Chapter Two
Adam couldn’t take his eyes off Megan as she washed up while the injured brown Lab rested on a blanket on the floor. In college, she’d been a little shy and uncertain. But now she was confident, outgoing, and sexy. Long and lean, she had silvery blue eyes and her hair…he had always loved her hair. A rich, silky red, the long tresses were thick and so female. Long enough to wrap around his hand and tilt her head back to kiss her until neither of them could breathe.
The spark between them was alive and well, and currently making his jeans tight against his groin. No point in lying to himself about it.
She dried her hands on a paper towel and said, “Why are you in town, Adam?”
“Work.” He leaned back against the table and crossed his arms over his chest. The way her eyes followed his movements heated his blood. “I left the military and opened a security agency in Los Angeles.”
“L.A. is a five-hour drive from here. You’re a little out of your territory, aren’t you?”
“Nope, we go where the job is. In this case, Nathan McCray hired Once A Marine Security Agency to provide security and protection for the Celebrity Golf Tournament.”
The shocks just kept coming. Not only was Adam here, but working for the man who’d tried to bribe her. “And when are you leaving?”
Her icy tone rippled down his spine. “Anxious to get rid of me, Meg?”
She stared at him. “Seems to me you couldn’t leave fast enough last time I saw you.”
“I had to go back to duty.” Okay, yeah, he could have handled that better. He’d woken the morning after his parents’ funeral with his arms wrapped around her, the scent of her hair in his nose. He’d felt…too much and it’d scared the shit out of him. He’d jumped out of bed, called a taxi, and gotten dressed. She’d woken, asked him in her sleepy voice what he was doing.
Returning to duty.
She’d asked him when was he coming back home.
Regret stabbed him. He’d been weak to sleep with Meg. He had nothing to offer her, never would. All he wanted was to put the past behind him. He’d failed in earning his parents’ forgiveness, and now they were dead.
His job was all he had left. Everything else, his family and what was left of his ideals, were destroyed. And if he’d let Meg any closer, he’d have destroyed her too. So he’d decided that a quick and clean break was for the best. He had steeled himself and told her the truth, that he was never coming back.
Clearly, she was still angry about the way he left, and now that he had a little distance, he knew he hadn’t done her a kindness at all, but rather he’d been an asshole.
Dropping his arms, he walked toward her. “I’m sorry, Megan. I left abruptly last time. I don’t think I even thanked you for everything you did to help with my parents’ funeral.”
“I don’t want your thanks.”
“You wanted me to make promises I couldn’t keep.”
When it came to fighting, he gave everything he had. He had nothing to lose. But emotionally, he’d shut down a long time ago just to survive. He was surprised Megan had put up with it as long as she had in college. Until she’d wanted a true commitment before he left for boot camp, a commitment to a future that included marriage and a family. He’d refused. It was a deal breaker. She wanted a family, and he wanted to fight for his country.
“I couldn’t give you what you wanted. I’m not cut out for commitment.”
“I got that. It was a long time ago.” She pulled her gaze away from him. “Thanks for your help, but we’re done. You can leave.”
“I don’t want to leave, Meg.” He didn’t want to leave her, couldn’t. Not yet. Something about her tugged at his chest. Just inhaling her warm pear scent among the harsher smells of the treatment room chased out the darkness that lived in his head.
He was screwing this up. “I’d like us to be friends. I want a chance to earn your forgiveness.” He reached out, touching a lock of her hair. “You’re more beautiful than I remember.”
She lifted her chin. “I’m not interested in your idea of friendship.”
He drew one finger down the curve of her neck to the fluttering pulse at the base of her throat. “You were never a hookup,” he said softly. “I’m not asking for sex, unless that’s what you want. I’m here for a few weeks. Not only working, but sorting through my folks’ stuff and getting the house ready to sell.” Resting his hand on her shoulder, he drew his thumb back and forth along her collarbone. “Let me take you out. We can get to know each other again.”
Megan ducked beneath his arm and picked up a collar and leash. “No.”
“Why not? I know I screwed up, but I’m asking for another chance, at least to be friends. Is there someone else? Cole?”
“You’re amazing,” she said with a shake of her head.
“I’m guessing that’s not a compliment.”
“Bingo,” she said flatly. “You really think you can show up and I’d just fall into your arms? Or that you have a right to grill me about my life? You left, Adam. Without leaving me a phone number, an e-mail address…you were just gone. You don’t deserve answers.”
He refused to let himself shy away from her anger, her pain. He deserved it. “No, I don’t. In fact, I’ve been here a couple days, told myself to leave you alone, that I’d hurt you enough. The same thing I told myself every time I started a letter to you, or began writing an e-mail.” He’d never forgotten her, and there were times when her memory had been the only thing that kept him going, kept him sane. He had longed for her like an ache that was bone deep. “I thought a clean break was best for both of us. But then I saw the dog hit and I had to bring her to you.”
She stared at him. “I can’t do this, Adam. You were right, no contact is better. Cleaner.”
Her words stung. Was this how she felt when he’d told her he’d never be back? He really had been a jerk. She had deserved better than that. He saw that now.
But how could he fix it? Now that he’d seen her, touched her, he needed her forgiveness. He couldn’t give her a future, but…
He glanced at the dog she’d leashed and then back at Meg. “That’s going to be a problem.” He walked over and gently took the leash from her.
Furrows appeared between her eyebrows. “What are you doing?”
He was pretty sure she wasn’t seeing anyone else or she’d have told him. He’d back off if she were; he wasn’t here to screw up her life. Looking down at her, he said, “Someone has to take care of the dog while she heals. I’m working out of my parents’ house, so she can stay with me. I’ll bring her back in a few days for a checkup.”
She shook her head. “I don’t think—”
He cut her off. “I’m taking the dog. I’ll pay for her treatment and find her a home before I leave. She’ll be fine.” Hell, he felt sorry for the dog. And it was lonely in that house. He didn’t mind hanging out with the Lab.
Plus the dog was obviously sweet-tempered. She had taken her treatment like a soldier. She would soften Meg’s resistance to him, then he’d talk her into spending time with him. He wasn’t going to lie—sex between them had always been incredible, and if she was willing, he would do everything he could to give them both hours of pleasure. But more than that, he wanted to put things right between them. To walk away knowing she could call him if she needed help.
He just wanted to leave them both with good memories.
…
Megan sat with Cole on his bed and held up two books for him to choose from: one about trucks and the other about dinosaurs. He was warm from his bath, wore his favorite pajamas, and had his stuffed Newfoundland puppy clutched under his arm.
“Trucks,” Cole said. “Want trucks.”
She smiled down at her son. He loved trucks, dogs, and dinosaurs. And she loved him. More than she ever would have thought it possible to love someone. She opened the book and started reading…and soon his eyes drifted shut.
His eyes were blue like hers, but his hair was brown like his father’s.
What would Adam think if he knew about Cole? For two days, she’d thought of little else. The sad thing was that even though they’d dated almost two years back in college, she truly didn’t know what Adam would think. There were parts of him he’d always kept closed off from her. He was an open book with his charming sexy side, but anytime she went near that pool of agony in him, he would shut her down. The only thing she’d ever gotten out of him was that he adamantly didn’t want a family. Ever. That had been when they’d broken up right before he left for boot camp.
So how would he react to Cole? Would he look at him with the same kind of love she felt? Or would he be like her father, and consider the child an unwanted burden that he resented?
Her stomach clenched. Her parents divorced when she was four. She never saw her father after that and there were only a few miserable phone calls from him over the years. She remembered the father–daughter dance in middle school, and how she had desperately wanted to go with him. Her mom said he was too busy traveling for his job, but Megan thought her mom was jealous and didn’t want her to spend time with her father. That’s what Megan wanted to believe.
So she’d called her dad.
Hot shame broke out over her skin at the memory. He had snapped that he was too busy, earning money to pay child support for her, to go to school dances. Wasn’t that enough? It wasn’t like he’d ever wanted kids in the first place. Then he hung up.
Megan had run to the bathroom and thrown up. Her mom found her there, coaxed out what had happened, and hugged her tight. Catherine had told Megan she loved her, had loved her from the moment she found out she was pregnant, and that her father was a selfish boy, not a man. Her father didn’t deserve her.
Opening her eyes, she looked down at Cole. The joy of her life. She wouldn’t let him suffer the same pain of rejection that she had. That was why she hadn’t tried to track Adam down when she found out she was pregnant with Cole. But a boy needed his father, too.
It was one thing when she’d thought Adam would never come back, but now he was here, said he’d be in town for weeks. He could find out about Cole. She had to come up with a plan, spend some time with Adam. Find out if he would accept his son and want to be a father to him. Or reject Cole just as she herself had been tossed away.