep breath when I feel him line himself at my entrance. “Hudson,” I cry out when he pushes inside, going as deep as he can and planting himself there for a long moment. “Hudson.” I push back, urging him to move.

“I just want to feel you for a minute. Fuck, Lennon, you feel so good.” The gravelly way he says it nearly brings me to my knees.

As desperate as I am, I let him have his moment, not able to deny how incredible it feels to have him resting heavily inside of me.

Hudson leans forward slightly, placing both my hands on the shower wall in front of me. “Brace yourself, babe.” He kisses my shoulder and straightens behind me, his hands going to my hips.

Sliding out of me slowly, he hisses when he stops with just the tip inside.

“Fuck, Lennon. The things you do to me.” He plunges into me so forcefully I nearly lose my balance. “This is gonna be quick. You feel too fucking good,” he growls, establishing a fast and steady pace. His fingers bite into my hips. Wet skin slapping wet skin.

My hands press harder against the wall as I push back, meeting Hudson thrust for thrust. I’m crazy for him, drunk on the feel of him inside me, consumed by the incredible ache building in my lower belly.

This is what I needed – to be reminded what this man makes me feel and how he makes me feel it. Both emotionally and physically. To be reassured that he wants me, and right now I know he does.

In how he holds me, how he breathes my name, how he moves inside of me like he won’t ever be able to get enough.

And just like that I come undone. Crying out so loud my voice echoes off the bathroom walls around us. The waves of pleasure overcome me, one after another in an endless cycle of pleasure until Hudson finally succumbs behind me. He growls, his face pressing to the middle of my back as the heat of his release pours into me.

He pumps two more times and stills, his arm wrapping around my chest seconds later to pull me upright against him.

“I love you.” He kisses down my neck, pellets of water peppering his face as he does.

“I love you.” And it’s the truth, finally finding a calm within me.

I protest when he slides out of me and turns me in his arms. Pushing wet hair away from my face, he gently cups my cheeks.

“I’m never going to get enough of this. Of you.”

“Good.” I smile, pressing up to kiss his mouth.

—-

“Peanut butter or peanut butter?” I question, leaning into the pantry.

It wasn’t until after another round that we finally exited the shower, neither of us able to stand the cold water past that point. Hudson is leaning against the kitchen counter next to me looking like a million bucks in his white tee and black boxer briefs, his hair still wet from the shower, while I’m snuggled in my big fluffy robe.  

“Hmmm. Peanut butter.” He laughs.

“Good choice.” I re-emerge from the pantry holding a jar of peanut butter and a loaf of bread. “Sorry I don’t have more. I actually went grocery shopping yesterday but most of it needed to be refrigerated and went bad in my car overnight.”

“We’ll go shopping tomorrow. I’ll buy,” he offers, his smile slipping slightly.

“You don’t have to do that.” I drop the peanut butter and bread on the counter. “Although going shopping is a must unless we’re going to eat peanut butter for the next six weeks.” The thought of him leaving for tour at the end of next month causes a wave a dread to wash over me.

“We’ll go tomorrow.”

“I hate shopping on Saturdays.” I crinkle my nose. “But I guess I can make it work. Especially if you’ll be there to get me through it.” I slide in front of him, pressing my palms to his chest.

“Let’s make a day of it,” he suggests. “We can go to lunch, maybe do a little shopping outside of groceries, and just spend some time together.”

“I like that idea.” I kiss the side of his jaw before turning toward the fridge to retrieve the jelly.

My cell phone pings from the living room, notifying me of a new text message. Deciding to ignore it, I start pulling slices of bread out of their bag and setting them on paper plates when it pings again.

“Here.” I hand Hudson a butter knife. “You know how to spread peanut butter, right?” I tease.

“Hmm, I think I can manage.” He smiles, his dimple making an appearance for the first time today.

It’s weird. It feels like morning but it’s nearly eight o’clock at night. I guess that’s what I get for napping in the middle of the afternoon.

Crossing into the living room, I grab my cell phone from the coffee table. The screen illuminates revealing two text messages from Emma.

Emma: I tried to call earlier. Is everything okay?

Emma: Call or text me back or I’m coming over.

Realizing she must have called while we were napping or in the shower, I type out a quick response.

Me: Hudson’s here. He explained and everything is fine. I’ll fill you in later. I love you and thank you for earlier.

Her response is almost instant.

Emma: I’m so glad. I was so worried about you. Call me tomorrow if you can or we can talk at work on Monday. Love you.

“Everything okay?” I look up to see Hudson watching me from across the breakfast bar.

“Yeah. Just Emma checking in.” I drop my cell back down onto the coffee table before rejoining him in the kitchen.

“I take it she knows what happened?” he asks, stepping to the side so I can drop some jelly onto the bread he’s already put peanut butter on.

“She does. Well, she knows as much as I did this morning.” I reach into the bread bag and pull out four slices, finishing off each sandwich.

“So basically she hates me.” He chuckles, watching me lift one sandwich to my mouth to take a huge bite.

“She doesn’t,” I say after I’ve swallowed. “Her and Robert were the ones trying to convince me to hear you out when I was ready to never speak to you again.”

“Remind me to thank them later.” He leans forward and takes a bite of the sandwich in my hand.

“Hey. Get your own!” I squeal, holding my sandwich closer to myself.

“But yours tastes so much better.” He moves in, attempting to take another bite.

“It tastes the same as those.” I point toward the counter.

“No it doesn’t,” he disagrees, backing me into the refrigerator. 

“I thought you were hungry,” I remind him when he slowly starts to untie my robe.

“Oh, I am hungry.” He slides open the thick fabric, letting his eyes travel the length of me. “I’m just craving something other than peanut butter all of a sudden.” He drops to his knees and within seconds I’ve completely forgotten why we were in the kitchen to begin with.