Chapter Twenty-Seven

The federal style colonial house sat on five acres of private property. Built at the turn of the last century, the two-level house had original hardwood floors on both the primary and upper level. The two-car garage was the only addition, connected to the home in the late 1980s. Granite kitchen countertops, extensive floor plans, and balconies for each of the five bedrooms, it was the kind of house people who lived in excess felt justified to live in, even when four of the five bedrooms were vacant because they were too selfish to have children.

It was more than William expected when he found the property. He spent days looking over the floor plans. He traversed the neighborhood for a few days, each day in a different vehicle. He looked for weak spots in the high-security fence that surrounded the property. The place had hidden CCTV cameras everywhere. It was the kind of house where a spy felt at ease, thinking they bought the best of the best to protect what was theirs. People who killed other people for a living felt at safe at home, even when it looked like every other house in the wealthy neighborhood.

For William, who learned from the government, and taught himself a few more tricks, it was difficult to penetrate, but not impossible.

When he stood in the bedroom, looming over the sleeping figure, the pistol pointed at the bed had a suppressor on its end to deaden the deafening sound if the time came.

After minutes of fitful sleep, the figure rolled in the dark. The sensation of not being alone had a way of crawling into the bed and shaking someone awake. Fumbling for the bedside lamp, the light came on in the bedroom.

“My God, William, what are you doing?” Renee slept in a t-shirt and panties. It was the first time William saw his commanding officer out of uniform.

“I’m getting insurance.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You tried to have me eliminated.”

“That wasn’t me,” she stammered. Renee sat up more on the bed. “I ran that all the way up the chain. I put in a good word for you.”

William narrowed his eye. “Not too good of a word.”

Renee shook her finger at William. “That was good thinking about calling in the DEA. You know what kind of a shit show you started with that. We’re still trying to smooth that over.”

“I want out.”

“I know that. But you know we invested a lot of money training you.”

“You’d rather I be a dead asset than a liability.”

“You know that’s how we work.”

“No!” He extended his arm. Without stepping forward, it was intimidating looking down the barrel of a gun at the scorned agent. “I know there are other governments out there that work like that. But we’re not in another country. This is the United States. We’re not like that.”

“You indignant, self-righteous bastard,” Renee said. A gun in her face didn't overawe her. She flung off the blanket and stood in front of William. “You think you’re better than everyone else? You’re nobody. And nobody’s going to miss you when you’re gone. You think if you kill me they’re going to stop looking for you?”

“Well, yeah, I thought they just might. I want out. If I kill you, they’ll have to come looking for me. I’ll make sure they find me. And every time they get close to me, I’ll give away a little secret. Maybe I’ll tell the world how we fund a lot of our problem-solving techniques by using the acquisitions from various money laundering services. I’ll make sure every senator out there knows you have a big, endless piggy bank.”

“That’s your death sentence.”

“I know that. But I don’t have anything to live for anymore. You destroyed my one chance at happiness.”

“I have a hard time believing you cared that much about—” Renee went down on the bed again. She held her broken nose. It impressed William that she didn’t cry out in pain.

A well-placed smack with the butt of the pistol rendered even the most belligerent opponent quiet. Expertly, Renee stemmed the blood flow with a fistful of facial tissue from the nightstand.

“You’re not dying tonight Renee. I’m not your toy anymore. And if you thought I didn’t have the stomach for killing, you’re dead wrong. But I have a moral compass. You might not have pulled any triggers; at least lately. But you got a lot of blood on your hands. I want to walk away. That’s all I’m asking.”

“You’re not going to hand over classified information to anyone?” Her voice was adenoidal now from the deviated septum.

“You have my word that I won’t give away any of your secrets.” William lowered the pistol. He holstered it. “I promise. I want out. I want to go retire somewhere in peace and quiet.”

Renee shook her head. “I can’t believe you’re willing to just throw away everything that’s been handed to you.”

“I know that if I went out again if I didn’t complete the next mission, you’d eliminate me anyway. It might not be a strike team sent to a lonely motel in Virginia. Or another strike team sent to a bungalow in Miami. But eventually, I’d fail and maybe die from falling down stairs, or have an allergic reaction.”

“We’re just doing business. It’s nothing personal.”

“It’s personal Renee. I thought you’d get that the minute I came to your house. I slipped through every defense you had. I made it right to the edge of your bed. You had no idea.”

“But that’s why you’re too good to lose.” She had a pleading look in her eyes, but it was pathetic when she held tissue to her nose. “It’s so expensive to replace you.”

“But it’s probably a little more expensive to replace you.”

Renee had a look that suggested William knew more than he let on. “What did you do?”

“I had some leftover drops from a mission I had a few years ago. You’d be surprised how easy it was to get through TSA with an ampoule of poison.”

“You didn’t,” Renee mumbled. She looked around frantically for the cell phone. She usually placed it on the nightstand by her head. When they came to check on her, they’d find the cell phone on the kitchen counter. No one would think anything out of the ordinary.

“Women your age,” William said. He took a few steps back from the bedside. “High-stress job like yours,” he went on. “It’s surprising more people don’t have heart attacks.”

“You didn’t,” Renee said. Her hands came away from her face. There were tears in her eyes. “Please tell me you didn’t do it.” She stayed on the bed. Her wet eyes were red. Her body trembled. “Please, William, please tell me you didn’t do it.”

“But that’s what you trained me for, Renee. You wanted me to be a killer. I thought you’d have a little pride in my work. You wanted me to be the best.” William cocked his head. “But maybe that’s a double standard with you.”

“How long do I have?” she whispered.

William looked at his wristwatch. “I don’t know if the potency wore off or if it intensified over the years.” He looked at Renee sitting on the bedside. She looked fragile suddenly, weak and inconsequential. “I thought they’d be too busy trying to find your replacement than worry about me anymore. Everything changes when they put someone else in charge. Just think that they’ll replace you with one of your recruits. Who knows, I doubt any of them would consider avenging you. What good is the business of revenge? It’s messy, and you have to answer for all your screw ups. Right?”

Renee nodded. Her face drooped. Her head lolled a little. She fought against the poison as it raced through her body. Now that she knew, it picked up speed. Her heart hammered the tainted blood through her veins. Renee leaned forward. William stepped close to the bed to stop her from falling. He eased her back into the bed. He covered her with the blanket.

“Of course, they have to do an autopsy to suspect anything out of the ordinary. This stuff used to be good enough. It was untraceable. Nowadays, I’m not so sure.”

“Please, don’t let me die.” Renee reached for William’s gloved hand. He gave it to her and held on tight. “I don’t want to die.”

“That’s what I thought too.” He peered down at her. A recumbent form sleeping in a bed made for a quiet death. “Do you think they’ll wait a couple of days before they check on you? Or do you think they’d come right away?” He sat on the edge of the bed near Renee’s middle. William looked around the bedroom. Renee had expensive taste, but the furnishings were stylish. “Ronald’s body took weeks before they found him. I kind of hope it takes longer for you.”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered faintly. Her eyelids were too heavy to open again.

“What was that?”

“I’m sorry.” Renee took a haggard breath. “I am sorry Ronald killed himself.”

“I believe you.” William brushed the hair from Renee’s face. “I think you’re telling me the truth.”

She tried to nod, but her chin dipped to her neck and stopped.

“You’re this close to death, and you apologize to me.” He waited a moment before saying, “You don’t know how much that means to me. Thank you.”

William let go of Renee’s hand. He stood up and stared down at her again. “When your life’s in someone else’s hands it suddenly matters to you.” Renee’s eyes fluttered open. “I believe you meant your apology.”

“I do.”

“That’s important because when you wake up tomorrow, I think you will have a new outlook on life. I’m not taking it away from you, Renee. I’m releasing you from your burdens. I bet you will have mixed feelings about sending someone out to eliminate a target when you know what it feels like to be one.”

He bent in half to get closer to Renee’s face. “Remember that, Renee. There’re others out there that are probably better than me. I bet there are a few people out there that can do what I do and not hold back. I’m not a killer. I did what I had to do, and I paid for it. I lost the one person in my life that mattered. But I’m still not a killer.”

He turned off the bedside lamp. Waiting in the dark for a moment, William said. “You’re going to have one hell of a headache when you wake up. Goodbye, Renee.” And he slipped out of the bedroom and out of Renee’s life forever.