Chapter 11
You’ll get past this. You are a survivor. Kerry knew if she reminded herself often enough, she would start to believe it. This heartache was nothing compared to losing her mother. It was nothing compared to the neglect she’d suffered thanks to her father. And it was nothing compared to the years of struggling to find her place in the world and finding she didn’t have one.
This was nothing.
She would get past this soon. By the time my cast comes off.
But that didn’t mean she was going to stay cooped up in the grimy hotel room another day. Today she would take a walk around her new neighborhood. The beach was too far away, the hotels nearby were too expensive, so she’d made her way back to Hollywood. For now.
Soon she would have to make plans for the rest of her life. And she would. She would find a new job, a new home, maybe even a new city. Then she smiled, knowing exactly what she would do today. Change her blue tips to green. It was a soothing color and it matched her eyes. Good enough, she thought and began the tedious process of getting out of her room.
“Okay,” she yelled on an exhale when she finally reached the parking lot. The sun felt good on her face, the fresh air energized her and made her forget, for at least a moment, about the current mess that was her life. One week was long enough to sit in bed and wallow. It was time for action.
“I wondered if you might stay in there forever.”
“Ah, shit!” She twirled at the familiar voice she was sure was just a hallucination and nearly fell to the ground. But she stopped herself and held her hands up to stop his hands from helping her. “Was there something you needed, Malik?”
“I was hoping we could talk for a minute.”
She nodded and moved to sit sideways in her car. And she waited. This was his conversation, so he could do the talking.
“How are you?”
She glared up at him with an indignant look and he held up his hands. “Now you care?”
“I came to apologize for my behavior in the hospital. There is absolutely no excuse for the way I spoke to you. Or the way I treated you when you’d done all you could to keep Aram safe.”
Yet it hadn’t been enough. “Apology accepted.”
Golden eyes blinked in surprise. “That’s it? I apologize and you accept it?”
She nodded. “Why not, Malik? I don’t have any hard feelings toward you, so yes, apology accepted.” She loved him and she might for a very long time to come, but Kerry knew when she wasn’t wanted and she made a habit of never staying longer than she was welcome. She hadn’t done that since she left her father’s house and never looked back.
Hands shoved into his pockets, Malik continued to watch her as though waiting for something. “Will you come back?”
She shook her head because she couldn’t come back. Kerry knew herself and she knew it would take no time before she fell back into his bed and took whatever he was willing to give. She couldn’t do it. “No. I can’t.”
“So you are still mad.” He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, frustration rolling off of him in waves.
“No, but I think it’s best for all of us if I stay where I am.”
He frowned. “In this place?”
“I’ve lived in worse.”
“No. Absolutely not. This is unacceptable.” He moved closer until he blocked the glare of the sun. “I will find someplace for you to stay.”
“No, you won’t, Malik. I am perfectly able to take care of myself despite what you may think.”
“Dammit, Kerry, stop being so stubborn! You got hurt working for me and I will make sure you’re taken care of until you heal.”
She wanted to smile at the vehemence in his voice. Some day he would be a wonderful husband to some woman. He was bossy but kind and today, in cargo shorts and a thin surf-themed tee, he looked gorgeous. “Consider yourself free of obligation, Malik.” Why couldn’t he have come to declare his love? Instead he just wants me to continue to work for him and to pay for my recovery. “I don’t need your guilt-help.”
“It’s not guilt.”
Well, it wasn’t love, but she would never punish him for not loving her. “Okay fine, it’s not guilt. But I’m fine, Malik, don’t worry about me.”
“How can I not?” She raised an eyebrow and he grimaced. “I care, Kerry.”
She sighed because she knew he cared. Just not the way she wanted him to. “I’m fine.”
“You’ve been inside that room for four days straight.”
She didn’t want to know how he’d known that so she refused to respond.
“I followed Tisha here and watched her bring you food.”
“She offered.”
“Why didn’t you come to me?”
Kerry shook her head and slowly twisted until she was behind the steering wheel. “Goodbye, Malik. Have a nice life.”
* * *
Now that he knew which room was hers, Malik spent the next few days trying to coax her into conversation, which was pretty much impossible since she rarely left her room. After watching her cry for ten minutes before pulling out of the parking lot, Malik cursed himself as several kinds of idiot for showing up without a plan.
Again he hadn’t expected Kerry to be so unhappy to see him. So unforgiving, even though he deserved it all. And more. She’d accepted his apology and her hungry gaze told him she still had feelings for him. Yet she refused to talk to him, to accept his help, to smile at him.
But she couldn’t stay upset forever.
Finally on the fifth day, she pulled open the door and there he stood with several large floral arrangements. Kerry groaned, “What are you up to now, Malik?”
“I have some things to say to you.”
“I’m getting a distinct feeling of déjà vu. Didn’t we have this conversation already?”
He smirked at the casual way she tapped her face, meant to show him she didn’t care. “It was a disaster. You refused to listen and I said all the wrong things.” He’d surprised her and Malik realized he loved the way it felt to show Kerry she didn’t know everything about him. Yet.
“And now you’ve memorized your script?”
“In a manner of speaking, yes.”
She stepped back and waved him in. “Then let’s hear it.”
She hadn’t forgiven him yet and it might be some time before she was able to forgive him fully, but she cared and he considered that a win. “I’m an idiot, Kerry.”
“Congratulations. Most men go their whole lives without figuring that out.”
He grinned and stuck his tongue out, making her laugh. “What I mean is that I’ve been fighting commitment and relationships for so many years and then I met you. I didn’t like how you made me feel or how attracted to you I was. I didn’t know why back then, but I do now.”
Her curiosity was piqued but the stubborn woman would never ask the question he needed her to ask.
He chuckled. “What do I know, you ask? That’s simple, I know that I’ve been in love with you since the day we met. You were feisty and mouthy with that fire engine-red hair, all wrong, but still I couldn’t look away. I wanted to touch you, taste you. Tease you. Now that I know what life is like with you in it, I want to spend every day laughing with you, loving you, and growing old together.”
Tears welled in her eyes and two perfect drops fell. “You do? You love me?”
“More than I probably should, considering I don’t deserve you. One day you might wake up and realize you could do so much better than me.” He took another step closer until his knees brushed against the bed.
Kerry swiped the tears from her cheeks with a watery smile. “That would be pretty hard to do since you’re the best man I know.”
Malik knew he would work every damn day of his life to live up to what she thought of him. “Does that mean you still love me?”
She shrugged playfully. “It means I’ve missed you.”
“Is that all?”
She leaned back on her hands, inadvertently thrusting her chest in his direction. “It means that I could really and truly love a man who figured out how to get creative with a cast.”
Malik smiled at the challenge, an idea springing to mind he was sure was nothing at all like she’d been imagining. “Pervert.” She laughed while he grabbed a marker from the nightstand and began to draw on the outside of her calf.
“What are you drawing? I thought you liked that I was pervert!”
He chuckled but he maintained his concentration. “I love it, but now I’m focused on something else.”
“What is it?” she asked when he tossed the marker back on the nightstand.
“Have a look.”
The angle was awkward so he lifted her and carried her to the mirror fixed to the back of the door. She gasped and caught his eyes in the mirror. “You mean it?”
“Of course I do,” he said, admiring just how accurate his hastily drawn sketch had been. “I love you, Kerry, and I’m so damn sorry if I ever made you feel like being you wasn’t enough.” He set her back on the bed and knelt between her legs, hands resting on both thighs. “I love you so damn much, Kerry, and if you give me the chance I will spend every day of our lives together showing you just how incredible you are. How smart and funny, how beautiful you are.” He couldn’t help it, he needed a drink from her sweet mouth to twist up his courage for the next part. “Better. Kerry Anne Gibbs, my love, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife, and the next Sheikha of Ravenna?”
Without even looking at the ring he slid on her finger, Kerry flung her arms around him and they both tumbled to the dirty motel carpet that covered the hard floor. “While I don’t want to say yes to your beautiful proposal here on the floor surrounded by who knows what, I’m too in love with you to wait for another setting. So yes, Malik, I would be honored to be your wife. To grow old with you and give Aram a bunch of brothers and sisters to boss around.”
Now that was a future Malik could get behind.