Chapter Eight
Danny kept his eyes closed as he slipped out of bed. He kept them closed walking out his bedroom door and down the hallway to the top of the stairs. Hand on the railing, his eyes stayed shut while he counted the stairs on his way down. Reaching the bottom, he made a left and headed toward the kitchen, still blind.
He did this all the time in the middle of the night when he couldn’t sleep and sought a glass of something cold to drink. Practiced. Practiced for that day when closing his eyelids wouldn’t make any difference.
A barely-there sound reached his ears, an intake of breath, maybe? He lost his bearings for a second and bumped into a piece of furniture, stubbing his toe. “Ow, dammit.”
“Ahhh!”
That sound he knew. He opened his eyes to find Liv sitting up on the couch, behind her the TV playing on mute. The glow from the television cut through the darkness, laying him bare to Liv’s wide-eyed stare.
He quickly crossed his hands over his junk, hiding, uh, most of it. “Hey, sorry I scared you.”
She responded less quickly, her eyes taking a little trip around naked Danny before shielding her view with a hand in front of her face. “You’re breaking a rule, Mr. Ellis.” She turned and sat back against the couch cushions.
Danny smiled. “You broke them first.”
“So this is retaliation?” she said to the TV.
“No actually. I’m still working on my revenge plan. This is me grabbing a drink when you’re supposed to be sound asleep in your bed.”
“I couldn’t sleep,” she said softly.
Was it because of the same reason he couldn’t? “Don’t move. I’ll be right back.” He ran upstairs, threw on a pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt and hustled back to join Liv on the couch.
She glanced his way out of the corner of her eye, but otherwise didn’t move a muscle when he sat, close, but not too close. Things had been strained between them since the morning they’d learned of Mrs. L.’s illness.
He put his feet up on the coffee table. “Why is there no sound?”
“It’s not so scary if I can’t hear what’s going on.”
Great. This was one of those movies. He rolled his head to the side to look at Liv’s profile. “C’mere.”
Chin tucked into her shoulder, she scooted over until she fit under his outstretched arm, her head on his chest, her body snug against his side. “We can change the channel. I’ve seen this one before.”
“It’s okay. You comfortable?” This was the first time she’d cuddled against him since her pregnancy and after today’s doctor’s appointment and seeing the tiny swell of her stomach, he wanted to be sure this position worked.
“Very.”
He closed his eyes and once again thought about this morning—Dr. Silver putting the hand-held fetal monitor on Liv’s belly, then the strong, rapid drumming of the baby’s heartbeat filling the examination room.
Filling his chest like nothing else ever had before.
“Your baby’s heart beats between 110 and 160 times per minute,” Dr. Silver had said. Your. Baby. And she was. His. They didn’t know the sex yet, but he had a feeling it was a girl. He also knew spending the next twenty-eight weeks with Liv watching her stomach grow, reading What To Expect When You’re Expecting with her, and making sure baby-to-be and mommy had everything they needed, meant more to him than he’d ever imagined.
When Dr. Silver had finished and left them alone in the room, Liv had taken his hand and placed it on her stomach, laid her hand atop his, and looked up at him with so much adoration in those dark green eyes of hers that he’d stopped breathing.
They’d stared at each for a long time, and it had taken every ounce of strength he had not to bend down and kiss her. Tenderly. With admiration. Awe.
On the television screen, the token sex scene that preceded the couple being stabbed to death by the killer kicked into R-rated gear. Liv squirmed the slightest bit, but enough to tell him she needed to let off some sexual steam as much as he did.
She flattened her palm against his rib cage and used her other arm to push herself up to look at him. Lust shimmered underneath long eyelashes and heavy lids. Her pink lips parted and all he could think about were those lips wrapped around his growing erection.
He watched her mouth close and a swallow labor it’s way down her throat. “I’m going to bed,” she said, her voice a sexy rasp that curled around his aching body. “Good night.”
“Night,” he muttered, staying put until he heard her reach the top of the stairs. Then he turned off the TV, got himself a drink of water, and went to sleep wondering when they’d lose the battle.
Uncertainty no longer outweighed the intimacy he craved to have with her. He was a ticking time bomb, ready to risk the blast and hopeful they could handle it without attaching too much weight to it. Screw an open marriage. He wanted to have sex with his fiancée. His wife.
…
“Are you sure this looks okay?” Liv asked as they arrived at Zane and Sophie’s house the next day. The smell of something barbecuing on the grill wafted to Danny’s nose and he didn’t bother knocking on the front door. He just walked them inside before pausing to reassure his nervous best friend.
“You look amazing,” he said honestly.
“I feel a little… exposed.” She ran her hands down the front of the maternity dress she’d bought the other day. “Maybe I should run home and put on something that doesn’t show so much”—she glanced down—“cleavage.”
Best part of the dress if you asked him. The scoop neckline did show off more skin than she normally shared, but there was nothing indecent about it. Sexy came to mind.
“I repeat. You look amazing. But if you’re going to be uncomfortable then—”
“I’m unsure, that’s all. Still getting used to the whole big boob thing.”
He couldn’t help it. He let his eyes fall to her chest. A guy hears “big” and “boob” and naturally he has to check them out.
“Danny!”
“Sorry.” He looked up. “Actually, no I’m not. Come on, let’s go find everyone.” He gave her the crook of his arm and steered them toward the patio.
“If you’re going to stare at my boobs all night, it’s going to be a problem.”
“What kind of problem? The kind where you want to hit me over the head with something or the kind where you want to kiss me?”
She brought them to a halt. “You know exactly what kind.”
“Tell me. In detail with all the dirty words you know.”
“Seriously? You want to do this here? Now? Should we find an empty room and end our friendship by screwing each other’s brains out?”
“Hey.” He cupped her chin. “I’m just joking around. What’s gotten into you all of a sudden? And sleeping with each other won’t end our friendship.” At least he didn’t think so.
“Easy for you to say. You can have sex without emotions getting involved.”
She thought he wasn’t invested in this? Anger flared in his chest. Sex or no sex, the moment yesterday with his hand on her abdomen had made it clear they weren’t just friends anymore.
The idea that she thought so little of him stung, even though she’d just touched on his biggest fear: her falling in love with him like that. He wasn’t the safest bet. Not when pushed into a corner with expectations he wasn’t positive he could live up to. “If you think that highly of me, maybe we shouldn’t get married.”
“Maybe we shouldn’t.”
Danny had no idea why Liv had gotten so irritable so quickly, but he didn’t need this crap. He’d done his best so far and if that wasn’t good enough for her, then he didn’t know what else he could do.
She blinked and took a shaky breath that lodged a knot in the pit of his stomach. “I think I should go home,” she whispered. “Please tell Sophie and—”
“Hey, about time you guys got here,” Zane said, striding through the sliding French door with an empty platter in his hands. Music and voices floated in behind him. “I’m loading up on more chicken and burgers. The gang is outside. Is that your coleslaw, Linc?” He nodded to the bowl in Danny’s hand.
Caught, Liv had no choice but to stay at the party now. “Would I show up without your favorite?” she said.
Zane flashed his million-dollar smile. Seriously. He’d got over a million for a toothpaste ad. “Awesome. Head on out. I’ll be right behind you.”
“Olivia, you’re here,” Sophie called out from the open doorway. “Come outside. There are some friends I want to introduce you to. Hi Danny.”
“Hey Soph.”
Liv shot him a quick glance before walking away. He followed behind, but kept his distance.
They were greeted with warm hellos and the sun relaxing just above the horizon, rays of fading light slanting across the ocean only a few hundred feet away. Thirty minutes later they were eating. Laughing. Having a good time, albeit with glances of chagrin between them. Still, every brush of Liv’s arm or bump from her knee as they sat together on the cushioned outdoor sectional made him aware of her as a man, not a best friend.
“We really did,” Honor continued, “we vacuumed the cat. Oh! And another time we gave him a bath and then blow-dried him. He puffed out like a giant cotton ball.”
The baby monitor next to Sophie crackled, and Hannah’s tiny cries filtered through the speaker. “Sounds like someone’s awake,” Sophie said, standing. “I’ll be back.”
“Could I…” Liv started. “Could I go with you?”
“Sure.”
“Mind if I join, too?” Danny asked, not sure where the question came from, but positive he wanted to see Hannah in her crib.
“Not at all.” Sophie led them upstairs, talking about what a perfect baby Hannah was.
“Hello, sweet pea,” she cooed as she lifted Hannah into her arms. The baby immediately quieted. “Let’s change your diaper and then I’ll feed you.” Sophie looked over her shoulder at him. “Does Uncle Danny want to change his first diaper?”
“Uh…”
Liv giggled, no doubt due to the panic taking over his face. “How about if I give it a try?”
“Okay, sweet potato fry,” Sophie said in a melodic, loving voice as she put Hannah down on the changing table. “Aunt Olivia is going to change your diaper because Uncle Danny is too scared.”
“I’m not—what’s wrong?” He noticed Liv tearing up.
She waved away his concern. “It’s nothing.” Jesus, these mood swings came out of nowhere.
With one hand carefully on Hannah’s little body, Sophie gave Liv a quick hug with her free arm. “You’re part of our family, too, Olivia.”
At Liv’s nod, emotion snuck its way up the back of Danny’s throat and he swallowed the tight knot. This unexpected situation they were in was so much more than an agreement between the two of them. Friendships and confidences would deepen and be tested. Stronger attachments created.
Danny watched Liv change Hannah’s diaper like a champ, but looked away while Sophie sat in the rocking chair and situated herself to breastfeed. He’d almost excused himself, but Liv had laced her fingers with his and brought him to sit beside her on the window seat.
They talked about Zane and Sophie’s trip to Hawaii next month for a surf tournament and work with SHE, the nonprofit organization they were both devoted to, and how excited Sophie was to take Hannah on her first trip.
Sophie asked how Liv was feeling—great with no more morning sickness—and before he knew it, Hannah was fed and being passed to Liv.
“I’ll just be a few minutes,” Sophie said before leaving the room.
Being left alone with Liv, her gaze lovingly on Hannah, didn’t just tug at his heartstrings. It knit together his love for his best friend and his unanticipated desire for his fiancée in a way he absolutely couldn’t ignore anymore.
You are so beautiful, Liv.
“She’s beautiful, isn’t she?” Liv whispered, her eyes glued to Hannah.
Danny didn’t take his eyes off Liv. “Yes.”
“I could stare at her all day.”
“Yeah,” he agreed, still stuck on the round curve of Liv’s cheek and the soft slope of her nose in profile.
“Do you want to find out the sex ahead of time?”
“Sorry?” he choked out, covering his mouth with his hand. Did she just say, “Want to have sex at bedtime?”
She spared him a quick peek, her enamor fixed on Hannah, not the idiot sitting next to her plotting to get her out of her clothes. “Do you want to find out if we’re having a boy or a girl or do you want to be surprised?”
Two words slammed into him like a bullet train without brakes: we and you. He didn’t know if Liv realized what she’d said, but if Hannah weren’t in her arms, he’d be all over his best friend. Hands, lips, tongue, from the tiny little birthmark above the corner of her left eye all the way down to her toes.
“I haven’t given it any thought,” he said, sounding far calmer than he felt. “What do you want to do?”
“I think I want to be surprised.” She slid her finger inside Hannah’s chubby palm. “I also think if it’s a girl, I get to name her and if it’s a boy, you get to.”
Killing him. She was killing him. “Liv, you don’t—”
“I already have a name picked out, so you better starting thinking of yours.”
He combed a hand through his hair. This was a big goddamn deal, and he didn’t know if he could handle it.
“Stop thinking so hard. You’re going to bust a blood vessel or something.” She turned to look him straight in the eye. “I’m sorry for how I overreacted earlier. I’m a little hormonal. But no matter what, you’re my best friend. You giving my son his name is something we can keep forever and it means a lot to me.”
“Okay,” he whispered, his heart hammering. How could he say no?
He didn’t want to say no.
…
Liv couldn’t believe how calm and cool she sounded when her insides were doing a double back flip with a twist. She’d be lying to herself if she said she hadn’t thought about Will during the past few minutes. What names would he have liked? Would he insist they find out the sex of the baby ahead of time or would he also want to be surprised?
This past week things between her and Danny had been uneasy and she’d thought about Will more often than she liked. But the second she’d put Danny’s hand on her stomach at the doctor’s office yesterday, everything changed.
Skin to skin like that, his warm, calloused palm on her expanding baby belly, turned their tense relationship on its head again. Liv had never felt more protected and safe than she had in that moment. Having Danny by her side made everything okay. Better. Right. The touch, while innocent, had felt more intimate than anything she’d experienced before. And ever since, all she could think about was having him inside her. Loving her the only way he hadn’t yet. Would he move with slow, deliberate strokes? Or fast, desperate thrusts?
“Knock, knock,” she said to take her mind off those dirty thoughts.
“What?”
“That’s not what you’re supposed to say.” She made a face at him. “Knock, knock.”
“Who’s there?”
“Dwayne.”
“Dwayne who?”
“Dwayne the tub. It’s overflowing.” She grinned. Danny gifted her with his I’m-smiling-because-it’s-you smile in return. “Thought we needed to lighten the mood.”
“With Dwayne.”
“Dwayne usually does the trick.”
“It’s not a bad boy’s name.”
“Don’t you dare! I mean, not that there’s anything wrong with the name, but there are a lot cuter ones.” This might be harder than she thought, not giving her opinion on a boy’s name.
“So cute is a prerequisite.” He took Hannah’s tiny sock-covered foot in his hand.
“And manly.” She winked at him. “A cute, manly name. Like Danny.”
He mulled that over with a twinkle in his eye before saying, “What name do you have picked out?”
“Not telling.”
“Got it.” He furrowed his brows in a way that told Liv he might have accepted her secrecy, but he planned to get it out of her.
She’d like to see him try.