Chapter Four
As Adam lowered his head toward her, Megan felt her stomach tighten and her body heat. His hand caressed her jaw and shivers danced over her skin. She inhaled his rich musk and clean soap scent just as he brushed his lips over hers. He trailed his hand up her throat and cupped her cheek, his thumb stroking her skin as his lips brushed her mouth.
Adam. The ashes of her love for him stirred deep in her chest, making her gasp.
He groaned and took his hand from her face to scoop her legs off the floor and lay her across his lap.
He lifted his head, his golden eyes burning with fever. “More, Meg. Let me taste you.”
His thighs were hard beneath her bottom, his strong arms supporting her, but what touched her was the sheer need in his eyes. She knew it was lust, but she still found herself reaching up to take his face in her hands and pulling his mouth to hers. This time the kiss exploded. Adam caught her hair, tilted her head, and explored her mouth. He tasted of coffee and pure male heat. Her nipples peaked and her body grew hot, needy.
Sliding her tongue along his, she wanted more. It had been too long and her body cried out for his touch.
He gave her no respite, pushing her, consuming her. He drew his hand over her face, down her throat. The pleasure burned a path of hot desire, making her arch as a low moan slid from her.
Adam broke the kiss, his gaze locked onto hers. “Do that again. Make that sound for me.” He slid his hand down to cup her breast, using his thumb to tease her nipple through her tank.
Fire shot straight to her core. This was how it had always been with him, and the memories of their shared pleasure heated her imagination as his touch blazed across her skin. She wanted to feel him pressed against her. She wanted to experience again the incredible sensations only he could make her feel. She wanted to lose control with him. Just the two of them…
The two of them.
Cold reality seeped in. What was she doing? It wasn’t just the two of them—she had a son to think about. A son she loved more than her own life. Cole was everything to her. She could no longer afford to be reckless or wild. She was a mother. To Adam’s child, the son he didn’t even know about.
Grabbing Adam’s wrist, she pushed his hand from her, scrambled off his lap, and stood.
“Meg, what’s wrong?” He let her go, but his voice betrayed his confusion as he rose to his feet.
Without looking at him, she donned her sweatshirt and zipped it up. She needed all the armor she could get. She turned and nearly yelped to find him standing only six inches from her. Dang, he moved like a ghost. He towered over her five foot seven by more than half a foot and weighed at least fifty pounds more. He made her feel small, and when she was in his arms, protected. Seeing Adam this way—it cut her with guilt. Cole was his son. Had she been wrong to keep their child a secret?
But even as she wondered if she’d been fair to Adam, she had to remind herself that Cole was her main concern. She couldn’t risk her son’s tender heart with a man who might not treasure it. Besides, Adam had already proven that he was a man who had a habit of walking away.
“I’m too old and have too many responsibilities to be your sex buddy, Adam.”
His face went dark. “I never called you that.”
She couldn’t do this again. Both times he’d left her, it had hurt right to her soul. But she no longer harbored schoolgirl fantasies of romance. She was a realist, and maybe it was better to get it all out on the table. “What is it you want from me?”
He rubbed his hand over the shadow of his beard. “I’ve never forgotten. No matter where I went, what I was doing, you were there in my mind.” Dropping his hand, he looked her in the eye. “I want us to be friends.”
Megan heard her heartbeat in her ears. “With benefits?”
“I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want that.” Intensity burned in his eyes. “You felt it tonight—we’re still attracted to each other. But I want to be friends, with or without sex.”
In other words, he was confident he could seduce her. And why wouldn’t he think that? She’d fallen into bed with him easily enough after his parents’ funeral. But she was different now. She had to be, for Cole’s sake.
Ellie stirred on the bed. Eager for the distraction, Megan crouched and began examining her. The wound was already looking a little better. This was what she was good at—taking care of animals. She felt grounded and whole as a veterinarian, and as Cole’s mother.
Adam’s shadow fell over her, but he stayed silent while she carefully checked Ellie’s vitals. Pleased with the dog’s progress, she said, “The worst has passed. I’m going to keep her with me for a day, administer the antibiotics, and a little sedation to keep her quiet if she needs it.” She stroked the Lab’s head and Ellie opened her eyes. The dog licked her hand, then closed her eyes and went back to sleep.
Megan let herself feel relief and happiness at having helped the stray. Growing up feeling alone and unloved by her father, she had always gotten unconditional love from her pets. Their selfless devotion had helped patch the hole in her heart. Now her passion was giving back to the animals that needed her.
Finally, she rose and faced Adam. “I’ll call you when you can pick her up.”
He jerked his gaze from the dog to her. “I cared about you in college. Too damned much. My feelings for you threatened my goals. You wanted a home and family, and I wanted a career in the military. I had to break up with you.”
She worked to keep her emotions under control. “And three years ago?”
“I was committed to the Marines. I couldn’t stay. It just seemed better to keep it simple.”
Simple?
He must have seen the incredulous look on her face. “Doing what I did, serving where I served, I didn’t want any strings that would complicate things. Simple.”
Megan wasn’t sure if she wanted to laugh or cry. Simple? It might have been for him. But three years ago, her life had been anything but simple. The panic of realizing she was pregnant. The decisions. Not knowing how to find Adam—he hadn’t left her any way of contacting him…
Simple.
It wasn’t that simple for her. “And now, Adam?”
“I’m being honest with you,” he said softly, reaching out to touch her arm. “I’m only here a few weeks, and after that, I’ll be back in L.A. Spend time with me, Meg.”
Tingles ran through her body as she realized she was actually considering his offer.
Spend time together, and they would end up in bed. A brief affair with no attachments. She rarely dated, and when she did, no one made her feel the way Adam had. Megan was ravaged by desire and a longing so deep it felt like her heart was bleeding. She’d thought she had healed. Gotten over him. She wanted to say no just to protect herself from more pain.
But she needed to do this, needed to see him, talk to him, find out if he had any room in his heart for a son. And she had to do it fast, before he heard about Cole in town.
This was the best way. At least this time, she would know it was temporary. But she had conditions. She wasn’t going to go on real dates and run into people who would tell him she had a child.
She forced her gaze to his face. “Okay. Let’s spend some time together while we can.”
…
Adam had been so desperate for her to agree that he’d been holding his breath. It was a relief to know she was nervous too. He could feel the tension in her arm where he held it above her elbow. “Excellent. Dinner tonight?”
She shook her head. “We’re not doing that. No dates, no going out.”
He narrowed his eyes. “Why not? Is it that guy Cole? Trying to keep this secret to prevent him from finding out?”
“No.”
Relief eased through his tight muscles. Megan wasn’t a liar. That was one of the things he’d always liked about her. If she said it wasn’t another guy, then the field was clear for them to see each other for a few weeks.
She took a breath. “But this isn’t a relationship. I’m not going down that road again. We’ll keep it private.”
He didn’t like the way that sounded, almost as if she were ashamed. “We’re old friends catching up. What’s wrong with that? I’d like to take you to dinner.” He wanted this time to be different from the last time he was here.
She stepped back, putting distance between them. “No dinners out. I can’t tonight, anyway.”
He opened his mouth, but she cut him off.
“I’ll pick up dinner and bring it to your parents’ house tomorrow night around eight or eight-thirty.”
He’d had enough. Adam hadn’t stayed alive, kept most of his team alive, by being dense. Megan was hiding something. If not a man, then what? He closed the distance between them. “What’s really going on, Meg?”
She backed up until she bumped the exam table. “I told you, I’m not doing the dating thing. You’re leaving in a few weeks. I don’t want to make this public.”
Adam placed both his hands on the cold metal table, caging her in. “And I’ve been honest about that. So what are you hiding?”
She dropped her gaze to his chest. “Nothing.”
Definitely lying, and in his experience that was unusual for Meg. It made his guts churn to realize that she didn’t think she could tell him…whatever it was. Why didn’t she want to be seen with him? She’d looked him in the eyes when she’d denied being involved with another man, so he believed her about that.
Then what?
She stiffened her spine. “Stop analyzing me. You said you wanted to see me, then you’ll see me on my terms.”
She was right. It was time to retreat. He’d find out tomorrow night what the problem was. Taking his hands from the table, he skimmed his palms up her arms. “You win, except I’ll get dinner for us. We’ll eat, have some wine, and talk.”
“Fine,” she said softly.
“And if you are willing, touch,” he added, skating his fingers over her shoulders to the bare skin of her throat. He wanted her, ached for her. Something was wrong, and he was going to get it out of her. Hell, she’d been there for him three years ago. If something was wrong in her life now, he could help her. But first he needed to win back her trust. A strategy was forming in his mind. Running his thumbs along her jaw, he said, “No sex.”
“What?” She frowned at him. “I mean I never said… I thought you wanted….”
“I know, I’m just getting it off the table. I want you, believe me. I’m hard for you right now.” He pressed his hips against her, letting her feel his arousal. “But all these years I stayed away so I wouldn’t hurt you again. I’m determined to prove to you, and maybe to myself, that although I can’t give you the life you always wanted, I can give you real friendship that doesn’t have to only be about sex.”
But it would include finding out what was troubling her. He couldn’t recall Megan ever keeping a secret from him. He didn’t like it one bit.