Chapter14
Her father was waiting for her at the airport, standing by the baggage claim area and watching the herd of people wearily walking towards their bags and their next destination.
“How did you know?” she asked, stepping into Demetrius Knight’s arms and resting her head on his chest.
He held her tight and she fought back the tears, but one slid down her cheek and onto her father’s wool coat.
“He called me. I figured you were coming home when I saw you on the news, but I wasn’t sure.”
“You saw that?”
“Folks all around Pella are talking about you. The story broke when that cartel leader was successfully ambushed, and it got out that someone from Pella was involved. I saw you on the six o’clock news, and I knew by that look in your eyes that you’d been through something.”
“I don’t want to talk about it right now,” she said, still leaning into him, completely oblivious to the crowd that snaked around them.
“I know, princess. I thought you went there to become a model. I didn’t know that was code for giving your daddy a heart attack.”
“I’m sorry. It’s a lot to explain, and I just need some time to figure out what I’m going to do next.”
“I understand.”
She leaned back and looked up at him.
“You mean you’re not going to lecture me about what an awful mess David is and how it’s all his fault?”
“You’re a grown woman. I’m not here to tell you how to live your life. I’m here to pick you up when you’re down and hold you when you’re hurting.”
“I love you, Daddy.”
“And I love you. Now, let’s get home.”
“Thank you for coming to get me.”
“I’m here for you, princess.”
“I know, Daddy.”
He grabbed her suitcase and picked it up with the ease of a man who’d been working manual labor his entire life. Kelissa walked beside him, slipping her hand in his free hand and sighing when he squeezed her fingers like he used to when she was a little girl. She wanted to cry right then for everything she’d had and everything she’d lost, but she wasn’t going to break down in the middle of an airport. She would save it for tonight, when she was alone, and she could let the flood gates open.
“I have the guest room made up,” he said of the small second bedroom in his tiny duplex that had once been her bedroom. “If you want to stay with me tonight, I can—”
“That sounds great,” she said. “Can I take you to dinner first?”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“Fleming’s?”
“The Steakhouse?”
“Yep.”
“Okay, maybe you do have to do that.”
She smiled, opening the trunk of his older Chevy Impala and holding the heavy trunk up while he loaded her suitcase in it.
They rode to the steakhouse in easy silence, each lost in thought on the short drive.
When they arrived a few minutes later, the waiter sat them in a quiet table near the back and took their order. Once he was gone, Demetrius leaned in a little and smiled.
“I know you don’t want to talk about this, but I think you need to talk about it.”
“I know,” she said, taking a sip of her water. “There was just so much.”
“You don’t have to tell me everything, but I would like to know how you ended up in Tijuana in the first place. I have to admit, I’m glad I didn’t know what happened to you until you were safe.”
She laid it out for him, taking him through what had happened in great detail, keeping her voice low and pausing when the waiter came to check on them and refill their drinks. Demetrius asked very few questions, and mostly listened attentively, grunting at times when she knew he wanted to curse instead.
She was surprised that she kept talking, sharing what David’s parents had been through and how David had worked to get away from the cartel. She expected her father to make her swear to never see David again, so she was surprised by what he said next.
“That’s a good man right there,” he said.
“How so?”
“He took care of his parents, used his wits to outsmart the cartel and gain his freedom, then invested the money he had in a lucrative, legal business. That’s pretty smart if you ask me.”
“I thought you would be mad about his past.”
“We all have a past.”
“You don’t.”
He sighed, then dragged in a slow, ragged breath and closed his eyes. When he opened them, the pain was evident.
“I was in a gang before I met your mom,” he said, shocking Kelissa right out of the gate. “My parents were never home, and I was a lonely, stupid kid that couldn’t keep myself out of trouble. When my friend told me about his ‘other family,’ I jumped at the chance to belong to something bigger than myself. I joined that same week, and for the next few years, I spent every waking hour trying to prove myself to a bunch of thugs.”
“I can’t believe that.”
“You’d better believe it. It’s not just the violent ones that fall prey to the promises of the gangs. Much like how the cartels recruit people, I wanted a place to belong, and in the old neighborhood, if you weren’t causing problems, then all you had was problems.”
“I’m surprised that Mama gave you the time of day.”
“I was, too. But she called my bluff when I tried to steal her purse, and she didn’t back down. I was out trying to score some cash, so I could buy some new shoes, and your mom slapped me across the face when I cursed at her. You get more than green eyes from that woman, sweet lawd have mercy. She was fierce, and she wasn’t going to take my shit, and I was instantly in love.”
“How did she take that?”
“At first, she was nice but acted like she was too good for me. The truth was that she was too good for me, and we both knew it. When a robbery went bad and my friend and the others went to jail for murder, I was spared because I was too busy flirting with your mom to be bothered with plans to rob that store. I didn’t realize it at the time, but my friend was the mastermind behind everything; he even founded our gang.
I didn’t know anything, so I never wondered why there were only five of us. When Ryan decided to hit that convenience store in some other gang’s territory, he knew he was playing with fire. There was a shootout between the two groups, and there were innocent people caught in the crossfire.
I lost some friends that day, but it was a huge wake-up call, and I decided to make a change. Ryan and Earl were in jail, and everyone else was dead, including two guys from the other side.”
“I’m sorry about that. It’s never easy to lose friends.”
“It isn’t, but they were doing something stupid and wrong, and I was starting to realize that I had really messed up my life. My boy Terrence got away before the police got there, and he straightened his life out after that. Years went by and Shanice and I got married, then we had you a year later. Things were looking good for us and my past was long forgotten.”
“Terrence? Isn’t that the man who—” she trailed off, hands shaking.
But she already knew the answer.
He nodded.
“He was coming to bring you a gift and to tell us that he was getting married and his girlfriend was expecting. Someone driving by recognized him from that night, even that many years later, and they opened fire. They weren’t even out looking for him. It was just the wrong place at the wrong time, and if I hadn’t invited him to the party, he would have been miles away. He would have held his little boy in his arms when he was born, and your mom would still be here.”
“Oh, Daddy. It’s not your fault.”
She reached out and squeezed his hand. A single tear slid down his cheek, but his face remained stoic.
“I should have told you sooner, but there was never a good time, you know?”
“I know.”
“But you have to understand that these people, these criminals; they get you any way they can. Bill and David didn’t do anything to get caught up in that life, and they didn’t have a choice. I had a choice, but now that I’m older, I understand that I didn’t. Not really. I was fifteen and practically raising myself. My mother only came home to sleep at night, and my father skipped out on us every time the alcohol got to be too much. I was just a kid, and Ryan offered me what I needed.”
“It’s not your fault,” she whispered again.
“I just want you to know what it’s like to be in a place like that, and be surrounded by bad options and not much else. That’s why I moved you to Iowa, and that’s why we chose Pella. I know it was hard growing up in such a small town, but it was safer than Chicago. And after we lost your mother, I couldn’t stand to live there anymore.”
He was still holding her hand when the waiter brought their food and they both sighed, then laughed.
“You’re so much like your mother. Every time I look at you, I see her.”
“It’s the eyes,” she said, repeating what she’d heard her entire life, but he was shaking his head.
“Not anymore,” he said. “It’s not your eyes that remind me of her the most. It’s your heart.”
*
Kelissa spent the rest of the week just trying to get by. Her heart was raw from all she’d learned about her father and the guilt he’d carried for so long, but it wasn’t just that. She was having nightmares, reliving so much of what had happened to her with twists here and there that made it even more terrifying. She was barely sleeping, and when she woke up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, she always saw something in the shadows that reminded her of that night in the beach house.
It took her almost two weeks to move back into her house, and once she did, things started to feel a little more normal. She decided to get back on her Instagram account, which she hadn’t touched since the night of the kidnapping.
She went through her closet, trying to pick the perfect outfit and missing the wardrobe she’d had at David’s house.
“Ridiculous,” she said, shaking her head when she remembered the single suitcase she’d brought back with her.
She hadn’t unpacked it yet, and it was still shoved up under her bed; out of the way and forgotten.
She dropped it onto the bed and opened it up.
“There you are,” she said, holding up the dress she’d worn to the Pegasus Foundation Ball.
She changed quickly, arranging her necklace, then doing her hair and makeup. She rummaged around the suitcase until she found the gold sandals, then put them on.
Her clothes were all over the bed, and she didn’t want to risk having the messy reflection showing up on her pictures. Grabbing handfuls of clothes, she shoved them back into the suitcase, then flipped the top down to zip it. She moved the suitcase lid so fast, that something flew from the pocket, hitting the floor with a soft thud.
She turned, then sighed when she saw the purple case, the new phone that David had bought her inexplicably packed in her things when she had purposely left it behind.
“He must have put this in here,” she said to herself, looking at her older phone, and at the high-end one on the floor. She shrugged. “Might as well,” she said, turning the phone on and propping it up on her cell phone tripod.
She stood in front of one of her many backdrops, this one a stair lined entrance to a beautiful building, people in the background already heading into the venue. It was similar to how the photo would have looked from the Pegasus Foundation Ball, except that she was taking the picture in front of the building rather than the limo she’d arrived in.
She took several pictures, her poses more polished after working with Rich. There were nuances to every classic pose that couldn’t be seen by the untrained eye, and adding the tiny tweaks to her method had made a world of difference. Under Rich’s direction, she’d stepped up her modeling game. She needed to take new headshots and full-length shots to update her portfolio. And now that everything had changed, she’d needed to find her own way and start looking for an agent.
She took almost twenty pictures, flicking through them and discarding them one by one. When she deleted the last one, she swiped the screen for the next photo, surprised that there was nothing left. Usually, she had at least five pictures that she fussed over before she finally chose the one. But this time, she’d deleted them all without even realizing it, completely unhappy with every last picture.
“That’s never happened before,” she muttered, setting up the camera to take a picture every eight seconds and posing again.
This time, she took almost double the previous amount of photos, but in the end, the results were the same. She didn’t hate the pictures, but they weren’t her best, and she only posted her best. Her social media account was like her business card, and she didn’t put anything but the best out there. Even if she deleted the account, the internet was forever, and she couldn’t risk having a less than flattering photo out in the world. She’d been conscious of that from day one and she wasn’t about to lower her standards now.
She sighed, going to the Pegasus Foundation’s website and clicking on the tab that would take her to the pictures taken the night of the fundraiser. Shuffling through the watermarked photos, she found several of herself with David. They both looked so happy, and she’d had a wonderful time that night. It had only been a few weeks ago, but it felt like another lifetime.
A time before three men had kidnapped her while David lay bleeding on the floor. A time before she’d run for her life in another country, only to have frightened locals ignore her pleas for help and turn away from the danger. If David and his friends hadn’t found her when they did, she would have been run over in the street.
Looking at the pictures, it was hard to believe that she would be running for her life just hours later. The diamond pendant she still wore now hung from her neck, the tiny tracking device hidden on the wide ring that held the diamond on the delicate chain, completely undetectable even after she knew what she was looking for. The things technology could do today, and how a piece of equipment smaller than a grain of rice could show her location up to two miles away blew her mind.
If David hadn’t given her the necklace, she would have been dead.
But you wouldn’t have been in that situation if it wasn’t for him, she thought, angry at herself for forgetting his part in all this. Yes, he’d had been in a situation that wasn’t his fault, and he had done the right thing for his family, getting out the way he did. He couldn’t out muscle Chacon, and he couldn’t kill the man, so he’d done the only thing he could, and in the process, he had broken the chain. If he’d simply sold the dealership to another car dealer, Chacon would have done the same to the next family and the next.
And what if the next owner just told Chacon no and didn’t think about the consequences until it was too late? Not everyone knew how to handle criminals, and the cartel was an organized, well-oiled machine that thrive on the fear of the people they used, and the resources those people provided. You couldn’t just tell the cartel that you weren’t going to comply. That wasn’t how it worked.
By taking care of the whole problem and not just his own immediate problem, David had ended the cycle and probably saved a life. Yet here she was, stubbornly clinging to her anger at him for bringing her into that situation when he didn’t know there was a situation until she was already there. It was bad timing, and nothing more. The cartel saw an opportunity, and even though David had paid Salvador Chacon off and ended his involvement, they knew that they could force his hand. They knew right away that she was there, so they must have been watching him for some time.
She was still absently scrolling through the pictures while she worked it out, coming to terms with the events of that night. Now that she was safe and far removed from the situation, she was able to look at it in a more rational way, and she realized that they were both victims of the cartel.
“But he should have told me,” she said, her anger welling again.
It wasn’t the cartel, the kidnapping or anything else. She was upset that he had left her in the dark, and that was a matter of trust. She couldn’t be with a man that didn’t trust her enough to tell her something that big. She didn’t want a relationship with secrets, built on lies. She wanted a completely open, honest, and real relationship, and she wanted David to trust that she could handle herself. He realized that after the fact, and she knew he regretted choosing to keep the danger she was in a secret, but she was still hurt, and getting over that was going to take some time.
She finally found the picture she was looking for, saving it in a folder on her cell phone with all the others she’d found of them together. But it was the picture of his arm around her, standing in front of the limo, her excitement jumping off the page, that she was after.
She uploaded it to her page, tagging the Pegasus Foundation to give them credit, knowing that her shout-out would give them some more traffic on their page. They were doing excellent work rehabilitating retired racehorses and finding them loving homes, and they were a cause that Kelissa could get behind. Maybe once all this was over, she would do some charity work for them or something.
She captioned the picture, “I miss this,” and adding hashtags to boost traffic. When she hit post and the picture loaded, she knew that she’d picked the right photo. The fake backdrop in her tiny apartment would never be enough again because she had lived the reality. It wasn’t some fantasy, or some far off goal. It had been her life for a brief moment in time, and she was missing everything about San Diego and the man whose friendship had changed her life.
Her phone buzzed, and she knew before she looked at it that it was David. He had checked in on her a few times, but otherwise, he’d given her the space that she’d asked for. The way he’d handled it was different than any man she’d ever dated. When she asked for space, they either called her incessantly within twenty-four hours, their insecurity too much to bear, or they ghosted her. Demetrius had always told her it was because it took a special man to handle a strong woman.
“You need to find a man that will give you space without taking it personally. A strong man knows that we all need a break sometime, and he won’t try to make you feel guilty for ignoring him, and he won’t walk away,” he had said, wiping away her tears after a particularly rough breakup. “The man that’s good enough for my baby will know how to treat a woman. Don’t settle for anything less.”
Her father’s pep talks always made her feel better, and she was missing him today. She’d been holed up in her apartment since she’d left the safety of her childhood home and moved back out on her own. At first, the solitude had been exactly what she needed, but now, she was feeling the loneliness.
She picked up the phone, replying to David that she was fine and thanking him for checking on her, then she called her dad and waited for him to pick up the phone.
“Hey, princess.”
“Hey, Daddy. I was wondering if you wanted to get together this week for dinner or something?”
“I’m working all week, but what about next week? Thursday is Thanksgiving, you know.”
“Already?”
“Are you still moping around your apartment like a wounded puppy?”
“No,” she lied.
“Kelissa.”
“Yes, fine. Yes. I have. But I feel better today. I just needed some time.”
“It’s been a month.”
“I know.”
“How much more time could you need?”
“I don’t know.” She closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. “I just needed to sort things out.”
“And?”
“I’m starting to feel like my old self again.”
“Good. How is David?”
“I don’t know.”
“Haven’t you talked to him?”
“He texted me to see how I was doing.”
“And you told him?”
“That I was fine.”
“Seriously? Kelissa, you’re killing me.”
“What do you mean?”
“You know what I mean. What are you doing? Don’t you love him?”
“I do.”
“And he came clean and you accepted his apology and understand where he was coming from, right?”
“I did, I mean, I do. Of course, I do. None of what happened was his doing, and he admitted that he should have told me.”
“Do you forgive him?”
“I do.”
“Then, what’s the problem?”
She wanted to argue with him, to dance around his question and avoid the painful answer, but she knew her father, and he wasn’t going to leave this alone until he got the truth out of her. She groaned, then sighed, then took a deep breath.
“There it is,” Demetrius laughed.
“What?”
“The truth about to be set free.”
Kelissa laughed, shaking her head at the man who’d raised her, who knew her better than she knew herself. Demetrius Knight didn’t play around, and Kelissa had come to appreciate the straightforward, no-nonsense man he was. Except when she was the one on the hot seat.
“I do forgive him, and I love him, Daddy. I really do. I even understand that he did what he thought was right, and he thought he was protecting me. I don’t agree with how he went about it, but—” she trailed off.
“But his heart was in the right place, and he did it because he cares about you.”
“Exactly. And when I needed him, he was there. He needed to go to a hospital and he pushed through and he was there for me. If he hadn’t showed up when he had—” her voice caught and she pushed away the tears that threatened.
“But he did come when you needed him. Through everything, he was there when you needed him. And even though you didn’t really agree with how he went about it, he did everything in his power to keep you safe, and his foresight paid off.”
“It did.”
“So, what’s the problem? Did you like living in San Diego?”
“I did. It was perfect.”
“Did you like living with him?”
“I did. There were some things I would change, but I was happy.”
“Moving in with someone is a pretty big step. There are bound to be some challenges and room for improvement.”
“That’s true. But it worked for us, and things were changing as we got to know each other better.”
“As long as he was a gentleman.”
“Daddy,” she laughed. “Don’t be a prude.”
“So, what are you afraid of? And be honest. Don’t feed me some line of crap, because you know your old man is smarter than you think.”
“I’m afraid of being hurt.”
There, I said it, she thought.
“Hurt by Chacon’s men, because they’re not going to hurt you again.”
“No, I’m not afraid of him. Because when it came down to it, he was just as mortal and pathetic as the rest of us. There was nothing special about him, and seeing him grovel made him human.”
“So, you’re afraid of getting hurt because you’re in love with David.”
It wasn’t a question.
“Yes,” she admitted. “You told me I would know when I really loved a man, and when he loved me back, and you were right. David is the perfect man for me. He’s strong, but he doesn’t have to act like an ass to prove it. He gets me, and he’s not threatened by my strength. He treats me like an equal even though he’s six years older than me and much more worldly, and he cares about my hopes and dreams.”
“Is being with him easy?”
“Yes. It feels so natural, and I can just be myself. He pushes me to do better than my best.”
“Sounds like you two are good for each other.”
“We are.”
“And that can be scary.”
“Were you ever scared with Mom?”
“Are you kidding me? All the time. I was this washed up, wannabe street thug, and your mom was a straight A student, winner of the Science Fair, gorgeous woman who didn’t put up with my nonsense and wasn’t scared of me at all. I knew I wasn’t good enough for her, but she loved me anyway.”
“I wish she was here right now,” Kelissa said.
“I wish she was, too.”
“I just want to ask her what she thinks. Is this how she felt about you? Was she scared? Or did she just know?”
“She would say yes.”
“But I asked two questions.”
“I know you did,” Demetrius laughed, voice thick with emotion and happy memories. “And when you asked her if she just knew that I was the one, or if she was scared, her answer would have been ‘yes.’ Because she knew she loved me and she was scared out of her mind. But she loved me anyway.”
Demetrius sighed.
“You don’t have to ask your mom, Kelissa. You are so much like her that I know she’s in you, somewhere. Listen to what your heart is telling you. That’s what your mom would do, and that’s what you need to do. If you love that man, then love him. It doesn’t have to be so complicated.”
“Except I’ve spent the last month ignoring him, and trying to hide from everything I’ve felt.”
“So?”
“I don’t know how to fix that. I should have stayed and worked through it, but I ran away instead.”
“He understands.”
“I know he does, and that makes it harder.”
Her father sighed.
“Look, Kelissa, just come to dinner Thursday and we’ll figure this out.”
“Do you need me to come early to help?”
“No. I have it all covered. You bring yourself and I’ll take care of the rest.”