Chapter Eighteen

It took most of the day and into the night for William and Ronald to gather their information and head back to the city. When they reached Alexandria, William found another out of the way motel. They bought drive-thru meals and went back to the motel to continue to plan.

William was good at keeping calm. He had years of practice and training that took over when any situation turned into something that was impossible to think straight through. But Ronald didn’t have the military training. He didn’t understand the world was safer than it seemed right now. William knew whatever happened at Ronald’s apartment had a sequence of events that precipitated a foreseeable outcome. When William intervened in the failed attempt on Ronald’s life, whoever was in charge had to answer for the loss of an asset and whoever was pointing fingers, had to own up to losing someone that cost a considerable amount of money to train.

That meant the possibly of more assets on their tail. It was a matter of how high up on the food chain Ronald had pissed off. Whatever he’d stumbled into put him in the sights of someone who had access to heavy arsenal. Now it was a matter of staying out of the way and see how much money or exposure they wanted to give Ronald before it ended.

“How are you feeling?” Ronald asked when William opened the bathroom door. He wore only a towel around his waist because he wanted to redress the wound. But he also wanted to coax Ronald, distract him from the idea his life was on the line.

“I’m okay.” He touched the bandages timidly.

Ronald watched William. “You doin' okay?” he asked. He moved across the room and went through the new duffle bag of clothes to select a t-shirt and cotton pajama bottoms.

“I’m not freaking out.” His shoulders were slumped, but William saw Ronald watching him in the reflection of the room mirror when he dropped the towel to slip on the pajama bottoms. Ronald’s mouth went slack.

He quickly looked at something other than William’s taut naked form, broad shoulders tapering into a slim waist and smooth bottom. William left off the t-shirt and turned around. Ronald was looking at the floor instead of William’s stomach and chest.

He went to Ronald. It was time to own up to the responsibility of years lost. He sat down on the bed and looked from his fingers to Ronald sitting in the armchair.

“What if I told you that I'd killed people,” William started.

Ronald didn’t answer immediately. “I would think that in the service and for the protection of the country, we have to do things that we’re not proud of,” Ronald said as if delivering a morality speech.

William nodded. “I agree with that. But sometimes it just doesn’t feel like it’s the right course of action. And when you’re following orders, sometimes you have to set aside personal views and get on with your duty.”

“I think that’s what’s always bothered me about the military.” Ronald’s views on William’s career weren’t negative. But he knew some of the reason why Ronald never asked about what he did for a living when they were together was that he didn’t want to feel conflicted about military actions.

“I know,” William said. “But I really love what I do.”

“Except when it conflicts with your moral compass,” Ronald pointed out diligently.

“Exactly.” William sighed. “When I chose to leave you, I never really left. I chose to stay on and continue to do something that I knew was vitally important to what we have in this country.”

Ronald made a face that suggested William’s words stung a little. “I get that you had to do something that meant either staying with me or saving lives.” He smiled at William. “I’m not a fool, Bill. The moment I saw you show up again I realized you had something going on that was bigger than our simple relationship.”

William took Ronald’s hand. He leaned over from the armchair and grasped it, holding it. “I want you to know that I never thought our relationship was ‘simple’ or mundane. I love you, and I wanted nothing more than to be with you.”

Ronald didn’t speak right away. It was as if he heard William’s voice in his head. Eyes closed, he listened to his words as they caressed him. “I knew you were still alive.” He opened his eyes to see William sitting close, still holding his hand. “I knew you were doing something secret and important. I knew you sent me the edible arrangement to the office on my birthday last year.”

“I told the clerk to make sure the note said it was from your mother.”

“I got the note. But you know my mother has never concerned herself enough with my eating habits.” Ronald looked smug. “Plus, I asked her about it.”

“This business with Renee pretending to be my sister,” William explained. “That was never my idea. I didn’t want anything of my personal life to mix with business. They wanted to give me a cover that seemed genuine. And I think they did that as a test to see how I reacted around you with her in the picture.”

Ronald didn’t bother with William’s excuse about Renee. “You’ve been away a long time.”

“I know.” He felt the pressure in Ronald’s hand, holding tighter. He felt something unexpected. The sting in his sinuses from the emotional overload, the sudden sensation of tears burned in the ducts in his eyes. He sniffled lightly and let go of Ronald’s hand.

The soft eyes staring back at William, under the hood of artificially enhanced black hair were the eyes he remembered from years ago. There, in the same room, occupying the same space as him finally, Ronald. The man he fell in love with and knew in his heart, even against all the training to turn off the emotions, William still loved him.

“You’ll look good with a beard,” William said, trying to change the subject.

“It’s not the same color as my hair now.” Ronald ran his hand over his chin and up to his hair. He pulled back, sitting up on the bed. “I never lost hope in you.”

William rubbed his eye as if he had grit and not tears.

“I knew you were out there doing something and I only had to keep going and not feel too sorry for myself. I got to have you for a few years, and I wanted that time to last me a lifetime if I wasn’t going to get you back.”

William grinned. “I’m back.”

Ronald nodded in agreement. “You are,” he said. “But for how long?”

“After all this, I have to tell you that I broke a few rules. The agency that oversees my business practices isn’t too keen on losing an asset. But this is a short-lived career. A lot of people that did what I do are happily retired early. They usually get cushy jobs in offices for the rest of their tenure in the military.”

“You won’t get that now?”

William winced at a thought. “I might be facing a court-martial. But if they think I committed treason, I’m looking at a considerable amount of time in a military prison somewhere in the US, or worse.”

“That’s not…” But it was just that. A random taxi hitting a pedestrian at an intersection in the city happens sometimes. Wealthy businesspeople randomly drown in saunas at hotels when they should be home with their wives. Beer bottles explode when bullets hit them that were intended for other targets. It was the world they lived in, and it wasn’t exactly sunshine and roses.